Are women above 30 comfortable to be submissive to men under 25.

[Teen_switch]

As my question states, are women comfortable?

As I mentioned in my post, a woman older than me craved submission. According to her her situation,after talking and conversating with her, I just understood that her life was downright chaotic. And if you're a mother, that is bound to happen.

In that chaos,she had lost herself. And yes,pictures are essential for an online dynamic(not always nudes). Anyways, a structure was required. Talking to her for a few days, I tried to understood how she percieved things.
1)She felt insecure about her own body post pregnancy, and was willing to work on it but just didn't know where to start.
I have comprehensive knowledge about fitness and help her start a workout routine and food routine that fit her day well.

2) Everyone was too reliant on her at work.(She was a doctor). Amidst all of her chaos, she was required to take a small break every 60 mins. During those breaks a task was to be completed.(Tasks were both sexual and non-sexual)

3) I required 20 mins of her time. We would hop on a call and it was a time where she was allowed to express herself. No judgements.

4)Contrary to popular belief, everybody is stuck up on orgasm denial. But a stressed woman like this was encouraged to have atleast one orgasm everyday.

5)Once this non sexual routine was implemented, she felt better. It was now time to explore her kinks. She stated interest in public humiliation(she was scared as she was well respected,a public mishap could destroy her life), petplay and pain.

6) For her to feel subconsciously humiliated in public, a necklace with an engraving of my name was ordered for her. Gradually elements of petplay were added in as tasks during her little breaks. Pain was something we explored during online sessions.

There were many other things. I hope this gives you a better idea on how I approach a woman's mental state.Everything is not always kinky and hot. 70% of the times it's pure boring.But that's what makes the 30% more fun. If you have any questions,feel free to ask. This id just me describing my experience,feel free to share yours as well

 

[Sappho_CGN]

I would never accept such a young guy as a DOM. I am 48. My husband is 50.

 

[Teen_switch]

I would never accept such a young guy as a DOM. I am 48. My husband is 50.

Noted

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I'm not over 30 but I'd never be sub to a man under maybe 40. Just doesn't work for me.

 

[RachelWalsh]

I definitely prefer older men for that dynamic

 

[Deleted member 4038640]

I definitely prefer older men for that dynamic

On my way

 

[Christina_submission]

i have had similar dynamic younger man dominate me ......sorry though younger guys just cant cut it older gentlemen i feel grasp the true definition of submission

 

[FreckledSprite]

I could depending on how dominate and mature the man in question is.

My concerns would be someone without a fully formed frontal cortex might not be able to dom responsibly.

 

[lowcollar]

I would guess so. I was submissive at 40 to a woman of 24.

 

[NerdWhore]

I (40s f) have subbed for guys in their 20s before and found it super hot - they try so hard its cute

 

[Nah1]

As a women in my 50’s there is no way I would let a let a man in his mid 20’s dominate me. Maybe if he was in late 30’s early 40’s.

 

[teaching_alice]

I have tried and failed to submit to men younger than me. I just can't get into it and they don't seem to have what it is I need.

 

[magic_rat]

I've been on the fetish scene for a while now. I meet 20 something doms at munches and they ask how to get noticed.

Get old is my advice. I'm old. I'm confident and assertive and people just assume I'm an alpha dom (I have a sub side too which can surprise people. It may be inaccurate but people look at me and see a safe pair of hands. They look at boys your age and see an inexperienced wannabe.

It sounds like your only experience is online - so you only know how to talk about it.

I've yet to meet a woman old enough to know better who'll sub for a baby dom. Too much inexperience, too much risk. It's not something you can learn off a youtube video.

Your best bet is to find yourself a dungeon and befriend an experienced dom or ideally the dungeonmaster. Learn from them (they're usually happy to share experience) and get them to mentor you.

Then ask the question again in 20 years.

 

[Fullygrownbrat]

Hmmmmmm.

I think there is a natural power imbalance there. I would say the same if the sexes were reversed. It wouldn’t make it an automatic no, sometimes age gap works, but I find the S side to be a place of relaxation, and I’m not sure I would be able to fully trust someone that young outside of the bedroom to be relationship Dom material.

In a scene or for play, sure, I think it could be done, but aside from that, I would be hesitant.

 

[babysitterbuttslut]

Not over 30 but I dunno guess it would be hot then too. But being a Dom needs a lot of experience to do right (to my mind anyway) which usually doesn't come without some years into the lifestyle.

 

[base10]

From a dominant perspective, domming someone younger than me is a far more natural dynamic. The built in power imbalance is in the right direction. Even when not overtly kinky, being with a girl older than me is a different dynamic. Experience, authority, power, an older dom and a younger sub makes it a much more natural dynamic to me

 

[Lost_Writer01]

I’m not sure if the original post was intended as a question or written as advice. If the latter, it seems quite specific and likely not applicable to many situations. If the former, I will answer below because some young Doms may find the advice helpful:

As with most skills in life, the more you do it, the better you likely are to be at it. But again, as with most skills, it’s helpful to have someone more experienced and knowledgeable help you. I’d say being a good Dom physically is probably a skill, so to speak, whereas being a good Dom mentally is certainly more of a mindset, drawn from the right mentality, experience and understanding.

It’s not unheard of that a Dom can be younger than a sub (I have been) but it’s rare that a more experienced sub is older than the Dom in question. It’s hard to account for a dynamic like that.

As others have said, learn, recognise that a dynamic where the Dom is older/more experienced is more agreeable and comfortable for many subs, and seek to close that gap through learning and seeming the advice of others. In time you’ll find someone where you can move beyond online and into the physical, with the appropriate amount of care and knowledge.

LW

 

[bbwAlexa]

I think it's the young doms lack of real life knowledge that I would struggle with. I don't know anyone who can break hourly. Especially a doctor. Telling a post partum, hormonal, exhausted female to diet and extra just a no go. This is where you get her to love herself no matter what. Pre baby bodies are rarely achievable.

 

[Teen_switch]

I think it's the young doms lack of real life knowledge that I would struggle with. I don't know anyone who can break hourly. Especially a doctor. Telling a post partum, hormonal, exhausted female to diet and extra just a no go. This is where you get her to love herself no matter what. Pre baby bodies are rarely achievable.

Sure, her consulting hours were not always timed. But she managed. If she was willing to put in the hard work to have a better health which also resulted hear in looking nice which gained confidence in herself, ig the problem's in someone who's not willing to work hard at all and pass futile comments.

 

[SPARTAN047]

Aging is nearly impossible to reverse, but the pre baby bodies and what bodies a man had before depression are possible to achieve from some of the mums and dads I used to read stories from.

They're very interesting and since I hate my body as it is, I'll try to at least go back to how it was before COVID.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

I see 20 yr olds as people to mentor (in life, not in BDSM). I could not feel subby with someone I see as a potential mentee.

The exception is BDSM audios and stories. If the guy sounds/reads young but I don’t know his age for sure, I have no problem getting into subspace.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

There ARE women over 30 who would happily go for *adult* men under 25. You're getting only 'no' reactions here so I've got to put that out there.

If you are explicitly looking for over 30 women, how do you phrase it? If I were into younger men, I know that "middle aged goddess" would get much further with me than "cougar" or "older woman". People can be very particular and words are very loaded.

Some women may be reluctant to say they are looking for a younger man for fear of being shamed, or people assuming she is abusive, or calling her a cougar which some women definitely do not like. (There is tremendous potential for abuse with power/experience imbalance but I'm not saying it can't ever work. It's just very much not for me.) So be as reassuring as you can that your respectful of her desires and that she is emotionally safe with you (and please expect the same from her!). Many women don't like being fetishized so be careful not to come across as someone who gets off on just her age (even if her age is a huge turn on for you). We are whole people and want to be wanted for ourselves, not one feature. Maybe you do all that already, I don't know. Wonderful if you do.

Finally, please belive it is not you that makes me not want younger men, it is wholly me. I would be squicked out by *myself* if I went for younger men, not by the younger men. I feel protective towards all younger people, not just men. I want to mentor them. I feel almost maternal even. So I get very strong and squicky incest/abusive boss vibes if someone pops the thought of being with a younger man into my head. But that is not on the younger person.

I am sure there is someone out there for you who would be thrilled to find you. She just might be hard to find.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

One last thought. There definitely are older women who are not experienced BDSM players and a few might not mind learning the ropes together with a less experienced younger man if they were safe, slow, careful, and receptive to feedback. I would highly recommend they both learn, together, from more experienced people regardless of their age. I happen to be a woman some decades past 20 who has been kinky my whole adult life but only recently been able to start playing that way. Age =/= BDSM experience in all cases.

Ok, that wasn't the last thought. One more. I don't want a man to help me get my pre-baby body back. I don't want to look like I did in my 20s because it is not possible. I can be fit and strong, I can even be slender (which does not equal healthy), but pregnancy and age leave indelible marks and changes. I don't want to be shamed for them or have them treated as negative. I don't want my age treated as something to disguise. Younger me had terribly unhealthy self image, untreated mental health issues, little financial resources. I celebrate the good changes that have come with age. My experience, my confidence, my calm, my accomplishments, my security. If I were into younger men (am not), I would want him to want me for me as I am, older, and to appreciate what that brings to the relationship. I wouldn't want him to try to make me look like what I'm not and never can be again. I will always have stretch marks and I'm proud of those tiger stripes. I will always have a crease in my belly now, even when slim, and that still triggers insecurity because society tells me it's ugly. Soothe that please, don't reinforce it. I have crows feet near my eyes. I don't want them covered, I just want to be me and wanted for me. I'm going gray and I dye my hair, ok, but I want that to be my choice, not compulsory. When I go fully silver some day, I want to stop dyeing and have someone find that hot.

 

[apom]

I'm 36 and mom-bodied, and I'm not really into the official BDSM thing with all the rules and labels and stuff, but if a younger man wants to use me who am I to tell him no? My question is, can he handle a pregnant slave?

 

[magic_rat]

…if a younger man wants to use me who am I to tell him no?

Um… the person with a choice?