Is Sex A Necessity?

[Savage Kitten]

I was wondering how much of a role SEX plays in a relationship/marriage?

I would think that it played a major role but there are so many people who claim they have been 'cut off' sexually by their partner... for months (years?)even. If this is so, then does the person with holding sex expect the other to remain faithful to their vows? Does the person 'doing without' have a love for his/her spouse that is so strong that they can go without sex and still have a loving relationship? Or if they choose to fulfill their sexual needs elsewhere does the other partner have a right to feel betrayed? Cheated on?

I have seen comments on this board that lead me to believe it is a possibility.

 

[LusicousLionness]

Is Sex a Necessity?

 

[Jade]

Hmmm, good question.

Really though, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
I mean, if I say it IS a necessity, then I am a bitch and only care about the physical aspects of a relationship in order to maintain it.
But, if I say it is unimportant, than I am just a cold, non physical woman with asexual tendencies... I could go into greater detail here but,... nah.

Anyway.. all I know is.. the physical sensations are VERY necessary for me... by which means I get them is not AS important but is still important.
This was already addressed on another thread but I will reiterate.... masterbation kicks ass ... but it just doesn't cute it compared to the real thing.. not for me anyway.

However, clicking my own mouse has its advantages too.

The End

 

[Bliss]

"Payne gotta have it!"

For me it is a necessity. Obviously not as much as water, food and air, but if my "itches don't get scratched" the antsiness tends to amplify until they do.

For me, sex is an emotional satiation as much as a physical one. The occasion can be long & loud or short & sweet. Doesn't matter to me, as long as I'm with he who curls my toes.

Masturbation seems lonesome. Not that I don't touch myself!

 

[Expertise]

An unequivocal YES.

Payne actually summarized my feelings on this very nicely.

Plus I like when she talks about touching herself

Bottom line, a relationship based on sex is doomed to failure. However sex (lack of, not satisfying, too much etc.) is also the greatest deystroyer of relationships.

 

[Patryn]

I was in a great relationship that didn't include sex due to my boyfriend being impotent for curable medical reasons. He went to the doctor, more or less to placate me, I think, and never really made an effort to correct the problem. I realize there were other issues there outside of just not having sex, but the impotence was what eventually broke us up. He'd "gotten used to it", more or less, and he had other intersts and hobbies, so sex just wasn't a priority for him. I guess that's fine if he would have been with someone who shared those views, but I didn't, and if was eventually the lack of and unwillingness to change that that broke us apart. So yes, in most relationships, I would say it is necessary.

 

[morgainefairy]

i think it is important to first define the nature of the marriage. we all know there are many different lifestyles out there and no one thing is right for everybody.

i went through a two year period during which i simply was not attracted to my husband. i even encouraged him to seek pleasure elsewhere. why? because he's my best friend and he shouldn't have to suffer just because of my personal, temporary issues.

however you choose can be healtht, it is in the approach and intention. especially the intention.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Lovers do it best!

a LTR without sex????!!!!! been there .. done that ... hated my life .. i felt i was justified in having affairs at the time ... but really those affairs did not involve love ..

i will never never never never put myself in that situation again ... it causes bad feelings between you and your mate .. hate almost really ...

i think a loving couple NEEDS sex in order to survive .. to share that intimacy ... for me now with my LTR .. sex brings us closer than i ever thought possible .. actually i think we feed off of each other's sexual vibes ... it is such an amazing feeling ...

 

[Skibum]

Sex may not be a necessity in a relationship, but without sex you can have a lot of resentment and bitterness, especially if one of the parties wants sex and is not getting it.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Intimacy....

That's where it's at.!!!!!

blue

 

[teresafannin]

I think a relationship based solely on sex is not a healthy one. For me, I want it all, romance, someone to talk to & laugh with, as well as great sex. The man I am with now is not only a great lover, but he is my best friend. Due to the trauma of the last year, our sex life hasn't been the best.In the last month, however, I am starting to be a little bit more like I used to be. Who I was last year is gone forever, but the new me is starting to move forward. If he had not been patient & waited for me to be ready, I don't think we would have made it this far. I plan on growing old(er) with him & plan on making love with him as long as I am able.

 

[Savage Kitten]

Re:

if my "itches don't get scratched" the antsiness tends to amplify until they do.

For me, sex is an emotional satiation as much as a physical one.

I tend to agree with Payne. Even though I am not in a 'relationship' at the moment the longer i go w/o the more emotional i get.. talk about major mood swings LOL

to have my partner deny me though.. turn away from me sexually would make me feel unwanted.. unattractive.. and unloved... but i wonder.. if i had been in that relationship... 20 or so yrs.. .and things kinda slowed down to nothing... if i would be more accepting of it?

i dunno.. it just really saddens me to think people would actually do that to each other

 

[Bigdog]

I would consider sex a necessity at least to some degree. Not often enough is annoying, but none is unacceptable in my opinion. One of the few things I remember from my college Marketing class is Maslow's "Hierarchy of Need", and the very top of the pyramid was Air, Food, Water, Shelter and SEX.

Come to think of it, doesn't a good supply of the first four usually lead to the last?

 

[Dreamer1]

My answer is YES! I need the physical as well as the emotional aspects to keep my mind, body and soul operating at peak efficiency!

 

[Carl East]

For me sex is not a necessity, it's just very nice to be able to make love to the woman you adore. I think I'm sex mad though, so don't listen to me.hehe

Carl.

 

[Blues]

Bottom line, a relationship based on sex is doomed to failure. However sex (lack of, not satisfying, too much etc.) is also the greatest deystroyer of relationships.

I feel that when when one partner in a relationship begins to withold sex, for any reason, it is a marker of the begining of the end. It erroads intimancy(sp?), causes resentment and hostility, and promotes infidelity.

Basically, without sex you become "just friends", and sometimes not very good ones at that.

 

[lethal_heartbreaker]

SEX SEX SEX is so important.
I love it

 

[Lady_Kathreen_Silas]

Necessary and just plain fun to have

In my first marriage, my ex-husband was a real bastard and used sex more as a way to control and hurt me. After my divorce, I went four and half years before ever sleeping with another man. I am now remarried with two beautiful children and my husband and I can't seem to get enough of each other, but at the same time, there are times when we don't need sex and are content just to cuddle or whatever. Anwyay...necessary but also can be just plain fun.

 

[Thor's Hammer]

Sex is an important part of a loving relationship - one way we can tell our partner (without words) our feelings.

I have been both places - sterile LTR (marriage) and one where sex is a part of our lives. The latter beats the hell out of the former.

 

[Xander]

Sex is definately not everything in a relationship. But yes I think it's very important. A higher degree of intimacy simply doesn't exist.