If you could sit down with your child(ren).....

[Ishmael]

and give them the best advice you've learned from life..........what would it be?

You can respond with one-liners if you choose, but I think life's a little more complicated than that.

Ishmael

 

[Bert Notorius]

i took the grandkids to their first fireworks tonight. best night i've had since i don't know when. i think there is still time to help them. my kids are on autopilot.

i'm no good with money. all the good things that have happened to me were mostly by luck. i guess, love your family because no one else really gives a shit.

 

[warrior queen]

Never give a damn what 'people' think of you.
Five years from now, no-one is going to be having a conversation that goes like this..... "Remember 5 years ago when we saw that crazy stranger doing such-and-such?"

 

[Ishmael]

#1. Choose your mate for life wisely. If you do he/she will be your partner and of infinite value as you make your way through the minefield of life. Choose unwisely and you're going to learn a very expensive lesson.

Ishmael

 

[StrayKat]

I can sit down with my children but I mostly give them advice when they ask for it.
At this moment I would probably tell my younger daughter her health is more important than a career. Or to my older one that she doesnt really have to finish her studies as best in her class. But they both know that already and in all truth I am proud they are just the way they are.
I think my kids turned out much better than I did.
Maybe they could give me an advice or two.

 

[CandiCame]

What reason is there that you'd can't do that? I try to do that several times a day when I can.

 

[Ishmael]

#2. Teach your children to play real cards at the earliest age possible. They'll learn math by osmosis. Cards are not just a game, they're a lesson in business. How and when to take calculated risks and how to 'read' the other player(s). After they've learned the rules, show no mercy. If you do so then you're just cheating and they'll catch on and do the same. And they'll have no sense of accomplishment when they finally kick your ass.

Ishmael

 

[CandiCame]

I can sit down with my children but I mostly give them advice when they ask for it.
At this moment I would probably tell my younger daughter her health is more important than a career. Or to my older one that she doesnt really have to finish her studies as best in her class. But they both know that already and in all truth I am proud they are just the way they are.
I think my kids turned out much better than I did.
Maybe they could give me an advice or two.

That sounds complicated. At this point mine's still as simple as, "Don't eat moths- you know what, they're probably ok." She's not really tried to do shit that people warn you about. She's showed no desire to poke around in power sockets or anything. And she tends to just give in really easily. Like if she has something dangerous you can just be like, "Hey give me that" and then she does.

Also, I think that she's pretty badass as far as pain tolerance because she seems to just... not think about it unless you notice. She can smash her face into a table and just completely not give a shit. So 'don't try to pull up on shit that you'll hit your head on' is something else we probably need to work on. Because she seems to just badass through pain instead of learning through it. Which my mom says I also did. I really hope she hasn't inherited my "not learning from mistakes" gene. In fact, I hope that's not genetic. For anyone.

 

[StrayKat]

That sounds complicated. At this point mine's still as simple as, "Don't eat moths- you know what, they're probably ok." She's not really tried to do shit that people warn you about. She's showed no desire to poke around in power sockets or anything. And she tends to just give in really easily. Like if she has something dangerous you can just be like, "Hey give me that" and then she does.

Also, I think that she's pretty badass as far as pain tolerance because she seems to just... not think about it unless you notice. She can smash her face into a table and just completely not give a shit. So 'don't try to pull up on shit that you'll hit your head on' is something else we probably need to work on. Because she seems to just badass through pain instead of learning through it. Which my mom says I also did. I really hope she hasn't inherited my "not learning from mistakes" gene. In fact, I hope that's not genetic. For anyone.

I guess it does get a bit more complicated as they grow up.

My kids are 25 and 28, a bit past the "smashing a face into table" phase

 

[CandiCame]

I guess it does get a bit more complicated as they grow up.

My kids are 25 and 28, a bit past the "smashing a face into table" phase

I'm pretty sure I'll still be smashing my face into the table at 21.

Little bitty kids are cool to watch because stuff is still new and everything is still awesome. The novelty of living hasn't worn off. They always learn stuff, most of their time is spent learning stuff. Much of it seems to revolve around fucking with me.

I think, "Don't rip fucking metal out of people's faces" is something she needs explained, but I'm afraid to tell her that because if she ever gets in a fight she might need to know.

Oh god- "Don't listen to your grandmother". She needs to know that. Which I think could be expanded into, "Watch who you listen to. Don't believe shit just because someone tells you. Don't listen to me, even. You've got Google. People lie for no reason whatsoever and are also frequently stupid."

 

[Ishmael]

#3. Demand instant obedience from your children. Especially before the age of seven. The last thing you want to see is your child arguing with you in the middle of the street after you've said, "Come here" while the auto they didn't notice runs them down. The other side of that is knowing when to let go and by how much. Like you, every child is different and this is something I can't help you with. You didn't come with a set of instructions and neither will your children.

Ishmael

 

[Bidin~Time]

Every family has some degree of dysfunction, however, if the person you are interested in has nothing good to say about their family; if they are disrespectful and inconsiderate towards their family (and their family towards them), They will be incapable of respecting you, and being considerate towards you. If you are looking for love, know that without respect there can be no love. Walk. Away. Without exception. Walk away. They are drama, trouble, and heartache waiting to happen.

 

[nowisthetime]

1. Always be careful with money, keep excellent credit because great credit can lead to awesome deals on cars and mortgage loan approval. I learned this from Mom and Dad regarding the proper use of money.

2. Coming as immigrants to the country, they taught me the value of education. An education will open more doors for you in life. No one can take that away from you. I will pass on that advice to my children.

3. I will teach my children not to give a damn what anyone thinks of them, especially if she is a girl. Always keep your head up high and know that you are not inferior, you are lovable, and never to settle for less than what you deserve. There are lots of idiots out there who are willing to drag folks down, don't listen to the negative energy.

 

[Ishmael]

#4. Be the best at whatever you choose to be. And if you ever are in a position to direct others, demand the same. Don't involve yourself in office politics. You are going to get burned by the politicians at least once. But if you're the best you'll always have a job or your business. Those who know how to make quality buggy whips, draft horse harnesses, cedar chests. ceramic tile are still doing well today. The best of anything never goes out of style.

Ishmael

 

[CandiCame]

#3. Demand instant obedience from your children. Especially before the age of seven. The last thing you want to see is your child arguing with you in the middle of the street after you've said, "Come here" while the auto they didn't notice runs them down. The other side of that is knowing when to let go and by how much. Like you, every child is different and this is something I can't help you with. You didn't come with a set of instructions and neither will your children.

Ishmael

Why would you even be talking at that point? That's a 'go grab them' point. We evolved to pump out extra adrenaline when our kids are in trouble for that exact reason; so we can get to them before the predator (or car or whatever) gets them. My kid doesn't need to be obedient. Not to me. I'm a goddamn idiot. Karmaloff-Smith has proven that children are capable of concrete thought as young as 3 months; she can get cause and effect. So she doesn't need to think daddy is infallible. She gets that in her head she's gonna pick up my life threatening habits instead of telling me to fuck off. Kid needs to be able to tell me to fuck off. She needs to be able to say shit like, "Dad you know that cigarette causes cancer," or, "Dad you drink that you might as well be pouring acid on your teeth," or, "Dad you're on fire/about to electrocute yourself/ gonna get eaten by a gator". Demanding absolute, authoritarian obedience stifles creative and critical thinking skills. It either causes dependency or brooding hate. They need to learn awareness, respect, and critical thinking, not obedience. She's not a pet.

 

[Ishmael]

Why would you even be talking at that point? That's a 'go grab them' point. We evolved to pump out extra adrenaline when our kids are in trouble for that exact reason; so we can get to them before the predator (or car or whatever) gets them. My kid doesn't need to be obedient. Not to me. I'm a goddamn idiot. Karmaloff-Smith has proven that children are capable of concrete thought as young as 3 months; she can get cause and effect. So she doesn't need to think daddy is infallible. She gets that in her head she's gonna pick up my life threatening habits instead of telling me to fuck off. Kid needs to be able to tell me to fuck off. She needs to be able to say shit like, "Dad you know that cigarette causes cancer," or, "Dad you drink that you might as well be pouring acid on your teeth," or, "Dad you're on fire/about to electrocute yourself/ gonna get eaten by a gator". Demanding absolute, authoritarian obedience stifles creative and critical thinking skills. It either causes dependency or brooding hate. They need to learn awareness, respect, and critical thinking, not obedience. She's not a pet.

Nothing like a "mother and child" catastrophe to make the news.

Ishmael

 

[CandiCame]

Nothing like a "mother and child" catastrophe to make the news.

Ishmael

What?

 

[nowisthetime]

It's good to instill discipline in your children as early as possible before it's too late. Starting at age 2 and being consistent. That would make parenting easier and that would make the teacher's life easier.

 

[Ishmael]

What?

How long will it take you to run to the street, pick up the child, and run back? As opposed to the notion that the child responds and runs to you?

This is about common sense to convey to your children, not about you.

Ishmael

 

[Passthebeer]

Wait I have a kid ? I never knew .....I guess I'd say good luck wrap it it up and invest wisely and save up for retirement

 

[CandiCame]

How long will it take you to run to the street, pick up the child, and run back? As opposed to the notion that the child responds and runs to you?

This is about common sense to convey to your children, not about you.

Ishmael

I'm significantly faster. She's a little kid. My legs are longer, my stride is wider, my muscles are more developed... I can outrun her easy. Pretty sure I could beat her in a brawl too. I just, you know, don't. Hell, at this point she can't run. She'd be fucked if I stopped and waited on her to come to me.

 

[Ishmael]

I'm significantly faster. She's a little kid. My legs are longer, my stride is wider, my muscles are more developed... I can outrun her easy. Pretty sure I could beat her in a brawl too. I just, you know, don't. Hell, at this point she can't run. She'd be fucked if I stopped and waited on her to come to me.

It's NOT about you. Get over it.

Ishmael

 

[CandiCame]

It's good to instill discipline in your children as early as possible before it's too late. Starting at age 2 and being consistent. That would make parenting easier and that would make the teacher's life easier.

Yes. Discipline and obedience are different things. My kid is well behaved. She's not obedient.

But, in all honesty, she's too little for even discipline and I'm kinda hoping her mom just does most of that and I support her. Like she's the congress and I'm the judicial branch and shit, she makes up the rules and I enforce them to the best of my ability, using logic and those presetablished rules on a case by case basis. Because I can't really recognize and control my own vices, let alone someone else's.

 

[CandiCame]

It's NOT about you. Get over it.

Ishmael

Any able bodied adult is faster than a small child!

 

[Ishmael]

Any able bodied adult is faster than a small child!

This whole notion is just flying over your head, isn't dear? As well as logic. If the child is running towards you the distance is shorter.

Let's start with a simple premise. Your job as a parent is to prepare the child for life without you, not to be the perpetual safety net. Statistically you are going to die before your child so what is the point of not preparing them for life without you?

You've jumped to the defensive as if I've accused you of being a bad mother when in reality all I've asked in this thread is for the readers to think.

My little 'rules' are my own. If they make sense fine, if not then argue the merits. Don't come at me like "Superwoman to the rescue" bull shit. You aren't superwoman and I'm not superman. And neither of us can live our children's lives for them.

The subject is advice you would give your child. The unsaid premise is that they're at least mature enough to understand you, even if they think you're full of shit (and they will for a time).

And here you are trying to play 'Mother of the Year' even though that has nothing to do with the subject.

Get Over It

Ishmael