How do you help someone get over being abused

[kikmosa]

Thankyou to everyone who posted their wishes for me & I will try to be here more now till I have to go for the other operation next Wed & hope it will be a short stay again.

Gentle hugs and best wishes for a quick recovery.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Gentle hugs and best wishes for a quick recovery.

Hi Kiki . . . great to see your post . . .

. . . see Bandit? . . . GENTLE cuddles . . .

 

[Bandit58]

Hi Kiki . . . great to see your post . . .

. . . see Bandit? . . . GENTLE cuddles . . .

Oh Don......I am being very gentle.....

 

[kikmosa]

 

[Gil_T2]

 

[kikmosa]

Mmmmmmmm........
(Hope your feeling better)

 

[Don K Dyck]

Mmmmmmmm........
(Hope your feeling better)

Hi Kiki . . . must be the after shave that attracts the ladies . . . must ask Gil what he uses . . . <or maybe it is just sex appeal -- give generously> . . .

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi Kiki . . . must be the after shave that attracts the ladies . . . must ask Gil what he uses . . . <or maybe it is just sex appeal -- give generously> . . .

All I can put it down to is being open & honest DON.

 

[kikmosa]

Hi Kiki . . . must be the after shave that attracts the ladies . . . must ask Gil what he uses . . . <or maybe it is just sex appeal -- give generously> . . .

Now Delightly Delicious Don, you attract a fair share of the ladies too.

 

[Don K Dyck]

<BUMP> for the benefit of people from the Battered Men thread on the GB . . .

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Aloha! I just wanted to stop by, although briefly, and say "hello" to everyone. It's good to hear you're home again Gil with Bandit's TLC. I wish you the best and a speedy recovery in your upcoming surgery.

I'm still awaiting clearance for the surgery and keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen in 9 days. Until then I spend my time resting and dealing with the ups and downs of daily life.

Take care everyone and until again Aloha",
shadow

 

[Bandit58]

Hi shadow great to see you hon
Fingers crossed that you get your operation when they say you will.....Gil has to phone this evening to make sure there's still a bed for him for tomorrow, which could be difficult seeing he will be in the damn hospital hooked up to a dialysis machine at the time they want him to ring

Hopefully after this there will be a breathing space between dramas!

 

[Gil_T2]

Aloha! I just wanted to stop by, although briefly, and say "hello" to everyone. It's good to hear you're home again Gil with Bandit's TLC. I wish you the best and a speedy recovery in your upcoming surgery.

I'm still awaiting clearance for the surgery and keeping my fingers crossed that it will happen in 9 days. Until then I spend my time resting and dealing with the ups and downs of daily life.

Take care everyone and until again Aloha",
shadow

Alas if you read BANDIT's post about having to ring to confirm the operation I'm told it likely won't happen but I still have to nil by mouth from midnight & turn up at the ward & wait....
like I'm not already stressing big time now as operations & just being in hospital stress me out all this only adds to it all. I'm not happy at all & it's doing little to ease BANDIT's worries either.

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi shadow great to see you hon
Fingers crossed that you get your operation when they say you will.....Gil has to phone this evening to make sure there's still a bed for him for tomorrow, which could be difficult seeing he will be in the damn hospital hooked up to a dialysis machine at the time they want him to ring

Hopefully after this there will be a breathing space between dramas!

You sure have had more than either of us deserve since you moved here. & as soon as I'm back to where I was before all this I have to make it up to you too.

 

[Bandit58]

You sure have had more than either of us deserve since you moved here. & as soon as I'm back to where I was before all this I have to make it up to you too.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Gil_T2
Alas if you read BANDIT's post about having to ring to confirm the operation I'm told it likely won't happen but I still have to nil by mouth from midnight & turn up at the ward & wait....
like I'm not already stressing big time now as operations & just being in hospital stress me out all this only adds to it all. I'm not happy at all & it's doing little to ease BANDIT's worries either.

I know how the stress can build and having to await surgery and being in the hospital. It also does not help our SO's although they tend to tell us ""they're fine and only concerned about our welfare" yet deep down inside they are just as, if not more, stressed than we are.

I'm beyond stressed and frustrated and try to keep up a facade with others and trying to not let them know how I feel inside with this waiting and dealing with the ever increasing pain, having to now add heart meds to my regime (now they're trying to slow down my heart rate although I've always had a rather fast/rapid heart rate since I was a child - go figure why now ) and the inability to live a somewhat normal life. The days are so long but at least the nights, when my SO is home, I'm not totally confined to bed with allowances only to take a short walk to and from the loo and kitchen (and the parlor if I want to have a cig). He takes me for a short ride, walks with me down to the store when I feel strong enough to which is very rare lately to just let me see people and the sunshine, lol.

I hope things go smoothly and you don't have to wait any. Take care and give Bandit my love too. I've overstayed my time and will say aloha to everyone until I receive word from my doctor which will be on the 9th.

Love and Aloha,
shadow

 

[Bandit58]

Just to let everyone know Gil did get his op today, he went into theatre at 12.40pm our time. Will update you all later *Hugs to shadow*

 

[Noor]

Just to let everyone know Gil did get his op today, he went into theatre at 12.40pm our time. Will update you all later *Hugs to shadow*

Fingers crossed.

Noor

 

[Bandit58]

Gil came through his op well, a bit sore and sick last night but to be expected, I'm going to see him today and he hopes to be home in the next few days

 

[peaceharmony57]

abuse

I have also spoken to men that have been and are being abused. I myself am female... I am the abusee... Emotional gymnastics here... and I can't seem to get out.. Sorry for the posting.. but yeah... love patience and empathy surely help...

Peaceee

 

[Bandit58]

Re: abuse

I have also spoken to men that have been and are being abused. I myself am female... I am the abusee... Emotional gymnastics here... and I can't seem to get out.. Sorry for the posting.. but yeah... love patience and empathy surely help...

Peaceee

Don't be sorry, that's what this thread is here for......
You say you can't get out......for your physical and mental health you have to - as Don K says there is NO excuse for physical or emotional abuse. I do know how hard it is, it took me many years to find the courage to leave. Just one putdown and snide remark too many and I was out of there.

It did affect me both physically and mentally, I had had a stress related stomach ulcer and was depressed. It was like a great weight had come off my shoulders when I finally left. Even though I had to turn around and make a new life for myself, and it was a very scary prospect at the time, I know now that I'm a much stronger person than I gave myself credit for, and I'm still learning about that part of me.

Please feel free to post again, ask questions or vent, there are a lot of good people who pop in here and most of us have been through some form of abuse. We know where you're coming from

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Bandit58
Gil came through his op well, a bit sore and sick last night but to be expected, I'm going to see him today and he hopes to be home in the next few days

((((HUGS BANDIT & GIL))))

Wishing Gil a speedy recovery and tell him he's in my thoughts and prayers as well as you too Bandit!

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Re: abuse

Originally posted by peaceharmony57
I have also spoken to men that have been and are being abused. I myself am female... I am the abusee... Emotional gymnastics here... and I can't seem to get out.. Sorry for the posting.. but yeah... love patience and empathy surely help...

Peaceee

Like Bandit said, "Don't be sorry, that's what this thread is here for..."

Peace please send me an e-mail (if you still have my address) or a pm...I haven't heard from you in awhile and I know what you're going through. It is a difficult journey and an emotional one at that. We have all been through what you are going through and some, like you, are still experiencing things no one should be put through.

Like Bandit I had very bad ulcers that were bleeding due to emotional stress and from seeking comfort from alcohol. Once I found the courage and strength to stop the madness of the abuse I began to heal. I had a lot of help from my bf who gave me the support and encouragement to continue on and not give up and to face my fears of starting over again. If it were not for him and the newfound family/friends on this thread I would honestly not be here today.

It takes time to heal and the strength to take one step forward each day. I admit I find myself dwelling on "what if it happens again?" and all the other questions then I spiral into a bout of depression. Luckily my bf knows me well enough to see in my eyes as well as my actions that something is not right and he gently guides me back by reassuring me and letting me get my feelings and tears out..

Please pm me or e-mail me Peace. I would like to catch up with you since we last e-mailed one another.

Take care and I hope to hear from you,
shadow

 

[Gil_T2]

I know how the stress can build and having to await surgery and being in the hospital. It also does not help our SO's although they tend to tell us ""they're fine and only concerned about our welfare" yet deep down inside they are just as, if not more, stressed than we are.

I'm beyond stressed and frustrated and try to keep up a facade with others and trying to not let them know how I feel inside with this waiting and dealing with the ever increasing pain, having to now add heart meds to my regime (now they're trying to slow down my heart rate although I've always had a rather fast/rapid heart rate since I was a child - go figure why now ) and the inability to live a somewhat normal life. The days are so long but at least the nights, when my SO is home, I'm not totally confined to bed with allowances only to take a short walk to and from the loo and kitchen (and the parlor if I want to have a cig). He takes me for a short ride, walks with me down to the store when I feel strong enough to which is very rare lately to just let me see people and the sunshine, lol.

I hope things go smoothly and you don't have to wait any. Take care and give Bandit my love too. I've overstayed my time and will say aloha to everyone until I receive word from my doctor which will be on the 9th.

Love and Aloha,
shadow

I do tend to stress more than most with my poor health & because of seeing so many who have had ops & recieved STAF infections which further complicate things, every op has it's risks & I guess I just hate hospitals.I also stress becuse this is not how I wanted my life to be with BANDIT who has had more than her fair share to deal with.

 

[Gil_T2]

Re: abuse

I have also spoken to men that have been and are being abused. I myself am female... I am the abusee... Emotional gymnastics here... and I can't seem to get out.. Sorry for the posting.. but yeah... love patience and empathy surely help...

Peaceee

I hope you do contact SD or you can PM almost any of us here as we are here to be an ear for you to help you through the abuse your suffering.