How do you help someone get over being abused

[Gil_T2]

LOL mine's pretty static at the moment But not too worried, because I can see my body shape has changed (and Gil keeps perving on me so can't be all bad!!)

Hey I've seen you admiring your hard work in the full length mirror with a big grin on your face & as for the perving you know I always have perved on you after all I AM YOU GREATEST ADMIRER

 

[mortalwombat]

(and Gil keeps perving on me so can't be all bad!!)

if i had the chance i'd be doing the same!

 

[Gil_T2]

if i had the chance i'd be doing the same!

I believed you did at the G&G

 

[Gil_T2]

BUMP

Just so the thread is insight.

 

[Bandit58]

BUMP

Just so the thread is insight.

BUMP again, for anyone who needs help

 

[kandie]

I have been abused in every way imaginable. Not just by my mom and step dad, but by my first husband, as well as a boyfriend. If it was not for my faith, my kids, family, friends, and therapy, I would be a basket case. One way I found that helped me cope with things was to write. I have written some poetry and stoies about it that are posted here. The story, A new begining, is one which is about the abuse I endured and how I recovered from it. http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=115078

I also started writing a journal. It started out as a healing process, and its now 50 chapters long. I plan to edit it with help and maybe find a way to publish it. Two of my therapists have read it and says its very good and would be helpful for those who thing there is no way out of abuse and no way to move on.

I am now happily remaried and have put the past behind me. I'm stronger then I ever was and try now to help those women who say, "I can't do it on my own."

 

[kandie]

Letting Go

In the stillness of the night when all is dark and peaceful,
I sit quietly listening to the raindrops on the window pane.

Sleep avoids me for the moment, my heart tender and full.
As I listen to the rhythmic rain, my tears release my pain.

Why do I cry when my life is filled with joy and happiness.
For I have stood steadfast thru the storm and survived.

Once again, I can experience peace, love, joy and happiness.
So why do I sit quietly crying when this day has arrived.

I cry because everything I have loved in my past has hurt me.
They left me crying, standing alone with no one to lean on.

When I gave you my heart in time, you broke it and abused me.
My life was shattered and my spirit broken, how can I go on?

My love is lying next to me, he holds the key to my heart.
He holds me tight and whispers, "Cry let go of the pain."

He says, he will never destroy my spirit or break my heart.
He and God will help me let go of the past and the pain.

* * * *

Tonight I sit here watching the rain hitting the window pane.
I cry again, this time from pain that no person has caused..

One sunny afternoon a drunk driver destroyed my whole world.
Now with the simplest of task often I say, "I cannot, because.

Pain, my constant companion now messes up my well laid plans.
I wanted to walk outside, but when I moved, the pain yelled no!

I look out my window and watch a Robin and utter a prayer.
Oh Jesus, help me to rely on my faith when my pain says "NO!"

For faith has carried me along life pathway and made me strong.
Now in the midst of my pain, I pray, “Please ease my pain God!”

On those days when my pain makes my faith to falter and wane.
May my friends be near praying, “Help me to ease her pain, God!”

 

[kandie]

“Shattered Hearts and Broken Wings”
By Kandie

She looked at the pieces of her broken heart scattered across the ground.
To her, love would always be forever, until the end of time and beyond.
Oh, what did he do when she surrendered all and gave him her heart?
He took all and left her with nothing and now she felt unable to carry on.

She was his angel, until he mistreated her and broke her wings this time.
Oh, how could he rip her feathers out one at a time so she could not fly?
She bowed her head and prayed, “Oh my God, what did I do this time?”
She tried to sort thing out and when she could not she begin to cry.

Oh, if I had only loved him more I know this would not have happened!
Maybe I was too selfish and really did not pay enough attention to him.
Before long, she convinced herself that she caused everything to happen.
Then deep in her soul her spirit said, “You did your best to love him. “

She stopped blaming herself and realized sometimes love is not enough.
Many things can go wrong and when it does, there are two hearts broken.
It was then she realized the passion was lost and her love was not enough.
When love is lost, God replaces things lost and mends what was broken.

 

[Babee_girl]

********

 

[Babee_girl]

*********

 

[Bandit58]

Everyone has been very kind to me, considering how rude and obnoxious I was on other threads. I am going into intense therapy to take care of me and it will be awhile until I feel like chatting on this forum or online. So, I have however decided to take my profile off of here and the story site. Mainly because it's going to be awhile until I get my life back together. That way when and if I decide to return, my life and emotions will be back on track. Hugs Amanda.

Good luck with the therapy Amanda I hope I see you back online when you feel ready

 

[m.j.h]

Everyone has been very kind to me, considering how rude and obnoxious I was on other threads. I am going into intense therapy to take care of me and it will be awhile until I feel like chatting on this forum or online. So, I have however decided to take my profile off of here and the story site. Mainly because it's going to be awhile until I get my life back together. That way when and if I decide to return, my life and emotions will be back on track. Hugs Amanda.

What Bandit said.

And hey don't worry about the other thread. They all understand and are just fine with you so if you do decide to hang around please do so in the other thread as well okay. Or at least pop in and let us know how you are going.

And good luck with it all, Hope it isn't to intense for you.
See you next time okay.

 

[kandie]

Howdy everyone!

It's one of those nights where I cannot sleep and my Fibromyalgia is yelling at me. So I'm surfing and trying to stay out of mischief...of course it always follows me around. LOL XOX.

PS: I will keep you posted about babee_girl.

 

[kandie]

BUMP again, for anyone who needs help

Hi Bandit58! I am glad there is a place here where we can seek solace. Even though my abuse basically ended in Dec 1998, I still feel the affects now and then. I not to even date again as men was not worth it. Men were always mean to me, my step dad-ran away and got married to get away from him. 1st hubby was abusive in every way, ran into the arms of another man thinking he gave me what I needed. 2nd turned out to not able to help me with anything and was emotional abusive (to me that is worse.) He abandoned me at my sisters. You think I would stop dating etc etc. SO I decided to just have a b/f, and after 2 yrs he turned abusive.

THAT WAS IT........I no longer needed or wanted anyone in my life, especially men. As for family--they blamed me calling me everything from a whore to a loser. I have ignored most of them and will only talk to a few of them now. THEY are the losers. They lost me.

It was not until therapy taught me that I was choosing my men the wrong way. I was trying to satisfy the hurt left from the past relationship. I was not dealing with it and learning to leave it be and move on. The hardest thing for this nurse to do was learn "Not All Things Can Be Fixed."

My present hubby took me out to eat when I called him a "Damn Phony." He said basically, "Let me prove it. I'll take you out to dinner in a busy restaurant and do nothing else. If you still feel that way, then I will go home and you win."

Short version, He was no phony. He was understanding, a good listener, and just accepted me like I am, flaws included. He showed me how to love and trust again, we were married May5th, 2006. It is the best thing I have ever done.

So now if anyone tells me there is no life after abuse, I asked them why? Then tell them my story. Take care everyone. {{{{{HHHUUUGGGEERRRSSS}}}}}

 

[Gil_T2]

Bumping this thread to the top just in case it's needed.

 

[Noor]

Bump bump bump

Hi Gil and Bandit!!!

 

[Bandit58]

I had a dream last night.....my ex was trying to get into the house I was in (it was my mum & dad's old house) and I was trying to lock him out, but he came through the window. The difference between this and other dreams I've had about him, is that I wasn't afraid. Instead, I was hugely pissed off......hopefully this is a sign that I am healing

 

[Noor]

I had a dream last night.....my ex was trying to get into the house I was in (it was my mum & dad's old house) and I was trying to lock him out, but he came through the window. The difference between this and other dreams I've had about him, is that I wasn't afraid. Instead, I was hugely pissed off......hopefully this is a sign that I am healing

Yeah Bandit!!! Sounds like a good sign.

 

[kikmosa]

Bump........

 

[sweet_marie]

Hello after about 2 years!

Hello To all
Haven't been on this forum for nearly two years, but you've been on my mind off and on that whole time believe it or not. You all were such a wonderful find when I was on here more, I was truly in need of help and community and you guys really were there for me. I have been dancing and making healthy friends and have lost 40 pounds since I talked to you last. Been writing stories, almost graduated from college (next spring) and am qualiifed to buy a house and am looking....which is a pain in the neck. I'm going into occupational therapy using horses to help children with autism, cerebral palsy or who have suffered abuse to learn to connect and communicate and grow healthy......and after I get some experience under my belt, I'm going to start in on the adults, including war vets.

So, I guess I just wanted to say that you are all so special, especially Bandit and Gil who keep this going (and with whom I'm most familiar, I know there's other regular's too, and thanks to you guys as well). I can say that I'm a success story....well working on it a bit more every day.

I just wanted to say hi and warm hugs to all...and thanks again for all your support through that awful time.

Many Blessings
Sweet Marie

 

[Virgin Man]

Congratulations

Hello To all
Haven't been on this forum for nearly two years, but you've been on my mind off and on that whole time believe it or not. You all were such a wonderful find when I was on here more, I was truly in need of help and community and you guys really were there for me. I have been dancing and making healthy friends and have lost 40 pounds since I talked to you last. Been writing stories, almost graduated from college (next spring) and am qualiifed to buy a house and am looking....which is a pain in the neck. I'm going into occupational therapy using horses to help children with autism, cerebral palsy or who have suffered abuse to learn to connect and communicate and grow healthy......and after I get some experience under my belt, I'm going to start in on the adults, including war vets.

So, I guess I just wanted to say that you are all so special, especially Bandit and Gil who keep this going (and with whom I'm most familiar, I know there's other regular's too, and thanks to you guys as well). I can say that I'm a success story....well working on it a bit more every day.

I just wanted to say hi and warm hugs to all...and thanks again for all your support through that awful time.

Many Blessings
Sweet Marie

Sweet Marie: Congratulations on your recovery. Its heartwarming to hear. Good luck to you.

 

[Gil_T2]

BUMP

Just so the thread is insight.

BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]P,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP.



Just so the thread is insight.

 

[tanijaana]

I'll be going through the responses in this thread later today after I get some rest. I am still dealing with one situation in particular from my childhood where I had the perfect opportunity to turn in my father for what he was doing to me and my sister and I lied to protect him. Kind of hard for me to accept the "you were just a child and couldn't do anything" response because I knew exactly what I was doing at the time and that it was the wrong thing to do, but I still did it just so I wouldn't get another beating...

 

[Gil_T2]

I'll be going through the responses in this thread later today after I get some rest. I am still dealing with one situation in particular from my childhood where I had the perfect opportunity to turn in my father for what he was doing to me and my sister and I lied to protect him. Kind of hard for me to accept the "you were just a child and couldn't do anything" response because I knew exactly what I was doing at the time and that it was the wrong thing to do, but I still did it just so I wouldn't get another beating...

Fear is a powerful motivator as you'll discover when you read this thread as so many have stayed & put up with all kinds of abuse because they were scared of the consequences, this is how the abusers keep their control if the abused didn't have this fear there wouldn't be any abuse as no one would fear the reprisal.

 

[Gil_T2]

BUMP

Just so the thread is insight.

BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]P,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]P,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BI]BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,[/I]UMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP,BUMP



Just so the thread is insight.