How do you get this point across?

[brunhilda]

Grrr, I'm having a dilemma.

There aren't a whole lot of kids in our immediate neighborhood. There is one little girl, though, that my kids play with a lot. She's about their age, and seems like a sweetheart. She doesn't speak any English at all (her family is Mexican), but my kids don't seem to mind at all. They play together and seem to communicate ok.

The problem is, when they have a dispute (as kids do), my kids always end up being the ones who have to bend, because I can't talk to the little girl to work out a compromise.

Example: They were all playing with these two strollers (there are three little girls and two strollers), and suddenly I hear two of the girls (including the little girl who speaks Spanish) screaming and crying and fighting right outside the door. I go outside, and it's an argument about not sharing. Now, I know that the other little girl has had the toy for a while, and normally I would talk to the two of them and get them to share. Thing is, I can't talk to her. So I try to convince my daughter to let her play with it, and when she won't, I bring her inside for a time out.

Really that's not fair, though, because she's been taught that she should share, and the other little girl isn't.

How do I make them understand? I need to either figure out how to communicate with the other little girl that she needs to share (and I've tried, she doesn't speak a word of english, and doesn't seem to understand when I tried to explain through actions), or else I need to explain to my kids why I'm not making her share.

Suggestions?!?

 

[Blindinthedark]

Grrr, I'm having a dilemma.

There aren't a whole lot of kids in our immediate neighborhood. There is one little girl, though, that my kids play with a lot. She's about their age, and seems like a sweetheart. She doesn't speak any English at all (her family is Mexican), but my kids don't seem to mind at all. They play together and seem to communicate ok.

The problem is, when they have a dispute (as kids do), my kids always end up being the ones who have to bend, because I can't talk to the little girl to work out a compromise.

Example: They were all playing with these two strollers (there are three little girls and two strollers), and suddenly I hear two of the girls (including the little girl who speaks Spanish) screaming and crying and fighting right outside the door. I go outside, and it's an argument about not sharing. Now, I know that the other little girl has had the toy for a while, and normally I would talk to the two of them and get them to share. Thing is, I can't talk to her. So I try to convince my daughter to let her play with it, and when she won't, I bring her inside for a time out.

Really that's not fair, though, because she's been taught that she should share, and the other little girl isn't.

How do I make them understand? I need to either figure out how to communicate with the other little girl that she needs to share (and I've tried, she doesn't speak a word of english, and doesn't seem to understand when I tried to explain through actions), or else I need to explain to my kids why I'm not making her share.

Suggestions?!?

Use body language as best you can. It's amazing what people understand through body language.

 

[estevie]

Her parents? Do they live close? Are you watching this little girl? Who is in charge?

I would start with the parents, if she doesn't understand English..what if something happens and you need to tell her to run or move quickly because a big truck is coming or whatever, ya know what I'm saying? Maybe they can teach you some basic words so you can communicate with her.

Good luck!

 

[ozraven]

Her parents? Do they live close? Are you watching this little girl? Who is in charge?

I would start with the parents, if she doesn't understand English..what if something happens and you need to tell her to run or move quickly because a big truck is coming or whatever, ya know what I'm saying? Maybe they can teach you some basic words so you can communicate with her.

Good luck!

Beat me to it (again), parents are the first approach.

Are they old enough for school or preschool yet?

Kids learn new languages incredibly quickly, don't be surprised if within a couple of months she speaks as good english as your own kids.....

Good on you for thinking about it, but really kids don't actually want parents to resolve their complaints, they just want a friendly umpire, they will work it out......

 

[sensational204]

I find it hard to believe that she doesn't understand ANY english. How long has she been here?

Well even if she doesn't, like blind said, body language can say a lot. And if she doesn't speak any english, then that's just as paramount for her to learn as are the life lessons of sharing or conduct. So at the same time that you teach her the concept of sharing, teach her the word also.

 

[freakygirl]

I'll bet she can understand english.. but is smart enough to pretend not to.. Kids are amazing. They know how to get their way.

 

[*Eve*]

Kids learn new languages incredibly quickly, don't be surprised if within a couple of months she speaks as good english as your own kids.....

I really wouldn't be surprised if she speaks english now, but is pretending that she doesn't. You would be surprised just how smart kids are. The language barrier should have nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't speak english. Selfish kids are bred all over the world. You may want to enroll your kids in the local recreation center so that can make new friends.

 

[brunhilda]

I don't have any idea how much english her parents speak, but it isn't much. They can say hi. They understood when my kids asked the little girl's name. But there's not much more than that there.

She's around four or five, and my son is picking up her language, but I have never heard a word of english out of her mouth.

 

[markb325]

Just to point one thing out. I live in a very large Hispanic Neighborhood and a good portion of the children do not understand english. Part of the problem is the schools prefer to cater to them and teach them in spanish.

 

[brunhilda]

Yeah, they're not in school yet, anyway. I really don't think she's covering anything.

It's really cool that my kids are picking up Spanish from her, I'm just frustrated because she really is being a brat, and it feels like there's not much I can do about it!

 

[bknight2602]

I find it hard to believe that she doesn't understand ANY english. How long has she been here?

Well even if she doesn't, like blind said, body language can say a lot. And if she doesn't speak any english, then that's just as paramount for her to learn as are the life lessons of sharing or conduct. So at the same time that you teach her the concept of sharing, teach her the word also.

Oh from where I am I can believe. Just try to pick up a few spanish words that will get the thought across. Go to spanish/english translation and pick up something.

 

[brunhilda]

Oh from where I am I can believe. Just try to pick up a few spanish words that will get the thought across. Go to spanish/english translation and pick up something.

I have done that a little to teach my kids to talk to her, maybe I'll have to find the word for "share," lol.

Darn it, and I took French in high school.

 

[LadyAura]

I'm a teacher and I guarantee she understands a great deal about what you are trying to get across to her. Ask the kids how they would like to solve the problem. Give suggestions or help them work out a plan and let them take care of it. It sounds like the kids can communicate enough to play together and can probably work out a problem together. Try turning the ownership of the problem over to the children and see what happens. Timers are great for taking turns also. Good luck!

 

[April]

Send her home. She'll get the idea soon enough.

 

[LadyAura]

I just tought of something else. I have noticed that it takes English as a second language students months and even years to become fluent english speakers. This doesn't mean that she can't understand what is being spoken to her, it is just too difficult for her to speak to you. I had a child who did not speak for an entire 6 months and then started speaking non-stop in understandable English.
Pictures work great to help children in general understand concepts etc. Maybe you could find a simple picture book about sharing or show her what you mean by acting out an example using key words. Hope this helps.

 

[LadyAura]

Send her home. She'll get the idea soon enough.

Actions do speak louder than words.

 

[Blazes B.]

Is she an only child? Maybe the concept of sharing is more foreign than the language. Or maybe she's from a large family and always gets the short end of the stick--until now.

Idle speculations, that's all.