Game - private question, public answer

[MrJogger]

A two part question, so anal sex for part one and period sex for part two.

 

[BrendaBear]

First you have to pick one that's the right size for you. Best to stack you hands and measure for the beat length. Too short and your fingers will be too crowded when playing, too long and your fingers will have to stretch to reach all the areas.

Next to get the stuff wood just a little wet - don't worry it will get much wetter later - lick both sides and apply pressure before twisting it into place. Once you're all ready, plant your feet, wrap your lips around your teeth and BLOW.

Don't worry if it doesn't make the noise you want at first. You will need lots of practice and in my experience there will be at least a little drool on the floor at the end.

Playing a woodwind?

 

[BrendaBear]

That was one of the funniest questions and definitely the weirdest.

And I would pass on both options. In fact, I would rather to never have sex again if those were my only options.

 

[muddler35]

Start with texture. Does it feel firm but supple to your touch. If it forms to your fingers, but gives a little resistance, you are off to the right start.

Now savor the aroma. If it smells sweet and delicious, it probably is. Resist the urge to taste it now. There will be plenty of time for that when you own it and have it all to yourself. Enjoy.

 

[MrJogger]

That would be back in the early days of being with my now wife. Hotel room sex. Started in the bed, with both of us getting naked pretty quickly before it moved to a chair which we placed in front of a full length mirror. Her riding me, her back to my chest; but I could see everything in the mirror. And she filmed a short clip too which I still have, and watch…

 

[hanban24]

Would easily be who I lost my virginity too. Took me a year before I was with someone that I actually enjoyed sex with.

 

[hanban24]

Start with texture. Does it feel firm but supple to your touch. If it forms to your fingers, but gives a little resistance, you are off to the right start.

Now savor the aroma. If it smells sweet and delicious, it probably is. Resist the urge to taste it now. There will be plenty of time for that when you own it and have it all to yourself. Enjoy.

Not sure if this is about cheesecake, but I feel like this could definitely be about cheesecake.

 

[MrJogger]

Hmmm. Eva Mendes.

 

[hanban24]

Sugar. I’ve got a sweet tooth lol

 

[MrJogger]

The Woman in Red

 

[BrendaBear]

Beware of the unidriver water kitty! This large aquatic beast lives mostly in the water, but hates it. It is said to somwhat resemble a water buffalo, but has kitty paws, tail And ears. There is also a single screw driver looking horn in the middle of it’s head which you really really do not want to screw with. The animal is also known to bat it’s pray around for hours before finally losing interest and heading for the nearest house to find some shmuck to give it some food.

 

[BrendaBear]

The one with the donkey trail.

 

[BrendaBear]

Oh, the sun feels so nice! I am all spread out and pretty! My friends are flying by, doing their bug thing. What a lovely day! Wait…. What is this joker doing sticking his shnoz so close to me?! Dude! Fuck off! Now what? He’s grabbing me by the stem… WTF? He just broke me off my stem! You dirty bastard! Now he’s pinning me to his lapel… I am fuckin’ decoration now? I was having a lovely morning too! Is your name Peckereye???

 

[hanban24]

Memory of a previous boyfriend and I being intimate

 

[BrendaBear]

It is a lovely device, which stimulates with rapid directed movement. When places against a sensitive anatomical part it can cause shortness of breath, involuntary oral sound emanations, perhaps the odd body spasms and if one is particularly talented, a screaming orgasm of exquisite ecstasy.

 

[BrendaBear]

This is my favorite question.

A sex wizard named Ima L'sbina. She would come equipped with a the Wand of Quivering, which comes with 3 charges for every long rest; an Immovable Rod with cuffs for restraining; and a Garter of Distraction which gives your enemy disadvantage on any wisdom checks because it's so distracting.

Thank you for this perfectly nerdy question.

Since you said nerdy, I am assuming this is pertaining to some game (which I would not know), but either way - it sounds like great fun to me.

 

[hanban24]

Woke up and just had the urge. Began to rub my fingers over top my panties. Once I could feel some stickiness outside my panties, I slipped my hand inside and began to rub. Thought back on a particularly wonderful night with my ex and slipped my fingers inside. After a few minutes I could feel myself getting close, so I pulled out and focused on my clit. Came and laid back for about five minutes in bliss. Got up and took a shower.

 

[Ingenue844]

Freckles, lined, white.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

And what do I do about the 23 Lit ladies all asking how big my cock is and whether they can have a blurry, Photoshopped pic taken from a weird angle next to a bottle of Bud Light? The struggle is real.

Make that 24 and Dos Equis

 

[Hyacinthus151]

Need a break from the marathon zoom meetings. Deal me in.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Babe? I'm your Modelo Especial

/swoon/

 

[Mr_Soup]

This is my favorite question.

A sex wizard named Ima L'sbina. She would come equipped with a the Wand of Quivering, which comes with 3 charges for every long rest; an Immovable Rod with cuffs for restraining; and a Garter of Distraction which gives your enemy disadvantage on any wisdom checks because it's so distracting.

Thank you for this perfectly nerdy question.

I am smitten by this post.

 

[Orchidea73]

Pizza. For no particular reason other than I had to pick one I like. But ultimately, it would matter much in this context because it would still suck. So, it might just as well be Pizza.

 

[RandallOldman]

You know, I've had an affair with a married woman (clandestine, not husband-approved) but one thing I'd like to try is sex with my S.O.'s daughter.

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

This will be a scheduled task in my planner, cause I just have to write with my favourite pen.

I'll start by finding my silver exacto knife, and a box of my thickest, gilded washi tapes. It tends to have the most adhesive.

Prepare a big bottle of pvc glitter glue. The purple one, it's symbolic. And my souvenir zippo from that summer I went to see Aerosmith. Play "I don’t wanna miss a thing" on speakers. Set on repeat. Volume up. Grab my chocolate & vanilla scented candle.

I'll let him get comfortable on my office chair, au naturel. Make sure to set all the stationery I prepared in order, neatly in a row on my desk, in front of him. For the full effect, it has to be directly within his line of sight. I'll make sure of that.

Light the candle with my zippo, and dim the lights to set the mood. Quietly breathe in, breathe deep then slowly exhale. Wait until the scent fills the room.

Grab the knife and start cutting the washi tape to artfully blindfold his eyes. Enjoy.

Optional stationery but still one of my favourites (depending on my mood), that 160 gsm bullet journal. It could be useful, if he resists.

[Note: The scented candle can be substituted with my favourite perfume. It's necessary to mask the pvc smell, it can be really strong. But still keep the zippo close, might be necessary for aftercare.]