Forced bisexuality

[sincerely_helene]

~Deleted, because I think I read the question from the wrong perspective which resulted in a "backwards" answer. This is becoming quite the trend with me.

 

[Shadowsdream]

This question has several nuances. I am not bisexual, yet if I were told to or put in a scene with a woman I would do what was asked. The difference here (I think) is desire vs. actions.

Bisexuality refers to a desire for sexual relations with both sexes, not just 'having' sex with both. In my mind there is a difference, a fine one maybe, but a difference.

I can be forced, asked, coerced, ordered, etc., into having sex with a woman. I can even form an emotional attachment to another woman, but will I lie in bed at night thinking of her and long for her sexually? It's doubtful. I am just so straight, I really am. I have loved women and become so close, but it never developed into a sexual desire. I think that is the crux of bisexuality vs. having sex with the opposite of your preference at the request of a Dom/me.

It might be a question of "order me to do it and relieve me of my responsibility" for some, but it isn't for me. Ultimately I try and take responsibility for who I am, and I don't need someone to give me permission to be me for the most part. Now, there are other things I do need permission for, but that's a different thread I'm sure. But I'm sure for some it is a question of being given 'permission'. But then I think a Dom/me would know these things about their submissive/slave.

I've heard from other Dom/me's several reason's, "Tell me to do it so I don't have to be responsible" and "If you say I'm bisexual then I am, Master/Mistress" and so on and so on.

I admit it is an interesting limit to push in both genders and for a multitude of reasons, and were this asked



of me I would certainly do it to see what it revealed, about me, about the dynamic etc.

But I know my desires pretty well, and I doubt that at the end of that road I'm gonna become so desirous of women as to get wet when a nice looking woman walks by. See, as I see it, it is a question of desire. But it also doesn't mean I hate the idea of being used in that fashion. I'd do it, I might even like it form a service POV. But bisexuality is a sexual thing, not a service thing.

I also have an issue with having sex with someone I don't desire. Not for myself, but for the other person. If the woman were another sub, and it was what He wanted then I wouldn't worry about her feeling the lack of desire from me, it actually might even be the reason we are both there.

But it would bother me if it were a Domme, it would bother me to just 'service' her and not give her my desire. I would do the scene if asked, but there is something underneath it all that niggles at me. If it didn't matter to her that I was only 'servicing her' then I guess it would be fine. I guess it bothers me to not give my desire as part of something like that. Probably some issue of my own.

I'm babbling now, lately I've had problems expressing myself, I hope that was all coherent.

~ Cait

Hello ~Caitlynne and thank you for such an indepth look at several other possibilities. your explanation of how this scenerio would play out for you emotionally and intellectual was incredibly well done.

I truly enjoyed this many splendored scope of reality through your eyes. Taking the time to share so much has given Me a gentler opinion on the "concept" of forced bi-sexuality.

 

[Shadowsdream]

*shrugs* I guess I never thought about it that way, but now that it's mentioned, I'm sure there are plenty who use it that way. I still think some people just get off on the humiliation aspect of it though, just from logic and from some of the stories I've seen here on lit. (although once an m/m aspect enters the story I usually don't read much further, in all honesty.)

This is actually one of those subjects that will have many edges to explore. Some people will get off on the humiliation aspect but when does forced bi-sexuality actually become humiliating? When the Dominant has the lust to order it or when the Dominant fulfills the subs fantasy to be forced?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Since I have no boots to bet, I might be shopping for a new pair, in the next week or so. ;-)

But on this topic... one to which I can speak, I was told to do this with another woman, for my Dom and for her. I did it because it pleased Him but it held nothing for me and quite frankly, I'm sure I did her a great disservice.

I can say more on this but I'm not sure if it holds any interest.

~~smile~~ I have been waiting for you!

I would like very much to hear more about where you found the disservice to her. One more facet to understand for both Dominants and submissives.

Thank you for joining the conversation.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I think some people feel intense shame about having a desire for same sex experiences. Maybe being ordered to perform in this way allows them to enjoy doing something they see as dirty/repugnant without having to face their own desires head on. Maybe that's the same as having someone take away their guilt, but I see shame as being a bit more intense.

I think I could see one other option. Maybe some see it as a type of role play... sort of like a rape fantasy. Few people truly want to be raped but they enjoy the role play and enjoy the fantasy of being under another's control in a non-consensual fashion. I guess forced bi-sexuality could fall under that sort of consensual non-consent umbrella. You know, pretending to be repulsed by it and fighting it, etc all in the name of role play.

It's kind of outside my fantasy life to be forced so I'm just guessing anyhow.

Hello Des it is so nice to see you join in the conversation. I would think you have guessed several valid thoughts and mind sets with forced bi.

I would think the best way for this play in actuality would be in role. Unless of course it is the Dom/mes idea ~~grin~~

 

[Shadowsdream]

Same boat. I can do the 'forced' feminisation and froshing but not the bisexuality. I have absolutely no intentions of servicing another man, whether he be a fellow sub or a dom.

Well in that case a bi experience for you really would be forced if it ocurred!

Hello Xelebes and thank you for adding your voice to this conversation.

 

[ammre]

ahh luckley for me i'm bi, so instead of working this in as a gender issue, for me it's a jelousy issue. (Yes yes i try not to be but, damnit, you don't always control your emotions, you do however control your actions)
i had a guy once who would barely touch me, but he wanted me to find a girl whom he would bang infront of me than i would lick them clean. True, sadisim is part of the whole thrill, this was too mentally sadistic and i think if i had kept in that relationship i wouldn't have any self esteem what so ever.

 

[Netzach]

Hello Netzach
Thank You for joining the conversation. You and I have the same idea on this one when it comes to the forced aspect. Perhaps there could be a more honest word to achieve the same goal?

There probably is, but sometimes it's likely not as much fun.

 

[John Doe]

Okay, here's a question for Dommes (and even Doms I suppose), those who are interested in bisexual activities specifically. Do you prefer a sub who is already bisexual or who wants to try such acts, or do you prefer a sub who you have to "force" (coerce) into it? Or does it depend on mood?

 

[Netzach]

I just prefer other bisexuals as partners, it works a lot better.

But thats not to say I don't like to play with the idea of "force" in a scene. Whether that means drinking out of the dog bowl or sucking dick.

 

[Marquis]

~Deleted, because I think I read the question from the wrong perspective which resulted in a "backwards" answer. This is becoming quite the trend with me.

Ain't nothing wrong with starting from the back. Just gotta wash off in between.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Ain't nothing wrong with starting from the back. Just gotta wash off in between.

As you wish... hang on there, I'll go get the strap on.

 

[Marquis]

As you wish... hang on there, I'll go get the strap on.

I didn't know you were into DP.

 

[catalina_francisco]

As I haven't had time to read all the posts, I might have missed this, but I get a picture from what I have read that many people assume being bisexual means you can perform sexually with anyone that is chosen, no force needed, or at least no big issue involved. From my own perspective I don't see that as the way it is, just as a heterosexual person may not want or find it palatable to have sex with every person of the opposite gender, I don't see gays or bisexuals as naturally feeling it is easy or possible to have sex with someone of the same gender just because it is ordered. In that sense, it still can be very much an issue of force, and for some can have just as serious consequences for those put in that position. I tend to place it in the edge play category of play, though the aspects of control, humiliation, service can make it appealing on a personal level....it needs a good knowledge of the people involved and their psychological state, and monitoring for any unforeseen or unexpected problems.

Catalina

 

[John Doe]

I just prefer other bisexuals as partners, it works a lot better.

But thats not to say I don't like to play with the idea of "force" in a scene. Whether that means drinking out of the dog bowl or sucking dick.

I like that answer.

 

[A Desert Rose]

~~smile~~ I have been waiting for you!

I would like very much to hear more about where you found the disservice to her. One more facet to understand for both Dominants and submissives.

Thank you for joining the conversation.

She was (maybe still is) bi-curious. I never have been. For that reason alone, I was not a good choice to satisfy her curiosity. Not to mention the lack of experience (it would actually be NONE) on my part. For her, someone who not only knew what they were doing but wanted to be doing it, certainly would have been nice. I've always felt badly about the disservice that I think I did her.

I did what I was told to do and I tried to do for her what I thought she would enjoy but still, there was a lack of interest and pleasure on my part. And that was unfair to her, especially considering that this was her first (and maybe only) experience with this.

My Dom and I had very few hard limits. He respected the usual ones and shared those with me, i.e. no children, no animals, etc. He had told me that he wanted me to service this woman. I knew going in that this was something he wanted to see and provide for her, as well as a limit for me that he wanted to push.

I see it as the responsiblity of a good Dominant to push limits and expand the arena of experience for his submissive. Which is another reason I performed this act - the first being of course, that he told me to do it. In that light, I'm glad he pushed this limit for me. At least I can say I've done it and know for certain that it holds no interest for me. 'No Sir, I can't' or 'no Sir, I won't' were not acceptable answers to him.

Speaking on the issue of jealousy that ammre brought up... I was not jealous of her during the scene. He showed much more attention to me than he did to her. I felt bad for her in that regard, too. Had I been her, I would have been consumed with jealousy. He told me after the fact that she indeed, was.

I felt I was also under pressure to be the 'best sub' I could be for him. I endured much more and agreed to do more than was physically, and maybe mentally, good for me. I have a high pain threshold, anyway. And I suffered for a couple of weeks after because I didn't say 'Stop.' But that is another topic, entirely.

In my experience, and I admit it was a one time only thing, when I stand back and look at it in total, there are so many different places to view it from. I think I have touched on the most obvious of those vistas, from my perspective at least.

I love Your threads, Ma'am. Thank you.

 

[Shadowsdream]

ahh luckley for me i'm bi, so instead of working this in as a gender issue, for me it's a jelousy issue. (Yes yes i try not to be but, damnit, you don't always control your emotions, you do however control your actions)
i had a guy once who would barely touch me, but he wanted me to find a girl whom he would bang infront of me than i would lick them clean. True, sadisim is part of the whole thrill, this was too mentally sadistic and i think if i had kept in that relationship i wouldn't have any self esteem what so ever.

Hello ammre

It is nice to see you add to the conversation...interesting new point as well. This bi experience could have been destructive emotionally.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Okay, here's a question for Dommes (and even Doms I suppose), those who are interested in bisexual activities specifically. Do you prefer a sub who is already bisexual or who wants to try such acts, or do you prefer a sub who you have to "force" (coerce) into it? Or does it depend on mood?

I prefer bi sexuals or at the veru minimum bisexual curious...for themselves...not at My insistance as a sexual orientation. Forcing or Coercing takes negative energy from Me.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE your av

 

[sunfox]

I'll join KC in admiring your AV, Shadowsdream.. lovely as always.


I am, as Caitlynne mentioned, very heterosexual in my interests. I can find women attractive in an abstract sense, but were you to put that same woman in front of me, it would be unlikely I would be physically attracted to her no matter how beautiful she is to me.

I'd like to say that if C asked it of me, I would do it, and that is probably true in a straightforward sense of obedience.. but in spirit, I would not be into it, and would likely be both turned off, and feel performance anxiety due to having no clue what to do to make it good for her. (As ADR mentioned, doing her a disservice by my lack of desire and knowledge.)

It would feel like setting me up to fail.

 

[Liana26]

Well, I'm your typical bi-curious college student. But the only thing I've done was make out with a few of my female friends when we were both very drunk. So if Tyler brought a girl home one day and "forced" me to do xyz, I think I'd be thrilled, then again I have no experience to speak from so I could be wrong.

 

[Shadowsdream]

As I haven't had time to read all the posts, I might have missed this, but I get a picture from what I have read that many people assume being bisexual means you can perform sexually with anyone that is chosen, no force needed, or at least no big issue involved. From my own perspective I don't see that as the way it is, just as a heterosexual person may not want or find it palatable to have sex with every person of the opposite gender, I don't see gays or bisexuals as naturally feeling it is easy or possible to have sex with someone of the same gender just because it is ordered. In that sense, it still can be very much an issue of force, and for some can have just as serious consequences for those put in that position. I tend to place it in the edge play category of play, though the aspects of control, humiliation, service can make it appealing on a personal level....it needs a good knowledge of the people involved and their psychological state, and monitoring for any unforeseen or unexpected problems.

Catalina

Hello Catalina and thank you for adding your voice to this conversation.

Am I understanding you correctly....that being given an order that goes against the natural desire would be considered forced?

 

[Shadowsdream]

She was (maybe still is) bi-curious. I never have been. For that reason alone, I was not a good choice to satisfy her curiosity. Not to mention the lack of experience (it would actually be NONE) on my part. For her, someone who not only knew what they were doing but wanted to be doing it, certainly would have been nice. I've always felt badly about the disservice that I think I did her.

I did what I was told to do and I tried to do for her what I thought she would enjoy but still, there was a lack of interest and pleasure on my part. And that was unfair to her, especially considering that this was her first (and maybe only) experience with this.

My Dom and I had very few hard limits. He respected the usual ones and shared those with me, i.e. no children, no animals, etc. He had told me that he wanted me to service this woman. I knew going in that this was something he wanted to see and provide for her, as well as a limit for me that he wanted to push.

I see it as the responsiblity of a good Dominant to push limits and expand the arena of experience for his submissive. Which is another reason I performed this act - the first being of course, that he told me to do it. In that light, I'm glad he pushed this limit for me. At least I can say I've done it and know for certain that it holds no interest for me. 'No Sir, I can't' or 'no Sir, I won't' were not acceptable answers to him.

Speaking on the issue of jealousy that ammre brought up... I was not jealous of her during the scene. He showed much more attention to me than he did to her. I felt bad for her in that regard, too. Had I been her, I would have been consumed with jealousy. He told me after the fact that she indeed, was.

I felt I was also under pressure to be the 'best sub' I could be for him. I endured much more and agreed to do more than was physically, and maybe mentally, good for me. I have a high pain threshold, anyway. And I suffered for a couple of weeks after because I didn't say 'Stop.' But that is another topic, entirely.

In my experience, and I admit it was a one time only thing, when I stand back and look at it in total, there are so many different places to view it from. I think I have touched on the most obvious of those vistas, from my perspective at least.

I love Your threads, Ma'am. Thank you.

Hello rosey one and thank you for elaborating!

Very good points about consequences that few consider until after the fact. The consequences you describe will affect both you and her if you read the situation correctly. How do you think this situation played out for your Dom?

 

[Shadowsdream]

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE your av

Thank you beastie girl...it is a clip from My pilot.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I'll join KC in admiring your AV, Shadowsdream.. lovely as always.


I am, as Caitlynne mentioned, very heterosexual in my interests. I can find women attractive in an abstract sense, but were you to put that same woman in front of me, it would be unlikely I would be physically attracted to her no matter how beautiful she is to me.

I'd like to say that if C asked it of me, I would do it, and that is probably true in a straightforward sense of obedience.. but in spirit, I would not be into it, and would likely be both turned off, and feel performance anxiety due to having no clue what to do to make it good for her. (As ADR mentioned, doing her a disservice by my lack of desire and knowledge.)

It would feel like setting me up to fail.

Hello sunfox...thank you for joining the conversation!

Would you feel that you were being forced or that you were obeying? If you felt you were being set up to fail would that not begin a trust issue?

I hope you don't mind these extra probing questions.