For those of you who don't believe in the validity of on-line friendships...

[Passionnee]

I believe you can make friends online. Some people I thought were friends were not, but some people I met over the years online are still good friends of mine.

I met my bf in lit chat (we spoke for over 8 months via msn etc), we have been living together for over 1 year and half, and we are expecting a lil one in January, so everything is possible

 

[SimGuy]

I subscribe to the Velveteen Rabbit Theory:

Anything that you love enough, becomes REAL in the process!!

 

[sexy-girl]

thinking about this some more


the vast majority of people i know on literotica are just acquaintances that i enjoy hanging out with but there are a few that are real friends i have no doubt that if i needed help they would do whatever it took ... let me stay with them lend me money whatever ... people that would do that are real friends

and i would do the same for them if they were in that much trouble

 

[Astrid]

I want to see into the soul of my partner, and so far, I have found only the eyes allow that view.


But what if the body is blind, Texan?

Emotion is emotion.
Change the medium and still you'll see that this fact always remains.

The fact is..we all know people on different levels in the Real World- this is just a another kind of level in which to explore our emotional ties to other humans.

 

[Texan]

I want to see into the soul of my partner, and so far, I have found only the eyes allow that view.


But what if the body is blind, Texan?

I can only assume that a blind person makes up (as much as possible) with the other senses. NONE of which are available through a keyboard.

 

[glamorilla]

That's a fair question, and the fact that you would ask it, speaks volumes about the differences in our perspectives.

I do not come here for friendship, although there are people here that I sincerely enjoy. There are several people here that would make excellent friends in the REAL world. I have no trouble using the term "online friend" to describe several people here. I have met a few people (one time) and allow myself to care about those people a little more, because I have actually met them.

I do not come here to find a partner. I am very content in my marriage, and if I were not, I would look for a partner in the REAL world. I want to see into the soul of my partner, and so far, I have found only the eyes allow that view.

I do not come here to find a lover. Now, I know that a lover can mean countless different things to different people, but I barely even flirt online anymore. I've been online since before there was an internet. I did the direct dial bulletin boards with a 300 baud modem, then usenet, then IRC chat, ICQ, Yahoo chat and messenger, with voice and video. I founded four Yahoo clubs, etc. etc. etc. I haven't done cyber-sex in several years because it became boring.

I think I became paranoid of the people I meet online when a woman I had lightly flirted with, flew to my city and called me from the airport asking that I come pick her up. Hell, I had never even given her my last name or phone number. She figured that out from my email address and called directory assistance. She even knew I was married, but that didn't matter because the woman was a lunatic.

Here is what I DO come to Lit for.

I come to Lit for intelligent conversation with other thinking adults. Admittedly, I have to filter through a bit of "stuff" to find that, but everyone filters to find what they are looking for.

I come to Lit to challenge my own opinions and beliefs. While I might state my positions of advocacy with conviction, I am always weighing my own views against the logic or knowledge of others.

I come to Lit for distraction. At times, real life gets pretty intense. My office is in my house. This is the only room in my house where I am pretty much undisturbed. I can watch TV, read or come online. I do some of each.

I come to Lit when real life becomes boring. Just as life can sometimes be too intense, it can sometimes be boring. Lit can be an excellent diversion.

I hope that explains what I come to Lit for. To each their own.

liar.

 

[Cheyenne]

liar.

??? Why?

 

[sarahuk4]

I personally feel that Lit , and any other chat area , eg Yahoo , is very real ....people are real behind the screen and keyboard , with real feelings ....Infact I use Yahoo a lot , and I have made some really good friends there , now in "Real Life" , we meet up, have coffee , have meals out , families meet ....actually we have a meet at a place called Blackpool which is in England , soon ....

Also a few friends of mine are actualy now engaged via Yahoo , and one has even married , after meeting on Yahoo .... their little baby in their arms ... Now what more REAL can you get than that !!!...

So just think the next time you are really nasty to somebody in text , that person reading it has feelings , and with that I say sorry to ChilledVodka for being really nasty to him a couple of days ago ....it was unnecessary of me ....

 

[glamorilla]

bullshit double standard.

hypocrite.

 

[bknight2602]

You will only know and keep friends on cyber channels, if they are truthful and not ashamed of themselves. If you lie online it is very possible you would lie in person, cyber only makes it easier to lie and not have the look of an untruthful person.
Yes, I think one can have friends in cyber, I think I have a few on Lit, since I have only been a member for a little while!

 

[Texan]

bullshit double standard.

hypocrite.

coming from you, this mean so much...

 

[glamorilla]

it's becouse you're special.

 

[Persephone36]

While I think it's important to use your gut instincts with how close you get to people that you meet online -- meaning taking the online relationship/friendship and meeting them in person -- I have done numerous times.

My best friend, who I see a couple times of the year (he lives in LA) and who I write most days and talk on the phone with every week or so -- he and I met on a bb about a year and a half ago. Neither of us go to that bb anymore. But it's how we met. I also have a gf who lives in Michigan that I met from the same bb -- and while we haven't met in person yet, that's just been timing.

However, I met a number of people from that same bb -- and while I liked them as aquaintances -- I wouldn't continue a close friendship with them. Chemistry. But I pretty much knew that already from my bb and email interactions with them.

From here -- I've met in person lilminx, and she's truly someone I can call a real girl friend. She's super -- we just clicked right away, when we met. The way you do with *anyone* you meet at a party and just hit it off with. In fact, we'd had very little interaction before we met in person -- it was at the infamous July 5th NYC gathering that we met. But I consider her to be a true friend.

I didn't come her specifically looking for friends that would move from a board relationship to an in-person one...but when the opportunity and connection was there -- I had and have no problem moving it along.

Although it still makes me laugh how people who have *never* met someone through this medium can sometimes look at you askance when you tell them how you met. As if meeting this way isn't as genuine as meeting in a coffeeshop, at a party, through an adult ed class, etc.

In terms of lovers -- well, I met one man through here who gave me the greatest summer this year. A great lover and he became my friend -- that was something I feel very lucky about.

Now there's someone else in my life who I met through here, and where that relationship goes -- I'm not about to predict or project about. All I can say is that he's an incredibly special person. I hope in whatever way he stays a part of my life for a long time. As a friend, as more -- however circumstances play out. I just know I met someone I want to *know* for a good long time.

Maybe I'm just lucky -- maybe I'm a good read of people. Maybe I just know who is right for me and who isn't. I think I'm a very good read of who is someone I have chemistry with. Sometimes I think I have this with people and I'm wrong -- I realize with further contact, it's just not there. In those cases, I just try to ease back from the relationship/friendship/what have you. It happens -- hopefully I don't give them the impression that I'm so sure about them being in my life -- that it's hurtful or insulting when I realize we're not right to be friends or something else.

 

[glamorilla]

that's really cool seph. very talented speaker.

most of these things are basic common sense. of course you don't trust every personality you come across. of course people lie over the internet. of course you need to trust your gut instincts in these matters. i have more than my fair share of nightmare stories.

i just think it's pathetic somebody feels the need to come on line and start pointing fingers at genuine people to validate himself. we've been here enough to know who's who and what's what.

and now i know what texan is.

and my instinct was right.

have fun with your new friend.

 

[SweetInnocence]

I have met some really great people 'online' - a few to which become better friends that any in RL. Once the friendship is there, it don't matter if it behind a keyboard...that just my thoughts.

 

[Persephone36]

that's really cool seph. very talented speaker.


have fun with your new friend.

Thanks Glam.

I'm going to suggest to the NY crowd that anyone who wants to -- do a get together maybe the Friday or Saturday of Labor Day weekend.

Another NYC debacle.

Maybe you'll be free this time -- then I'd actually get to meet *you* at one of these things.

 

[joethebow]

On line friends.

OK so I’m a newbie here but I’ve spent quite a lot of time on another board. I KNOW I’ve a lot of friends there and I hope I make at least as many here. I’ve had online friends go out of their way to help me and support me when I’ve had trouble and I think, in a small way, I’ve helped a few of them.

So yes, I believe that you can easily have online friends whom you have no contact with other than here.

Keep the faith.