Female Libido Transformations

[trappedwriter]

I am seeking advice from ladies who have gone through a transformation in their libido. What caused the switch to turn on?

What went from non-existence to can't stop?

Did your attitude towards sex change? Did you become more adventurous? Did you go from being "conservative" to "slut"?

This is personal for me. I am searching for hope.

 

[suckonsimon]

I can tell my wife's story:

Second half of three years depression was 18 months not wanting sex at all, and believing that the pleasure we had had for thirty years was all over. Then, depression over, she was left with anxieties about returning to sexual activity.

We booked an Autumn week away in a quiet country cottage, cosy rooms, lovely places to visit nearby. Before travelling we talked a few times about what might be while we were away. It was gonna be t-i-m-e together, intimacy if and when she felt like it, and a promise from me that there would be absolutely nil pressure from me to go 'the next step' at any time. I took plenty of lube but didn't mention that. I gave my attention to being a real gentleman, a lot of fun, and a good cook.

We look back on that holiday [four years ago] as like a second honeymoon. The space, the time together, the lovely half-day outings, the non-pressure which I was able to maintain, everything just as she wished - I guess her feeling that she had a lovely man - all this came together for a surge in her appetite. Second half of that week and it was three times a day.

Reading back, this sounds a bit like it's about me; but I know that it was being really loved and accepted and delighted in for who she is and not simply for what I could enjoy of her, that tipped the balance of things in this situation where she was well again but not yet woken again to her sexual potential.

 

[txwife594]

I was married for over twenty years. The kinda of sex only in the dark and under the covers kinda wife.I wouldn't even let him go down on me. I did some things that upset hubby some. One day he told me I would do as he said. I did what he wanted. Since giving up worrying about sex there has been a total change. The amount of sex is through the roof. I think I am now addicted to receiving oral. Lol. Now our sex life is great and we have sex all the time. For me it was all about giving up control and worrying.

 

[newhere2learn]

Observer

As an observer I've seen depression and medical treatments for various conditions play havoc with my wife's.

Together 10 years, first 2+ she was a whore. Couldn't get enough of my cock in her.

Then illness, nerve pain, off work, medical treatments and depression crushed it. Some years we fuck twice.

She says she misses intimacy and thinks about it, but has zero desire most of the time. Kissing, hugging etc is also largely banned.

Then out of nowhere a med switch, confidence boost, or even weekend away will bring about a full 180 (temporary).

So for a week, maybe a month it's 3-4 times a week.

Then *puff* it's gone.

Currently been best part of 2 years since we had sex. About a year since any form of intimacy.

Desire? None.

Currently she's too exhausted.

For her it's not a big deal, as in her teens and twenties she was sexually experimental. Had it all when she wanted.

That's good for her... For me who's less well catered for historically, I'm in my prime and reduced to stealth stroking.

 

[turbocs37]

As an observer I've seen depression and medical treatments for various conditions play havoc with my wife's.

Together 10 years, first 2+ she was a whore. Couldn't get enough of my cock in her.

Then illness, nerve pain, off work, medical treatments and depression crushed it. Some years we fuck twice.

She says she misses intimacy and thinks about it, but has zero desire most of the time. Kissing, hugging etc is also largely banned.

Then out of nowhere a med switch, confidence boost, or even weekend away will bring about a full 180 (temporary).

So for a week, maybe a month it's 3-4 times a week.

Then *puff* it's gone.

Currently been best part of 2 years since we had sex. About a year since any form of intimacy.

Desire? None.

Currently she's too exhausted.

For her it's not a big deal, as in her teens and twenties she was sexually experimental. Had it all when she wanted.

That's good for her... For me who's less well catered for historically, I'm in my prime and reduced to stealth stroking.

Not sure what your convictions are but if she doesn't give two shits if you have sex or not then apply the other edge of that sword.

 

[newhere2learn]

Not sure what your convictions are but if she doesn't give two shits if you have sex or not then apply the other edge of that sword.

Happy to discuss by PM

 

[trappedwriter]

My concern is that she is going to flip the switch on and mine is going to flip off.

 

[trappedwriter]

As an observer I've seen depression and medical treatments for various conditions play havoc with my wife's.

Together 10 years, first 2+ she was a whore. Couldn't get enough of my cock in her.

Then illness, nerve pain, off work, medical treatments and depression crushed it. Some years we fuck twice.

She says she misses intimacy and thinks about it, but has zero desire most of the time. Kissing, hugging etc is also largely banned.

Then out of nowhere a med switch, confidence boost, or even weekend away will bring about a full 180 (temporary).

So for a week, maybe a month it's 3-4 times a week.

Then *puff* it's gone.

Currently been best part of 2 years since we had sex. About a year since any form of intimacy.

Desire? None.

Currently she's too exhausted.

For her it's not a big deal, as in her teens and twenties she was sexually experimental. Had it all when she wanted.

That's good for her... For me who's less well catered for historically, I'm in my prime and reduced to stealth stroking.

Seems very similar.

 

[HesterP]

For me it was going from a slut in college and for awhile thereafter to becoming rather conservative while raising kids. Now I am edging back to slut hood but with a little more caution and common sense. I did not give up sex while the kids were growing but I cut way back. No depression but just a matter of time and energy. Part of it was also a poor relationship with the husband which was recently corrected with a divorce.

 

[rocketeer50]

For me it was going from a slut in college and for awhile thereafter to becoming rather conservative while raising kids. Now I am edging back to slut hood but with a little more caution and common sense. I did not give up sex while the kids were growing but I cut way back. No depression but just a matter of time and energy. Part of it was also a poor relationship with the husband which was recently corrected with a divorce.

Crappy sex life might have contributed to crappy relationship.

 

[turbocs37]

Crappy sex life might have contributed to crappy relationship.

You think?

 

[newhere2learn]

Seems very similar.

I've been warned not to expect anything for at least the next 12-24 months.

"You've got hands"

And this from a woman who used to enjoy group sex, one night stands, and asked if we could go swinging/try bdsm.

Switch is firmly in the "off" location.

 

[Christobal]

I was married for over twenty years. The kinda of sex only in the dark and under the covers kinda wife.I wouldn't even let him go down on me. I did some things that upset hubby some. One day he told me I would do as he said. I did what he wanted. Since giving up worrying about sex there has been a total change. The amount of sex is through the roof. I think I am now addicted to receiving oral. Lol. Now our sex life is great and we have sex all the time. For me it was all about giving up control and worrying.

You are not the first woman that didn't want oral (speaking from my personal experience). What do you think the problem was and what changed?

 

[newhere2learn]

My concern is that she is going to flip the switch on and mine is going to flip off.

Sex toys and lingerie are "stored" in the loft, in multiple bags in a suitcase.


Reckon the switch is "off"?

 

[trappedwriter]

Crappy sex life might have contributed to crappy relationship.

For my wife, she thinks it's the other way around.

 

[trappedwriter]

For me it was going from a slut in college and for awhile thereafter to becoming rather conservative while raising kids. Now I am edging back to slut hood but with a little more caution and common sense. I did not give up sex while the kids were growing but I cut way back. No depression but just a matter of time and energy. Part of it was also a poor relationship with the husband which was recently corrected with a divorce.

While not necessarily a "slut" in college, my wife was more sexual in college. I keep wondering if she so regrets stuff from college that she has just shut that part down.

 

[txwife594]

You are not the first woman that didn't want oral (speaking from my personal experience). What do you think the problem was and what changed?

I was too worried about my body. Once I didn't have a choice anymore I started to relax and really enjoy it. I absolutely love oral now.

 

[trappedwriter]

Thanks for all the feedback. Turns out I think I was asking the wrong question.

The issue isn't that I need to switch it to "on" for my wife, but that I need to turn off my libido.

 

[newhere2learn]

Thanks for all the feedback. Turns out I think I was asking the wrong question.

The issue isn't that I need to switch it to "on" for my wife, but that I need to turn off my libido.

I was recently told similar

 

[trappedwriter]

I was recently told similar

I hear ya. I wasn't told this, but right or wrong or spite or whatever to call it, it is the decision I am going to make. I'll eat crap food, drink beer, and be non affectionate. Going to stop reading here, looking at porn and even stop wanking.

Just turn the motherfucker off, and bury it deep in a pit somewhere.

 

[newhere2learn]

I hear ya. I wasn't told this, but right or wrong or spite or whatever to call it, it is the decision I am going to make. I'll eat crap food, drink beer, and be non affectionate. Going to stop reading here, looking at porn and even stop wanking.

Just turn the motherfucker off, and bury it deep in a pit somewhere.

Fight it. Plenty of folks here to help

 

[trappedwriter]

Nope. Done.

And please done misunderstand, this isn't a plea for help.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

I could write a book about my on and off sex drive. But my husband and I already have.
My boobs have always been my downfall. When a man just looks I want him to play with them. When he plays I want my nipples sucked. It's always been this way and my husband has encouraged it.
Still I wouldn't swap or let another man have intercourse. Several years back my husband would get ready for sex and go soft.We didn't know until lately he has prostate cancer. He recently began treatments and his older woman Indian doctor says when it's over she can help. We already told her how much I still love sex at my age.
Something snapped back when my husband could no longer satisfy me. I still dressed slutty and old men where we lived begged to play around. Again my husband begged me to swap. Only now he couldn't swap. I let a good friend have sex while his wife agreed and watched. Then one after another. It's been several wonderful years and I have sex with our many friends more than most young girls do.
We tell our friends I'll be their toy as long as I can take it.
Honestly all I do now is lay over the large arm of our love seat and take it dog style. No oral or anal.
Most of the old men and me are too old. But a quick one makes them smile and keeps me happy.
My husband never thought he'd see the day I'd let other men fuck me. It's not the age or how you look. I'm fat with vericose veins. My vagina is getting tight and dry. But my boobs make me wet and that's all that the men care about.
Some of these men have wives who haven't had sex in 20 years. many are lonely old men after the wife died. Hubby says I'm a nurse taking care of the sick.
Friends are dieing. Soon it will be too late.
A normal woman looses interest after the change. I guess I've never been normal.
We are all consenting adults and most of us need sex. We don't smoke or drink. But I'm addicted to sex.