Cuckold research

[policywank]

I have been fortunate to correspond with many people on Lit and elsewhere and IRL on the topic of being a hot wife or cuckold. I am thinking of publishing a new piece primarily on my anecdotal observations about the cuckold's perspective. I have gathered a lot of content just from discussion with you all, but I would like to ask a few questions specifically in order to get your feedback. Please feel free to post here or PM me. For this purpose I think of a hot wife/cuckold relationship as simply being one in which her side of the marriage is open but his is not. And I am directing these questions at actual cuckolds as well as aspiring cuckolds. The input of actual or aspiring hit wives is also welcome.

What led you to the role of cuckold? Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your wife initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off?

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration? If not why did you never consider pursuing other women? If it was a consideration what led you to leave that behind and embrace being a cuckold?

Is the role of cuckold and the attendant limitation on your sexual activities with other women something that is defined by an explicit agreement with your wife or just something that came to be in an unspoken way?

Did your wife's attitude or approach to your personal interactions change in any way after she started cuckolding you?

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules?

Do you engage in fetish play? Do you want to? How has that evolved over time?

Why did your wife choose to cuckold you? What is it that she seeks from other men? What is her "type" when choosing a sexual partner if you can define it?

Are her lovers purely sex partners or does she have a greater connection to them? Can you tell me anything about those relationships?

Does your wife have multiple lovers or one boyfriend? How does she feel about the term "bull" as opposed to "lover" or "boyfriend"?

Is she in control in her extra-marital sexual relationships or is she more submissive with the other men?

What is it that you enjoy about being a cuckold and how has that evolved over time?

I feel like I could go on and on, but that is enough for now. Of course anything else that you would like to add or embellish is welcome. Like I said I do intend to use any feedback I get to write a new piece, but it will all be aggregated information that won't even make reference to any online names. And while I do often express strong views it does all come from a place of respecting all parties in this lifestyle. In particular I hold all the supportive cuckolds in very high regard.

 

[Scareltt]

What led you to the role of Shared Wife Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your husband initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off?

Hi!

For us it started with a shift from traditional marriage to a wife led marriage.

As the dynamic changed I realized I had needs (wants?) that weren’t going to be met. So we started talking and eventually came to the idea of me dating. For us it was sort of mutual.

We sort of led each other to the conclusion.

It’s never that simple, and I actually cried in the car all the way to my first date. Then I cried on the way home. Then there were tears after the first kiss. It took me months to actually have intercourse with another man, then I had to deal with that flood of emotions.

I also had to manage my husbands issues. They were mainly fear of abandonment, but once he realized I would always come home to him he got more comfortable.

I’m sure a few people can relate.

 

[Justfantasies]

I have been fortunate to correspond with many people on Lit and elsewhere and IRL on the topic of being a hot wife or cuckold. I am thinking of publishing a new piece primarily on my anecdotal observations about the cuckold's perspective. I have gathered a lot of content just from discussion with you all, but I would like to ask a few questions specifically in order to get your feedback. Please feel free to post here or PM me. For this purpose I think of a hot wife/cuckold relationship as simply being one in which her side of the marriage is open but his is not. And I am directing these questions at actual cuckolds as well as aspiring cuckolds. The input of actual or aspiring hit wives is also welcome.

What led you to the role of cuckold? Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your wife initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off? MY WIFE INITIATED AFTER ABOUT FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE. SHE WAS VERY EXPERIENCED WHEN WE MET AND I WAS NOT. INITIALLY IT WAS CHEATING BUT QUICKLY EVOLVED INTO CUCKOLDERY. SHE WAS VERY PRETTY AND MEN OFTEN HIT ON HER.

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration? If not why did you never consider pursuing other women? If it was a consideration what led you to leave that behind and embrace being a cuckold? THERE WAS A LITTLE RECIPROCITY AT THE BEGINNING (AND ON OEN OTHER OCCASION) BUT I REALIZED I LOVED KNOWING SHE FUCKED OTHER GUYS AND IT TURNED ME ON

Is the role of cuckold and the attendant limitation on your sexual activities with other women something that is defined by an explicit agreement with your wife or just something that came to be in an unspoken way? EXPLICIT AGREEMENT TO OPEN MARRIAGE BUT NOT TO CUCKOLDERY EXACTLY.

Did your wife's attitude or approach to your personal interactions change in any way after she started cuckolding you? SEEMED FREER AND SEXIER, BUT WE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT HER FORMER (BEFORE ME) LOVERS OF WHICH SHE HAD A LOT.

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules? NO

Do you engage in fetish play? Do you want to? How has that evolved over time? NO

Why did your wife choose to cuckold you? What is it that she seeks from other men? What is her "type" when choosing a sexual partner if you can define it? YES SHE DID. I CAN'T SEE A DEFINITE TYPE

Are her lovers purely sex partners or does she have a greater connection to them? Can you tell me anything about those relationships? DEFINITE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP OF FRIENDSHIP.

Does your wife have multiple lovers or one boyfriend? How does she feel about the term "bull" as opposed to "lover" or "boyfriend"? MOSTLY JUST ONE AT A TIME, BUT SOMETIMES MORE THAN ONE. SHE STILL FUCKED ME WHEN SHE HAD OTHER BFS

Is she in control in her extra-marital sexual relationships or is she more submissive with the other men? SHE IS CERTAINLY IN CONTROL OF OUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.

What is it that you enjoy about being a cuckold and how has that evolved over time? SHE IS NOW MY EX-WIFE AND I DON'T SEE MUCH OF HER ANYMORE. WHEN WE FIRST GOT DIVORCED, SHE AND I FUCKED ALL THE TIME.

I feel like I could go on and on, but that is enough for now. Of course anything else that you would like to add or embellish is welcome. Like I said I do intend to use any feedback I get to write a new piece, but it will all be aggregated information that won't even make reference to any online names. And while I do often express strong views it does all come from a place of respecting all parties in this lifestyle. In particular I hold all the supportive cuckolds in very high regard.

 

[policywank]

Thank you for the feedback

 

[AuBonPain]

I’ve had two relationships where I’ve told my gf she could fuck anyone she wanted to as long as she told me about it afterwards. It didn’t occur frequently but when it did, it was an amazing turnon for both of us. I’ve always been aroused by the thought of someone I love allowing another man to enjoy her. It’s the pain of jealousy that feels like a punch in the gut but it is so intense that it’s like a drug.

 

[eroticspank]

I have been fortunate to correspond with many people on Lit and elsewhere and IRL on the topic of being a hot wife or cuckold. I am thinking of publishing a new piece primarily on my anecdotal observations about the cuckold's perspective. I have gathered a lot of content just from discussion with you all, but I would like to ask a few questions specifically in order to get your feedback. Please feel free to post here or PM me. For this purpose I think of a hot wife/cuckold relationship as simply being one in which her side of the marriage is open but his is not. And I am directing these questions at actual cuckolds as well as aspiring cuckolds. The input of actual or aspiring hit wives is also welcome.

What led you to the role of cuckold? Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your wife initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off?

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration? If not why did you never consider pursuing other women? If it was a consideration what led you to leave that behind and embrace being a cuckold?

Is the role of cuckold and the attendant limitation on your sexual activities with other women something that is defined by an explicit agreement with your wife or just something that came to be in an unspoken way?

Did your wife's attitude or approach to your personal interactions change in any way after she started cuckolding you?

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules?

Do you engage in fetish play? Do you want to? How has that evolved over time?

Why did your wife choose to cuckold you? What is it that she seeks from other men? What is her "type" when choosing a sexual partner if you can define it?

Are her lovers purely sex partners or does she have a greater connection to them? Can you tell me anything about those relationships?

Does your wife have multiple lovers or one boyfriend? How does she feel about the term "bull" as opposed to "lover" or "boyfriend"?

Is she in control in her extra-marital sexual relationships or is she more submissive with the other men?

What is it that you enjoy about being a cuckold and how has that evolved over time?

I feel like I could go on and on, but that is enough for now. Of course anything else that you would like to add or embellish is welcome. Like I said I do intend to use any feedback I get to write a new piece, but it will all be aggregated information that won't even make reference to any online names. And while I do often express strong views it does all come from a place of respecting all parties in this lifestyle. In particular I hold all the supportive cuckolds in very high regard.

Actually, policywank, I am not in a cuckold relationship but I would love to read your answers to the questions above. How did you guys start, etc? I find this type of relationship very interesting and I am looking forward to reading the answers.
ES

 

[policywank]

Actually, policywank, I am not in a cuckold relationship but I would love to read your answers to the questions above. How did you guys start, etc? I find this type of relationship very interesting and I am looking forward to reading the answers.
ES

The catalyst was when I cheated. I confessed right away and in the process of talking it out it became clear that I needed more sexually. We tried an open marriage for a while. But his heart wasn't in that in the sense that he didn't want other women and I was already satisfying his sexual needs (whereas the opposite wasn't so). We effectively drifted into a hotwife/cuckold dynamic by default because he stopped seeking other women. But he sort of still felt like he was supposed to pursue them more so I took the initiative to ask him to embrace the lifestyle and put his focus on me in exchange for which I would make an extra effort to satisfy all his sexual needs and explore whatever he wanted to explore. He embraced this readily and I think that taking that formal step helped put his mind and heart more at ease.

I would not say that my approach to my husband changed all that much at first. If anything I would say that I tried to be more attentive and appreciative but he would say that I became a bit more self confident and assertive in expressing my needs (after all that was the deal we made). However, once we codified our new arrangement and started to explore our respective roles it became apparent that we both liked it when I was in charge so we eventually adopted an FLR more explicitly. I think that much like a clear agreement to enter the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle these explicit agreements helped set parameters and gave us an opportunity to talk clearly about how things would be.

We do not have any rules about my sexual activities with other men. I am expected to respect our commitment to one another and be open if things change, otherwise there is no list of do's and don'ts. I actually find that if anything this really helps me focus better on balance than rules would. I get to indulge myself, but if I act in a way that is irresponsible or hurtful towards my husband that is all on me and I have nothing to hide behind.

Yes we engage in fetish play. It evolved bit by bit over time. He liked licking my pussy after dates which led to him eating cream pies and eventually embracing his bi-sexual side. I started putting his cock in a cage as a sort of play when I went out on a date - at first I asked and broached it gently but when it became clear that he liked it I took control, etc.

Ultimately I cuckold my husband because I need more sexually. He is a wonderful lover but I don't know any one man who is enough for me. And I have always appreciated variety and had ample opportunity to indulge that desire for variety. Opportunity is a key thing here - as it is with a lot of couples I simply have more opportunity for sexual variety than my husband does because of the receptivity of other men. I don't really have a "type" per se but to the extent that my husband provides ample tender loving care I suppose I do tend towards more aggressive physical types among my lovers.

Most of my lovers are ongoing relationships. They aren't as close as my husband and they do not compete for my love. But they are close intimate relationships that involve real feelings. I rarely have one-night stands. And I do enjoy sex more with someone with whom I have a personal connection.

I am not big on the term "bull" and I am not submissive with my lovers. In general I dislike the image of a wife seeking a better man to supplant her husband. That is not what is happening with me. I am putting my own sexuality first - respectful of others but not subservient. To the extent that my husband or other men play a submissive role that is because we each enjoy those dynamics, not because I compel or require that.

My husband has always been fairly accepting of my sexual proclivities and reasonably able to separate sex from love. Of course he has experienced insecurities and angst, but his attraction to my sexual appetite is more powerful than his jealousy. That mix has trended to the supportive over time with his jealousy fading and his attraction to my sexuality intensifying. Once he accepted that we would have asymmetrical sexual dynamics it was apparent that he enjoyed the fetish aspects of cuckolding and exploring his bi-sexuality.

 

[Scareltt]

The catalyst was when I cheated. I confessed right away and in the process of talking it out it became clear that I needed more sexually. We tried an open marriage for a while. But his heart wasn't in that in the sense that he didn't want other women and I was already satisfying his sexual needs (whereas the opposite wasn't so). We effectively drifted into a hotwife/cuckold dynamic by default because he stopped seeking other women. But he sort of still felt like he was supposed to pursue them more so I took the initiative to ask him to embrace the lifestyle and put his focus on me in exchange for which I would make an extra effort to satisfy all hie sexual needs and explore whatever he wanted to explore. He embraced this readily and I think that taking that formal step helped put his mind and heart more at ease.

I would not say that my approach to my husband changed all that much at first. If anything I would say that I tried to be more attentive and appreciative but he would say that I became a bit more self confident and assertive in expressing my needs (after all that was the deal we made). However, once we codified our new arrangement and started to explore our respective roles it became apparent that we both liked it when I was in charge so we eventually adopted an FLR more explicitly. I think that much like a clear agreement to enter the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle these explicit agreements helped set parameters and gave us an opportunity to talk clearly about how things would be.

We do not have any rules about my sexual activities with other men. I am expected to respect our commitment to one another and be open if things change, you otherwise there is no list of do's and don'ts. I actually find that if anything this really helps me focus better on balance than rules would. I get to indulge myself, but if I act in a way that is irresponsible or hurtful towards my husband that is all one me and I have nothing to hide behind.

Yes we engage in fetish play. It evolved bit by bit over time. He liked licking my pussy after dates which led to him eating cream pies and eventually embracing his bi-sexual side. I started putting his cock in a cage as a sort of play when I went out on a date - at first I asked and broached it gently but when it became clear that he liked it I took control, etc.

Ultimately I cuckold my husband because I need more sexually. He is a wonderful lover but I don't know any one man who is enough for me. And I have always appreciated variety and had ample opportunity to indulge that desire for variety. Opportunity is a key thing here - as it is with a lot of couples I simply have more opportunity for sexual variety than my husband does because of the receptivity of other men. I don't really have a "type" per se but to the extent that my husband provides ample tender loving care I suppose I do tend towards more aggressive physical types among my lovers.

Most of my lovers are ongoing relationships. They aren't as close as my husband and they do not compete for my love. But they are close intimate relationships that involve real feelings. I rarely have one-night stands. And I do enjoy sex more with someone with whom I have a personal connection.

I am not big on the term "bull" and I am not submissive with my lovers. In general I dislike the image of a wife seeking a better man to supplant her husband. That is not what is happening with me. I am putting my own sexuality first - respectful of others but not subservient. To the extent that my husband or other men play a submissive role that is because we each enjoy those dynamics, not because I compel or require that.

My husband has always been fairly accepting of my sexual proclivities and reasonably able to separate sex from love. Of course he has experienced insecurities and angst, but his attraction to my sexual appetite is more powerful than he jealousy. That mix has trended to the supportive over time with us jealousy fading and his attraction to my sexuality intensifying. Once he accepted that we would have asymmetrical sexual dynamics it was apparent that he enjoyed the fetish aspects of cuckolding and exploring his bi-sexuality.

I love reading how Wife Led Marriages evolve.

 

[pixie07]

1. I had always wanted to see my wife have sex with another man and that fantasy evolved into her cuckolding me. but she said that was never going to happen because she loved me and couldn’t see herself humiliating me like that. that changed at a super bowl party when a really arrogant friend of ours that she didn’t even like kept hitting on her all game and by the 4th quarter she was in our bed having sex with him .

2. Never another women. My wife has always said she couldn’t deal with me being with a different women so it was never pursued. I’m naturally submissive so I fell right into the cuckold role.

3. It’s definitely an agreement. She is able to be with others I am faithful.

4. Yes everything changed she is in charge of everything from household finances to raising our daughter.( she is 18 and has know for a while that we are in a cuckold relationship)

5. 2 rules one was condoms must always be used. That has changed a couple years into there relationship as her main boyfriend didn’t like condoms so he told her either no condom or no him. He also didn’t like that I got to have sex with her without one so he talked her into making me wear one so now I wear the condom and he gets her bareback . The other is I have no say in what men she has sex with. The rules are there so I know who is in charge.

6. I don’t quite know what is described as a fetish. One thing she does do is she will put me in a chastity device and then give the key to someone who it will be humiliating to ask for the key back. One person she loves to give it to is my mother who loves her boyfriend almost as much as she loves me I think. I also am made to wear women's panties , all thongs..

7. When she first cuckolded me I think it was to please me but she quickly found she love it as much as I do. What she seeks from other men is dominance I don’t have it in me and she has grown to love a dominant man to take charge of her even though she hates that part on her a little bit cause she is very much a pro strong independent woman type. Her type is dominant almost arrogant man with average to slightly below average looks. Must have a bigger cock then me.

8. Most are just lovers but she does have one main boyfriend ( the one from the party) . She is completely submissive to him and he dominants her . He gets he do do things I can only dream about. He is always welcome at our house and even goes on vacation with us when he can. He recently took my wife and daughter on a cruise when i couldn’t go.

9. She has multiple lovers but one boyfriend. Her lovers she will call both bulls or lovers depending on what they prefer but her boyfriend is always called her boyfriend.

10. She is completely submissive to them. They have total control over her.

11. I just enjoy watching dominant men do thing to my wife that I can’t do . I get off on it almost as much as she does while she is with them. At this point Neither me nor my wife could be in a normal relationship .


I have been fortunate to correspond with many people on Lit and elsewhere and IRL on the topic of being a hot wife or cuckold. I am thinking of publishing a new piece primarily on my anecdotal observations about the cuckold's perspective. I have gathered a lot of content just from discussion with you all, but I would like to ask a few questions specifically in order to get your feedback. Please feel free to post here or PM me. For this purpose I think of a hot wife/cuckold relationship as simply being one in which her side of the marriage is open but his is not. And I am directing these questions at actual cuckolds as well as aspiring cuckolds. The input of actual or aspiring hit wives is also welcome.

What led you to the role of cuckold? Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your wife initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off?

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration? If not why did you never consider pursuing other women? If it was a consideration what led you to leave that behind and embrace being a cuckold?

Is the role of cuckold and the attendant limitation on your sexual activities with other women something that is defined by an explicit agreement with your wife or just something that came to be in an unspoken way?

Did your wife's attitude or approach to your personal interactions change in any way after she started cuckolding you?

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules?

Do you engage in fetish play? Do you want to? How has that evolved over time?

Why did your wife choose to cuckold you? What is it that she seeks from other men? What is her "type" when choosing a sexual partner if you can define it?

Are her lovers purely sex partners or does she have a greater connection to them? Can you tell me anything about those relationships?

Does your wife have multiple lovers or one boyfriend? How does she feel about the term "bull" as opposed to "lover" or "boyfriend"?

Is she in control in her extra-marital sexual relationships or is she more submissive with the other men?

What is it that you enjoy about being a cuckold and how has that evolved over time?

I feel like I could go on and on, but that is enough for now. Of course anything else that you would like to add or embellish is welcome. Like I said I do intend to use any feedback I get to write a new piece, but it will all be aggregated information that won't even make reference to any online names. And while I do often express strong views it does all come from a place of respecting all parties in this lifestyle. In particular I hold all the supportive cuckolds in very high regard.

 

[IARainman]

Aspiring fantasy cuckhold here…. Wondering a few things from your narrative on your evolution. Obviously I don’t expect answers to anything you don’t want to share ( there is still privacy and I respect that, but you’ve been so open, I have to ask.)

Does he still like to clean up messes you come home with and do you enjoy having him do so?

Does he do any ritual reclaiming as happens in some hotwife relationships?

Can you foresee him ever interacting with your lovers? To fluff them perhaps? And/or insert them into you?( a hot image in my brain)

 

[policywank]

We have not chatted for a while and I am always interested to read your well considered opinions as well as your wonderful libido. Your comments on your hubby’s position as a cuckold role is so positive and caring. I was not aware of his exploration of bisexuality and think that could be hot for both of you. Has he exercised any m/m sex yet or mainly considering the options?

He has engaged in m/m sex. Like a lot of cuckolds he doesn't find men particularly attractive (at least not the way he sees women) but he enjoys sucking cock and the sensation of being penetrated. That really started with me pegging him. Once he realized that he enjoyed the sensation it only seemed natural to want to try it with a real cock.

 

[policywank]

Hav

Have you had the chance to watch him suck a cock? Did watching arouse you? Have you watched him being penetrated by a man?

Yes I have watched him do both. It was arousing but I would say I was more focussed on enjoying his arousal.

 

[eroticspank]

@policywank, thank you for your story and responses. I think the key to your success is communication. You told your husband what you needed in the bedroom and you guys worked it out eventually into what you have now.

After reading your comments, I think I have met a cuckold couple, or at least one that was starting out like one. Years ago when I lived in the Midwest, my girlfriend and I met a couple that were Swingers. We saw them a lot at a local bar and one day they told us that they are Swingers. I was shocked. I had never met a swinger before and thought it was something they did overseas. Later on, we met several couples that did swinging but that is another story.

Long story short, I wanted to know more about how they started and why they choose to swing. I talked with the guy while my gf talked to the wife. The guy told me that his wife is the one who got them into swinging. She had a high sex drive but wanted to keep her eye on her husband and who he was having sex with. He was not interested in fucking a lot of other women. He was just interested in his wife. She liked having different partners but her husband did not, or not as many as she wanted.

I think she was trying to get her husband to have different partners so she could be okay with having many partners herself. I don't know that for sure, that is just my opinion. He told me he was okay with her having other partners and that he knew it was just sex. He was not jealous.

I don't know if they evolved into a cuckold relationship but that is the closest I have come to meeting a cuckold couple. I did meet other swinger couples and most of them seemed to be run by the woman. I was really surprised that the woman was the person that got the couple into the swing scene. Or similar to described above, the woman was initially reluctant to try swinging, but then really enjoyed it and took over the bedroom relationship.

ES

 

[thefireman73]

When first dating, wife and I got into having sex with other couples. I learned that I really just liked watching her with another guy. After we married, we decided on an open relationship.
When first dating, we had a regular relationship. Few yrs later I discovered she was seeing another guy. It crushed me but also turned me on. After marriage, wife and I got into having sex with other couples. I learned that I really just liked watching her with another guy. So we decided on an open relationship. I never had interest in pursuing it but she did an had several bfs. She was also the dominant one in our marriage. I found myself very interested in the other guys she dated. Consider myself bi now.

We have a few safety rules. She tells me who she is seeing and texts me when she’s with him just so I know if she’ll be late etc.

 

[betabrad]

I have problems in bed. Right now I am single and not seeing anyone, but I know that if I am lucky enough to find a woman that will be in a relationship with me, if she wants sex, she'll have to have it with another man. I am just meant to be in a cuckold relationship, and I am fine with that. In fact, it turns me on.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

@policywank Policy, I’ve read your posts with interest, and as you seem to be this forums intellectual, I’d like to share my story with you as I think it may pertain to this thread. I’ve quoted it as this was a response I gave to a fellow Lit in a PM:

About 15yrs ago we started going to live music venues. Around town mostly but as we started following certain bands we would travel to music festivals to watch them. Sometimes fly to the west coast. I tell everyone it’s her mid-life crisis, and usually get a punch in the arm!

A certain band, west coast based, would come through town and we (she especially) took a shine to the lead singer. Nothing special in that, as a lot of women swoon over crooners. We got to know the band as they’re a mid tier band and would frequently come out and talk after the show. Over the course of several years and meet and greets and zoom chats for fans, my wife became a fixture and was well known in the fan community…a middle aged groupie!

She wasn’t they only one of course but she was invited into an inner circle so to speak of fans and one of the online games they play witch other is to send music titles to group members. Now it gets kind of weird here but bear with me. They send songs and the Recipients then infer what they want, hopefully the messages the sender wants them to receive. The singer has showered her with affection in this game and she has the hots even more for him.

We have always played a game of what celebrity we’d run off with…If Scarlett Johansson comes calling I’m gone…if Keven Costner comes calling she’s gone! So when she started dropping hints that if the singer rode up on a Harley and beeped, she’s gone. All fun and just fantasy. This is the first planet to align.

As we became regulars at these music venues and scenes, we started seeing the same people. She was on FaceSpace at this time and coupled with the fan site, she started getting attention from another female. Now my wife hasn’t admitted to being Bi or even having a schoolgirl fling in the past but she‘s always been very vocal about how she admires other women’s bodies, especially boobs. She then started getting some attention from one of the male fans who even offered to let her stay in his trailer at one the shows she attended in Washington St. A trip he knew I wouldn’t be attending.

So the second star aligned. A lot of attention from these three people and now the wheels start turning. This was about five yrs ago. So our pillow talk evolved into “could you do this or that’ with this or that person?

Selfishly I encouraged this. We’ve always had good lines of communication and honestly she’s the most sexually liberated person I’ve ever been in a serious relationship with. It was safe also. They were 3k miles away and wouldn’t come knocking on the door exactly. Possibly the first chink in the armor for me?

It was at this point she started telling me that she thought she could “love” two people. I then started telling her about polyamory as I had watched a movie about this guy out in AZ that runs a Poly workshop out of Sedona. This intrigued her but we never pursued it. We’ve never done threesomes or swapping so this was a big leap for both of us. It was just fun pillow talk that both got charged up about but had a kernel of truth underlying the whole thing.

The third planet to line up was we started watching some porn. We’d watched some before and even enjoyed it but she backed off and said it was unhealthy. On one of our music trips, I suggest we watch some videos on the iPad and just let her pick the vids. I quickly noticed she gravitated to MFM type vids. Spit roasting and some DP. The spit roasting in particular is the key to this. Our lovemaking was off the charts on this trip (it was a whole week vacation, no kids) and I’m not kidding when I say we did a two hr 69 session after watching. She just found the BJ’s to be so sexy and in turn I was the happy recipient of her not only doing it for me but on some level I think she thought that if she ever did get the chance of a backstage pass scenario she better be good at the Rock&Roll lifestyle things that go on there! (The last part of this paragraph was in response to the DM from the person I spoke of earlier).

So to wrap this novella up, those three things kind of reshaped our sex life. We are both mid to late 50’s so menopause has reared it’s ugly head and has really slowed things down over this last year.

To bring this full circle and in the spirit of your OP, nothing has happened up to this point, save the virtual flirting. I have green lighted any future hookup with her and the band member as she most certainly harbors feeling for him. We’ve been together for over 30 yrs, and all this I’ve posted, has definitely sparked our love life.

My question I guess is this considered Cuckolding in the fetish world? I will assume it fits the Merriam-Webster definition. Could this be considered a Hot Wife situation? I will admit that I started watching some porn with these themes as this has developed and while there is a certain allure, I’m not sure if I fit the paradigm in those vids. I don’t like the humiliation aspect of the cuckolding scene but I did enjoy the sharing of a wife mutually In the Hotwire scenarios. I have asked her if she would like to be shared between the two of us but she stated she wants to keep us separate. I think this may start falling into Polyamory territory?

This is all coming to a head so to speak next month. She is going to a concert without me and he without his wife. I’ve encouraged (selfishly as stated) this union but I’ll admit as we get closer to the Event Horizon I’m starting to feel pangs of jealousy. Did your husband go through this part of the journey? Up until now I’ve felt very enlightened about her doing this, and I’m going to honor her wishes.

This is something I haven’t/can’t talk to anyone about (at least in our circle) so thanks for letting me burn up some bandwidth! I hope it sheds some light into your original question, even in a round about way!

 

[Str4ng3rth4nf1ct1on]

Hi. I would like to add my own experience as a cuckolded husband but before I do, I wonder what level of detail you’re are looking for? Are you hoping for broad responses to your questions or something more in depth?

 

[screwher]

I have been fortunate to correspond with many people on Lit and elsewhere and IRL on the topic of being a hot wife or cuckold. I am thinking of publishing a new piece primarily on my anecdotal observations about the cuckold's perspective. I have gathered a lot of content just from discussion with you all, but I would like to ask a few questions specifically in order to get your feedback. Please feel free to post here or PM me. For this purpose I think of a hot wife/cuckold relationship as simply being one in which her side of the marriage is open but his is not. And I am directing these questions at actual cuckolds as well as aspiring cuckolds. The input of actual or aspiring hit wives is also welcome.

What led you to the role of cuckold? Is it something that you were drawn to right away or did it take a long time to build in your mind/heart? Did you initiate? Your wife initiate? Or perhaps some event (such as cheating) kicked it off?

It started the first time my wife cheated. At first I was pissed. It almost ruined us. But we kept it together and moved on. Soon after though her tryst started to arouse me. I started fantasizing and masturbating about her with other men. I secretly started hoping she’d do it again.

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration? If not why did you never consider pursuing other women? If it was a consideration what led you to leave that behind and embrace being a cuckold?

No. My wife would be crushed if I ever slept with another woman.

Is the role of cuckold and the attendant limitation on your sexual activities with other women something that is defined by an explicit agreement with your wife or just something that came to be in an unspoken way?

We’re a hotwife couple, not swingers. It just worked out for us that we both wanted Mrs. Screwher to have sex with other men. We decided as a couple to enter the lifestyle.

Did your wife's attitude or approach to your personal interactions change in any way after she started cuckolding you?

No.

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules?

My number rule or boundary is no sex with anyone on “my side” of our marriage. Meaning no friends, family, coworkers,etc. And I’d like to keep those people in the dark about our lifestyle. But any guys from her side are fair game. I also asked her to keep her activities open and honest with me. But recently I’ve been thinking about those moments where she cheated. I admit I get very aroused by them. So I’m thinking if there ever is a guy she’s fucking and doesn’t want to tell me, and I suspect she’s doing it, I’m just going to let it slide. And just enjoy the psychological thrill of knowing she’s cheating.

Do you engage in fetish play? Do you want to? How has that evolved over time?

“Fetish play” only in the way I like her to use her lover’s name on occasion when we’re screwing.

Why did your wife choose to cuckold you? What is it that she seeks from other men? What is her "type" when choosing a sexual partner if you can define it?

My wife was kind of a late bloomer. She had limited experience with men before. Only one bad relationship she regrets. Especially giving her virtue to him. So about three in our relationship, I feel she started getting restless and curious of other men. Which eventually led her to what I call her “slutty phase”. During that short period she dropped her panties for three other men. I suspect there may be more.
We’re in the lifestyle today because she still needs that variety.

Are her lovers purely sex partners or does she have a greater connection to them? Can you tell me anything about those relationships?

Purely sexual. After three decades together my wife and I are still crazy about each other. She only has those kind of emotions for me. And I only want her lovers to be interested in her for the pussy. Be respectful. But ultimately Jody come by our place. Have a great time in bed with her (or enjoy her at your place) but then say goodnight.

Does your wife have multiple lovers or one boyfriend? How does she feel about the term "bull" as opposed to "lover" or "boyfriend"?

She’s had two regular lovers going for a short period in the past. But is currently only at one. I like the term “bull”. But she prefers “boyfriend”.

Is she in control in her extra-marital sexual relationships or is she more submissive with the other men?

She’s in control with who she has sex with. But once she’s naked with him, she lets him decide how they’re going to fuck.

What is it that you enjoy about being a cuckold and how has that evolved over time?

I can’t really define why I enjoy other screwing my wife. The thought just gets me going and get that nice feeling in my cock.

I feel like I could go on and on, but that is enough for now. Of course anything else that you would like to add or embellish is welcome. Like I said I do intend to use any feedback I get to write a new piece, but it will all be aggregated information that won't even make reference to any online names. And while I do often express strong views it does all come from a place of respecting all parties in this lifestyle. In particular I hold all the supportive cuckolds in very high regard.

 

[eroticspank]

It started the first time my wife cheated. At first I was pissed. It almost ruined us. But we kept it together and moved on. Soon after though her tryst started to arouse me. I started fantasizing and masturbating about her with other men. I secretly started hoping she’d do it again.

No. My wife would be crushed if I ever slept with another woman.

We’re a hotwife couple, not swingers. It just worked out for us that we both wanted Mrs. Screwher to have sex with other men. We decided as a couple to enter the lifestyle.

No.

My number rule or boundary is no sex with anyone on “my side” of our marriage. Meaning no friends, family, coworkers,etc. And I’d like to keep those people in the dark about our lifestyle. But any guys from her side are fair game. I also asked her to keep her activities open and honest with me. But recently I’ve been thinking about those moments where she cheated. I admit I get very aroused by them. So I’m thinking if there ever is a guy she’s fucking and doesn’t want to tell me, and I suspect she’s doing it, I’m just going to let it slide. And just enjoy the psychological thrill of knowing she’s cheating.

“Fetish play” only in the way I like her to use her lover’s name on occasion when we’re screwing.

My wife was kind of a late bloomer. She had limited experience with men before. Only one bad relationship she regrets. Especially giving her virtue to him. So about three in our relationship, I feel she started getting restless and curious of other men. Which eventually led her to what I call her “slutty phase”. During that short period she dropped her panties for three other men. I suspect there may be more.
We’re in the lifestyle today because she still needs that variety.

Purely sexual. After three decades together my wife and I are still crazy about each other. She only has those kind of emotions for me. And I only want her lovers to be interested in her for the pussy. Be respectful. But ultimately Jody come by our place. Have a great time in bed with her (or enjoy her at your place) but then say goodnight.

She’s had two regular lovers going for a short period in the past. But is currently only at one. I like the term “bull”. But she prefers “boyfriend”.

She’s in control with who she has sex with. But once she’s naked with him, she lets him decide how they’re going to fuck.

I can’t really define why I enjoy other screwing my wife. The thought just gets me going and get that nice feeling in my cock.

Can you share what your regular screwing is like? It sounds like you have a good relationship is the physical part regular and better because of her liaisons?
ES

 

[Versa92646]

Good luck with your project, I would love to read a story that comes from your research.

What led you to the role of cuckold?

We were apart a few weeks and during our reunion lovemaking The Wife confessed an infidelity. That night we had the our best sex in years. Two adventures on a roadtrip soon afterwards firmly embedded the kink.

Was there ever a point at which reciprocity (i.e. both sides of the marriage open) was a consideration?

She suggested that I had the option but I really don’t have that desire. I LOVE watching her in action with strange men and having orgasms. Reclamation sex is amazing.

Do you and your wife have any rules associated with her sexual activities with other men? How have they evolved over time? What is the purpose of those rules?

Now it is strangers only. Our relationship is of ultimate importance, we just use the men to enhance our sexlife.

Hope this helps.

 

[policywank]

@policywank Policy, I’ve read your posts with interest, and as you seem to be this forums intellectual, I’d like to share my story with you as I think it may pertain to this thread. I’ve quoted it as this was a response I gave to a fellow Lit in a PM:



To bring this full circle and in the spirit of your OP, nothing has happened up to this point, save the virtual flirting. I have green lighted any future hookup with her and the band member as she most certainly harbors feeling for him. We’ve been together for over 30 yrs, and all this I’ve posted, has definitely sparked our love life.

My question I guess is this considered Cuckolding in the fetish world? I will assume it fits the Merriam-Webster definition. Could this be considered a Hot Wife situation? I will admit that I started watching some porn with these themes as this has developed and while there is a certain allure, I’m not sure if I fit the paradigm in those vids. I don’t like the humiliation aspect of the cuckolding scene but I did enjoy the sharing of a wife mutually In the Hotwire scenarios. I have asked her if she would like to be shared between the two of us but she stated she wants to keep us separate. I think this may start falling into Polyamory territory?

This is all coming to a head so to speak next month. She is going to a concert without me and he without his wife. I’ve encouraged (selfishly as stated) this union but I’ll admit as we get closer to the Event Horizon I’m starting to feel pangs of jealousy. Did your husband go through this part of the journey? Up until now I’ve felt very enlightened about her doing this, and I’m going to honor her wishes.

This is something I haven’t/can’t talk to anyone about (at least in our circle) so thanks for letting me burn up some bandwidth! I hope it sheds some light into your original question, even in a round about way!

I feel as though the situation you describe would fall into the realm of cuckolding or hot wifing since your interest seems to be primarily in her sexual activity with another man with no indication of you wanting to be with another woman. All the porn and kink stuff is extraneous - some people like it but it isn't for them to define. Depending how she feels there could be an element of polyamory as well - that isn't mutually exclusive with hot wifing in my view, but it does involve a longer and deeper commitment.

It is normal I believe for a wife to have intimate feelings for her lovers. In fact it is more natural IMO than the expectation that it will always be purely physical. Still this seems to be an area where things get blurry for all parties. Those intimate feelings are likely to generate some jealousy in the husband and confusion for the wife. It helps to eliminate any pre-conceived notions about what that means. Her affections are not finite. The intimate feelings she has for this other man do not take away from the feelings she has for you. And they do not automatically mean she is in love with him to the degree that she wants to enter into along-term commitment with him - either exclusively or as part of a polyamorous arrangement.

IMO the basic pre-eminence of monogamy in society is not rooted in human nature so much as it is societal engineering. That is a whole other topic, but the point being that the idea that we are naturally monogamous means that the prospect of another man enjoying your wife's affections automatically represents a threat to you. And no matter how enlightened you are that is difficult to shake off because it is so deeply conditioned into us.

Yes my husband went through feelings of jealousy and it wasn't so much because of the sex as it was because I do have intimate relationships with my partners. That is often the hardest part. But again that is because we are conditioned to see intimate feelings as exclusive. We don't feel that way about friends or other loved ones. The premise that our SO having intimate feelings towards another person has negative consequences for us is fundamentally flawed. But it is deeply imbedded in our psyche and so I think it takes time to actually experience it to find a way to embrace an alternative view.

It is important to understand that we don't control our emotions. We may have some control over how we respond to them but we can't just shut them off and on at will. It sounds like your wife does have intimate feelings for this man. She can't turn that off. And if she (or you) tries to reconcile it to a conventional view of relationships it will lead to an erroneous conclusion. It is better that you both allow those feelings to manifest themselves honestly with as little distortion as possible from conventional views of intimate relationships. But that is easier said than done and it will take time to get comfortable with it.

 

[policywank]

Hi. I would like to add my own experience as a cuckolded husband but before I do, I wonder what level of detail you’re are looking for? Are you hoping for broad responses to your questions or something more in depth?

I like to get as much depth and detail as possible, but all responses are appreciated and valued.

 

[Bbl87]

No. My wife would be crushed if I ever slept with another woman.

This isn't a statement if judgment, more just trying to understand... I have a hard time reconciling her cheating and subsequently having sexual relationships with other men, but being crushed at the idea of you doing the same with women.

Like, I get if it's something you both mutually agreed to and you specifically committed to it, and going back on that would be a breach of trust.

Like I said, just trying to understand that dynamic. I've thought about what an open marriage might look like for us should my wife ever seem like she'd be into it, and honestly I'm not sure she'd be that keen to find another man, so it might end up as a cuckquean dynamic should it ever happen, but I'd have a hard time expecting her to be faithful while I wasn't IF it's what she desired.

 

[Str4ng3rth4nf1ct1on]

I like to get as much depth and detail as possible, but all responses are appreciated and valued.

Thanks for replying. Whilst I have no real issues being open within this thread, I do intend to write my experience on the storyboard at some point and don’t want to pre-empt that. Would you be happy for me to message you privately? I don’t want to seem presumptuous and do so without asking you first.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

I feel as though the situation you describe would fall into the realm of cuckolding or hot wifing since your interest seems to be primarily in her sexual activity with another man with no indication of you wanting to be with another woman. All the porn and kink stuff is extraneous - some people like it but it isn't for them to define. Depending how she feels there could be an element of polyamory as well - that isn't mutually exclusive with hot wifing in my view, but it does involve a longer and deeper commitment.

It is normal I believe for a wife to have intimate feelings for her lovers. In fact it is more natural IMO than the expectation that it will always be purely physical. Still this seems to be an area where things get blurry for all parties. Those intimate feelings are likely to generate some jealousy in the husband and confusion for the wife. It helps to eliminate any pre-conceived notions about what that means. Her affections are not finite. The intimate feelings she has for this other man do not take away from the feelings she has for you. And they do not automatically mean she is in love with him to the degree that she wants to enter into along-term commitment with him - either exclusively or as part of a polyamorous arrangement.

IMO the basic pre-eminence of monogamy in society is not rooted in human nature so much as it is societal engineering. That is a whole other topic, but the point being that the idea that we are naturally monogamous means that the prospect of another man enjoying your wife's affections automatically represents a threat to you. And no matter how enlightened you are that is difficult to shake off because it is so deeply conditioned into us.

Yes my husband went through feelings of jealousy and it wasn't so much because of the sex as it was because I do have intimate relationships with my partners. That is often the hardest part. But again that is because we are conditioned to see intimate feelings as exclusive. We don't feel that way about friends or other loved ones. The premise that our SO having intimate feelings towards another person has negative consequences for us is fundamentally flawed. But it is deeply imbedded in our psyche and so I think it takes time to actually experience it to find a way to embrace an alternative view.

It is important to understand that we don't control our emotions. We may have some control over how we respond to them but we can't just shut them off and on at will. It sounds like your wife does have intimate feelings for this man. She can't turn that off. And if she (or you) tries to reconcile it to a conventional view of relationships it will lead to an erroneous conclusion. It is better that you both allow those feelings to manifest themselves honestly with as little distortion as possible from conventional views of intimate relationships. But that is easier said than done and it will take time to get comfortable with it.

Thank you policywank for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your views on this.

Oddly enough I brought this topic up to her (What she is experiencing being Poly/cuckolding/hotwife) after my original post and she had what I thought was an odd reaction to it. Paraphrasing, she didn’t want to “Label” what she/we are doing? I can understand her reaction as she may not have fully dealt with her emotions about going forward with this. I wasn’t really prepared for how vehement she was though.

I think it may be more important to me to attach a label to it instead of just letting an organic feeling/action take root. This is something we’ll obviously have to work through. If I had to put a label on it (maybe she’s right about not labeling) I think I’d be more comfortable with Poly. I can’t really put it into words why, but maybe it’s some of the negative connotations in the porn I’ve watched. The only problem with her being Poly with this man is his wife is most assuredly NOT on board with this arrangement. For reference we’ve all met and partied together at music festivals. I don’t know them well or as well as my wife but enough to know.

I definitely agree that monogamous relationships are a function of polite society and not human nature. My wife also has said this multiple times as we’ve discussed our feelings about the arrangement we’ve found ourselves in. She has expressed a strong interest to pursue this and I wont stand in the way.

We did lay down some ground rules and one was if I wanted to explore, then that would be OK (the female screened by her) but to quote yourself, “men don’t have the same opportunities as women” (paraphrasing of course!) nor do I have the time at this point in my life to chase skirt. Unless it drops in my lap (unlikely) then I’m just going to focus on her side of the fantasy.

Thanks again for letting me use you as a sounding board! Have a good day!