Cuckold Survey

[liqueur]

As far as the definition of "cuckold," I stand by my premise that it only requires a man to have an unfaithful wife, and take Webster's Dictionary to be the standard.

You're entirely right about the strict definition of the term. What I was talking about was the time honored (as in, for centuries) connotation of the term and how that makes it different from the modern “hot wife.” No debate intended; I'm sorry if it came across that way.

 

[jimmyturtleman]

No problem. Just re-stating my premise. Again, thank you for your valuable input.

 

[lil_pete]

1) How long have you been married?
Together 16 years & married 11

2) How long into your marriage before your wife cuckolded you?
-1 or -2 it was one or two years before we married that I got to witness her with another

3) Was it a one time affair, or is it an ongoing thing?
Number one and number two were both one time as they lacked a little something. Third times a charm, he had something, something more & then something even more! Yes ongoing.

4) Is her Bull, someone that you both knew prior, or a complete stranger to you?

Being more ENM she/we don’t refer to them as Bull’s however here… A mix, more toward strangers.

5) Does your wife meet with him regularly? And where do they meet?
Her favourite (a mutual friend) lives interstate so it’s a once, maybe twice yearly and that will be in our hotel room. Closer to home, early meets are always Hotel, occasionally motel when only option. Longer term lovers same occasionally their home, never our home.

6) Has it improved or deteriorated the bond between you and your wife? Either way, can you explain how it has?

Absolutely 100% improved our bond. I do not believe one can have this type of lifestyle without great communication, total trust and a whole lot of love!

7) Do you and your wife still have sex? How does it differ from what it used to be like?

From the beginning it began to drop off as I expected and we haven’t had intercourse for sometime and will not anytime in the future. She will use other methods if I ask but I rarely do as I can get myself off with ease.

8) What benefits/fears has her affair(s) created? Does she support you emotionally when you are in need?

For a brief time in the beginning I had a slight fear she may leave me for the bigger better lover which just showed my lack of understanding. The benefits are that I provide everything that she could want except for that good sex. No to the support, I have never needed it.

9) Has your wife changed her attitudes towards sex? Does she dress more provocatively? Does she talk more about sex?

This is a good one and will go totally against the flow; I’m not really sure about the first part (attitudes) YES to the second, tight leggings, athletic tights showing the gap and a delicious CT and YES to the third, especially in the dirty bedroom talk. All this is for my benefit and it’s very arousing!

10) Do any other family members know about her new 'Hotwife' ways?

Yes, my Aunt and a cousin (her daughter) and my wife’s older sister.

11) Are you happier in your marriage now, or has it put a strain on it? How do you support or encourage her?

N/A

12) Are there any mistakes you can warn others not to make?

For us some very minor ones, online acquaintances can be full of …. so use common sense and double triple check… Also online you will find plenty of fanciful, fantasy driven, porn tinted glasses… again; use common sense.

13) Would you advise others to take up the cuckold lifestyle, if given the chance?

IF this is a super hot button for one of you then Absolutely YES.
There are three things I believe are very important.

1. Great communication both ways

2. Your bond is that of Best Friends

3. I can only speak on this as a husband – An unconditional love for her… Picture watching her having sex, sex that is superior, be it with younger fitter smoother or the king; a much larger penis.
If that invokes any negatives, don’t do it.
Early on I would briefly wish I had that large penis and I could do for her what I was observing, however; then, now and every time I love her joy, the sounds she makes, her body reactions, her facial expressions, her climaxes. I LOVE seeing her have her sexual needs met, it’s a beautiful thing!

 

[write_or_wrong]

Thank you for your very candid and detailed answers. It appears to have not worked out for you, but as you mentioned, your marriage was on shaky ground when it began.

As far as the definition of "cuckold," I stand by my premise that it only requires a man to have an unfaithful wife, and take Webster's Dictionary to be the standard. Different couples
may explore different options, like denial of sex for the husband, or open humiliation, but those are on a case by case basis, and NOT necessarily standard ingredients.

Again, thank you for your input.

For many couples, the wife has her husband's permission and even encouragement to have sex with other men. Those couples don't seem to feel that she is cheating when she does so. If that issue makes your survey answers harder to analyze, you might alter the Webster definition from "is unfaithful" to "has sex with other men."

 

[jimmyturtleman]

It's not up to me to alter a Webster definition. I stand by my usage of the term, as it is defined. Even if she is having "sex with other men", as you suggest, she is still being unfaithful, "with permission."

 

[Tom_Brown]

I decided to do the survey to give a different point of view.

First: I was the one who wanted, encouraged, and initiated my wife fucking other men. I have always had a partner showing/sharing fetish, but my did not. She was raised in a Christian household and sex outside of marriage was unheard of. It took me over 15 years of begging for her to finally allow another man to fuck her.

She fucked him on only two occasions and a masseur once, on another occasion. I was there for each of the meetups.

We have not had sex for over 10 years and I’m assuming that she’s had other lovers in that time period, but she always denies that she has (even when I tell her that I hope that she has and for her to be honest with me).

Here are my responses:

1) How long have you been married?
30 + years.

2) How long into your marriage before your wife cuckolded you?
It was 15 years before she fucked another man.


3) Was it a one time affair, or is it an ongoing thing?
It was supposed to be a 1x event, but turned into 2x.
After we stopped having sex, I wouldn’t be surprised if she contacted him to fuck her again.


4) Is her Bull, someone that you both knew prior, or a complete stranger to you?
We signed up for Adult Freind Finder and found him there.


5) Does your wife meet with him regularly? And where do they meet?
Not that I know of

6) Has it improved or deteriorated the bond between you and your wife? Either way, can you explain how it has?
At first it improved our sex life because I kept replaying (in my head) them together and I don’t doubt that she reminisced fucking him.
Later, I think it hurt our relationship because she felt guilty for fucking another man.


7) Do you and your wife still have sex? How does it differ from what it used to be like?
No. We sleep in separate rooms and haven’t had sex in over 10 years.


8) What benefits/fears has her affair(s) created? Does she support you emotionally when you are in need?
None. No.


9) Has your wife changed her attitudes towards sex? Does she dress more provocatively? Does she talk more about sex?

Her fucking him hasn’t changed anything.

She just doesn’t want sex anymore

She dresses conservatively

The subject of sex is never talked about (unless I’m asking her to fuck me).


10) Do any other family members know about her new 'Hotwife' ways?
No


11) Are you happier in your marriage now, or has it put a strain on it? How do you support or encourage her?
We were happier then, but now it has no bearing


12) Are there any mistakes you can warn others not to make?

I think the events were very fulfilling for all parties.


13) Would you advise others to take up the cuckold lifestyle, if given the chance?
Absolutely! If both parties are on board, go for it!

 

[LeeKee]

I know the cuckold topic is getting over used lately, but I just need to ask a few questions of my fellow husbands who have been cuckolded in real life. (Those wannabe cucks can participate, but kindly identify yourself as such.) First off, my definition of a cuckold, and the one supported by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is simply put ; a man whose wife is unfaithful

Starting from there, let me explain that I consider myself to be the cuckold/stag. My wife is the Hotwife/Vixen, and her boyfriend/lover is her Bull. Now let me ask you;

1) How long have you been married?
A long time. 50 + years.

2) How long into your marriage before your wife cuckolded you?
20 years.


3) Was it a one time affair, or is it an ongoing thing?
My best guess is that her first affair went on for about a year. My wife says it was much shorter. Her current affair has been ongoing for 8 months now and there is no sign of it slowing down anytime soon.


4) Is her Bull, someone that you both knew prior, or a complete stranger to you?
He was known to me as a passing acquaintance to me, and an old High School boyfriend of my wife. They reconnected on Face Book after 50 years.


5) Does your wife meet with him regularly? And where do they meet?
There are daily chats going on between the two of them, but the physical distance (125 miles) is a bit of a problem meeting in person. They have hooked up twice in hotel rooms and plan on doing so in the next couple of weeks. My wife insists that she wants to have once a month, in person, meetings with him. With some being Date Nights, some overnight stays, and possibly longer. The idea of an all inclusive vacation has also been discussed. Possibly a cruise with the three of us, in two separate cabins. My wife and her Bull are not comfortable with me watching or participating.

6) Has it improved or deteriorated the bond between you and your wife? Either way, can you explain how it has?
It has caused some stress between us, but overall, it has been a long time coming. I have been unable to 'perform' for many years now, and hinting that she might need to find another man to take care of her physical needs. I guess she does listen to me.


7) Do you and your wife still have sex? How does it differ from what it used to be like?
We had no sex for over 8 years and very little for the two years previous to that. In the last month and a half, the sex has been phenomenal. Not that I can an erection, but oral and manual masturbation is fantastic. I am hoping to return to the good old days of fucking her like a stallion, but I am afraid those days are gone forever. I just want to be able to have intercourse with her when and if she wants me to.


8) What benefits/fears has her affair(s) created? Does she support you emotionally when you are in need?
My wife is much more at ease lately, not constantly on edge. She seems to be much calmer and relaxed, and above ALL, she is happier than she has been in a long time. For me, the sex I can enjoy makes me happier than I have been in a long time too. Her Bull is also in a much happier place too. The biggest fear that I have is the fear of being left out in the cold and losing my wife. Be honest with her and ask for her reassurances. And be ready to give her the same reassurances, that you love each other just as much as ever.


9) Has your wife changed her attitudes towards sex? Does she dress more provocatively? Does she talk more about sex?
Absolutely. Being a Mother and holding down a job outside the home is a terrific drain on anyone's time and energy. Time for sex is sparse. My wife asked me one day when our kids were young, how did I expect her to be this 'perfect 'Mom' all day long, then turn into a 'wanton slut' the minute we were alone in the bedroom. I couldn't answer her with any degree of honesty. Now, with grown children and grandchildren, she can devote her time to being the Hotwife, she always wanted to be. It was there all along. She just needed the time and energy to bring it out. With that, she loves to dress sexier, tight leggings, low cut tops, sexy lingerie from V.S. And she is not afraid to talk about getting fucked, sucking cock or having her pussy licked.


10) Do any other family members know about her new 'Hotwife' ways?
Not as far as we know, but what can you do if they do find out. Make no excuses for what we enjoy.


11) Are you happier in your marriage now, or has it put a strain on it? How do you support or encourage her?
We are happier with our sex today, than we were a year ago, or five years ago, or ten years ago. As for the rest of our life, we were never unhappy with it. We have always loved each other and treated one another as 'best' friends. We travel, enjoy movies, walking on the beach, holding hands, cruises, and just watching television together


12) Are there any mistakes you can warn others not to make?
Be absolutely sure that you can handle this type of lifestyle. Have times where you can discuss any issues that come up. Make it about 'her' and pleasing her needs and desires. Try not to make it about you and what you want. Her Bull should also be told this is a sexual relationship, not courting'


13) Would you advise others to take up the cuckold lifestyle, if given the chance?
If your wife needs things that you can not provide, like 'good' sex, then you might want to consider it. No sense pushing it on her, then it becomes all about you, not her. Let her make up her own mind as to who to have sex with. Your idea of a perfect sex partner for your wife may not be close to who she would pick. Be tolerant and respectful of her choice(s). Remember, sex is just sex. It really does not equate to love. Love can be included, but it is not necessarily.


Please answer honestly, and in as much detail as possible. My answers to these questions is included..

Ive had many women tell me that sex is not just sex. Its much more to many women. Its just sex to most men, but to the majority of women whom I have talked to about this have told me that its deeper than "mechanical friction"

Im sure this is not the case always.

 

[marriedpervs]

Ive had many women tell me that sex is not just sex. Its much more to many women. Its just sex to most men, but to the majority of women whom I have talked to about this have told me that its deeper than "mechanical friction"

Im sure this is not the case always.

Hi LeeKee,
As a woman let me share the alternative view. There have been many times where I have enjoyed wonderful, pure sex without any desire or need for a deeper connection. I have slept with many men who were wonderful in bed but I have no desire for anything more than to enjoy the experience. I don't think gender is the factor in this issue, just individual need.

 

[CJamarous]

Hi LeeKee,
As a woman let me share the alternative view. There have been many times where I have enjoyed wonderful, pure sex without any desire or need for a deeper connection. I have slept with many men who were wonderful in bed but I have no desire for anything more than to enjoy the experience. I don't think gender is the factor in this issue, just individual need.

Couldn't agree more with this!

 

[liqueur]

to the majority of women whom I have talked to about this have told me that its deeper than "mechanical friction"

Im sure this is not the case always.

No it definitely isn't. It's also not true that for all men it's just mechanical (most men? maybe...) but I'm sure it is true of more women than men..