Do you hide your sexual needs from your significant other?

[inadequate]

I recently opened up about a lot of it and felt like I was accepted for having them, but getting them met is a non-starter. I almost wish I had never opened up at all.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I recently opened up about a lot of it and felt like I was accepted for having them, but getting them met is a non-starter. I almost wish I had never opened up at all.

Well, give it some time, ultimately, if your partner chose to listen to you and stay with you, I think you are both better for it.

Why do you feel you shouldn’t have spoken to her?

 

[inadequate]

Well, give it some time, ultimately, if your partner chose to listen to you and stay with you, I think you are both better for it.

Why do you feel you shouldn’t have spoken to her?

It's hard to share fantasies with someone who doesn't have any. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

 

[Vitriolhack]

It's hard to share fantasies with someone who doesn't have any. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

There is NOTHING wrong with you, fantasies are normal.

In fact the opposite is true, rare are those that have no fantasies.

 

[SymoreButtz]

My partner and I are kinky but his sex drive is alot less. Its frustrating and chat here has led to new needs and kinks i don't share with him

Well I'm in about the same saturation as you, and what looks to be a lot others on here in the same boat. Wife and I sex drive has taken 2 different roads in the last 10 years. Hers has been going down hill, while mine has been like a rocket. Going straight up at the speed of light. I can't even talk about sex or make offhanded comments thats sexually in nature without getting that look of "really" But trust me, you will find someway or person to fill your needs with or without your partner./wife/husband. If they don't want to come along for the ride, then so be it.
So it's easier to find someone or someplace (lit among others) that you can talk with about or act on your likes, fantasies, and kinks....

 

[Vitriolhack]

Well I'm in about the same saturation as you, and what looks to be a lot others on here in the same boat. Wife and I sex drive has taken 2 different roads in the last 10 years. Hers has been going down hill, while mine has been like a rocket. Going straight up at the speed of light. I can't even talk about sex or make offhanded comments thats sexually in nature without getting that look of "really" But trust me, you will find someway or person to fill your needs with or without your partner./wife/husband. If they don't want to come along for the ride, then so be it.
So it's easier to find someone or someplace (lit among others) that you can talk with about or act on your likes, fantasies, and kinks....

Sexual indifference is often a manifestation of other issues.

Wishing you well.

 

[Deleted member 6789170]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

 

[Loves2lick4u]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

Will you tell him or just your LIT pals? At some time you will get to the point of wanting to take it past the watching others in a porn show and want to try some out in person. Right?

 

[Yarglenurp]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

porn addiction isn’t a good thing per se. But I think the rest is probably something he’d be up for if he’s already willing to try ddlg, victim/burglar role play, and choking. Just let it come out at a rate he’s comfortable with.

 

[Strixaluco]

porn addiction isn’t a good thing per se. But I think the rest is probably something he’d be up for if he’s already willing to try ddlg, victim/burglar role play, and choking. Just let it come out at a rate he’s comfortable with.

Ermm... No. At least incest role play is something that is not predicted by what he's already comfortable with, there's nothing similar in the first list.

 

[SmoothAndSweet]

Nope. I let them know on the first date

 

[Yarglenurp]

Ermm... No. At least incest role play is something that is not predicted by what he's already comfortable with, there's nothing similar in the first list.

Isn’t daddy/ddlg play incest? Or am I misunderstanding something?

 

[Strixaluco]

Isn’t daddy/ddlg play incest? Or am I misunderstanding something?

DD/lg is definitely NOT about incest. Not in the least.
Those playing with just daddy-kink are also often not into the DD/lg lifestyle.

 

[fredrock]

It is more like she ignores me...than i have to hide it.

 

[Yarglenurp]

DD/lg is definitely NOT about incest. Not in the least.
Those playing with just daddy-kink are also often not into the DD/lg lifestyle.

Well, clearly there’s a lot about that class of fetishes I don’t know about. I just assumed ddlg was literally role playing being a daddy’s daughter. The more I know, I suppose…

 

[Strixaluco]

Well, clearly there’s a lot about that class of fetishes I don’t know about. I just assumed ddlg was literally role playing being a daddy’s daughter. The more I know, I suppose…

One other name for it is caregiver/little. It's about caring and needing to be cared for and the possibility to let the childish side out.

Addition: it's more about a dynamic than a roleplay. Just like D/s. Some lucky ones live it 24/7/365.

 

[johnnyampleed]

Ive shared some of my kinks (i.e. daddy, ddlg, victim/burgular, spanking, choking, breastfeeding, submission) to him. He knows I watch porn and I record myself with dildos.
But
he doesnt know how addicted I am to porn , masturbating and confessing on Lit. He doesnt know my other kinks: Master/slave raceplay, age play, incest, religion, trib/frot, pillow humping etc

Keep some sex secrets from your SO. But, feel free to share with your fellow perverts here. This allows your Secret Self to breath and grow and gives the rest of us a sense of community that shares.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Keep some sex secrets from your SO. But, feel free to share with your fellow perverts here. This allows your Secret Self to breath and grow and gives the rest of us a sense of community that shares.

Are you saying we are a community of perverts?

And proud of it!

 

[Series 6]

I did when I was married. We were not sexually compatible and basically had a sexless marriage. I have a friend that I hook up with (albeit infrequently) that I feel I can openly tell her what I want to try/experience.

 

[Series 6]

Are you saying we are a community of perverts?

And proud of it!

Hey, if you can't reveal your perversions to your significant other, share it with us! We definitely want to hear about your depraved desires.

 

[Winchester3030]

Yes I definitely have to hide my desires even the most common mundane ones

 

[CanIpleaseU69]

I will admit that I have had more meaningful conversations on the lit chat with virtual strangers that with my wife.

Having tried to talk to her about it, I know how she would react and judge me.

I am not unhappy about the choices I have made, but, I am curious to know if others here are in the same boat I am in?

Yes I’m in the same situation - I still get horny and love anything sexy. I haven’t had sex with her for nearly three years, but I still have needs, so I search online also. Sometimes I Cam with others and we mutually masturbate. I wish she loved sex like I do.

 

[trinething1ns]

Oh we were in love. Things change. It’s fine. I’m dealing.

“It’s fine. I’m dealing” really resonated with me.

My partner and I love each other but like a deep friendship love, She is a great friend and roommate. She is smart, kind, forgiving, and has a great sense of humor. Except she is very conservative and has gotten upset when I brought things up. We have sex now, but didn’t for years. Vanilla, boring, missionary-with-the-lights-off sex.

Otherwise, things are great. I deal by having a couple friends with benefits. I write erotica and will start publishing some soon here, as an outlet. I masturbate. A lot.

I’m afraid of breaking up the marriage because I am afraid that I won’t find anyone who loves sex as much as I do but everything else is also great.

 

[Series 6]

“It’s fine. I’m dealing” really resonated with me.

My partner and I love each other but like a deep friendship love, She is a great friend and roommate. She is smart, kind, forgiving, and has a great sense of humor. Except she is very conservative and has gotten upset when I brought things up. We have sex now, but didn’t for years. Vanilla, boring, missionary-with-the-lights-off sex.

Otherwise, things are great. I deal by having a couple friends with benefits. I write erotica and will start publishing some soon here, as an outlet. I masturbate. A lot.

I’m afraid of breaking up the marriage because I am afraid that I won’t find anyone who loves sex as much as I do but everything else is also great.

I apologize if I’m intruding, but how long have you been married? And what was the sex like before you got married?

 

[trinething1ns]

I apologize if I’m intruding, but how long have you been married? And what was the sex like before you got married?

No worries, not intruding at all.

I have been married for 20 years. So, close to half my life. We didn’t have sex before marriage. It was a thing with her. I didn’t know any better at the time. If I could take it all back, I would only be in an open marriage, ideally.