Divorce and Separation

[MissTaken]

I just started a thread on the General Board for those of us healing from the demise of a long term relatinship would have a place to hang out, vent, rant, laugh or just talk and share experiences.

An open invite is extended, or if you rather, we could simply run a separate thread in the personal's forum.


Good morning all!

 

[Guest]

 

[ReBeLBeLLe]

Walks in with a big poster pic of my ex, tapes it to the wall and hands out the darts...*giggles*

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, time does heal.

Maybe I have a leg up on the five years in that we were emotionally divorced about five years ago. That is when the marraige ended.

Leaving last year was simply a "task." It was not the culmination of anything...just something that needed to happen.

 

[sortacurious]

I'm considering ending a 10 year relationship and would love to watch a thread like this to learn what I'm getting myself into.
What I remember of being single was not fun. So I've really drug my feet.

 

[MissTaken]

Lurk away, sortacurious and ask all the questions or comment as you wish.

Now, I am wishing that I had something like this while I was in the decision making process.

Being single can be more fun now. I do enjoy certain aspects of it, certainly.

It is a rather intimidating venture though.

hugs

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

How long has it been MT? What do you think of it so far?

I'm trying to be married again right now, sort of a last try. I'm really interested in the thoughts and observations of those who have gone through divorce.

 

[MissTaken]

I left him a year ago February after ten years, half of which were vacant and leading to more and more hurt for the kidlings and I.

Divorce was final in February

I have never looked back. He and I are both much better off, much happier. The children are definitely benefitting as well. (Long story.)


It isn't easy. The finances have taken a serious hit. Dating is fun. But, once ready for a new relationship, it is frustrating.

Realizing you have never truly loved, is it's own burden.

So.... a mixed bag, I guess.

 

[Wolf13]

Hi all, I guess I am what you call a Virgin Newbie.....yikes!! I am not sure I like that??

I have been seperated for 14 months after a twelve year marriage. The divorce process is under way but its tough especailly when custody is the main issue. I can tell you one thing..... I think I am living the fine line between love and hate with my Ex.

The good news is I have someone else and have been involved for about 8 months. The tough part is trying to figure out if it is rebound or real. I know I have experienced things that I would have never experienced in my marriage. I couldn't even imagine waiting for five years, I don't think I could take it.

Well that's it my first post!

 

[knightstalker]

I have been divorced for about two years now and do I miss my ex or did I ever miss her ..Hell no getting out of that shitty marriage was one of the best things I ever had happen to me...I still see my kids and I have met someone special if I was still married I probably would've gone mad by now...

 

[sortacurious]

I just tried on last time to see if they was any intimacy left in the relationship. I joined my s/o in the shower and when I intiated sex I got told I was too tight and too passionate! I didn't know that was possible . But, I guess that I'm great at blowjobs cuz that's all he'd let me do. Am I missing something here, or what?!

 

[knightstalker]

I just tried on last time to see if they was any intimacy left in the relationship. I joined my s/o in the shower and when I intiated sex I got told I was too tight and too passionate! I didn't know that was possible . But, I guess that I'm great at blowjobs cuz that's all he'd let me do. Am I missing something here, or what?!

Sounds to me like he is the one missing something and that would be one hella lady ...To tight and to passionate ummm what ecxactly does that mean I have never heard this before now...he sounds a little selfish if all that is going on is B.J.s what a shame..I am sorry to hear about this but gives me somethings to think about

 

[sortacurious]

Sounds to me like he is the one missing something and that would be one hella lady ...To tight and to passionate ummm what ecxactly does that mean I have never heard this before now...he sounds a little selfish if all that is going on is B.J.s what a shame..I am sorry to hear about this but gives me somethings to think about

Thanks sweetie, you made me laugh

 

[knightstalker]

Glad I could put a smile on that beautiful face of yours ..

 

[sortacurious]

You always do.
ok, time to take my lazy dog for a hike and work out this frustration. Talk to you all later

 

[MissTaken]

Gee Sorta!

Your SO is certainly looking a gift horse in the mouth....not that you are a horse, but ya know?

Ya, the last few years of my marraige, my ex had gained some weight, stopped eating well and says this is why his sex drive hit rock bottom.

He would decline a blow job, even if that was all I wanted to do.

In both yours and my situation, it feels like a slap in the face.

there are many folks like knightstalker, who would ask, WTF is this guy's problem?

Walk off the frustration and take care.

*smiles*

Miss T

 

[Richard49]

You always do.
ok, time to take my lazy dog for a hike and work out this frustration. Talk to you all later

Hang tight
and remember it is not about you

 

[The Wolfs Cry]

well....i can remember having sex at least once, i do have a daughter. seriously, she was hot right till she became pregnant then she got what she wanted, a child. i married her like an idiot thinking to 'save' my family. after 4 frigid years <and gawd help me no cheating on my part> i had to walk out. took 5 1/2 years to settle a divorce...go figure. i left her everything-house 2 cars boat all the furnishings. i took some camping gear, my laptop, and my truck. guess i took too much hehehehe

things are muuuuch better lately. but the times have been rough.

PS...id have to agree with the others, WTF is wrong with this guy....i would have killed for any attention from my wife...and blowjobs were never in the bargain so that would have been a loooong shower if it were me <shrug> just my opinion anyway

Wolf

 

[Lady_Sam]

Well I'm a year out of a relationship that was over long before it actually ended. We weren't married but we lived together for five years and have a child. Sorta I feel you there, I can count on one hand the amount of times we had sex in the last year and a half of our relationship. When he walked out, I hadn't wanted to see the signs that had been there long before we split. I think if I hadn't gotten pregnant it would have ended two years before it did.

All I can say is I"m much better off..if a bit broke and a whole hell of a lot frustrated.

 

[Cop4u_69]

Well if you are not truely happy in a relationship then you must get out of it.....I have heard all the concerns like....where will I go...what will I do.....what about the kids....how will I make it......

These are just some of the reasons people stay but none of them are any good... most people stay just because they dont want to be alone.....after you live with someone for awhile you become depended on them even if they don't do anything for you.....its a tough thing to just get up and leave the life you know and start anew........

But there is light at the end of the tunnel...it may suck at the beginning but one day you will look back and think how much of a dummy you were for not leaving alot sooner than you did.....

Will there be days that nothing goes right..oh yea there will....Nights when you are cold and need someone to warm you up....oh yes...Times when you need to just have wild crazy sex..more than I like to remember....Days when you just want to sit and cry.....alot of them.....Moments when you just need to be held and feel like you matter....yup yup and yup again..................

But trust me its all better than staying in a relationship where you dont even like yourself.......

When I left all I had were the kids..most of the bills....the truck....the kids stuff....my clothes....one livingroom chair....but I was alot happier and today life is good.....

So all I can say is that when you know in your heart its over....go and go quickly...the longer you wait the harder it gets......

 

[Richard49]

Well if you are not truely happy in a relationship then you must get out of it.....I have heard all the concerns like....where will I go...what will I do.....what about the kids....how will I make it......

Remember where ever we go we take ourselves with us.
The geographic cure is not a cure

There is a difference between leaving a bad situation, a unhealthy person etc. and running away from ourselves and responsiblity to the relationship.

 

[sortacurious]

See now...I just had a feeling this was going to be a great thread!
Thanks MissTaken for starting it!

LOL, horse or not, he was looking it in the mouth alright! After reading everyone's thoughts and events that happened after (which I'll share in a sec) I've realized one thing...It's his loss! Still asking WTF, and you're right it does feel like a slap in the face, but not stressing on it anymore. I envy your courage to move on. But with support here, maybe I can muster it.

Richard, what can I say. You are a one in a million! Did you get my email? I don't know if I've ever told you, but time and time again, you've boosted my spirits!

Wolf's Cry, it took longer to settle the divorce than the marriage lasted? There's something really wrong with the system! You did a noble thing trying to stand by the family you created. My hat's off to you!

Lady_Sam, I so relate. I'm still trying to figure out how we can be with someone and yet feel so alone! It doesn't make any sense to me, and it sure isn't what I envisioned.



Yesterday...was full of 'interesting' stuff. I went for my walk, poor Nitro, I think I almost killed him with the exersion! We ended up at the beach first, and played in the waves. Then went to my secret spot and hiked all around there. I always feel so serene there! I got lots of pics too! On the way home we (dog & I) stopped at the store. I ran into an old highschool boyfriend! We ended up having drinks last night and catching up. Afterward he invited me to move down south with him! LOL That was great for the self-esteem! He even told me I was the best lover he's ever had and that he'd tried to track me down on previous visits here. Today, I'm going for a ride on his (woohoo!) Harley! What does one wear for that?!Anyway I feel a lot better about myself now. Strange how life does that, huh?

Anyway, wanted to share with you all a part of my day so will try to post a pic with this.

 

[Richard49]

Richard, what can I say. You are a one in a million! Did you get my email? I don't know if I've ever told you, but time and time again, you've boosted my spirits!

I recieved your email and answered it

Thank you for the wonderful compliment...
others would agree with you but not in a positive way

 

[sortacurious]

I recieved your email and answered it

Thank you for the wonderful compliment...
others would agree with you but not in a positive way

I got your answer and will respond...really, I will
As for the others...well, they just don't know what they're missing!

 

[knightstalker]

See now...I just had a feeling this was going to be a great thread!
Thanks MissTaken for starting it!

LOL, horse or not, he was looking it in the mouth alright! After reading everyone's thoughts and events that happened after (which I'll share in a sec) I've realized one thing...It's his loss! Still asking WTF, and you're right it does feel like a slap in the face, but not stressing on it anymore. I envy your courage to move on. But with support here, maybe I can muster it.

Richard, what can I say. You are a one in a million! Did you get my email? I don't know if I've ever told you, but time and time again, you've boosted my spirits!

Wolf's Cry, it took longer to settle the divorce than the marriage lasted? There's something really wrong with the system! You did a noble thing trying to stand by the family you created. My hat's off to you!

Lady_Sam, I so relate. I'm still trying to figure out how we can be with someone and yet feel so alone! It doesn't make any sense to me, and it sure isn't what I envisioned.



Yesterday...was full of 'interesting' stuff. I went for my walk, poor Nitro, I think I almost killed him with the exersion! We ended up at the beach first, and played in the waves. Then went to my secret spot and hiked all around there. I always feel so serene there! I got lots of pics too! On the way home we (dog & I) stopped at the store. I ran into an old highschool boyfriend! We ended up having drinks last night and catching up. Afterward he invited me to move down south with him! LOL That was great for the self-esteem! He even told me I was the best lover he's ever had and that he'd tried to track me down on previous visits here. Today, I'm going for a ride on his (woohoo!) Harley! What does one wear for that?!Anyway I feel a lot better about myself now. Strange how life does that, huh?

Anyway, wanted to share with you all a part of my day so will try to post a pic with this.

Wow what a great pic it is beautiful ...If you take away the sand and put up a bunch of factory's with lots of smoke stacks throw in some run down buildings pollute that water and get that sickly green color in it and put a bunch of garbage all around it and it kinda looks like where I live ..I hope you had fun yesterday sounds like you had a decent day..I couldn't agree with you more about life being strange at times ...Wear tight jeans on the bike ride makes your butt look good on the back of a hog...Alittle leather never hurts either..Take care ....GO WINGS