Disobedient subs

[Andraste]

I am waiting for the who's the subbiest and who's the Domliest pissing match to begin.

i think we all need to remember that somewhere WAY back on page one...Chris said He considered a bit of brattiness as "foreplay," so i can see where He is coming from with a lot of His comments. Doesn't make Him any less Domly or different from anyone else. We all have things that turn us on that may not be considered normal. It's just a matter of Him having the right pyl that knows how to walk the line between brat and bitch.

ahahahahafuckingha!

this shit puts new faces off exploring the scene, because it's pushed that you HAVE to do it a certain way.

 

[Netzach]

I am waiting for the who's the subbiest and who's the Domliest pissing match to begin.

i think we all need to remember that somewhere WAY back on page one...Chris said He considered a bit of brattiness as "foreplay," so i can see where He is coming from with a lot of His comments. Doesn't make Him any less Domly or different from anyone else. We all have things that turn us on that may not be considered normal. It's just a matter of Him having the right pyl that knows how to walk the line between brat and bitch.

There are two contests in the SM world, "oooo I'm uber sub/uber Dom" and "ooooo I'm so complicated a prize/I'll tame anything."

Ask a question with a built in assumption, and people will answer based on the assumption in relation to their world. He's sure that most subs will burn money on bras if pissed at their D. Much as my guys like femme undies, it's outside my experience.

The flipside of hearing how you're not "really a sub" is hearing how you're a "doormat" or a "lemming" if you do not display your independence in the specific ways that certain people acknowledge as valid.

 

[Andraste]

There are two contests in the SM world, "oooo I'm uber sub" and "ooooo I'm so complicated a prize."

Ask a question with a built in assumption, and people will answer based on the assumption in relation to their world. He's sure that most subs will burn money on bras if pissed at their D. Much as my guys like femme undies, it's outside my experience.

he was using a humor in his example.

it was a silly & extreme thing, so that the reader would chuckle and think at the same time. it wasn't an assumption about "most subs" or any subs.

he doesn't think subs should spend the bill money on knickers but he does like it if she knows him well enough to be playful.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[ownedsubgal]

ahahahahafuckingha!

this shit puts new faces off exploring the scene, because it's pushed that you HAVE to do it a certain way.

the thing is, we're not all operating within the same "scene." leather BDSM...*****style D/s...**** and bottom kink and games....these are all very unique, separate ways of living that sometimes overlap, and sometimes are in totally different galaxies.

 

[Andraste]

I just can't wrap my mind around operating that way, which is why I draw a line between intillectual sparring and bratty/sammy behaviour...

it's the same game but with the line drawn an inch to the left.

wtf is shy slave??? she SO belongs in a thread like this!

 

[Andraste]

the thing is, we're not all operating within the same "scene." leather BDSM...*****style D/s...**** and bottom kink and games....these are all very unique, separate ways of living that sometimes overlap, and sometimes are in totally different galaxies.

d/s...what does it stand for?

if he dominates, if he has the last word, if his will is law, it's d/s.
if he CHOOSES to allow games, chooses a sub who'll play those games with him, then he's still the damn dom.

is he less of a dom for playing d/s his way, to his rules, instead of following the instructions on the packet? i don't think so!

 

[HottieMama]

d/s...what does it stand for?

if he dominates, if he has the last word, if his will is law, it's d/s.
if he CHOOSES to allow games, chooses a sub who'll play those games with him, then he's still the damn dom.

is he less of a dom for playing d/s his way, to his rules, instead of following the instructions on the packet? i don't think so!

Amen, sister. He is the Dom...therefore He can Dom the way He likes. If i don't like it, i don't have to be His sub in the first place.

 

[ownedsubgal]

d/s...what does it stand for?

if he dominates, if he has the last word, if his will is law, it's d/s.
if he CHOOSES to allow games, chooses a sub who'll play those games with him, then he's still the damn dom.

is he less of a dom for playing d/s his way, to his rules, instead of following the instructions on the packet? i don't think so!

playing games or having fun under certain known parameters is one thing...manipulation and willful disobedience are something else altogether. the first can certainly be a part of D/s, if that's the particular couple's flavor. the latter cannot, as in order for D/s to exist there must be a Dominant partner, a submissive partner, control and obedience.

 

[Andraste]

Amen, sister. He is the Dom...therefore He can Dom the way He likes. If i don't like it, i don't have to be His sub in the first place.

i've huge amounts of respect for a dom who is able to do that.

it's like...watching wildlife films, and these HUGE lions are letting these tiny lion cubs fight them.
they have a ton of fun, pouncing, posturing, wrestling...doesn't make that lion any less of a gnu killing, man eating hunting machine!

 

[Andraste]

playing games or having fun under certain known parameters is one thing...manipulation and willful disobedience are something else altogether. the first can certainly be a part of D/s, if that's the particular couple's flavor. the latter cannot, as in order for D/s to exist there must be a Dominant partner, a submissive partner, control and obedience.

no, the latter CAN, so long as the dom is still in control.

he can allow the sub the illusion of control if he pleases. his rules. his choice.

he can retract that any time he pleases. his rules. his choice.

you're making the rules & telling doms how they're allowed to dom now?
sorry but doesn't that defeat the entire frickin' purpose of being a dom??

 

[HottieMama]

i've huge amounts of respect for a dom who is able to do that.

it's like...watching wildlife films, and these HUGE lions are letting these tiny lion cubs fight them.
they have a ton of fun, pouncing, posturing, wrestling...doesn't make that lion any less of a gnu killing, man eating hunting machine!

As do i. i have always positively adored people who "color outside the lines." Perhaps that's because i always have as well.

 

[Andraste]

As do i. i have always positively adored people who "color outside the lines." Perhaps that's because i always have as well.

it's not so much outside the lines...it's more that they've decided to move the lines, for better asthetic appeal.

least that's what i call it when my pen slips

 

[ownedsubgal]

no, the latter CAN, so long as the dom is still in control.

he can allow the sub the illusion of control if he pleases. his rules. his choice.

he can retract that any time he pleases. his rules. his choice.

you're making the rules & telling doms how they're allowed to dom now?
sorry but doesn't that defeat the entire frickin' purpose of being a dom??

lol, no i'm not, but i think we're speaking two entirely different languages here. we clearly have very different ideas to how dominant and submissive are defined in the first place. so, i give up, and you win.

 

[Andraste]

lol, no i'm not, but i think we're speaking two entirely different languages here. we clearly have very different ideas to how dominant and submissive are defined in the first place. so, i give up, and you win.

i define dom as being the one who is always in charge.

and it's not about winning.

it's about saying "i think the way you live d/s is totally fucked up! but i respect your right to live your d/s your own totally fucked up way."

 

[JMohegan]

Alot of the responses sound a bit romanticized (or maybe I'm just too use to being a rebel).

There are many couples, of all flavors, who commit to fidelity as a fundamental part of the construct of their relationship.

In a D/s relationship with me, obedience is a fundamental part of the construct too.

If by "romanticized" you mean: "existing only in a Harlequin romance novel", then I would tell you from personal experience that the concept of uninterrupted obedience is no more romanticized than the concept of uninterrupted fidelity in the context of a committed relationship.

Of course, many who vow fidelity end up cheating. But still there are others - many, in fact - who go for weeks, months, years, decades, a lifetime...... and never violate the terms of their agreement by cheating on their mate.

The same thing is true for obedience.

To be clear about what I am referring to here:

Playful teasing is often delightful. Mock disobedience is sometimes entertaining. Failure because of an honest mistake or inability is fully understandable.

But in a D/s relationship with me, willful, deliberate disobedience is out of the question.

I guess I'm "weird" but I like a mouthy sub. I want a reason to flog her ass and this nibble on it and go further from there (make up sex? - maybe) but then again my big rush in being a Dom is the control and exercising it. Not so much a sadist because I don't spank hard (but I will make the sub bring the switch, flail, etc) unless I know the person I'm spanking can take it or wants it.

It seems clear to me that some guys genuinely get off on a "make me" attitude. If that's you, and you find a good match, I say rock on.

However, solely as food for thought (not criticism), I ask the following rhetorical questions.

Is it possible that some measure of guilt is holding you back from flogging her ass without a "reason"?

Is it possible that giving yourself permission to engage in pain play simply for the sake of arousal might give you more opportunities for indulgence, beyond those times when her behavior governs your reaction thereto?

 

[Andraste]

i'm thinking that the teasing bit is far more common in daddy/little girl relationships.

thoughts?

 

[ecstaticsub]

i'm thinking that the teasing bit is far more common in daddy/little girl relationships.

thoughts?

I'm in a Daddy/girl relationship and we do tease quite a bit, but I know what line never to cross. I really enjoy the playfulness.

 

[HottieMama]

i'm thinking that the teasing bit is far more common in daddy/little girl relationships.

thoughts?

Personally, i think it's an inherent part of Daddy/little girl relationships. If you really think about it, isn't that playful, teasing, personality PART of being a little girl? Granted, the line is still there to be crossed, but i think it is certainly more accepted and even desired by DaddyDoms.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i define dom as being the one who is always in charge.

and it's not about winning.

it's about saying "i think the way you live d/s is totally fucked up! but i respect your right to live your d/s your own totally fucked up way."

i personally don't think you live "D/s" at all, i think that you may enjoy some degree of topping and bottoming, in or out of the physical realm, however no semblance of a D/s dynamic...dominance and submission are present. however that's just my lil old opinion, which to you i'm sure is worthless. likewise, however "f*cked up" you believe the way my Master and i live is of absolutely no consequence.

 

[Andraste]

I'm in a Daddy/girl relationship and we do tease quite a bit, but I know what line never to cross. I really enjoy the playfulness.

it's a wonderful thing when it works

 

[Andraste]

i personally don't think you live "D/s" at all, i think that you may enjoy some degree of topping and bottoming, in or out of the physical realm, however no semblance of a D/s dynamic...dominance and submission are present. however that's just my lil old opinion, which to you i'm sure is worthless. likewise, however "f*cked up" you believe the way my Master and i live is of absolutely no consequence.

i don't! at the moment

but when i do, it's totally d/s.

because "he" is in charge of setting the rules for the game, not you.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Personally, i think it's an inherent part of Daddy/little girl relationships. If you really think about it, isn't that playful, teasing, personality PART of being a little girl? Granted, the line is still there to be crossed, but i think it is certainly more accepted and even desired by DaddyDoms.

my Master is also my Daddy, and i am his little girl in addition to being his slave, although he would balk at being considered a "Daddydom" and we really don't have that sort of dynamic. there is certainly a time and place in our relationship for playfulness, for teasing, for joking, but ONLY at the correct place and time and never in a bratty/smart-alecky way. if i even get within a hundred yards of that line (like the time i slipped up and playfully said "well duhhh, Daddy"), i'm swiftly "rewarded" with a firm slap across the mouth, maybe two...and there certainly won't be any playtime (joking, teasing, light-heartedness) for a good time after that.

 

[Andraste]

Personally, i think it's an inherent part of Daddy/little girl relationships. If you really think about it, isn't that playful, teasing, personality PART of being a little girl? Granted, the line is still there to be crossed, but i think it is certainly more accepted and even desired by DaddyDoms.

i was going to respond to this but my cat disracted me by eating a spider *shudder*

 

[Netzach]

"Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word police — the wordinistas — over at Webster's are going to say, 'Hey, that's not a word.' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I'm no fan of dictionaries. Or reference books. They're elitist."