C
Christopher2012
Guest
.........
Last edited by a moderator:
Emerson40
An evening spent dancing
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2012
- Posts
- 13,838
I did not want to think you were so thoughtless and stupid. But you are.
OTCurve
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Posts
- 1,073
Miles Long
Fuck victoriously!
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2005
- Posts
- 21,358
I didn't have time to read the whole thread so I'll just save time by asking: did you bone her yet?
Christopher, you amaze me, you come on here, ask for advice, and then tell everyone they are full of shit.....while it is possible everyone on here is full of shit from time to time, it is statistically impossible that every person who writes on this board is full of shit all the time, and more importantly, the statistical odds of you, 1 person, being always right and a group of other people always being full of shit is about the same odds of me getting pregnant.....
People time and again have encouraged you, given you advice, suggestions, told you to get some help/coaching/counseling, and all you ever do is whine and moan about what bitches women are, how hard it is, and 10 million other excuses..know what a therapist would tell you? That is self enabling drivel, excuses, so you don't have to face the scary reality that maybe, just maybe, you don't know what the fuck you are doing and more importantly, that you are so scared that it paralyzes you, and that isn't healthy.
A number of the people on here are people who have lived life, who are successful (you have a good job that pays well, but in the industry I work in that would be considered chicken feed; not saying that to put you down, saying that bringing up what someone makes is meaningless. I prob make more then double you do, and an investment banker would laugh at me thinking my salary meant something *shrug*......), who actually have relationships, have had them, some of us for a long time (mine is going on 30 years now).....
I think you are running away from Lit because you can't stand to face the truth, that you basically want a relationship but are too afraid to deal with it, there is always something, the other girl you obsessed about had flaws, this gal is a single mom and that freaks you out because you assume she is going to use you (want to know a secret? No one can use you if you don't let them)......instead of taking these as potential learning steps, of dating and figuring things out, you are looking for a nice, neat package and it doesn't happen, even in a Nicholas Sparks novel.The biggest thing is you are afraid of failing, which is a big problem, because failing is part of how you learn. We all have had our egos broken, I have had more then a few of the brutal "let's be friends' crap from someone I was crazy about, I also have faced in my long term relationship a lot of fucking hard issues (and my spouse would tell you the same thing about me), it is what life is. On the old MASH tv show the character of Hawkeye tells Hot Lips, the nurse, that her problem is she is trying to find a custom fit in an off the shelf world, and it in some ways fits you, you want to find a gal you can jump into a deep, meaningful relationship with, have sex, and eventually get married, avoiding the crap that comes in between, and it isn't going to happen, the drama comes with that, breakups, bad dates, worse dates, the tall gal who turns out to have a bigger dick then you (well, some might actually like that, but whatever), the clingy gal with multiple issues of her own, the psycho, the slut who only reacts when you treat her like one, the gal from some eastern european country with 8 brothers all named Stosh who want to make sure you are 'decent' with their sister and can rip the engine block out of a truck with one arm, you name it...it is known as life, and you can't duck it.
And if you tell me to fuck myself, want to tell me I am a loser, be my guest, I have had a long line of both gals and guys (and everything in between) tell me to do much worse (reminds me of the old joke of an employee at whole foods, when a customer asks him how much the corn is, and when he tells the woman she says "you can stick that corn up your ass" and he says "I can't, madam, there is already a 10 dollar cantalope there), so it doesn't matter.
People time and again have encouraged you, given you advice, suggestions, told you to get some help/coaching/counseling, and all you ever do is whine and moan about what bitches women are, how hard it is, and 10 million other excuses..know what a therapist would tell you? That is self enabling drivel, excuses, so you don't have to face the scary reality that maybe, just maybe, you don't know what the fuck you are doing and more importantly, that you are so scared that it paralyzes you, and that isn't healthy.
A number of the people on here are people who have lived life, who are successful (you have a good job that pays well, but in the industry I work in that would be considered chicken feed; not saying that to put you down, saying that bringing up what someone makes is meaningless. I prob make more then double you do, and an investment banker would laugh at me thinking my salary meant something *shrug*......), who actually have relationships, have had them, some of us for a long time (mine is going on 30 years now).....
I think you are running away from Lit because you can't stand to face the truth, that you basically want a relationship but are too afraid to deal with it, there is always something, the other girl you obsessed about had flaws, this gal is a single mom and that freaks you out because you assume she is going to use you (want to know a secret? No one can use you if you don't let them)......instead of taking these as potential learning steps, of dating and figuring things out, you are looking for a nice, neat package and it doesn't happen, even in a Nicholas Sparks novel.The biggest thing is you are afraid of failing, which is a big problem, because failing is part of how you learn. We all have had our egos broken, I have had more then a few of the brutal "let's be friends' crap from someone I was crazy about, I also have faced in my long term relationship a lot of fucking hard issues (and my spouse would tell you the same thing about me), it is what life is. On the old MASH tv show the character of Hawkeye tells Hot Lips, the nurse, that her problem is she is trying to find a custom fit in an off the shelf world, and it in some ways fits you, you want to find a gal you can jump into a deep, meaningful relationship with, have sex, and eventually get married, avoiding the crap that comes in between, and it isn't going to happen, the drama comes with that, breakups, bad dates, worse dates, the tall gal who turns out to have a bigger dick then you (well, some might actually like that, but whatever), the clingy gal with multiple issues of her own, the psycho, the slut who only reacts when you treat her like one, the gal from some eastern european country with 8 brothers all named Stosh who want to make sure you are 'decent' with their sister and can rip the engine block out of a truck with one arm, you name it...it is known as life, and you can't duck it.
And if you tell me to fuck myself, want to tell me I am a loser, be my guest, I have had a long line of both gals and guys (and everything in between) tell me to do much worse (reminds me of the old joke of an employee at whole foods, when a customer asks him how much the corn is, and when he tells the woman she says "you can stick that corn up your ass" and he says "I can't, madam, there is already a 10 dollar cantalope there), so it doesn't matter.
C
Christopher2012
Guest
........
Last edited by a moderator:
C
Christopher2012
Guest
I have completely made an ass of myself. I have seriously and spitefully attacked Rainshine for no reason whatsoever. I am deeply sorry and I feel incredibly stupid. I am absolutely ashamed.
From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely apologize to you, Rainshine. In all seriousness, I know absolutely NOTHING about you. I made a lot of assumptions that were not true.
I think it's in both of our best interests to just leave it like this and move on. I know that you're hurt. I know that this will not erase what I said earlier.
So I understand if you cannot forgive me. I hope you do. I hope we can move on. And I hope that I never hurt you ever again.
From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely apologize to you, Rainshine. In all seriousness, I know absolutely NOTHING about you. I made a lot of assumptions that were not true.
I think it's in both of our best interests to just leave it like this and move on. I know that you're hurt. I know that this will not erase what I said earlier.
So I understand if you cannot forgive me. I hope you do. I hope we can move on. And I hope that I never hurt you ever again.
OTCurve
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Posts
- 1,073
Oh now that IS surprising! Don't you know every man on Lit is supposed to be all over me!
Hmm...why is it I never receive the memos? I'll make a note, Rainshine, thanks.
This is my sociological perspective on what happened with the evolution of communication of women in Western cultures. I don't know how to say it easily without it sounding like feminist crap...so do me a favor and read until the end before flaming.
We evolved from a tradition of women being treated as inferior beings, and attempts to grasp some control over our lives required subtle manipulation, because heaven forbid men actually listened to our opinions! It also happens that it is more socially acceptable for women to spread vicious rumors that are difficult to trace back to their source, than it is for us to go around slapping or punching each other. Men don't get called "crazy bitch" when they hit someone.
So, this goes on for many generations, and then the changes start. Well, society evolved, but we still have our mothers to learn from, who learned from their mothers etc... The point is, present day women are still learning a time-worn tradition of Victorian women...even without being taught anymore (read the conversations between "Nurse" and "Juliette" in "Romeo and Juliette" for some perspective of how women were raised in those days). It becomes more meaningless with each generation, but it will take some time before those traditions are lost entirely.
The biggest burden becomes, of course, that layer of communication between men and women. Women aren't usually taught to manipulate men anymore (note I said USUALLY), and yet the communication skills they learned from their mothers still have traces of that left within. That leaves a huge potential for mis-communication from even the simplest of conversations. Men, as the traditional "holders of power" never developed this backhanded method, so its nature wholly eludes them.
Those men who are good at understanding it go into politics
Well said, I must say; you definitely make a strong point. It's definitely true that we, as a society/as people, have this bad habit of holding onto outdated modes of thought and behavior well past the time of their usefulness. Whether this is because of conditioning, association, tradition, hormones (like Monkeyman suggested) or DNA or whatever, it is really hard to say beyond a doubt. Likely it is some kind of a combination. Regardless; after hearing your take on it, I do find myself feeling a little more sympathetic and understanding of the behavior. I thank you for that.
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Posts
- 39,882
Wow...glad I could help...
I don't know if you notice references to "OP" (original poster)..this doesnt mean that that person is original in their thought, query (heh), or anecdote....just that they were the one who initiated a thread.
Note it isn't "TO" for thread owner. Threads live or die through participation and take on a life of their own. They go where the comments take them, not to where the OP gets to reach nirvana of wank fodder/affirmation/enlightment of us unwashed or whatsoever the OP had in mind when he/she imagined the flurry of postings to follow. You don't get to "forbid" posting. Im just a contrary enough cuss that I could decide to permanently hijack this one to illustrate the futility of counseling a sad-sack...but I doubt I'd have the follow-through to keep it up long.
When I have offered (asked for by you in an open forum - and quite relevant) advice in the past you didn't deign to respond. I assumed based on your continuing ineptitude with women that you have taken none of it. Which is fine...self-education is the best, even if its usually pretty costly in time and resources.
Your 'poor me' schtick here works to the extent you have i'm sure experienced...lots of head pats, and faint praise ego strokes. My guess is thats about what you get out of your interaction with females as well in so called real life.
One of my earlier ranting agony aunt suggestions to you was (I thought) pretty over the top. I almost deleted it...until my inbox started getting amused/aroused(that shocked even me)/interested women sending pm's saying they LIKED what i had to say....I mean I have come to find out (the hard way, self taught) that being blunt with women is effective, but some stuff I thought better not to say out loud.
Anyway, since you threw down the gauntlet: (or was it an opera glove?)
As a heavy equipment operator I am SHOCKED, just shocked that a pharmacist (one of the highest demand jobs in the country at the moment..) makes more than the $20 an hour I make.
On the other hand, I work a hell of a lot more hours than you do. (math was my strong suit.) I'm not sure if I should include my quarterly bonuses while we are comparing the size of our financial dicks. So paycheck to paycheck you win by about $800.
Should we include frugality? I'm guessing your lexus is a lease? My 20 year old toyota 4x4 (handy in the mud and snow) is paid for so that stretches the whole paycheck a bit...oh and also since I live in the middle of BFE, the company would feel guilty for charging me more than $200 for my 3 bedroom hovel.
I would seriously consider getting laid at the moment as you suggest but the 180 mile trek to and from a major metropolitan area is tough to do in the hour and a half before I go work another 12 hour nightshift.
I have come to agree with you about the emptiness of casual sex....although the near-sighted women 1/2 my age who admittedly likely have circumstantial or esteem issues making them vulnerable to my predations are in my opinion, giving me a fairly precious, life affirming gift.
They. like all women are in charge of their own bodies and sexuality...i personally love the term slut when it is the dynamic that they live their lives by with wanton abandon. I'll even use it coursely in the ear if it seems I can get away with it...but I never use it in the third person to describe them, because frankly, I'm not sure if either authentic "sluts" aren't attracted to me, me to them, or perhaps they are mythological creatures that don't actually exist, but I have never fucked one myself. I dunno how you calculate it but if you go straight numbers most of them are in the range of mine..(9)..Although I am admittedly aspiring to be a man-slut since number one was on my wedding night with a girl you would probably have derisively called a slut based on her history.
I dunno..***** is about choices.
financially, probably would have been better off NOT rescuing the chick with the lost looking little boy, maxed credit cards, and 18% loan on her little dodge omni.
factor in the $5k for platinum and investment grade stones (1992 dollars), $7k for a honeymoon in cancun, health care for eventually 5 kids with no insurance, I would think if you abstain from drinking your entire paycheck in blue moons you should be a little better off (if alone) by the time you reach my age.
I, like you used to have a so-called proffession. People paid me from $50 to $150 an hour for my opinion, but the nature of the work made it both cyclical on a macro-economic basis and on a more basic monthly basis...all my work seemed to trickle in by the 15th of the month and required logistical hurdles that took up another few days then a rush to get it done before months end...$150 an hour sounds great, unless it ends up being 10 hours one particular month. or two..or a couple of years.
Now I gratefully take $20 an hour to shut the hell up (well usually time and a half that plus nightshift differential..but i digress)...well actuall as you might guess I don't shut up...I offer my consultancy (which is soundly ignored) for free...
Ive kept my my eyes open for over 15,000 hours in the last 5 years. Was found not to be at fault in the one (of 5) near fatal accidents my equipment has been involved in in a couple years of bad luck...been fired once...reinstated with full back pay...(im on third and final warning at the moment...been that way for 18 months)...been put on investigative leave with pay a half dozen times. (maybe as a pharmacist you can figure out why a guy with a company accepted Adderol prescription would flunk a drug screen)..can you tell I have none in my system at the moment??
That said, I regret nothing I've done. All my regrets are things I DIDN't do.
that has been my sincere advice...and it is priceless.
I am 5'8" tall, 140-150 lbs, bald (well that might be a plus it lets chicks know i'm rocking the testosterone), middle aged, argumentative, and spend about 1/2 of one of your paychecks making the trek twice a month to see my kids, so Im not exactly the best sugar daddy.
As a result, only about one in five of the rare girls that I find interesting enough to attempt to overcome my near-anorgasmia go home with me. twenty percent is better than zero.
Fair warning: your most dangerous tools for getting laid is how quick you are to whip out your paycheck stats.
I used to live in a house full of students...i slept in the small bedroom with no view...the first girl to find to her surprise that the guy working a $7.50 an hour job was the OWNER of the house coerced me into my first blowjob...I married her.
I take back what I said advice-wise with girls a b c and d...that would be effective for your basic beta/nice guy who is just nervous...it was deliberately provocatively worded to encourage you to man up. The problem is you have a seething undercurrent of anger...you just have been (wrongly) socialized to repress that...women (and men for that matter) are going to pick up on that and flee.
My (no bs) advice is to find a competent therapist, do a year of therapy. You have a lot of repressed anger..(don't we all)...THEN get out there and do as I suggest.
I was going to send you a picture of my penis to save time on comparison but was uncertain whether to use an imperial or metric ruler?
Peace brother.
I don't know if you notice references to "OP" (original poster)..this doesnt mean that that person is original in their thought, query (heh), or anecdote....just that they were the one who initiated a thread.
Note it isn't "TO" for thread owner. Threads live or die through participation and take on a life of their own. They go where the comments take them, not to where the OP gets to reach nirvana of wank fodder/affirmation/enlightment of us unwashed or whatsoever the OP had in mind when he/she imagined the flurry of postings to follow. You don't get to "forbid" posting. Im just a contrary enough cuss that I could decide to permanently hijack this one to illustrate the futility of counseling a sad-sack...but I doubt I'd have the follow-through to keep it up long.
When I have offered (asked for by you in an open forum - and quite relevant) advice in the past you didn't deign to respond. I assumed based on your continuing ineptitude with women that you have taken none of it. Which is fine...self-education is the best, even if its usually pretty costly in time and resources.
Your 'poor me' schtick here works to the extent you have i'm sure experienced...lots of head pats, and faint praise ego strokes. My guess is thats about what you get out of your interaction with females as well in so called real life.
One of my earlier ranting agony aunt suggestions to you was (I thought) pretty over the top. I almost deleted it...until my inbox started getting amused/aroused(that shocked even me)/interested women sending pm's saying they LIKED what i had to say....I mean I have come to find out (the hard way, self taught) that being blunt with women is effective, but some stuff I thought better not to say out loud.
Anyway, since you threw down the gauntlet: (or was it an opera glove?)
As a heavy equipment operator I am SHOCKED, just shocked that a pharmacist (one of the highest demand jobs in the country at the moment..) makes more than the $20 an hour I make.
On the other hand, I work a hell of a lot more hours than you do. (math was my strong suit.) I'm not sure if I should include my quarterly bonuses while we are comparing the size of our financial dicks. So paycheck to paycheck you win by about $800.
Should we include frugality? I'm guessing your lexus is a lease? My 20 year old toyota 4x4 (handy in the mud and snow) is paid for so that stretches the whole paycheck a bit...oh and also since I live in the middle of BFE, the company would feel guilty for charging me more than $200 for my 3 bedroom hovel.
I would seriously consider getting laid at the moment as you suggest but the 180 mile trek to and from a major metropolitan area is tough to do in the hour and a half before I go work another 12 hour nightshift.
I have come to agree with you about the emptiness of casual sex....although the near-sighted women 1/2 my age who admittedly likely have circumstantial or esteem issues making them vulnerable to my predations are in my opinion, giving me a fairly precious, life affirming gift.
They. like all women are in charge of their own bodies and sexuality...i personally love the term slut when it is the dynamic that they live their lives by with wanton abandon. I'll even use it coursely in the ear if it seems I can get away with it...but I never use it in the third person to describe them, because frankly, I'm not sure if either authentic "sluts" aren't attracted to me, me to them, or perhaps they are mythological creatures that don't actually exist, but I have never fucked one myself. I dunno how you calculate it but if you go straight numbers most of them are in the range of mine..(9)..Although I am admittedly aspiring to be a man-slut since number one was on my wedding night with a girl you would probably have derisively called a slut based on her history.
I dunno..***** is about choices.
financially, probably would have been better off NOT rescuing the chick with the lost looking little boy, maxed credit cards, and 18% loan on her little dodge omni.
factor in the $5k for platinum and investment grade stones (1992 dollars), $7k for a honeymoon in cancun, health care for eventually 5 kids with no insurance, I would think if you abstain from drinking your entire paycheck in blue moons you should be a little better off (if alone) by the time you reach my age.
I, like you used to have a so-called proffession. People paid me from $50 to $150 an hour for my opinion, but the nature of the work made it both cyclical on a macro-economic basis and on a more basic monthly basis...all my work seemed to trickle in by the 15th of the month and required logistical hurdles that took up another few days then a rush to get it done before months end...$150 an hour sounds great, unless it ends up being 10 hours one particular month. or two..or a couple of years.
Now I gratefully take $20 an hour to shut the hell up (well usually time and a half that plus nightshift differential..but i digress)...well actuall as you might guess I don't shut up...I offer my consultancy (which is soundly ignored) for free...
Ive kept my my eyes open for over 15,000 hours in the last 5 years. Was found not to be at fault in the one (of 5) near fatal accidents my equipment has been involved in in a couple years of bad luck...been fired once...reinstated with full back pay...(im on third and final warning at the moment...been that way for 18 months)...been put on investigative leave with pay a half dozen times. (maybe as a pharmacist you can figure out why a guy with a company accepted Adderol prescription would flunk a drug screen)..can you tell I have none in my system at the moment??
That said, I regret nothing I've done. All my regrets are things I DIDN't do.
that has been my sincere advice...and it is priceless.
I am 5'8" tall, 140-150 lbs, bald (well that might be a plus it lets chicks know i'm rocking the testosterone), middle aged, argumentative, and spend about 1/2 of one of your paychecks making the trek twice a month to see my kids, so Im not exactly the best sugar daddy.
As a result, only about one in five of the rare girls that I find interesting enough to attempt to overcome my near-anorgasmia go home with me. twenty percent is better than zero.
Fair warning: your most dangerous tools for getting laid is how quick you are to whip out your paycheck stats.
I used to live in a house full of students...i slept in the small bedroom with no view...the first girl to find to her surprise that the guy working a $7.50 an hour job was the OWNER of the house coerced me into my first blowjob...I married her.
I take back what I said advice-wise with girls a b c and d...that would be effective for your basic beta/nice guy who is just nervous...it was deliberately provocatively worded to encourage you to man up. The problem is you have a seething undercurrent of anger...you just have been (wrongly) socialized to repress that...women (and men for that matter) are going to pick up on that and flee.
My (no bs) advice is to find a competent therapist, do a year of therapy. You have a lot of repressed anger..(don't we all)...THEN get out there and do as I suggest.
I was going to send you a picture of my penis to save time on comparison but was uncertain whether to use an imperial or metric ruler?
Peace brother.
Last edited:
heavyhitter01
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Posts
- 443
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Posts
- 39,882
Originally Posted by query:
Fair warning: your most dangerous tool for getting laid is how quick you are to whip out your paycheck stats.
Indeed.
you know, i intended that portion to be about anti-gold-digger defense. (I will avoid the aside about my $400 anti-gold-digger car I like for dates.)
but come to think of it, even if you could afford/wanted to attract a gold-digger...it is pretty ineffective....
even they like it best when they suss out your "worth" (irony intended) and "potential".
If they know that you know that they know...they feel like a whore.
And even whores don't like to feel like whores. (i have heard.)
C
Christopher2012
Guest
The drug is meant to cross the blood-brain barrier, which means it's lipophilic (fat liker). So it crosses into fat cells and hangs around awhile.
Also, the measurement of drug excretion is the half life (t 1/2). Therefore, traceable amounts of drug could be found in your system from a long time from now.
A blood specimen could be sent off to a lab and they could tell the specifics about how much you've had, if you had it recently, etc. But if it's just a quick test, the answer is no.
Que
aʒɑ̃ prɔvɔkatœr
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Posts
- 39,882
Thanks...thats interesting.
I tend to pass the over the counter test, then three days later the lab from tucson calls and I have what amounts to three days off with pay.
I was giving your situation some thought last night on nightshift...I realize you are resistant to my insistence on a more direct approach...I still maintain that is the most likely to achieve results...however....
It occurred to me that in addition to what I perceive as some trepidation on your part, maybe in some ways you are holding out?
If you were a woman and a virgin, I wouldn't necessarily advise you "get it over with.' so in the interest of gender inclusiveness, I will say that its more than OK if you really do want to wait till you find yourself in a situation that resembles whatever you have idealized.
I really don't necessarily recommend waiting till the wedding night at 27 as I did, but I don't regret it either. If you want your first time to be off the charts amazing...aim for it.
Be prepared for the fact that its hard to script life especially with other people having a part.
I'm often told I over-think things...sounds like you've got some excessive rumination yourself...nothing wrong with trying to get a good (as one ever can) read on a woman, just don't make 100% understanding a requirement. Sometimes you gotta wing it.
Lord Pmann
Lord
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 21,093
This thread turned weird as hell.
Miles Long
Fuck victoriously!
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2005
- Posts
- 21,358
Ok no way am I going to read all that, but from all the really long posts I'm going to guess they didn't bone yet? Come on, Christopher, throw it in her already!
