Daddy's Little Girl - Fourth Edition

[Azuldrgon]

I like the thought of boundaries. It lets me know where not to cross so I don't tick off or upset people.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

Rules make a submissive female *feel* loved.

Is this true for you?

Yes and no. Some rules, especially those that are for well being and making sure that I get 8 hours of sleep, or cumming with my D's permission makes sense and I love them. It shows that it's about nurturing the relationship and nurturing us. But other rules are just impractical and sometimes I feel it's about controlling me instead of nurturing the relationship. So maybe guidelines and boundaries and defining the parameters of who we are rather than just rules? Does that make sense?

It may be past history/trauma, though, when I was in an abusive relationship where everything about what I did, including when I could see my family and how I worked, was regulated. So I could be still holding onto that

But even before that, some rules I just broke lol. I need to think about this more lol

 

[barefootgirl69]

I think it's hilarious that my parents can tell me to do something and I'll balk. "I'm adult!!" A special someone can make the same suggestion and I melt. "Awww, he cares!"





I'm weird.

 

[Ingenue844]

Rules make a submissive female *feel* loved.

Is this true for you?

Yes. I like to know boundaries so as long as I play inside of them I hope there won’t be issues. I still Brat sometimes but ultimately I like to know where the line is.

 

[Strixaluco]

I like the thought of boundaries. It lets me know where not to cross so I don't tick off or upset people.

Me too. Less stress that way I'm trying to meet expectations, but the unwritten rules are difficult for me. I'm not good at gauging them and it can be terribly stressful at times.

But that's not quite enough to make just any rules feel myself loved.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Me too. Less stress that way I'm trying to meet expectations, but the unwritten rules are difficult for me. I'm not good at gauging them and it can be terribly stressful at times.

But that's not quite enough to make just any rules feel myself loved.

My boundaries are based kind of on those tests we take to know where the hard no's are and such.
My old partner was very good at telling me what she liked and didn't like.
Communication is the key.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

My boundaries are based kind of on those tests we take to know where the hard no's are and such.
My old partner was very good at telling me what she liked and didn't like.
Communication is the key.

I think this is interesting: rules and boundaries to make sure that communication is constant?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Yes, because sometimes I clam up because I don't want to bother him. Maybe his day was rough and I want to make him smile so I don't tell him about some news that I should be sharing. For example.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I think this is interesting: rules and boundaries to make sure that communication is constant?

Not really.
I just want to make sure she is happy and I don't push her too far.
Thing is, whenever you get involved with someone, it's always nice to know what they won't do.
That way you don't scare them out by doing them.
The only way to know is by communicating.
If you told me you like to be spanked, but not plugged, you will kick my ass to the curb quickly if I plug you.

 

[SnowIris]

Rules make a submissive female *feel* loved.

Is this true for you?

I don’t know how I feel about the word “rules”, but I enjoy having boundaries and guidance. It helps me to feel secure, and security is love to me, in a lot of ways.

I think the main objection to having “rules” is that implies some form of punishment for breaking them. I’m not a fan of that. But if He asks me to do something for him, I will do it gladly, without needing the fear of punishment or some rule hanging over me.

It’s knowing that He cares enough to ask about certain things, and give structure to them where needed, that gets me every time.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

Not really.
I just want to make sure she is happy and I don't push her too far.
Thing is, whenever you get involved with someone, it's always nice to know what they won't do.
That way you don't scare them out by doing them.
The only way to know is by communicating.
If you told me you like to be spanked, but not plugged, you will kick my ass to the curb quickly if I plug you.

I can see that and that conversation is important. I see that more at the early stages when Daddies and littles (or D and s) are going through their hard and soft limits.

On the other hand, if someone isn't communicating when they should be (ahem, BFG TELL YOUR DADDY!), with rules of having to communicate, which is what I thought you were saying, it would make sure that a sub and a Dom are discussing. Sort of "this is the boundaries. Within this boundary, we talk about X,Y,andZ, and you tell me A,B,C". Does that make sense? I don't think I'm making sense

 

[Azuldrgon]

I can see that and that conversation is important. I see that more at the early stages when Daddies and littles (or D and s) are going through their hard and soft limits.

On the other hand, if someone isn't communicating when they should be (ahem, BFG TELL YOUR DADDY!), with rules of having to communicate, which is what I thought you were saying, it would make sure that a sub and a Dom are discussing. Sort of "this is the boundaries. Within this boundary, we talk about X,Y,andZ, and you tell me A,B,C". Does that make sense? I don't think I'm making sense

I see that. Just never thought of it that way.

Guess I am still newish to some of this dynamic stuff sometimes.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

I don’t know how I feel about the word “rules”, but I enjoy having boundaries and guidance. It helps me to feel secure, and security is love to me, in a lot of ways.

I think the main objection to having “rules” is that implies some form of punishment for breaking them. I’m not a fan of that. But if He asks me to do something for him, I will do it gladly, without needing the fear of punishment or some rule hanging over me.

It’s knowing that He cares enough to ask about certain things, and give structure to them where needed, that gets me every time.

This is so beautiful

Like you, punishment is something I am not a fan of, especially seeing as I'm hard on myself when things do not go perfectly. But the boundaries and structure is something that can bring everyone security and clarity. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully

EDITED: Funishment, on the other hand, is something else

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

I see that. Just never thought of it that way.

Guess I am still newish to some of this dynamic stuff sometimes.

Every relationship has their own dynamic and what makes sense to them

 

[SnowIris]

I can see that and that conversation is important. I see that more at the early stages when Daddies and littles (or D and s) are going through their hard and soft limits. T

On the other hand, if someone isn't communicating when they should be (ahem, BFG TELL YOUR DADDY!), with rules of having to communicate, which is what I thought you were saying, it would make sure that a sub and a Dom are discussing. Does that make sense?

I understand what you’re saying, DPR. Having rules around communication could be helpful in some cases I’m sure.

Slightly different scenario, but for example: I get really stressed out about having to ask for things because I always expect the answer to be no. So my current partner has a habit of asking me to ask for things he already knows I want. It’s a way to help me work on that negative feeling in a safe way.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

I understand what you’re saying, DPR. Having rules around communication could be helpful in some cases I’m sure.

Slightly different scenario, but for example: I get really stressed out about having to ask for things because I always expect the answer to be no. So my current partner has a habit of asking me to ask for things he already knows I want. It’s a way to help me work on that negative feeling in a safe way.

Thank you for bringing up that example--it's exactly what I was thinking of but couldn't think of!

(and I think a lot of us are in the same boat as you, SnowIris )

 

[BiBunny]

I used to use punishments. Now in hindsight I know that wasn't good for every dynamic. In the future I will focus more on positive reinforcement. Setting boundaries early on will be just as important to me as trust, respect, and love. Because it helps build that foundation. That's my two cents on the topic...

The thing about punishment is that what it usually teaches the person is how to avoid punishment, rather than the lesson you actually want to teach.

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

There's that. But there's also communication. Sitting down and discussing with the other person. Constructive criticism can do more in my experience than negative reinforcement. But I also respect that not every person or dynamic is the same. Hell I'm not the same person I was when I started.

What I love about this is how you showed you have grown and changed. Not a lot of people have the strength and humility to admit it, especially publicly

 

[SassyPixiedust]

Welcome to the thread!! Enjoy the blanket fort!

Thank you!!! I brought some plushies with me, in case anyone needs something to hug or hold

 

[SassyPixiedust]

I see that. Just never thought of it that way.

Guess I am still newish to some of this dynamic stuff sometimes.

Sometimes?

 

[Deadbed1968]

This is so beautiful

Like you, punishment is something I am not a fan of, especially seeing as I'm hard on myself when things do not go perfectly. But the boundaries and structure is something that can bring everyone security and clarity. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully

EDITED: Funishment, on the other hand, is something else

“Funishment”! I love this!!

 

[SassyPixiedust]

“Funishment”! I love

This is so beautiful

Like you, punishment is something I am not a fan of, especially seeing as I'm hard on myself when things do not go perfectly. But the boundaries and structure is something that can bring everyone security and clarity. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully

EDITED: Funishment, on the other hand, is something else

I love the term Funishment!!

 

[DarkPrimalRose]

“Funishment”! I love this!!

Wish I could take credit for it, but I can't. I think I first read it on a BDSM site lol

 

[SassyPixiedust]

Rules make a submissive female *feel* loved.

Is this true for you?

Feel loved? Not especially for me. I like ground rules, boundaries, and the like, but that isn't what makes me *feel* loved.
I feel it from care and talking through things

 

[Deadbed1968]

Feel loved? Not especially for me. I like ground rules, boundaries, and the like, but that isn't what makes me *feel* loved.
I feel it from care and talking through things

And lots of bear hugs!