Daddy's Little Girl - Fourth Edition

[cascadiabound]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/688d9c6c8a36ba37f43dd21923e43717/tumblr_n18qdsJAnq1sp4l39o1_1280.jpg

 

[cascadiabound]

It takes quite a bit for me to move from needing comfort to even being able to have sex.

There are also times when it needs more than one night. Like today.

Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.
A good D knows how to pay attention to you and take care of you... comforting and soothing as long as is necessary to get you to a state of equilibrium, safety and peace. That might take hours. That might take days. Sometimes longer. For many people, physical intimacy is off the table until that sense of safety is re-established.
I know that sexual arousal is complicated and it would not be too surprising to have a male partner who is providing deep intimate comfort become at least somewhat aroused in the closeness of genuine comfort of their beloved. The line that divides the men from the boys are those that can differentiate the needs/reactions of their body vs what is appropriate and helpful to care for their little girl's mental and physical health. Sometimes the only loving thing to do is to defer sex/sexual intimacy.

 

[jaybird1967]

Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.
A good D knows how to pay attention to you and take care of you... comforting and soothing as long as is necessary to get you to a state of equilibrium, safety and peace. That might take hours. That might take days. Sometimes longer. For many people, physical intimacy is off the table until that sense of safety is re-established.
I know that sexual arousal is complicated and it would not be too surprising to have a male partner who is providing deep intimate comfort become at least somewhat aroused in the closeness of genuine comfort of their beloved. The line that divides the men from the boys are those that can differentiate the needs/reactions of their body vs what is appropriate and helpful to care for their little girl's mental and physical health. Sometimes the only loving thing to do is to defer sex/sexual intimacy.

I do think that the act of cuddling/comforting a partner during a time of need can deepen the emotional bond between them, and may result in greater intimacy when sexual activities are back on the table.

 

[captivatedbycurves]

Trauma, anxiety, and other situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship, but even more so in a D/s or D/lg dynamic which relies on a deep foundation of trust.
A good D knows how to pay attention to you and take care of you... comforting and soothing as long as is necessary to get you to a state of equilibrium, safety and peace. That might take hours. That might take days. Sometimes longer. For many people, physical intimacy is off the table until that sense of safety is re-established.
I know that sexual arousal is complicated and it would not be too surprising to have a male partner who is providing deep intimate comfort become at least somewhat aroused in the closeness of genuine comfort of their beloved. The line that divides the men from the boys are those that can differentiate the needs/reactions of their body vs what is appropriate and helpful to care for their little girl's mental and physical health. Sometimes the only loving thing to do is to defer sex/sexual intimacy.

Very well expressed, @cascadiabound. I couldn't agree more on how important this concept is.

This is the primary element that has drawn my interest into this lifestyle and role. Being able to be present and attuned to her needs while allowing the space for that trust, safety and peace to cultivate and grow speaks to me.

 

[Strixaluco]

I do think that the act of cuddling/comforting a partner during a time of need can deepen the emotional bond between them, and may result in greater intimacy when sexual activities are back on the table.

Hundred times to this!

 

[Strixaluco]

situations that require comfort and care are often complex and multilayered. Having a partner that genuinely cares about your safety and mental health is essential in any relationship

And physical health, too. Even when the issue is not clearly visible.

Yesterday I was utterly exhausted. Physically, emotionally, mentally. After dinner we just cuddled in bed for an hour, and I could finally relax and to feel safe. (Even just chronic exhaustion can feel very unsafe when living alone, knowing that you depend on yourself and it's not being enough.) Also chasing away worries and anxiety. We took the evening easy, he did weekly cleaning for me while I continued resting, and did some very light things together. Slept 9-10h, better than in weeks, cuddling all night (well he woke and got up way before I did). After breakfast more full body cuddling, and even napping some 2h. And some more relaxed activity after bed.

I was cuffed all that time, some 23h. But no sex, no expectation of such. Indeed sleeping almost half of it.

And I cannot express in words how grateful I feel for that, and how much safety it brought me. There are many parts in it. To even just know that I am enough when I am needy, not being able to much more than exist. To know that I am wanted as company irregardless of whether I am a sexual being in that moment. To know that I can rely on them.

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

Does comforting someone always have to involve sex? Can't they just comfort someone and be there for them?

No.. I need to be okay before I'm going to consider sex.

 

[Strixaluco]

My version of ok is very flexible though... As I'm a Temu version of a healthy, well functioning adult.

 

[mentalmaven]

Does comforting someone always have to involve sex? Can't they just comfort someone and be there for them?

It depends on the situation…comforting a friend after a bad day? No, sex isn’t needed.

But when someone is deeply hurt or grieving, the comfort they seek is different. It is sought from someone they already have a connection with and that can naturally bring them closer…to where desire stirs.

For a man, comforting a woman cared for (especially someone dear and sweet) will likely ignite something more. The mix of empathy and attraction creates a roiling tension that’s hard to ignore.

But with that longing sometimes the real power, and sense of value, lies in just holding her without expecting anything in return.

 

[jaybird1967]

It helped me figure out how I could be a little, in practise. Not many stories that I can say have contributed that way.

The one I was searching for was about a sub becoming a little - leaving former Dom to belong to a Daddy.

I think I found the story you were looking for - "No More Sir" by FairytaleBaby.

 

[Strixaluco]

I think I found the story you were looking for - "No More Sir" by FairytaleBaby.

Yes, that sounds like it!