"Daddy," I Whispered: A Critique of the self-proclaimed "Lit's #1 Story"

[IrezumiKiss]

I know all about how the penis goes in the vagina. If that makes me old then goddammit colour me Alzheimer's

Stop sippin' on them mint juleps an' get with the times, you old fuddyduddy!

Don't you know they got videos and such that show fellers puttin' two penises in the vagina now?

AND two in the binghy, too!

 

[DeeZire]

No Scouries thread should be complete without a link to this satire, based on a Scouries-like character in the world of music.

Sveni, the Viking Rock Star
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=323369

In fact, I'm hoping he reads the story and then writes a review as praise-worthy as the ones he writes for his own stories. Considering that the Sveni character is entirely based on Scouries, perhaps he'll be blinded by his ego and interpret the tale as a glowing homage to his writerly conquests. Actually, it is a homage to his incompetence, with the glowing part coming from the pain in Sveni's ass, not praise for our Clueless Leader.

Thank you, Scouries. You are an inspiration to us budding writers, trying to learn (how to not write) from your shining example of mediocre prose.

 

[rgraham666]

Mediocre is high praise for its work.

 

[starrkers]

{snip}
mr scouries single-handedly is changing the image of LITEROTICA from stodgy to hip. From old to young. From dull to sexy. He and people like Freddie and sarahhh are leading LITEROTICA into the future.

Authors that understand the aspirations and needs of the youth of today.

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at this one...I think laugh's the better option
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y286/starrcats/smilies/haha2.gif

 

[NoJo]

I think laugh's the better option

It always is

 

[SlickTony]

...and then one of the other ones put his finger in my rear, into my ... oh, anus,... you know, my bum Daddy...then he put his penis, his big Arab penis....they weren't circumcised Daddy... it was awful, filthy..."

Other people's ignorance tends to embarrass me. An Arab, unless he happens to belong to one of the Christian sects such as Maronite or Coptic or something, is generally going to be a Muslim, and all Muslims by custom are circumcised, just as the Jews tend to be even if they are non-observant. This is something that is generally known, and if Scouries' character does not know this, her ignorance needs to be exposited in some way. If she really is a medical student going to an Ivy league university, it's highly unlikely she's going to be that ignorant of the world.

I think I can say that I've probably seen more Muslim cocks than Scouries has, but I know that discussion groups don't always respect anecdata.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Other people's ignorance tends to embarrass me. An Arab, unless he happens to belong to one of the Christian sects such as Maronite or Coptic or something, is generally going to be a Muslim, and all Muslims by custom are circumcised, just as the Jews tend to be even if they are non-observant. This is something that is generally known, and if Scouries' character does not know this, her ignorance needs to be exposited in some way. If she really is a medical student going to an Ivy league university, it's highly unlikely she's going to be that ignorant of the world.

I think I can say that I've probably seen more Muslim cocks than Scouries has, but I know that discussion groups don't always respect anecdata.

OMG! You mean to say scouries has got his facts wrong? That's unprecedented (for at least the last 5 seconds). What next, are going to say Gabby isn't real?

 

[SlickTony]

OMG! You mean to say scouries has got his facts wrong? That's unprecedented (for at least the last 5 seconds). What next, are going to say Gabby isn't real?

Sorry to come across as Mr. Obvious Man I was just contributing to the pan, cuz Killer didn't mention it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Authors that understand the aspirations and needs of the youth of today.

The youth of today aspire to be screwed by their family members-- i hardly think so.

 

[starrkers]

Other people's ignorance tends to embarrass me. An Arab, unless he happens to belong to one of the Christian sects such as Maronite or Coptic or something, is generally going to be a Muslim, and all Muslims by custom are circumcised, just as the Jews tend to be even if they are non-observant. This is something that is generally known, and if Scouries' character does not know this, her ignorance needs to be exposited in some way. If she really is a medical student going to an Ivy league university, it's highly unlikely she's going to be that ignorant of the world.

I think I can say that I've probably seen more Muslim cocks than Scouries has, but I know that discussion groups don't always respect anecdata.

When it comes to Sir Scouries, I'm afraid nothing surprises me anymore. But it's sad to know he can't even get the basics right

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I thought you said you were going away?

I read and voted on your story yesterday morning and just read and voted on the second chapter. I'm curious as to why you think I'm the one that gave you a vote of 1.

Are you telling me I'm the only person who reads and votes on your stories other then yourself? That is impossible considering how high you are on the list of favourite authors - #34 I think.

Unless of course those accounts are made up and really no one votes on your stories anymore except me. Why are you blaming me?

Erin

Apparently, math escapes you. It doesn't escape me. I'm an accountant. I know how the formulas on this site work and I know what my score was before you voted.

When you leave your glowing comment with your 100% vote, guess what? My score doesn't increase nor do my votes go up by one.

Now, what does that tell me?

It tells me that the 100%, 5 star vote was your second vote, the first vote you gave me being a 1 bomb.

You aren't kidding anyone that you are a psychopathic basher and anyone who gets on your bad side can expect the same mean and nasty treatment from you that you give to me. Who else is on your bad side, Erin? Who else are you secretly bashing?

You can't get away with it with me. I know what my score was before you bashed me and I know what it is after you bashed me.

Now, please stop bashing my stories and acting like you are a princess when in fact you are a witch.

Fuck off, you miserable bitch.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Apparently, math escapes you. It doesn't escape me. I'm an accountant. I know how the formulas on this site work and I know what my score was before you voted.

When you leave your glowing comment with your 100% vote, guess what? My score doesn't increase nor do my votes go up by one.

Now, what does that tell me?

It tells me that the 100%, 5 star vote was your second vote, the first vote you gave me being a 1 bomb.

You aren't kidding anyone that you are a psychopathic basher and anyone who gets on your bad side can expect the same mean and nasty treatment from you that you give to me. Who else is on your bad side, Erin? Who else are you secretly bashing?

You can't get away with it with me. I know what my score was before you bashed me and I know what it is after you bashed me.

Now, please stop bashing my stories and acting like you are a princess when in fact you are a witch.

Fuck off, you miserable bitch.

Now THERE'S the Freddie we all know and love (to bitch slap!)

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[Safe_Bet]

Apparently, math escapes you. It doesn't escape me. I'm an accountant. I know how the formulas on this site work and I know what my score was before you voted.

When you leave your glowing comment with your 100% vote, guess what? My score doesn't increase nor do my votes go up by one.

Now, what does that tell me?

It tells me that the 100%, 5 star vote was your second vote, the first vote you gave me being a 1 bomb.

You aren't kidding anyone that you are a psychopathic basher and anyone who gets on your bad side can expect the same mean and nasty treatment from you that you give to me. Who else is on your bad side, Erin? Who else are you secretly bashing?

You can't get away with it with me. I know what my score was before you bashed me and I know what it is after you bashed me.

Now, please stop bashing my stories and acting like you are a princess when in fact you are a witch.

Fuck off, you miserable bitch.

Hey Freddie - Aren't you up past your bed time? Your mama's going to be pissed!

 

[Daniellekitten]

Grand High Poobah posted a post too --see, it's a compulsion

Does that make it a Postal Compulsion?

 

[champagne1982]

Apparently, math escapes you. It doesn't escape me. I'm an accountant. I know how the formulas on this site work and I know what my score was before you voted.

When you leave your glowing comment with your 100% vote, guess what? My score doesn't increase nor do my votes go up by one.

Now, what does that tell me?

It tells me that the 100%, 5 star vote was your second vote, the first vote you gave me being a 1 bomb.

You aren't kidding anyone that you are a psychopathic basher and anyone who gets on your bad side can expect the same mean and nasty treatment from you that you give to me. Who else is on your bad side, Erin? Who else are you secretly bashing?

You can't get away with it with me. I know what my score was before you bashed me and I know what it is after you bashed me.

Now, please stop bashing my stories and acting like you are a princess when in fact you are a witch.

Fuck off, you miserable bitch.

When Lit calculates its votes the script adjusts the number of views instantly however, most of the time, votes are tabulated less frequently. The vote that counts toward a story with voting turned on is the vote given first be it from the stars or the thermometer. Any vote from the same IP thereafter will get erased in a sweep, probably including votes with the thermometer on any following public comment. So, tell your fans to vote once and comment once, and then carry on a conversation in emails so that your score isn't manipulated down by the sweeps.

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[starrkers]

You seem to be the only person on my bad side on this site. Most people are nice and kind and thoughtful. I'm sure you will say that they are back stabbing me but who cares? You are the only one that drives me crazy and I'm sick of you bullying me and calling me names. I'm going to push back until you either truly stop posting or decide to be normal for more then a split second.

Erin

Hang in there Erin. He will eventually start to ignore you, except for the odd sniping comment. That's where I am now. It won't stop him one-bombing every story you post, however. Doing exactly what he accuses "mentally unbalanced" people doing.
Hmm.

 

[champagne1982]

So the vote in the comment's box counts? I didn't know that. Hmm... I thought it was just the stars. Well either way your explanation makes sense. I know the sweeps and vote deletion is confusing. No way I can keep track of it.

Erin

This stuff is all prequelled by the requisite: I think. You can always pm Laurel or Manu to find out for certain.

 

[TE999]

I think everyone on this site knows that the scores for each story are taken from the star votes- the 5 point system that is at the bottom of any story that has voting turned on (you would know since you desperately try to hold on to your red H's by turning off voting and locking in your votes).

The vote you give when leaving a comment means absolutely nothing. I know that and I'm sure most other people know that as well. I am fully aware that the first vote I give you with the stars is what affects your vote.

So what I'm assuming you do is sit on your computer around 7am EST and check your score consistently until you see the comment I leave on one of your stories. Then you do some fancy math and determine that the only score I could possibly give you is a 1.

You seem to be the only person on my bad side on this site. Most people are nice and kind and thoughtful. I'm sure you will say that they are back stabbing me but who cares? You are the only one that drives me crazy and I'm sick of you bullying me and calling me names. I'm going to push back until you either truly stop posting or decide to be normal for more then a split second.

Erin

Two words, Erin: Iggy Button.

If you cant see The Ego That Walks Like A Man's blather...then you can mellow out and enjoy yourself here.

After all, he's as important as something you'd scrape off your shoe.

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[starrkers]

atta girl. Same attitude I have towards him. Except I don't worry about offending the big twerp anymore, not after the How To contest. That outburst came out of the blue, was mean, unwarranted and a total bashing.

As he gave, so shall he receive.

 

[Boota]

And look at the names! All the old farts from the past… yesterdays people…POSERS is the best term to describe them.
.

Irezumikss? 11,000+ posts
Belegon? 14,000+
Liar? 17,000+
Boota? 1,000+
glynndah? 16,000+
TE999? 15,000+
Sub Joe? 11,000+
Edward Teach? 2,000+
phantom goddess? 2,000+
neonlyte? 7,000+
maggott420? 3,000+
vermillion? 6,000+
impressive? 25,000+ (surprise, surprise)
Slick Tony? 5,000+
rgraham666? 38,000+
roxanne? 11,000+

even

rumplestiltskin 10,,000+

And of course his pal, mr moronic himself

tex 10,,000+

And the ALTS

ozymaniask?
past perfect?


And yes, even Cloudy 33,000+ came out of retirement to take a kick at the boss

Over a quarter of a million posts between these twenty some posters!

Can you believe it? [SIZE=+2]2 5 0 , 0 0 0 + POSTS![/SIZE]

I just want to say that it is an honor to be included in such good company.

But really? What the fuck were we thinking? Posting on a message board about our shared interest(s). Fucking ridiculous. Who has ever heard of such a thing?

 

[maggot420]

I just want to say that it is an honor to be included in such good company.

But really? What the fuck were we thinking? Posting on a message board about our shared interest(s). Fucking ridiculous. Who has ever heard of such a thing?

I've never heard of it. Can't imagine it either. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

It is most definitely and honour and a prviledge to be included on that list. I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve such a compliment.