"Daddy," I Whispered: A Critique of the self-proclaimed "Lit's #1 Story"

[Safe_Bet]

Why does it matter to you that the AH hates it? If the READING public is happy, you ought to be happy.

But.. you don't seem happy...

 

[Guest]

QUOTE stella But.. you don't seem happy...

I believe the boss is one of the happiest men I've ever met miss omega.

You, I seem to remember, are one of the few AHers who's ever publicly addressed the question of the readership of LITEROTICA.

I may be remembering wrong but I think you conceded that your stories didn't mesh very well with this audience.

Unlike so many of your peers you were very honest with yourself and I belive at that time you resolved to seek out another audience.

I have no idea if you were sucessful or not but all of us at ScouriesWorld were impressed by your approach.

Gabby

 

[michchick98]

We still don’t have anyone on this thread willing to address the really big question do we?

The [size=+2] READERS [/size] girls!

What part of NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NUMBERS do you not understand? If you cared about your readers half as much as you cared about your numbers, maybe you'd take a minute and read KM's critique and see that she had a few valid points.

I don't think she was reviewing your story to be mean or hateful. In my opinion, she was just pointing out that even though people are reading it, it's not as great as you say it is.

Why can't you just accept the critique gracefully? Do you think James Patterson or Stephen King or J.K. Rowling cried and whined about poor reviews? I'm sure they got a few in their day before they became the great authors they are now. I think they read those reviews and took the advice of the reviewer to make their writing better. They did it for their readers.

Why do they love the story and yet every single AHer hates it.

It's not the story we hate. It's the endless self-promotion and insults we hate. It's the constant boasting and bragging about how great you are that we hate. It's the pissing and moaning over one bad critique that we hate.

Selena is number one on the Favorite Authors List. Do you see her posting about it two or three or four times a day? Does she tell other authors on this forum or any other forum that their work sucks? Does she tell other authors they suck because they're not on that list? No. Because she knows, as most of us do, that there are a lot of great authors here. She doesn't have to make up fake lists just to make her feel important or popular. That's only something children do.

Who do you think is more in tune with the READING public? Ask yourselves that question the next time you put pen to paper. And if you're able to ever answer that question maybe your stories will start to find an audience.

My stories have an audience, thank you very much. Ask yourself why you're the only author out of the hundreds, if not thousands, on Literotica that feels it necessary to brag about numbers? If you're ever able to answer that, maybe people will stop thinking you're a delusional wind-bag.

[size=+2]

1,000,000+ VIEWS

13,492 VOTES

417 COMMENTS

1200+ E-MAILS​

​

[/size]

The LITEROTICA PUBLIC HAS SPOKEN!

Okay, let me spell it out for you. N-O O-N-E C-A-R-E-S ! !

miss hick, congrats, you’ve finally come out of the closet and demonstrated a true skill. That post of yours in fact shows a skill in image manipulation that even darkboy can’t equal. We could use you at ScouriesWorld. How do you do that? We have some more scourian numbers we’d love to post. Could you by any chance post the “Favoritest Authors” and “Favoritest Stories” lists.

I don't think I'll tell you how I do it. You just learned how to copy and paste, I don't want to overwhelm that tiny brain of yours with too much information. And as far as posting the favorite authors and favorite stories list, don't you already do that? Yeah, I thought so. That's about the only legitimate list you do post.

Gabrielle L.

Why don't you just sign your own name, scouries? We all know it's you anyway.

 

[TxRad]

We still don’t have anyone on this thread willing to address the really big question do we?

The [size=+2] READERS [/size] girls!

Why do they love the story and yet every single AHer hates it.

Who do you think is more in tune with the READING public? Ask yourselves that question the next time you put pen to paper. And if you're able to ever answer that question maybe your stories will start to find an audience.

[size=+2]

1,000,000+ VIEWS I've got the callouses on my fingers to prove it.

13,492 VOTES My voting bots are getting better

417 COMMENTS only 90% of them are from me

1200+ E-MAILS I can say this because there's no way for anyone to check it.​

​

[/size]

The LITEROTICA PUBLIC HAS SPOKEN! No they haven't, only you have. No one has yet to see one of your readers on any of these threads.


miss hick, congrats, you’ve finally come out of the closet and demonstrated a true skill. That post of yours in fact shows a skill in image manipulation that even darkboy can’t equal. We could use you at ScouriesWorld. How do you do that? We have some more scourian numbers we’d love to post. Could you by any chance post the “Favoritest Authors” and “Favoritest Stories” lists.

Gabrielle L.

Favorite Authors and Favorite Stories list? Why post those. You're not on top of either of them either. That's why you make up your own lists, so your giant ego can be on top of something. I'll bet even Gabby the blowup doll rides cowgirl.

On the subject of the review. It's dead on right down to the use of English English. For someone supposedly from South Beach, you sound and write more like someone from South Hampton, or the south of England.

Nice try to wiggle away but as usual you did your used your poor set of lies and fabrications. The house of cards is missing a few walls and floors and ceilings. Poor, poor scouries.

You asked for a visit from the twelve and you got it. Be careful what you wish for.

 

[ozymandiask]

Threadjack

Um, I don't want to seem churlish, but I'll have to take others' word for whether this is good or not, because life is too short for me to read a 3,400 word review. )

Roxanne, No-one writes more on this board than you do, or with less thought before hitting the keyboard. Your posts are invariably characterised by their square meterage rather than the quality of their content.

In fact you would write much better if you read more than you opined.

 

[jomar]

I'm greatly amused by the turn of this thread. It's Scouries, part 2, no? That people continue to engage him and his alts in rational arguments is beyond me, though I can certainly see how it's wonderful entertainment.

 

[Stella_Omega]

QUOTE stella But.. you don't seem happy...

I believe the boss is one of the happiest men I've ever met miss omega.

She's met other men? I really hope, scouries, that you aren't sharing your rubber dolly with other men. That's just... eww.

Eeeewwwww.

You, I seem to remember, are one of the few AHers who's ever publicly addressed the question of the readership of LITEROTICA.

I may be remembering wrong but I think you conceded that your stories didn't mesh very well with this audience.

Unlike so many of your peers you were very honest with yourself and I belive at that time you resolved to seek out another audience.

I have no idea if you were sucessful or not but all of us at Scouries[/color]World[/color][/b] were impressed by your approach.

That's true, I did move my work to another venue. But, although my stories aren't popular with lit's general readership, they are popular with many of the members of this forum, who have rather different standards in reading material.

Why don't you get as honest with yourself as I did? Leave the AH. You'll be a happier man for it.

 

[Daniellekitten]

She's met other men? I really hope, scouries, that you aren't sharing your rubber dolly with other men. That's just... eww.

Eeeewwwww.
That's true, I did move my work to another venue. But, although my stories aren't popular with lit's general readership, they are popular with many of the members of this forum, who have rather different standards in reading material.

Why don't you get as honest with yourself as I did? Leave the AH. You'll be a happier man for it.

No, you mean we'll be happier for it.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm greatly amused by the turn of this thread. It's Scouries, part 2, no? That people continue to engage him and his alts in rational arguments is beyond me, though I can certainly see how it's wonderful entertainment.

Oh come on Jomar! You talk to your dog don't you?

(and you probably get better results!)

 

[Stella_Omega]

No, you mean we'll be happier for it.

ain't no one ever told you about little white lies, aka a spoonful of sugar?

 

[past_perfect]

It transcends style, and spelling and grammar, ellipses and paragraphs, as the reader enters this magical world you’ve created for him.

In Europe we have a similar phenomenon in the newspaper business. Newspapers like "The Sun" in England or "Bild" in Germany transcend style, spelling, grammar and content for that matter and sell a shitload of copies every day. However, no one working for those papers is conceited enough to claim that this makes them a good journalist or that their stories bear any mark of distinction.

KillerMuffin's review is thorough, apt and in itself of a literary standard you can only aspire to.

If you move amongst literary peers, you should appreciate that their standards of evaluation are based on craftsmanship, uniqueness and coherence. If those criteria do not mean anything to you, you should probably look for another platform, where people appreciate your fascination with irrelevant numbers. I am sure in the bowels of the internet there is niche for number fetishists.

However, if you want to impress your peers, take KillerMuffin's critique to heart and aspire to write something that can withstand an erudite scrutiny and comes out as something truly worthwhile.

 

[Edward Teach]

KM! Great to see you!

 

[IrezumiKiss]

However, if you want to impress your peers, take KillerMuffin's critique to heart and aspire to write something that can withstand an erudite scrutiny and comes out as something truly worthwhile.

I've already got a sequel title for him, just in case:

"'Uncle,' My Throat Cracked."

 

[phantom_goddess]

KM, you're a genius. this really made my day!

 

[starrkers]

{snip}

Welcome. It’s always a sad day when you wake up on a beautiful fall Miami morning to find yourself defamed, slandered and libeled by a once halfway competent woman who unfortunately has slowly slid into the abyss of madness. {snop}

What a glorious sentence! A rational critique is defamation, but the following description of the critiquer isn't?

Droll, scouries, tres droll.

 

[Safe_Bet]

What a glorious sentence! A rational critique is defamation, but the following description of the critiquer isn't?

Droll, scouries, tres droll.

Muahahaha! I've been waiting to see what you posted star! I can almost hear you chortling as you read this thread.

 

[jomar]

Oh come on Jomar! You talk to your dog don't you?

(and you probably get better results!)

I do and I do. And he's funny in a different way than Lit's self-proclaimed best selling number one author.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I do and I do. And he's funny in a different way than Lit's self-proclaimed best selling and number one author.

Plus, only one of them pees all over the carpet when you give him a review!

 

[michchick98]

Plus, only one of them pees all over the carpet when you give him a review!

definitely snerk worthy, SB!

 

[Guest]

QUOTE stella Why don't you get as honest with yourself as I did? Leave the AH. You'll be a happier man for it.

Of course you omit to tell us all why the boss is here in the first place miss omega. It’s because you all continually bitched to the conformist and laurel until he finally caved. Then poor jim was moved here. Back among the long knifes of AH land.

He’d love to be back in the Story Feedback forum. He liked it there. It was quieter… nicer people... it had nipples… it had the 1000+ vote club.

BTW, we wish you well in your future writing…

QUOTE danikat No, you mean we'll be happier for it.

So now you finally say something that’s true ma’am. It feels good doesn’t it? I’ll bet you regret all those complaints you made to the queen now… c’mon, admit it.

Why don’t you girls start a petition asking the good Queen to send the Scouries thread back to the Story Feedback forum. The boss would be happy to sign it…

…or do you prefer to try and still every voice that doesn’t play your tune?

[size=+2]G[/size]

 

[Guest]

time to retire old people....

Oh oh, the bran muffin rat pack is starting to rush in to defend their little darling Killer Muffin with her 25,000+ posts. One would have thought she wouldn’t have needed them given her near B.A. genius.

And look at the names! All the old farts from the past… yesterdays people…POSERS is the best term to describe them.
.

Irezumikss? 11,000+ posts
Belegon? 14,000+
Liar? 17,000+
Boota? 1,000+
glynndah? 16,000+
TE999? 15,000+
Sub Joe? 11,000+
Edward Teach? 2,000+
phantom goddess? 2,000+
neonlyte? 7,000+
maggott420? 3,000+
vermillion? 6,000+
impressive? 25,000+ (surprise, surprise)
Slick Tony? 5,000+
rgraham666? 38,000+
roxanne? 11,000+

even

rumplestiltskin 10,,000+

And of course his pal, mr moronic himself

tex 10,,000+

And the ALTS

ozymaniask?
past perfect?


And yes, even Cloudy 33,000+ came out of retirement to take a kick at the boss

Over a quarter of a million posts between these twenty some posters!

Can you believe it? [SIZE=+2]2 5 0 , 0 0 0 + POSTS![/SIZE]

And not an original thought from any of them. Puppets on Killer Muffin’s strings. It’s time for you old timers to retire from LITEROTICA… you’re days are long over… leave the present and future to people like my boss…

Gabrielle L.
freedom fighter… and
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
ALT killer…and
Handler of the “Mentally Challenged”… and
v.p. ScouriesWorld seminars…and
president, Scouries Fan Club…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
V.P. lesbian deprogramming services…and
deputy art director reporting to miss (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member, Literotica royalty distribution committee…and
friend of GBers…and
director of scouriesworld translation services…and
vice-president marketing –Orgasming Centres Inc….and finally
secretary, 1000+ VOTE CLUB and 100+COMMENT CLUB
collins avenue
miami beach, florida

 

[Pure]

hi, km,

nice to see ya!

it's a good critique, assuming you had several hours to kill.

the only thing i would add is that mining the incest motherlode is a pasttime of not a few writers. i gave it a shot myself, and found the damn thing shooting up in the hundreds of thousands.

scouries' efforts, in fact, resemble those of many others; most of the top read stories are incest and there aren't many to write home about.

the difference, no doubt one that prompted your critique effort is that scouries devotes tremendous energy to cranking out dozens of incest stories. one could almost imagine that the two that cracked the top 50 were accidental outcomes of a 'shot gun' approach. to this, one might add that his efforts at self promotion rival those of dr phil and deepak chopra and james frey combined.

your skills should find more productive release, though the present result is entertaining. it's kind of like reading a Gourmet magazine food critic describing the intricate flavors of a Burger King beef taco.

all the best!

 

[Stella_Omega]

What a glorious sentence! A rational critique is defamation, but the following description of the critiquer isn't?

Droll, scouries, tres droll.

You mispelled, I think;

"Troll, scouries, Dres Troll."

(What's a 'dres?')

 

[neonlyte]

(What's a 'dres?')

It's wot gabbi wears

It's kinda short

 

[Stella_Omega]

Why don’t you girls start a petition asking the good Queen to send the Scouries thread back to the Story Feedback forum. The boss would be happy to sign it…

G[/b][/color][/size]

A smaller pond?

You could ask her yourself, via PM. That's often the best way.