I've recently become very curious in other men. I am a college student and thought I would be able to find alot of other people experimenting but I was wrong. How did everyone else make there first same-sex erotic connection? Any advice for connecting?
bi-curious
- Thread starter brvery87
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sseg
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A lot of folks think they can just announce they're bisexual and the pile-on will happen. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. If there's a glbt office on your campus, get involved, get known within the community, be a decent person who treats other people with respect and who contributes in a positive manner, and you'll probably find people who want to experiment with you. Lots of people are experimenting when they get to college, but learning the social skills to be an interesting person is a part of that.
It can be frustrating, I know. I self identified as bisexual for more than a year before I got my first opportunity to experiment. Even now opportunities to really get to play are few and far between. Considering that I've never had a problem becoming involved with women, I know it's not just because I'm hideous or have the personality of a turnip or whatever...
A lot of folks think they can just announce they're bisexual and the pile-on will happen. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. If there's a glbt office on your campus, get involved, get known within the community, be a decent person who treats other people with respect and who contributes in a positive manner, and you'll probably find people who want to experiment with you. Lots of people are experimenting when they get to college, but learning the social skills to be an interesting person is a part of that.
It can be frustrating, I know. I self identified as bisexual for more than a year before I got my first opportunity to experiment. Even now opportunities to really get to play are few and far between. Considering that I've never had a problem becoming involved with women, I know it's not just because I'm hideous or have the personality of a turnip or whatever...
Ref: Bi-curious
I am a married male and I am bi. My first experience was in in high school with a friend. I enjoyed it so much that I still look for it today. I haven't had a bi experience in a number of years now but I think about it alot.
Talk openly with male friends, if you have a close friend tell him of your feelings and your curiousity. You never know.
Do you watch porn, invite a friend to watch with you. See what happens.
Good luck.
TJ
I am a married male and I am bi. My first experience was in in high school with a friend. I enjoyed it so much that I still look for it today. I haven't had a bi experience in a number of years now but I think about it alot.
Talk openly with male friends, if you have a close friend tell him of your feelings and your curiousity. You never know.
Do you watch porn, invite a friend to watch with you. See what happens.
Good luck.
TJ
I would think your best bet is to use the internet to hook up, personally I would never put myself on the line and open up to friends that I was bi, but on the internet you can usually find someone looking for what you are. Of course use caution as we all know you don't always get what is advertised.
I'm in pretty much the same boat you are, and yeah, its kind of a crappy boat. my advice would be pretty much in line with what Sseg said. going to someplace like a GLBT group meeting would be a start, i started going myself about two months ago. how much closer i am to getting something started wih a guy, i don't know. but i didn't feel like going the internet-hook-up/random-sex route and thought it would be better all together to get into the community first. which presents potential problems all its own.
not that i don't sometimes eye the area craigslist M4M pages from time to time..never gone through with it, but it can be a pleasant thought. not too smart in my opinion, though. I'm not all that experienced with this whole thing though, so you should maybe take what i say with a grain of salt.
not that i don't sometimes eye the area craigslist M4M pages from time to time..never gone through with it, but it can be a pleasant thought. not too smart in my opinion, though. I'm not all that experienced with this whole thing though, so you should maybe take what i say with a grain of salt.
sseg
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Just hang it all out!
Don't think of it as any different than a straight bar, there's folks who are cruising and folks who are just there to hang out with friends. Like straight bars some have different feels than others. If they do theme nights, you might show up one of those nights (like if there's a drag show or similar or live music). Just hang out and people watch. Maybe you'll be approached, maybe not. Either way, don't sweat it. Like any place, be careful who you go off with, predators are just as prevalant in gay bars as straight.
Have fun!
brvery87 said:
Don't think of it as any different than a straight bar, there's folks who are cruising and folks who are just there to hang out with friends. Like straight bars some have different feels than others. If they do theme nights, you might show up one of those nights (like if there's a drag show or similar or live music). Just hang out and people watch. Maybe you'll be approached, maybe not. Either way, don't sweat it. Like any place, be careful who you go off with, predators are just as prevalant in gay bars as straight.
Have fun!
limplizzard
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1st.
The first time is the hardest but it gets easier from then on. Good luck.
The first time is the hardest but it gets easier from then on. Good luck.
azsaguaro
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Over the years, I've had occasional same-sex experiences, beginning with juvenile wankfests among playmates.
When I was in the service (30-some years ago), I went out to a nightclub that was popular with the gay crowd and wound up going with a visiting businessman to his hotel room.
Later, in college, an acquaintance came on to me as he was driving me home from a party. We went to his place and played for several hours.
More recently, I have sought out interested parties via the internet, usually exchanging oral favors. Erotic massages from men have also offered some diversion.
If I was a college student again, though, I'd connect with the local GLBT community, as others have mentioned. And you might start with activities that don't involve sex. If the vibe is right, something will likely develop.
When I was in the service (30-some years ago), I went out to a nightclub that was popular with the gay crowd and wound up going with a visiting businessman to his hotel room.
Later, in college, an acquaintance came on to me as he was driving me home from a party. We went to his place and played for several hours.
More recently, I have sought out interested parties via the internet, usually exchanging oral favors. Erotic massages from men have also offered some diversion.
If I was a college student again, though, I'd connect with the local GLBT community, as others have mentioned. And you might start with activities that don't involve sex. If the vibe is right, something will likely develop.
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