A friend asked this question....

[warrior queen]

A few of us girls get together for morning tea every fortnight and have a bit of a bitch-session... and one asked this question....
What is the one deal-breaker that would cause you to walk away immediately from your relationship?
I get the feeling that my friend has some major issues within her marriage, but she's not ready to tell any of us about it yet. We've all let her know we:re here if she needs.
But her question made me think.
For me, I would walk instantly if my man ever physically harmed me.
What's yours?

 

[gardenia19]

I've got plenty of deal breakers. The inability to stop being angry all the time is one of them.

 

[cj200267]

A few of us girls get together for morning tea every fortnight and have a bit of a bitch-session... and one asked this question....
What is the one deal-breaker that would cause you to walk away immediately from your relationship?
I get the feeling that my friend has some major issues within her marriage, but she's not ready to tell any of us about it yet. We've all let her know we:re here if she needs.
But her question made me think.
For me, I would walk instantly if my man ever physically harmed me.
What's yours?

Does winning the lottery fit in this conversation...(too soon for a joke?)

And let's face it WQ, most men would be too scared to even think about raising their hand to you (unless it was to request permission to go potty)

 

[Emerald Eyed]

Him harming anything or anybody. Especially my children and myself.

 

[warrior queen]

I've got plenty of deal breakers. The inability to stop being angry all the time is one of them.

Reading into other things my friend said, as well as what she didn't say, I get the feeling her question was more of an 'immediate' one.
So, what is the one thing that if you found out/experienced it would make you walk out immediately and for good?

 

[warrior queen]

Does winning the lottery fit in this conversation...(too soon for a joke?)

And let's face it WQ, most men would be too scared to even think about raising their hand to you (unless it was to request permission to go potty)

You really think that? Because you'd be wrong.
I treat my man with old-fashioned respect..... we have a fully equall partnership with one exception. I won't let him cook (two reasons - 1. he's bad at it, and 2. I consider it MY job as the woman in the relationship).

As for winning the lottery, if you won while together and yoir partner could prove it, he/she could take you for half anyway. We don't have prenups in Oz.

 

[knot_sweet]

You really think that? Because you'd be wrong.
I treat my man with old-fashioned respect..... we have a fully equall partnership with one exception. I won't let him cook (two reasons - 1. he's bad at it, and 2. I consider it MY job as the woman in the relationship).

As for winning the lottery, if you won while together and yoir partner could prove it, he/she could take you for half anyway. We don't have prenups in Oz.

Um, yeah, actually we do have pre nups.

And I figured you preferred to cook not because you're the woman but because you're the work at home partner in the relationship...??

Cos the "woman does the cooking" mentality wouldn't wash with any of the women I know. Or any of their mothers.

Last time I told my mum she had to stay home so she could cook my dinner, I was three years old. My dad cooked for a month just to make a point. In fact, all the men I've ever been with (including the abusive alcoholic) have been at least basically competent in the kitchen. Their mothers have pretty much insisted they learn to haul their own weight around a house.

 

[warrior queen]

Um, yeah, actually we do have pre nups.

And I figured you preferred to cook not because you're the woman but because you're the work at home partner in the relationship...??

Cos the "woman does the cooking" mentality wouldn't wash with any of the women I know. Or any of their mothers.

Last time I told my mum she had to stay home so she could cook my dinner, I was three years old. My dad cooked for a month just to make a point. In fact, all the men I've ever been with (including the abusive alcoholic) have been at least basically competent in the kitchen. Their mothers have pretty much insisted they learn to haul their own weight around a house.

Believe me when I say.... my man can't cook. He has absolutely no idea of flavours - to him anything is better with a liberal sprinkling of salt and a smear of tomato sauce!
I am an awesome cook, and it is my personal belief that it is my job, not his.
Same as he believes it is his job to do the heavy outdoor work when he is home.(I am happy to do it when he's away).
We have pre-nups, but they are contestable because we have 'no fault' divorce here.
I have never heard of any Australian pre-nup being watertight. Ever.

 

[knot_sweet]

Believe me when I say.... my man can't cook. He has absolutely no idea of flavours - to him anything is better with a liberal sprinkling of salt and a smear of tomato sauce!

We have pre-nups, but they are contestable because we have 'no fault' divorce here.
I have never heard of any Australian pre-nup being watertight. Ever.

A "no-fault" divorce is an amicable parting, or at least one in which no individual is more to blame than the other. Thus any pre nups have no grounds for contestation. In the first instance because neither party would have any wish to dispute the pre nup and in the second instance because both parties are guilty as hell therefore there is no one person more guilty than the other. *ETA sometimes, if both parties are equally at fault of breach of contract, ie; they both cheated and it was a condition of the pre nup that both parties remain faithful, then the pre nup will be declared void and an equitable division of the assets will be enforced, taking into account the custody and maintenance of any offspring.

If the divorce has a provable 'at fault' party, then it's likely any pre nup will have the breach of promise clause somewhere in it, making it either void or subject to a different division of the assets. Usually the latter as that is the intent of a pre nup. A contract that decides the division of the assets accumulated both pre and post marriage. Usually entails such things as cheating, alcohol / drug / gambling addiction, abuse... you get the idea.



And I'm not disputing your man's inability to cook. Some men really are tragic in the kitchen despite all the training their mothers try to spoon feed them. Just not a fan of the "women do the cooking" mentality. Nor are any of the women I've ever met. Even the old ladies I know don't think like that (and when I say old, I mean over 80)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

When push comes to shove few have the guts to leave, regardless of their principles.

 

[gardenia19]

Reading into other things my friend said, as well as what she didn't say, I get the feeling her question was more of an 'immediate' one.
So, what is the one thing that if you found out/experienced it would make you walk out immediately and for good?

Reread my post and you'll have your answer.

 

[CandiCame]

It doesn't take much to get me to walk out of a relationship. Honestly, the "women do the cooking" thing would have been enough to send me packing. But it's a specific segment of things that I won't stand for, and it makes very little sense, even to me. Say something sexist or racist or cruel in any way, and you're out- say something about me specifically, beat the shit out of me, treat me like shit, and I won't say anything. I have problems.

I just can't get attached to people who say insulting things that make no sense/have no justification. Because it makes me think that they're stupid. Generalizing to a group of people is just stupid, so if someone does it, my brain goes off with a warning signal. But if it's an individual bitch about me, it's generally true and I don't contest it.

But the thing about me, that I have learned, is that the people I get into relationships with usually don't want to be in a relationship with me, they want to be in a relationship with the pretty guy who they just kind of assume they can then mold into whatever they want, but then give up half-way through because that was too much work or one-sided or whatever, so I don't terminate a lot of relationships, they get terminated on me- because if it were somebody I was going to break up with I would just kind of... not... date them. I tend to know somebody before I'm willing to go into couple status.

 

[HoHoBomb]

cosmetic surgery, getting botox

 

[XdOu™]

there's no room in life for a woman beater

 

[bronzeage]

I've got plenty of deal breakers. The inability to stop being angry all the time is one of them.

See? That's the sort of thing that really pisses me off!

 

[KRCummings]

I think if my spouse were a lying, racist, white trash skank. Fortunately I'm not married to WQ so I don't have to worry about it.

 

[tactful]

Asking what my political views are.

 

[ivantheterrible]

not washing, if she wants sex she has to keep it shaved, not putting your shit away. cheating? i don't care. i don't believe in love so there is no emotional attachment. a relationship is about survival, companionship and sex.

 

[MrPezman]

Love is never having to file a restraining order...

Well, deal breakers. Several in mind here, let me organize a little:

A woman who has such a need for attention that any time I don't pay her attention is a personal affront to her.

A woman who always insists that she's right, everyone else is wrong, and will distort facts around until they support her insistence.

A woman who does not respect her folks. I ignored this in my last relationship, to my own peril.

A woman who thinks that cunnilingus is gross, or is too ashamed of her own vagina to allow it. (This is something I greatly enjoy doing.)

A woman who listens to her friends more than me.

A woman who would rather watch Real Housewives of !@&$%#!% than read a good book.

A woman that believes herself to be superior just because she's a woman. I'm looking for an equal, not a superior, nor am I looking to be superior.

I'd be afraid to even look and see who'd be left after all these dealbreakers...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Most of the women I know collect your faults, like bonds, to use against you when needed for a guilt free split.

 

[CHNOPS]

When push comes to shove few have the guts to leave, regardless of their principles.

Most of the women I know collect your faults, like bonds, to use against you when needed for a guilt free split.

Some days you're off, some days you're on.

Today you're on like parmesan.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Some days you're off, some days you're on.

Today you're on like parmesan.

More like moldy goat cheese.

 

[CHNOPS]

More like moldy goat cheese.

Eh, it's a character. Hard to get too worked up.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Some days you're off, some days you're on.

Today you're on like parmesan.

But its true. And guys and gals need to get real about the bullshit they blabber. Women stick around, regardless, and women collect brown stamps from their guys till they have a guilt free excuse to leave or kill him or fuck the boss.

 

[cj200267]

Believe me when I say.... my man can't cook. He has absolutely no idea of flavours - to him anything is better with a liberal sprinkling of salt and a smear of tomato sauce!
I am an awesome cook, and it is my personal belief that it is my job, not his.
Same as he believes it is his job to do the heavy outdoor work when he is home.(I am happy to do it when he's away).
We have pre-nups, but they are contestable because we have 'no fault' divorce here.
I have never heard of any Australian pre-nup being watertight. Ever.

Do I believe that? Well, so far you're the only woman I know that slaughters her own dinner. And I didn't say you beat your husband, I said he's scared to beat you. Slight difference.

As far as halfsies, a lot of people don't go through with divorce because of the cost. Giving away half the lottery winnings to part ways is a lottery ticket in itself for many.

But again, my comment was meant only to be funny. Obviously I need to work on that (I thought I had a good one to).