💔Lavender's Lit-lationship Break-up Timetable💔

[lavendersilk]

Boom boom... sounds of 2 falling off a cliff.

My favorite animal!

 

[Azuldrgon]

*walks in quietly*
One of the things that makes recovery difficult is when you perceive certain things to "belong" to the ex.
This could be a song (mostly in my case), but also things that bring them to mind.
I started making an effort this week to cleanse the thoughts I have with some things to allow the to be mine again.
It's a long process to be honest, but I am working on it.

 

[BrendaBear]

*walks in quietly*
One of the things that makes recovery difficult is when you perceive certain things to "belong" to the ex.
This could be a song (mostly in my case), but also things that bring them to mind.
I started making an effort this week to cleanse the thoughts I have with some things to allow the to be mine again.
It's a long process to be honest, but I am working on it.

That is so true. Someone I broke up with months ago, after a short, whirlwind romance, liked her steak a certain way. She lives 1,000s of miles away, we never met in person, but she comes to mind pretty much every time I make a steak! What the heck??? Get out of my head, woman!

I still suspect my psyche hates me. It’s just a theory though.

 

[Azuldrgon]

That is so true. Someone I broke up with months ago, after a short, whirlwind romance, liked her steak a certain way. She lives 1,000s of miles away, we never met in person, but she comes to mind pretty much every time I make a steak! What the heck??? Get out of my head, woman!

I still suspect my psyche hates me. It’s just a theory though.

Take your steak back.
You can enjoy it a different way to remember the way it was before her.
Kind of where I am at.
Thinking about my past and claiming things I attributed to them.

 

[Oralexplorer]

*walks in quietly*
One of the things that makes recovery difficult is when you perceive certain things to "belong" to the ex.
This could be a song (mostly in my case), but also things that bring them to mind.
I started making an effort this week to cleanse the thoughts I have with some things to allow the to be mine again.
It's a long process to be honest, but I am working on it.

Ohhh man *pours you a drink* here's to getting back on ya bike!

 

[Oralexplorer]

That is so true. Someone I broke up with months ago, after a short, whirlwind romance, liked her steak a certain way. She lives 1,000s of miles away, we never met in person, but she comes to mind pretty much every time I make a steak! What the heck??? Get out of my head, woman!

I still suspect my psyche hates me. It’s just a theory though.

Damn ! Just cook the steak the way you like it.. unless it's the same then

 

[Peter_Out]

That is so true. Someone I broke up with months ago, after a short, whirlwind romance

 

[Photog1rl]

One of the things that makes recovery difficult is when you perceive certain things to "belong" to the ex.

This is so true and letting go and moving on is so important especially if you will continue to see them. I find that with time why things didn’t work becomes clearer and clearer and the feelings fade. There are certain things I will always associate with certain people but I no longer hurt when I see or hear those things. I have learned how to appreciate and allow those things to bring me joy again.

 

[Peter_Out]

This is so true and letting go and moving on is so important especially if you will continue to see them. I find that with time why things didn’t work becomes clearer and clearer and the feelings fade. There are certain things I will always associate with certain people but I no longer hurt when I see or hear those things. I have learned how to appreciate and allow those things to bring me joy again.

It would be nice to be able to fast-forward through that.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Update:
I went to Michigan on my trip with a certain ring that I connected with a past person.
Currently wearing it remembering that I bought the ring and it is mine and they aren't.
Song-wise, it's been hit or miss.
But I'm working on it.

 

[FreckledSprite]

This is so true and letting go and moving on is so important especially if you will continue to see them. I find that with time why things didn’t work becomes clearer and clearer and the feelings fade. There are certain things I will always associate with certain people but I no longer hurt when I see or hear those things. I have learned how to appreciate and allow those things to bring me joy again.

I have on my To Do List to clear songs that remind me of him out of my Amazon playlists until the day hearing them doesn’t make me feel like I might die.

 

[Shady_nz]

This is so true and letting go and moving on is so important especially if you will continue to see them. I find that with time why things didn’t work becomes clearer and clearer and the feelings fade. There are certain things I will always associate with certain people but I no longer hurt when I see or hear those things. I have learned how to appreciate and allow those things to bring me joy again.

Absolutely!
I've found recently that songs that were once special and reminiscent of someone and what we had ( or what I thought we had) are now just songs and I enjoy them for what they are. Saying that though, there still are a couple I cannot , and will not be able to hear without thinking about that person.

 

[rycat25]

...

 

[FreckledSprite]

On Telegram, we’re able to assign a different pic or emoji to someone’s account if they’re an added contact. So I changed the one of his choosing of him showing off his hot bod, to a Yeti because a cold robot wasn’t an available emoji.

 

[Neanderthal247]

When breaking up, I think it's important to not demonize your ex, so you can reflect and take accountability on my role of the relationship ending. I feel we need to reflect, learn from our mistakes and become better. I also feel ending all contact is important, especially if you still have feelings for her, hoping that you have a chance, where there's no hope is emotional and mental torture. Once you lose all feelings for her, then I feel it's possible to carry on a conversation with them.

 

[FreckledSprite]

When breaking up, I think it's important to not demonize your ex, so you can reflect and take accountability on my role of the relationship ending. I feel we need to reflect, learn from our mistakes and become better. I also feel ending all contact is important, especially if you still have feelings for her, hoping that you have a chance, where there's no hope is emotional and mental torture. Once you lose all feelings for her, then I feel it's possible to carry on a conversation with them.

No Contact is a great tool. I have a Double Limerence issue to combat and we’re actually in a better place with Low Contact instead of setting off a limerent episode by trying to cut all contact again. It feels like a slow death with less emotion involved.

 

[Neanderthal247]

No Contact is a great tool. I have a Double Limerence issue to combat and we’re actually in a better place with Low Contact instead of setting off a limerent episode by trying to cut all contact again. It feels like a slow death with less emotion involved.

I'm a rip the band aide off fast type of guy, I rather hurt more in the short term, to feel better in the long term. To me, low Contact is a slow torture.


Great thing is, we're all different and people can heal their own way.

 

[FreckledSprite]

I'm a rip the band aide off fast type of guy, I rather hurt more in the short term, to feel better in the long term. To me, low Contact is a slow torture.


Great thing is, we're all different and people can heal their own way.

I think people with normal processes can rip the bandaid off. I have with other relationships.

I’ve had a lot of tries with this one person. We were even NC for 50 days before he broke and contacted me again.

Right now feels like the closest to success we’ve had. I’m actually a little excited at the prospect of finally being free.

 

[Neanderthal247]

I think people with normal processes can rip the bandaid off. I have with other relationships.

I’ve had a lot of tries with this one person. We were even NC for 50 days before he broke and contacted me again.

Right now feels like the closest to success we’ve had. I’m actually a little excited at the prospect of finally being free.

A weight lifted off your shoulders.

 

[Noor]

*walks in quietly*
One of the things that makes recovery difficult is when you perceive certain things to "belong" to the ex.
This could be a song (mostly in my case), but also things that bring them to mind.
I started making an effort this week to cleanse the thoughts I have with some things to allow the to be mine again.
It's a long process to be honest, but I am working on it.

Hi, I agree, but somethings are so hard to cleanse your thoughts of.
Or to be open feeling them someday about someone else.
Hi Azuldragon, sorry you’re going through this.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Hi, I agree, but somethings are so hard to cleanse your thoughts of.
Or to be open feeling them someday about someone else.
Hi Azurdragon, sorry you’re going through this.

The nice thing about still being around is that I am stronger as well.
This too will pass.
Thank you though.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Thank you so much for sharing this.

I once felt like I was a bowl of china, shattered into a hundred pieces.
It wasn't love that brought me back together, because it was love that shattered me in the first place.
It wasn't hope that brought me back together, because the light at the end of the tunnel was the firmament from hell.
It wasn't faith that brought me back together, because all it did was prolong my suffering.

I am not back together yet, not completely, nor will I ever be, but every day I try to pour the iron of duty and responsibility in my cracks, like a heavy metal kintsugi. Sometimes grit and resolve is easy. Sometimes it's not.

I am still broken. And yet, I'm enough.

 

[Oralexplorer]

Lavender's Lit-lationship Break-up Timetable

Hello there. If you have stumbled upon my new thread, it wasn't by accident. You belong here. I can help you get through this.

Get you a snack, beverage and find a cozy spot to sit. I want you to be as comfortable as possible.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/7Iv5f7sVsYF0uEQxU4/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952dtos7xwwqd6fwbpx6ozbmykm0badfdvvftmuhfpa&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
Lets get three important things out of the way...

Number 1: You are enough.

Number 2: You will get through this in time.

Number 3: We have all been there and we can help each other.


How soon is now?

When will I finally be free of this pain? How can I speed up the process? The truth is, you can't. And despite the title of this thread, there isn't an exact amount of time. However, I do have a simple timetable that I have come up with that may be of use to you. It isn't an exact science, but if it helps you to see a light at the end of that dark tunnel I've done my job.

Before I share that timetable with you I would like you to close your eyes and envision what you want to happen at the end of this emotional journey.

Can you feel that happiness? Is it within your grasp or is it too far away?

Try to remember how you felt before you got into the relationship. When you were a little bit younger, a little bit naive perhaps, maybe there was a slight spring in your step. Did you laugh easily and smile often?

Hold onto that feeling for a few seconds...



Now you have a goal. You want to get back to that person. I have something to tell you. You will never be that person again. I know that sounds a bit maudlin, but it is a good thing. You will be happy again. You will even get back on that proverbial Lit-lationship horse. But guess what else? You will be:

1: STRONGER.
2: WISER.
3: BETTER



Are you still with me? Good. Alright. Here is my timetable. It has worked for me in the past. I hope it works for you too.

I've broken it down into four simple categories:


DAYS:
For every day you were in the relationship, it will take you an hour to move on.

WEEKS:
For every  week you were in the relationship, it will take you a  day to move on.

MONTHS:
For every  month you were in the relationship, it will take you a  week to move on.

YEARS:
For every  year you were in the relationship, it will take you a  month to move on.



I encourage you to share what you feel comfortable sharing. Comment about how you got over your break-up. Commiserate with your fellow Litster.

Let's help each other get through this. We can do it.

TOGETHER!

@Nightbird for you mate. Don't stay on the canvas for too long..