How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[Wand3rlust]

^^^

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Use Jolly Ranchers as part of foreplay

 

[Apisto42]

Correct their grammar during sexting.

Doesn’t everyone do this?

And your emojis are broken. I expected better of you.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Doesn’t everyone do this?

And your emojis are broken. I expected better of you.

If not, they absolutely should

 

[Wand3rlust]

Doesn’t everyone do this?

And your emojis are broken. I expected better of you.

If not, they absolutely should

I hang my head in shame.

Oh wait. *narrows eyes*

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Ooh. Narrowing eyes is a good one! Do that! Men love it

 

[Wand3rlust]

*stares*

 

[Apisto42]

*stares at your crotch*

FIFY.

You dirty girl.

 

[MrPimms]

Is this going to be a kindle best seller?

 

[AtramentousRex]

Declare that you are the Master and Commander of the Friend Zone and ruler of that domain.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Really set the mood by lighting some candles, scatter rose petals on the bed, and put on Alapaloosa by Weird Al Yankovich. No foreplay needed.

 

[Chernosoth]

When looking for pussy, send messages to all the litsters who might be female, but probably aren't. Let that detail wait awhile before getting around to it.

 

[Deadbed1968]

When looking for pussy, send messages to all the litsters who might be female, but probably aren't. Let that detail wait awhile before getting around to it.

Make sure each message has a personalized dick pick too!

 

[Deadbed1968]

Tell the ladies who will actually engage with you that you are wearing your robe and wizard hat…IYKYK!

 

[fullservice65]

Releasing swarms of killer elves.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Really set the mood by lighting some candles, scatter rose petals on the bed, and put on Alapaloosa by Weird Al Yankovich. No foreplay needed.

There is no artist more romantic than Weird Al ...Flow, Flow, Pancreatic juice! Flow, Flow, into the duodenum!

 

[Pad_Foot]

•Whine and complain in every post!

•Act like you know everything, even if it's obvious that you don't.

•Write every female Litster that posts, and copy/paste to all the new ones, we don't want anyone feeling left out.

Be this guy!!

 

[AllAmericanMale]

Dislike dogs.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

There is no artist more romantic than Weird Al ...Flow, Flow, Pancreatic juice! Flow, Flow, into the duodenum!

You are now my favorite for knowing that!!!!

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Tell her it's her fault you can't get hard.

 

[Deadbed1968]

There is no artist more romantic than Weird Al ...Flow, Flow, Pancreatic juice! Flow, Flow, into the duodenum!

His accordion playing is simply sublime…

 

[Ratchetman1982]

As you begin peeling her clothes off, read the labels and tell her how many kids were tortured to make each garment. Have a running tally and give her a grade at the end.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Send her links to your favored porn. If she fails to reply, send them again. She must want you bad

 

[Ratchetman1982]

During your first meet up, burst into a rockabilly version of First Time in Forever from Frozen

 

[MiaBabe23]

As you begin peeling her clothes off, read the labels and tell her

Not liking the amalgamation in the imagery there, but you’d be surprised how many of us are mindful of such things, and glad to know if not having been aware