How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[Ratchetman1982]

Not liking the amalgamation in the imagery there, but you’d be surprised how many of us are mindful of such things, and glad to know if not having been aware

These are important things to know. Plus, it creates a deeper connection

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Act like an utter asshole to get attention, like that turns anyone on.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Oh and message people with weird requests.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Talk about your toenail clipping collection

 

[Wand3rlust]

I mean, it's pretty extensive. And some are even mine.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Talk about your toenail clipping collection

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

You've gone too far now, lady... too far...

 

[cheekygirl75]

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

Or that you eat scabs!

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Or that you eat scabs!

Oh fuck!

I thought my post was bad

 

[Pad_Foot]

Stay here 24/7
Your odds get better the longer you keep clicking and posting

 

[HopefulRetirement]

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

Pre or post shower?

 

[Xerxes82]

Always open your first DM with "I know you're not as hot as @TotallyNotTaegul , but you'll do in a pinch, I suppose."

 

[Wand3rlust]

Goals.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

Or tell your prospective partner that you eat toenail clippings.

I am trying to "not" get lit laid.. not throw up in their laps!

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Actually out Pee-wee's Big Adventure in its entirety on the first date.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Here’s one!
Lay out your heart like they are your one true soulmate for life that always gets women hot
Do that in your first DM don’t wait until they seem to be cutting you loose!

 

[Deadbed1968]

Shave their Nom d’Plume into your chest hair, and send them a picture of the results as proof of your intentions. Bonus points if you are female!

 

[smtst5]

Offer up gently worn boxers, skid marks included.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Used boxers ?
Please !!
Offer your used sex toys !!
Pure genius

 

[TotallyNotTaegul]

Always open your first DM with "I know you're not as hot as @TotallyNotTaegul , but you'll do in a pinch, I suppose."

Guys really don't need to say that. I'm fairly certain all the women on Lit are already well aware of who the true king queen of Lit really is.

Tee hee hee
XOXOXO TNT

 

[bunny4med]

fart right before they come into the room and try blaming the dog.

 

[Deadbed1968]

fart right before they come into the room and try blaming the dog.

Here on lit, none of us fart, or have bad breath, or BO, and we are all built like Greek gods…

 

[bunny4med]

Here on lit, none of us fart, or have bad breath, or BO, and we are all built like Greek gods…

10 inch penises and 36DD tits. LOL

 

[Whiskeyjack]

10 inch penises and 36DD tits. LOL

Umm... maybe the Greek gods had different units of measurement... Or else men have been severely lying to you about what 10 inches is.