🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[drobert44]

I wank better on my pc

 

[lavendersilk]

I wank better on my pc

Nominated for not reading the room.

 

[StillRain]

Nominate @StillRain for the wanker move of not finding a new PoJ

Not a single wanker has taken their hand off it long enough to consider taking the time to step up to this thankless illustrious position.

I guess it’s a big task to live up to the incredible examples that have been set so far with our esteemed panel of judge.

I get it. No one could be quite so lazy as @Bry1313 or as snarky as @Wand3rlust or as greedy for your cash as @InThe312 or as wildly delightful as me.

 

[Apisto42]

Digging out Gavin been bacon dashing…..

 

[InThe312]

Well party people, here we are. The final list has been compiled. Many of you have wanked. Some have wanked well while others, well you suck at wanking. You wank at wanking as one might say.

I leave you with the final list. I must return to my chambers and spin the bingo cage to find out who wins this week.

(Nominee / Money Line / Over Under on total WotWs)
@ToPleaseHim for Dickie, bandwagoning, limiting the candidate pool / -300 / 1
@Apisto42 for being a shit salad / +500 / 2
@Jafo for clearing not understanding the assignment / -150 / 1
@Azuldrgon for white knighting, kissing arse / E / 1
@Tigobitties98 for not giving @OrdinaryPerson more dress pics, rights violations, condoning, condoning JoJo, enabling / +500 / 2
@deefalttwunnyfor for emojis, having an impossible username, hot boy anal fail / -150 / 1
@Lmizzler for not being able to spell, WOW, jealousy, Jedi mind tricks / +250 / 1
@hotwords229_A for hot boy anal fail, projection, hissy fitting, accusations, self nominating, expectations, questioning, presumtions, thirst / -150 / 2
@StillRain for nom nom noming again, shit salad, smart decisions, failed PoJ search / +600 / 1
@SalaciousMonkey22 for lazy wanking, hate, willy mayo, nomination excluding, bait and switch, ignorance, diobeying / +500 / 1
@crazychemgirl for confused, thinking, non spicy mayo, dirty mayo, susceptibility, denial, being private, rote, rubbing sans lube, tagging and typing fails, spreading her legs, bossy / +300 / 3
@SirConradPeckereye for comprehension, AV fail, no mo fo to, watermarkery / -100 / 2
@__Nathan1968 for rotten tomatoes, dicking tomatoes, not dicking @Bry1313 with a tomato, contradiction, holding out, short pants, dental favoritism, undulgent linking, try hard / -275 / 1
@Yesok1 for gossip (that's b-a-n-a-n-a-s), not knowing how wanking works, video water boarding, thinking @Wand3rlust would do anything positive, driving a banana, being worse, immaturity / -275 / 2
@OrdinaryPerson for no dick, unwanted pressure, personal helium, bribery / +200 / 1
@Wand3rlust for losing the Revolutionary War / +250 / 1
@lavendersilk for inviting jealousy, libel, anti-libel, and libel again I think, no understanding mobile emojis, thirst, more libel?, nor rubbing one out / -200 / 1
@Wriggle for eating (that's b-a-n-a-n-a-s) / +500 / 2
@Mr_bogey for being a prude / E / 1
@LupineOne for sucking up, insults, exluding / -150 / 1
@Bry1313 for pouting, implicating, deflategate, jealousy / +200 / 2
@morelikeasong for white knighting / -150 / 1
@PrettyLilPussy19 for wanking (I think that's the point) / -175 / 1
@Otis_Ravelli for ick / -150 / 1
@Shenanigans90 for ick / -150 / 1
@AmberLGreen for shoving something up hotwords229_A ass (this doesn't count as hot boy anal), overindulgence / +200 / 1
@ydahecnot for being himself / -150 / 1
@drobert44 for being one of those people / -100 / 1

 

[InThe312]

It is with a heavy heart that I stand here before you wankers and award the final trophy and certificate of my reign. I want to express my sincere appreciation for @StillRain for bestowing this great honor on me. I'm not sure where I lie in the anals, but I definitely know I was better than @Bry1313. I can now go back to wanking like the rest of you and see if I can get another trophy for my case.

That being said *sniff*

*wipes away a little tear*

You might be surprised to find out that very few of your names can be spelled with just B I N G and O. Truthfully, it's none of you. I emptied that tumbler 3 times before I figured it out.

So we're back to my completely biased opinion. I can honestly say, this person did not wank the most this week, but they did commit the cardinal wanking and have not been held accountable. I'm certainly the only one who would do such a thing.


















Time for the scrolling. What good are these posts without the scrolling.


















Y'all know I'm not going to give @crazychemgirl another win right? Geez, you really do pile on.

@hotwords229_A you almost had it...but really Amber tried to fix the vote. No hot boy anal, I think you never win.










And the envelope please. *looks around for my assistant*


Oh, here it is, right on the podium.


This week's Wanker of the Week is...




@ToPleaseHim - congratulations on your Wanker of the Week. Although your wanking is overall pretty mediocre, you had to know that during my PoJ reign, you'd finally win one for Dickie. He was our alt, not another Jasmine

I hope you enjoy the 1 of 1 Dickie commemorative trophy and will display it with honor for all of your family to see at Thanksgiving.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Wow, what an honor! "Wanker of the Week." I want to say I didn't see this coming, but I was paying attention to the published odds and knew I had a fair chance of being recognized this week.

First and foremost, I want to thank the PoJ for recognizing my unique talents. It's not every day you get acknowledged for your distinctive contributions to mediocre wanking—oh, wait. That's right. You called me mediocre. Mediocre? I mean, if this award is a testament to my skills, then I'm clearly excelling at something, right?

Let's get one thing straight. Mediocre people blend into the background. They don't get nominated for prestigious titles like "Wanker of the Week." Thank you to those who nominated me, which I really think was just the Panel of Judge (ummm…this feels like it was possibly rigged).

In closing, I'd like to dedicate this award to @InThe312 and, I suppose, to “Dickie,” without whom this win wouldn’t have been possible.

ETA: I do appreciate that the dick is actually glowing. Nice touch, @InThe312

 

[StillRain]

Wow! Never saw this one coming, except that I’ve been waiting four weeks for this for sure.

Congratulations @ToPleaseHim on the receipt of this, most honourable, and sought after award, together with this one of a kind special glowing trophy! I am speechless, but you are not which is wonderful . How long, though until @SalaciousMonkey22 will be in complaining about all the words??

Thank you to our panel of judge @InThe312 for running the betting pool acting as PoJ this month, and also to DickieGlows (wherever he may be). Without him @ToPleaseHim would not have been able to reach for the womaniser stars and get this award.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Let's get one thing straight. Mediocre people blend into the background. They don't get nominated for prestigious titles like "Wanker of the Week."

 

[ydahecnot]

I wank better on my pc

Just be sure to wipe the keyboard

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Wow! Never saw this one coming, except that I’ve been waiting four weeks for this for sure.

Congratulations @ToPleaseHim on the receipt of this, most honourable, and sought after award, together with this one of a kind special glowing trophy! I am speechless, but you are not which is wonderful . How long, though until @SalaciousMonkey22 will be in complaining about all the words??

Thank you to our panel of judge @InThe312 for running the betting pool acting as PoJ this month, and also to DickieGlows (wherever he may be). Without him @ToPleaseHim would not have been able to reach for the womaniser stars and get this award.

This long.

 

[StillRain]

This long.

This gif could only be more perfect if he was wanking. Or cumming everywhere.

 

[morelikeasong]

This gif could only be more perfect if he was wanking. Or cumming everywhere.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

This gif could only be more perfect if he was wanking. Or cumming everywhere.

Nominated far insinuating I ever pick less than the exactly perfect gif.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Nominated for improving upon my gif.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Almost spit out my coffee… thanks for this

 

[crazychemgirl]

Nominating @Amanda330 for not admitting she is definitely worthy of being stalked

 

[Amanda330]

Nominating @Amanda330 for not admitting she is definitely worthy of being stalked

I don't even know how to respond to this nomination.

I'm obviously not myself today. Lol

 

[crazychemgirl]

Nominating for this absolutely unhinged attitude… @Apisto42

I really liked walking the wrong way down the aisles and watching peoples’ faces as I did so.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Nominating @Bry1313 for saying he’s weird and that’s why you should stalk him.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Nominated because I had to read it.

Would this be…cum drunk?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Nominated because I had to read it.

…I deserve this. I’m sorry.

 

[StillRain]

Wanker of the Week Anals
‘There ain’t nowhere to go butt up.’


The recipients (so far) of this prestigious non-popularity, popularity prize as nominated by peers and voted on by a completely impartial, non-biased but probably totally biased, randomly changing, always extraordinary and exquisitely discerning, hugely overworked panel of judge.


@Apisto42
@EvilJasmine
@Bry1313
@StillRain

~

@Lmizzler
@crazychemgirl
@OrdinaryPerson
@Wand3rlust
@AWonkyDonkey
@SalaciousMonkey22

~

@InThe312
@Wriggle
@Amanda330
@Taegul
@Mrtenant

~

@UnquietDreams
(Special Edition Darth Dick)
@AmberLGreen
@Tigobitties98
@ToPleaseHim
(Special Edition Glow Dick)

~



Esteemed Panel of Judge acknowledgements over the course of the greatest award in the history of history:

@StillRain
@Bry1313
@Wand3rlust
@InThe312

​

 

[crazychemgirl]

Previously stalkworthy
Currently stalkunworthy

Nominating @Lmizzler for this absolute nonsense

 

[Apisto42]

Nominating @Lmizzler for this absolute nonsense

Nominating CCG for stalking @Lmizzler