Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[SirConradPeckereye]

Parole? Now we're talking

Just don't mind the ankle bracelet.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Wanna fuck?

Do you mind just swiping your credit card here first?

No, it’s totally not gonna charge you.., I just want to do a credit check first.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Wanna come home with me?

Who him?

Nah, he’s just my parole officer. As long as I don’t go within 50yards of my house I’m ok.

Just don't be like my ex staring at the parole officer the entire time saying "oh yea you like that big boy"

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Can I touch it?

Just don't yank on it too hard, don't need the cops swarming, again today.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

Don't give me that look, @ImpishSeraph. You HAD to have known that was my line.

I made it up as I typed it to match your picture LoL

How bout...cum on me baby, Light my fire?

 

[SmokingFap]

I made it up as I typed it to match your picture LoL

How bout...cum on me baby, Light my fire?

You had me at cum.

 

[SmokingFap]

Wanna fuck?

Do you mind just swiping your credit card here first?

No, it’s totally not gonna charge you.., I just want to do a credit check first.

Oh, please. Like you don't take coins.

 

[Biggalute]

I work for Autoglass, I have a special resin, perfect for filling your crack

 

[Taegul]

Dear attractive Litster I've been appreciating for a very long time,

I am Prince Taegul from Nigeria. Your help would be very much appreciated. I want to transfer all of my fortune outside of Nigeria due to a frozen account. If you could be so kind and transfer the small sum of 5,000 US dollars to my account, I would be able to unfreeze my account and transfer my money outside of Nigeria. To repay your kindness, I will send 1,000,000 US dollars to your account...

 

[crazychemgirl]

I heard you like butts….


Can you buy me one?

 

[Taegul]

I heard you like butts….


Can you buy me one?

Why don't you sit in my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

 

[deft]

If England win tonight, I’ll show you my Pannini sticker album. I have swapsies!

 

[Shymidwestgirl]

Want to go play BINGO? They have $2.00 hot dogs. I’ll even treat since I asked you out.

 

[deft]

Want to go play BINGO? They have $2.00 hot dogs. I’ll even treat since I asked you out.

A meal for two, with a beautiful view… 69!

 

[crazychemgirl]

“pour some sugar on me” starts playing …

This used to be my JAM when I hung out at the strip clubs.. wanna see my signature move?

 

[deft]

“pour some sugar on me” starts playing …

This used to be my JAM when I hung out at the strip clubs.. wanna see my signature move?

Does it involve sliding down a pole?

 

[SmokingFap]

“pour some sugar on me” starts playing …

This used to be my JAM when I hung out at the strip clubs.. wanna see my signature move?

I've seen it. You make Elaine on Seinfeld look like a world-class ballerina.

 

[SmokingFap]

What do you mean you haven't cum yet? The Uber I called for you is gonna be here in about three minutes, so good luck.

 

[crazychemgirl]

So who are you interested in? I could totally be your wingwoman

 

[SmokingFap]

So who are you interested in? I could totally be your wingwoman

You gals are terrible at being bad at flirting.

 

[Apisto42]

So who are you interested in? I could totally be your wingwoman

So tell me more about your cherry tatas.

 

[Apisto42]

You gals are terrible at being bad at flirting.

Need a light?

 

[SmokingFap]

My wife? Don't worry about her. She's only jealous if I fuck a five or better.

 

[SmokingFap]

Need a light?

Sure! But I'm a guy. I know, the long blonde hair and perfect tits are misleading.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Can you just pose for a pic with me?

I’m totally not trying to make my ex jealous.