Sex & Shenanigans

[UnquietDreams]

I love you pervs so much, I don’t want to miss a moment of the shenanigans I’ll treasure this butthole, along with my other vagina

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Highly deserved.

I was speaking to someone about these awards. They are silly, but silly means a lot of things, and one of them is "important." S&S is silly. Amazingly silly. Astoundingly silly. And very important. And you are a lot of that.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Yeah, if you want to see lips, just tell yourself that’s lips

Does the trophy have changeable inserts, like a fleshlight? Y’know, like able to change the insert between vagina, asshole, mouth, or the basic bitch-looking thing that’s ribbed AF?

The third honourable mention goes to someone near and dear to me.. and I want them to know they are never forgotten here.. and will always be #1

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Why did he leave anyway?

*ahem* Jealous

https://media1.giphy.com/media/fUpocChFusfX0sCkuG/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952ytwfg1v28jq7v7882ik55gmpmwtknkm3pbaitdlw&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

LOL I like how both these posts were RIGHT AFTER the total package award What timing!

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Holy meow monsters Nebs! Don’t you know how wonderful and amazing we all think you are? Good God woman! You are so adored here! We love you, for being you. Because you are pretty wonderful.

Is this aftercare??? Now tell me I’m a bad little girl.

I’m just kidding Brenda, you humble me. I don’t think im all that and a dime sack but if im bringing people joy… well then, I guess I’m ok

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Good Evening @PlanetaryNebula

Good Sleep

Hello Rj

 

[BrendaBear]

Is this aftercare??? Now tell me I’m a bad little girl.

I’m just kidding Brenda, you humble me. I don’t think im all that and a dime sack but if im bringing people joy… well then, I guess I’m ok

Nebs… you are magic, in the flesh. Like it or not, you are a light bearer.

 

[Nicefella]

Is this aftercare??? Now tell me I’m a bad little girl.

I’m just kidding Brenda, you humble me. I don’t think im all that and a dime sack but if im bringing people joy… well then, I guess I’m ok

Yes you is.

You is ok, Ms All That & A Dime Sack

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Yes you is.

You is ok, Ms All That & A Dime Sack

Thank you guys

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Here... Let me help....
8======D + ( o )( o ) + ( Y ) = : -) ;- )

FIFY

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Ooooh this is a good one.


I’m 43 and I can’t dive into water

I’m 40 and I can’t blow bubbles in bubblegum I can unwrap Starbursts with my tongue though, so it’s not a dexterity issue

It’s out of love my dear


Plus … isn’t this one way better than that weird penis award from another thread?

The penis trophy would be great, if only that pesky hand wasn’t in the wa…oh…I mean…yup, so much better *Nods*

I'm 45 and I can't mind my own business.
I also can't touch my toes without bending my knees.

I used to be able to bend over and put my elbows on the floor without bending my knees. Still bendy enough to put my hands flat on the floor with a bit of extra bend in my elbows. Just in case anyone needed that mental image for…reasons

 

[BodieOhl]

FIFY

I was going to, but thought maybe she had inside information I didn't know about.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I'm 39 and I can't swim.

I can teach you how to swim, and you can grab my floatation devices

Yeah, the last 20 minutes or so of Endgame just fucks me up. "On your left"...

Oh several of Marvel ones get me. "We are Groot" breaks me every time.

It’s the father-daughter cheeseburger connection for me. First time I saw that video compilation, it broke me. My dad isn’t the best dad, but one thing I can count on is that he’ll come over and make me cheeseburgers when I’m feeling anemic. I was living in FL at the time, and feeling extra anemic that day, and wished so hard that my dad could be there to make me a cheeseburger

Actually, I think it is British.

Dammit. Can't we have anything?

Edited to add: that was sarcasm. I have to say this because I am not @Wand3rlust

Mac n cheese? Nope, not British! It was imported from France to America by one of Thomas Jefferson’s slaves, James Hemings. (Yes, brother to Sally Hemings, who was also enslaved by Thomas Jefferson, as well as raped and impregnated by him multiple times, just like their mother who was enslaved, raped and impregnated by their father, Thomas Jefferson’s father-in-law, as was their grandmother by his father. It was all kinds of fucked up.) Anyhoo, James Hemings trained as a chef in the 5 years Jefferson was posted in France, and learned French and Italian cooking, mornay sauce and pasta among them.

I think they are willing to say the Blue box is all us.

One of my other Canadian friends told me years ago they’re not even legally allowed to call the blue box monstrosity “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese” in Canada because the orange powder is not legally classified as cheese. They have to call it “Kraft Dinner” there

HA I didn’t even notice

*Laughs, but also runs to check the spelling on mine*

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Most backcountry rednecks cooking meth don’t have chem degrees. Jus sayn

Yeah, but then they end up blowing their kitchens up. Just sayin’

I’m considering the purchase of this island off the coast of Maine. It would make a great location for a sex cult. Just saying.


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As CEO and ambassador of @Indie Has a Cute Butt (Totally Not a Cult) LLC, I’d like to reserve a west-facing room for the summer symposium

True. But in a tropical setting you can be naked and fucking outdoors year round.

Damn, I miss living in Puerto Rico.

Nono, tropical settings have humidity and mosquitoes. A warm, arid climate like Southern California is much more suited to exposed skin and physical activity

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

On this topic… what does everyone think about outdoor sex?
Are you a fan?

I love it. However, there are definitely downsides.
One time I was fucking in a park at night and my ass got sooo bitten by mosquitoes. Thank god this was before my mosquito allergy developed because that would have been truly miserable.

And I’m thinking about a tropical location… heat and humidity. Sure, I’d be down for a few passionate, sweaty, outdoor fucks, but mostly I’d probably want to do it inside with a/c.

EXACTLY! Damn mosquitos Also, as someone who used be engaged to a guy with very active sweat glands: sex cults need cool, dry environments. Your poor sex slaves give so much; they deserve better!

Don't they have a hockey team?

Yes, LA Kings. The Anaheim Ducks are in neighboring Orange County too

Maybe. I don’t know. Nobody likes hockey

LIES!

Hockey is too good for some places. LA doesn't deserve it.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

My thoughts on beach sex makes me sound like Anakin.

I hate sand. It gets everywhere!

If you take my hatred of glitter and multiply it by every grain of sand on the beach, that sums up my feelings for beach sex Then again, I might be willing to try doggystyle, or bent over a cooler, or some position that ensures none of my Princess parts touch the sand

I’m a fan of outdoor sex. And any of you naysayers who want to pretend you’re too good for it, I have two words. Hot tub. Hot tub sex is perhaps the greatest invention since the blowjob (with the exception of the hot tub blowjob) and 97.3% of hot tub sex takes place in the out-of-fucking-doors.

Outdoor sex is great, especially if there’s a possibility of getting caught. It’s just beach sex that’s nowhere near as fun as the movies make it look

 

[__Nathan1968]

As CEO and ambassador of @Indie Has a Cute Butt (Totally Not a Cult) LLC, I’d like to reserve a west-facing room for the summer symposium

Sorry, 12 month commitments only.
As the grandmother of a buddy in Virginia used to tell him, “If you can’t take the winters, you don’t deserve the summers.”

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

LOL I like how both these posts were RIGHT AFTER the total package award What timing!

Okay, I'll admit I spoke too soon. These awards were legit and I respect the democracy in which they were founded under. Absolutely no vote tampering took place and I hold the panel of judge to the highest esteem.

 

[Apisto42]

I'm convinced no one actually fucks in water other than in movies and whoever wrote those scenes have obviously not actually tried it.

Not true. I have a memory of a magical evening fuck in a very nice lake (it was magical regardless of the other 30 people also skinny dipping nearby, though holding a conversation while fucking was not the most desirable).

"They need more adult-themed rides in that park for us horny people.Take the Log Ride--make it the Big Pecker Ride! Big ol pecker, floating in the water. Put six guys in it and send it up Titty Mountain. Down Titty Mountain, round the nipple as you go by. Right into a big ol puss, just--pffft! I'm not talking about a clean-shaven little Hitler mustache manicured puss. It's a garden, woman--let it grow, God gave it to to you! I'm talking about an au naturel, 1970's, Buckwheat-on-a-bad-hair-day puss! I want to go over Titty Mountain and know daddy's going in something raw!

"'HOLD ON BOYS--WE'RE GOIN' IN THE PUSS!! AHHHHHH!'
"'Shit, is it dark in here? I'm wet--do you smell that? What is that??'"

The other people on the quiet car of the train are giving me dirty looks for actually laughing out loud.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I have received a total of... let me count... four unwanted links to dick pics. Honestly, they don't bother me that much. They make me laugh.

I have received one request to be in a Mommy roleplay and one other ageplay request.

I have received multiple flirtatious messages that last only a handful of back and forths before they fizzle out.

I have made five friends who I contact outside of Lit. And multiple friends who I randomly chat with. I want/need more. *hint* *hint*

I am very lucky.

Oddly enough, I’ve gotten more unsolicited dick pics on PlayStation Network than I have on Lit. Apparently, some guys thought the appropriate reaction to me shooting them in the face and taunting them on headset was to send dick pics. Humiliation kink, maybe?

I will take them on the small world ride and drown them in the dirty Disney water

They use bromine instead of chlorine to disinfect their water, but yeah, in It’s a Small World specifically, it always smells like copper because of all the pennies people throw in

The number of people that attempt to dump loved ones ashes in that ride is…disturbing.

Definitely among the weirder things I’ve seen there

Was it Fire Dick!?!!?

I used to date/fuck this guy, he had like a 9.5inch cock on which he tattooed a bunch of flames. (He did the tat himself) . He was also a GREAT fuck. And everytime we would plow I would yell “fire in the hole!”

Oh god I thought Fire Dick was just someone with red pubes. That’s so much better in the worst way

 

[LupineOne]

Yeah, the last 20 minutes or so of Endgame just fucks me up. "On your left"...

Every time. It’ll never matter that I’ve watched it a thousand times before.

“How ya doing squirt?”
“Good.”
“You hungry?”
“Mhm.”
“What do you want?”
“Cheeseburgers.”

Goddamn it. I was emotional as hell the last 20 minutes but held it together until that last line. It still breaks me

 

[__Nathan1968]

I will

I'm convinced no one actually fucks in water other than in movies and whoever wrote those scenes have obviously not actually tried it.

I admit it has been a long time, but I will attest to a number of successful and mutually enjoyable underwater couplings. Plus, where do you think mermaids come from?

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

You’re doing a good job of pretending like it’s not OP but we know.

HOW DARE YOU!? @OrdinaryPerson has a 10-incher, don’t try to sell her short

It was the biggest dick I ever had. Like it never fully could seat itself in my umm…. In me.

Thanks to my 7-inch dildo, I learned my little kitty can only really take about 6.5 inches C’est la vie

Wait--what's going on with Nebbie's cunt??

Wouldn’t you like to know! Wait, so would I…

It’s straight fire. Apparently,

Confirmed! ‘Tis very hot

And a glorious hole. Not to be confused with…

Also confirmed!

 

[lavendersilk]

Good morning, @Kitty_so_frisky! I see you are making the rounds. Happy Friday!

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

My brothers set the bar so low that as long as I wasn't pregnant, working the pole, or slamming heroin, I really could do whatever I wanted

Wait, so…no judgement, but was one of your brothers working the pole?

I'm waiting for your 11pm update to catch up.

Awww…sorry to keep everyone waiting, I wasn’t feeling well earlier in the afternoon/evening. Then I had some *cough* needs to tend to once I felt better

Red velvet cake facts, could you be any more attractive

I am a font of useless knowledge

Highly deserved.

I was speaking to someone about these awards. They are silly, but silly means a lot of things, and one of them is "important." S&S is silly. Amazingly silly. Astoundingly silly. And very important. And you are a lot of that.

I love silly, weird, pervy, freaky, geeky, nerdy, dorky people. This thread feels like home. Not the home we all grow up in, but definitely the home we make for ourselves when we go out into the world and find our tribe

Sorry, 12 month commitments only.
As the grandmother of a buddy in Virginia used to tell him, “If you can’t take the winters, you don’t deserve the summers.”

12 months…in a row? In Maine?! How about 2 summer months a year, for the next 6 years of Sex Cults and Sexy Totally-Not-Cults Symposiums? Otherwise, it’s a big NOPE, swiftly followed by a boycott and request of venue change. You can keep your cold, rainy winters

Every time. It’ll never matter that I’ve watched it a thousand times before.

“How ya doing squirt?”
“Good.”
“You hungry?”
“Mhm.”
“What do you want?”
“Cheeseburgers.”

Goddamn it. I was emotional as hell the last 20 minutes but held it together until that last line. It still breaks me

Yessssss, that part, exactly!

Good morning, @Kitty_so_frisky! I see you are making the rounds. Happy Friday!

Good morning to you! Almost bedtime for me

 

[Azuldrgon]

It's an honor just to remain un-nominated

I echo this sentiment.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Sorry, 12 month commitments only.
As the grandmother of a buddy in Virginia used to tell him, “If you can’t take the winters, you don’t deserve the summers.”

Umm....the summers are way too hot over there.
If there's one benefit to being on this side of the country and in this corner, although the only benefit, it is to miss the extreme weather my original home state offered.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I echo this sentiment.

The nominations/ballots were private, but FWIW, you were not un-nominated!