The Awkward Flirt Thread

Dessert? Here, hold the popcorn and pass the Raisinettes

Takes a raisinette and tosses it in the air, all cool like to catch it in my mouth. Bounces off my forehead and hits you in the eye.


Fantastic my parents are coming too cuz they have to drive us there. Hope you don't mind.
omg. this earns my most awkward parent story. Not mine though, his. I was like 15 and looking for a place to party. I just met him, he was maybe 18 or 19 and volunteered. I questioned if he had his own place, he says no, but a basement apartment in his parents home. Now, I am wearing a low cut, tight, crop top, high heeled boots, jeans ripped to the point of near obscenity, heavy black eyeliner, heavy dark red lipstick, basically I look like nothing but Trouble. We get there are we head to the front door, I assume his parents must be asleep. nope, right there in the living room. The mother was super nice, like amazingly so. While dads liked me, mom's really did not.

Anyway, We head downstairs, she comes down shortly. She sees my giant vodka bottle that I was trying to push out of view when I heard her, she goes upstairs and brings down glasses and orange juice and cranberry juice. Sees my cigarettes, goes and gets ashtrays. Comes back with fresh bedding, and changes his bedding. Then extra towels. Offers to cook me something, which I declined. Then she calls her mother to inform her that her son brought home a girl, and makes me say hi to her. All this time he keeps trying to nicely shoo her away. Finally she checks in to let us know they are going to bed, and it is on the second floor, so we don't need to worry about waking them, she just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything she could get me. She also brought down breakfast in the morning. It freaked me the hell out. Why the hell is she so damn excited?
 
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decide to give you a compliment as that always sells flirting. Try to say I think your shirt is really cute, instead tell you that I think your sister is really cute.
I'll see if she'll come cow-tipping too 😁

Hi! You looked hot so I brought you this *trips and spills the glass of wine all over you* shit! I'm so sorry ummm let me clean that up for you... by the way I'm Somethingdifferent74 😁
 
I'll see if she'll come cow-tipping too 😁

Hi! You looked hot so I brought you this *trips and spills the glass of wine all over you* shit! I'm so sorry ummm let me clean that up for you... by the way I'm Somethingdifferent74 😁
notices a drop of wine splashed on your face too. go to wipe it off, poke you in the eye. Hi, I am Justa and this is how I roll. Do you have health insurance?
 
Write
notices a drop of wine splashed on your face too. go to wipe it off, poke you in the eye. Hi, I am Justa and this is how I roll. Do you have health insurance?
Sees the fun thread and decides to join in ... and writes my number on a piece of paper and slides it to you.

Then realizes you are female and tries to take it back discretely ....
 
notices a drop of wine splashed on your face too. go to wipe it off, poke you in the eye. Hi, I am Justa and this is how I roll. Do you have health insurance?
Not yet I'm still under the 90 day probationary period. Nice to meet you Justa *goes to shake your hand and my artificial arm falls off* geeezus sorry bout that I have an appointment at the VA Tomorrow. I was jerk... I was doing yard work and lost a screw.
 
Tries to pick up the note and bangs my head on your knee
Offers you ice, then proceeds to sing Ice Ice Baby. Too Cold Too Cold, Vanilla Ice Ice Baby, then can't help dancing. except the whole I can't dance thing.

Not yet I'm still under the 90 day probationary period. Nice to meet you Justa *goes to shake your hand and my artificial arm falls off* geeezus sorry bout that I have an appointment at the VA Tomorrow. I was jerk... I was doing yard work and lost a screw.
proceeds to ask personal question about how you lost your arm. wonders out loud if it effects jacking off.
 
So, I don’t have enough ice for everyone. I only have whats left over from my iced latte. Who wants to smell like pumpkin spice coffee?
Well, luckily I already do, spilled one on my boobs during breakfast. Reminds me to shake out the crumbs from lunch. oh hey chocolate. offers a piece of boob chocolate.
 
Uhm .... looks back and forth at everyone as i hold am left holding the paper with my number on it.

Gets side track as I see the chocolate. Ohhh ... and stuffs a piece in my mouth getting my face all chocolaty.

Then waves a hi to everyone with chocolate fingers like nothing is wrong.
 
Uhm .... looks back and forth at everyone as i hold am left holding the paper with my number on it.

Gets side track as I see the chocolate. Ohhh ...
Umm too awkward for this, want to just get a coffee and talk about literature?
 
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