Why do older men become bi-curious?

My real-time experience with guys is minimal but my desires go back to childhood. Playing with guys online for the past 20 or so years taught me that there is a great distance between guys who want to jerk or suck with other guys and guys who wish they could be bred and get pregnant. I fall into the former category. Initially, I loved wrestling with guys for the chance to grind crotch. I never thought about sucking just feeling another cock in my hand or rubbing against mine. My theory is that guys like me started liking cock from playing with our own. Eventually, I wanted to suck my own cock but was unable. The only solution to fulfilling that desire is to suck another.

From decades of m2m activities, I find that male sexuality is as varied as men themselves are. I don't fall into either group that you mentioned. Even from an early age I was attracted to the male behind if it was attached to a masculine, HAIRY, muscular man. I understand that cock cums with the territory, but it was never something I craved. I never enjoyed m2m sex until a couple or so years past my first time when a guy finally let me penetrate him. For the first time, I truly enjoyed m2m sex. While I know it isn't technically possible to breed a man, that fantasy gets me off every time. I do not envision myself feminizing him, simply sharing my genes with him and creating life that bonds us even closer. As much as I extremely physically enjoy the sexual sensations of being inside a guy, it is more about the "connection". Many more men are open to lollipop sex, but I never reached orgasm from oral. The longer the connection, the more I enjoyed it, something that anal lends itself to more easily than oral. I also never enjoyed jack-hammering a guy's ass. I wanted it to last and for the guy to want to do it again and again with me on other occasions, so my own orgasm was a bit secondary, and note that I always stopped if the guy was getting uncomfortable.

The act of being inside a guy would require me to write a pop psychology encyclopedia on the emotional stuff that would go on in my head. Suffice it to say, that I never felt so lovable, trusted, respected, and supported as when a man freely wanted MY cock inside him.

Note, I would add that many MANY experiences with getting blown, it can be VERY pleasant and can look hot in a gay video, it is nothing more than foreplay. Lots of it has to do with plenty of men, will go down on you, but it is nothing more than a mouth on the head and the end of the shaft, and few deep throat even on average sized guys like myself. They also tend to end up using their hands to do some kind of jack off. Where as with anal, you can go balls deep, and even stay at that depth for a while and not worry about the other guy gagging, biting, etc. Imagine anal (or vaginal sex) where the guy is only allowed to put his head inside -- nothing further. I think if that were the case much fewer men would look forward to fucking.

My overall point is that it is hard to categorize male sexuality into a few set groups because it would so inaccurate. My experiences have taught me that you have to spend a lot of time with an individual man to really learn all his sexual "buttons". Then you can play with him like playing with a fine violin and really make some "wonderful" music.
 
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when I was young

teens and twenties, I had thoughts but I kept them way back in my mind. This was the 70's and 80's. I only acted on them once and I was in my twenties. Now I am older and I don't care as much as what people think of me. No one cares what I am doing.
 
because we want to have sex...and finding a man to have casual sex with is easier than waiting and putting time in for pussy....fuck suck go home

why do older men become bi....'SEX'
 
My real-time experience with guys is minimal but my desires go back to childhood. Playing with guys online for the past 20 or so years taught me that there is a great distance between guys who want to jerk or suck with other guys and guys who wish they could be bred and get pregnant. I fall into the former category. Initially, I loved wrestling with guys for the chance to grind crotch. I never thought about sucking just feeling another cock in my hand or rubbing against mine. My theory is that guys like me started liking cock from playing with our own. Eventually, I wanted to suck my own cock but was unable. The only solution to fulfilling that desire is to suck another.

LOVE that and agree. I got a taste of dick very early on and had to "park" the desire to suck cock for a couple decades when I got married and had kids. Never lost the desire, just couldn't act on it, until later in life when I said "fuck it", or more accurately, "suck it", which I did and haven't look back....
 
For me a wife who has virtually no sex drive has been a big factor. I have always enjoyed wearing lingerie. My wife knows about this and is supportive. We even go lingerie shopping together sometimes. I get the odd handjob but we haven’t made love for 2 years now. I started looking at pictures of men in lingerie about 6 years ago on tumblr and then started watching videos of men in panties masturbating on xhamster. I now find I get more aroused watching satin and lace clad cocks than a pussy but still haven’t made the plunge. I do fantasise about sucking a cock but it would have to be with lingerie. Definitely not wanting any kissing or cuddling, just mutual masturbation or oral

Sounds like we were married to the same woman :) but I sucked a cock before I started dating her and sucked cock after we were married and her desire for sex tanked. She doesn't know and wouldn't approve and that's ok with me.....
 
I've been bi since late adolescence. I wrestled with "being a lesbian" (read: deviant, abnormal, shameful,sinful in the language of the 60s) but got over it pretty quickly by balancing the delights of my girl lover against the stereotype. I was lucky enough to have encouragement of my older sister and some progressive sex books too.

Now I'm in my 60s, still actively bi, and watching as a couple of male lovers have experimented with casting off some of the cultural overlays that define sexuality.

Nature or nurture? Probably both, IMHO.

I think sexuality is a sliding scale, not a binary, hard-wired sort of thing.

And I think culture has an enormous role in whether or not people acknowledge sexual inclinations outside of culturally assigned traditions.

I've shared that thought with the guys in my age demographic I've seen for the past decade or so. (There haven't been very many, btw.) I let them know early that bi. None of them have gone running off!

When we're comfortable with each other to watch some porn, I'll ask in a theoretical sort of way if they'd ever consider sharing a cock with me. I never make it an obligation--I just let them know that if it ever came up I'd be OK with it.

What I hear back is that they never would have even considered it in the past, but that they might.

So coming back to the original question "why older guys turn bi" I think maybe age brings wisdom, and that guys are finding their way on the hetero-homo scale with less influence from cultural tradition.

Anyway, my current SO has found his way from "No way Jose" rugged Viet Nam vet to letting a guy blow him, and finally to tag-teaming a guy with me! Love it!
 
I've been bi since late adolescence. I wrestled with "being a lesbian" (read: deviant, abnormal, shameful,sinful in the language of the 60s) but got over it pretty quickly by balancing the delights of my girl lover against the stereotype. I was lucky enough to have encouragement of my older sister and some progressive sex books too.

Now I'm in my 60s, still actively bi, and watching as a couple of male lovers have experimented with casting off some of the cultural overlays that define sexuality.

Nature or nurture? Probably both, IMHO.

I think sexuality is a sliding scale, not a binary, hard-wired sort of thing.

And I think culture has an enormous role in whether or not people acknowledge sexual inclinations outside of culturally assigned traditions.

I've shared that thought with the guys in my age demographic I've seen for the past decade or so. (There haven't been very many, btw.) I let them know early that bi. None of them have gone running off!

When we're comfortable with each other to watch some porn, I'll ask in a theoretical sort of way if they'd ever consider sharing a cock with me. I never make it an obligation--I just let them know that if it ever came up I'd be OK with it.

What I hear back is that they never would have even considered it in the past, but that they might.

So coming back to the original question "why older guys turn bi" I think maybe age brings wisdom, and that guys are finding their way on the hetero-homo scale with less influence from cultural tradition.

Anyway, my current SO has found his way from "No way Jose" rugged Viet Nam vet to letting a guy blow him, and finally to tag-teaming a guy with me! Love it!

Val, you are a great woman and lover. Your SO is lucky!
 
An inside job

I've been bi since late adolescence. I wrestled with "being a lesbian" (read: deviant, abnormal, shameful,sinful in the language of the 60s) but got over it pretty quickly by balancing the delights of my girl lover against the stereotype. I was lucky enough to have encouragement of my older sister and some progressive sex books too.

Now I'm in my 60s, still actively bi, and watching as a couple of male lovers have experimented with casting off some of the cultural overlays that define sexuality.

Nature or nurture? Probably both, IMHO.

I think sexuality is a sliding scale, not a binary, hard-wired sort of thing.

And I think culture has an enormous role in whether or not people acknowledge sexual inclinations outside of culturally assigned traditions.

I've shared that thought with the guys in my age demographic I've seen for the past decade or so. (There haven't been very many, btw.) I let them know early that bi. None of them have gone running off!

When we're comfortable with each other to watch some porn, I'll ask in a theoretical sort of way if they'd ever consider sharing a cock with me. I never make it an obligation--I just let them know that if it ever came up I'd be OK with it.

What I hear back is that they never would have even considered it in the past, but that they might.

So coming back to the original question "why older guys turn bi" I think maybe age brings wisdom, and that guys are finding their way on the hetero-homo scale with less influence from cultural tradition.

Anyway, my current SO has found his way from "No way Jose" rugged Viet Nam vet to letting a guy blow him, and finally to tag-teaming a guy with me! Love it!

Well thank you for making some very good and interesting points in such a beautifully articulate way.

The subject has long been of personal interest to me, coming from my own life experience(s), and I have also posted here on this thread and elsewhere a few times over the years.

The most recent may have been this one, from a couple of years ago, but don't hold me to that, as there have been a few: http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1265608&goto=newpost

If that link doesn't work, but you are interested, try looking back to about Feb. of 2020. I know there were some before that, as well, and could be some others after. In any case, that one had a couple of my own ideas/theories on the subject, which pretty much correlate with some of your own.

It is truly gratifying to see that so many older guys are finding their way out of the forest of others' "morals" to see their way now to explore new and different ways in which to enrich their lives and throw off the suffocating blankets of guilt, doubt and peer pressure.

Thanks again for a cogent contribution, and may you be blessed by the god of your choice.
 
Other changes

I did become bisexual, but there were other changes. I started wearing panties. I became submissive. I was more submissive to my wife than to men. I enjoyed oral sex more than ann other type of sex. That was true with both men and women.
 
I’m in my mid 40s and am bi. I’ve been curious since I was a teenager….I sucked off my best friend in college).

My bi curiosity has gotten stronger with age.

My wife has a decent sex drove, but there is something exceedingly attractive about a guy friend with a hard cock :)

I’m not into single time hook ups.

Thankfully there is gentleman within an hours drove who has similar feelings :)
 
Evolution of desires

I am a 64 y/o mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thinh. Is this a common phenomenon?
:):):)
I'm inclined to think it is all a natural progression of our sexual experiences, coupled with our fantasies that also evolve as we are exposed to the experiences of others THROUGH our sexual experiences.
For example, I'll briefly summarize my sexual evolution and I think it will bear out my thesis... either that or I am just an "explorer".

Teens: thought I'd wear out my dick, beating it to death, dreaming of any female that I thought remotely attractive. Never even considered other guy's as a sexual partner.

20s: explored sex with women in my age group, a couple of my friends' moms, a few very mature ladies up to 65. Learned that I loved oral sex from either perspective and that if you ate enough pussy, you'd eventually end up tasting your own semen... not such a bad thing when the only other person that knows is your wife.

30s: Find out that said wife decides you should taste someone else's semen but only as an accidental byproduct of her decision to sample other cock, without prior arrangements or agreement with said unknowing cuck. Learned two important lessons: Being cucked and sucking anonymous cum from her was fun after the fact but the realization that she didn't trust me enough to ask my approval was more than I would tolerate.
Next wife was a free spirit that wouldn't agree to be married until we had shared each other with others for a couple of years. Our open marriage with frequent swinging resulted in a variety of opportunities to experience incidental contact with other men because she loved having two men in bed at the same time. This made it "normal" to find myself underneath her in a 69 with a large load of mixed cum as my reward for a job well done while she fingered my ass. When she decided that being "tied" down was not really in her future, she and I parted friendly.

40s: While single, I played the field again. Looking for another free spirit and eventually falling for a very traditional lady that treats me great but who is very vanilla. We enjoy great sex and fortunately, she can handle feeding me my cream pies or snowballing after a blow job. She is not into ass play so that has been sadly absent.

50s: Happily married still with a good but vanilla sex life and a WILD fantasy life. Bought some ever increasing sized anal toys, some that vibrate, some that I can wear for hours without detection while being stretched pleasantly.

60s: wish that I could find a few friends to explore my latest evolved bucket list fantasy. That is to be the cleanup man, fluffer, and alternate slut at a one or two lady gang bang..

See what I mean about evolution of what's OK or what becomes normal?
 
:):):)
I'm inclined to think it is all a natural progression of our sexual experiences, coupled with our fantasies that also evolve as we are exposed to the experiences of others THROUGH our sexual experiences.
For example, I'll briefly summarize my sexual evolution and I think it will bear out my thesis... either that or I am just an "explorer".

Teens: thought I'd wear out my dick, beating it to death, dreaming of any female that I thought remotely attractive. Never even considered other guy's as a sexual partner.

20s: explored sex with women in my age group, a couple of my friends' moms, a few very mature ladies up to 65. Learned that I loved oral sex from either perspective and that if you ate enough pussy, you'd eventually end up tasting your own semen... not such a bad thing when the only other person that knows is your wife.

30s: Find out that said wife decides you should taste someone else's semen but only as an accidental byproduct of her decision to sample other cock, without prior arrangements or agreement with said unknowing cuck. Learned two important lessons: Being cucked and sucking anonymous cum from her was fun after the fact but the realization that she didn't trust me enough to ask my approval was more than I would tolerate.
Next wife was a free spirit that wouldn't agree to be married until we had shared each other with others for a couple of years. Our open marriage with frequent swinging resulted in a variety of opportunities to experience incidental contact with other men because she loved having two men in bed at the same time. This made it "normal" to find myself underneath her in a 69 with a large load of mixed cum as my reward for a job well done while she fingered my ass. When she decided that being "tied" down was not really in her future, she and I parted friendly.

40s: While single, I played the field again. Looking for another free spirit and eventually falling for a very traditional lady that treats me great but who is very vanilla. We enjoy great sex and fortunately, she can handle feeding me my cream pies or snowballing after a blow job. She is not into ass play so that has been sadly absent.

50s: Happily married still with a good but vanilla sex life and a WILD fantasy life. Bought some ever increasing sized anal toys, some that vibrate, some that I can wear for hours without detection while being stretched pleasantly.

60s: wish that I could find a few friends to explore my latest evolved bucket list fantasy. That is to be the cleanup man, fluffer, and alternate slut at a one or two lady gang bang..

See what I mean about evolution of what's OK or what becomes normal?

I can fully appreciate your evolution. As a 72 year old male, I have undergone my own evolution. Although it may not be a carbon copy of yours, I think we have reached a similar stage.
 
I can fully appreciate your evolution. As a 72 year old male, I have undergone my own evolution. Although it may not be a carbon copy of yours, I think we have reached a similar stage.

Overall, lots of fun and few regrets. Any regrets are not for what I have done, but what I haven't....yet.
 
Some of us, or at least with me anyway became more, and more perverted over time, nothing to do with being old. I have always had fantasies about guys I know fucking my wife, and a friend of mine at work was one of them. I was in my early 40's then, and we both had to piss. So in the men's bathroom at work when my friend was looking away, I took a curious peek over at his cock at the urinal. I'm cut so I don't know if they all do it, but he was holding back the foreskin of a nice fat cock head. That's what did it for me, I started picturing his cock, and having fantasies about sucking him off. Then it was other guys that I know, guys at work, a boss, a neighbors 30 yo son. Now in my 60's I think about sucking off every guy I think about fucking my wife. And there is A LOT! of guys I've thought about over time.
 
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:):):)
I'm inclined to think it is all a natural progression of our sexual experiences, coupled with our fantasies that also evolve as we are exposed to the experiences of others THROUGH our sexual experiences.
For example, I'll briefly summarize my sexual evolution and I think it will bear out my thesis... either that or I am just an "explorer".

Teens: thought I'd wear out my dick, beating it to death, dreaming of any female that I thought remotely attractive. Never even considered other guy's as a sexual partner.

20s: explored sex with women in my age group, a couple of my friends' moms, a few very mature ladies up to 65. Learned that I loved oral sex from either perspective and that if you ate enough pussy, you'd eventually end up tasting your own semen... not such a bad thing when the only other person that knows is your wife.

30s: Find out that said wife decides you should taste someone else's semen but only as an accidental byproduct of her decision to sample other cock, without prior arrangements or agreement with said unknowing cuck. Learned two important lessons: Being cucked and sucking anonymous cum from her was fun after the fact but the realization that she didn't trust me enough to ask my approval was more than I would tolerate.
Next wife was a free spirit that wouldn't agree to be married until we had shared each other with others for a couple of years. Our open marriage with frequent swinging resulted in a variety of opportunities to experience incidental contact with other men because she loved having two men in bed at the same time. This made it "normal" to find myself underneath her in a 69 with a large load of mixed cum as my reward for a job well done while she fingered my ass. When she decided that being "tied" down was not really in her future, she and I parted friendly.

40s: While single, I played the field again. Looking for another free spirit and eventually falling for a very traditional lady that treats me great but who is very vanilla. We enjoy great sex and fortunately, she can handle feeding me my cream pies or snowballing after a blow job. She is not into ass play so that has been sadly absent.

50s: Happily married still with a good but vanilla sex life and a WILD fantasy life. Bought some ever increasing sized anal toys, some that vibrate, some that I can wear for hours without detection while being stretched pleasantly.

60s: wish that I could find a few friends to explore my latest evolved bucket list fantasy. That is to be the cleanup man, fluffer, and alternate slut at a one or two lady gang bang..

See what I mean about evolution of what's OK or what becomes normal?

Good points! That's part of the process I sense too--"normal" I mean. Did a part of "Normal" for you come from realizing it was OK with partners to experiment? I've seen that as a big part of my male friends' openness. When I make it clear they won't lose my affection or respect, it's like taking off the chains!
 
Good points! That's part of the process I sense too--"normal" I mean. Did a part of "Normal" for you come from realizing it was OK with partners to experiment? I've seen that as a big part of my male friends' openness. When I make it clear they won't lose my affection or respect, it's like taking off the chains!

Yes, during our wild times both of us knew that whatever either of us wanted to do was OK and that our partner would help make it a reality or give them room to play, whichever was appropriate. We both did some wild things, together and apart, but there was never any secrets that I know of. Both of us were able to explore any side of our sexuality and I think that we were both happier for it.
 
I had some experiences of mutual masturbation as a young teenager and I've always had an interest in checking out other guys at public urinals or in the locker room. However until I was 30 I was all about pussy and don't recall ever thinking about sex with guys.
That changed when I met a guy and to cut a long story short we wanted each other off. I have been hooked on bisexuality ever since. I still prefer pussy but I have to say my favourite sexual encounter is that of MFM where the other guy is bi.
 
I always had bi thoughts

maybe as we age we just don't give a fuck anymore. If a man or a woman asked me if I was bi - curious, I'd prob say yes. I guess there would be some scenarios where I would say no, If was not interested in them.
 
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