The Awkward Flirt Thread

[85Ironman]

When I was 12, I walked up to this pretty older girl (like 18 or so) in a store and leaned across the counter, gave herf my best smokey eyed stare and said in what I thought was my best James Bond voice; "You're eyes are so intriguing, such a unique color."

Her: "They're contacts." *snaps gum and looks at the next customer*

Dude, you were 12 and she was 18. That's a pair of big brass ones you've got.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Dude, you were 12 and she was 18. That's a pair of big brass ones you've got.

Was never courage I lacked lol

 

[JennyNo1]

When I was 12, I walked up to this pretty older girl (like 18 or so) in a store and leaned across the counter, gave her my best smokey eyed stare and said in what I thought was my best James Bond voice; "You're eyes are so intriguing, such a unique color."

Her: "They're contacts." *snaps gum and looks at the next customer*

Ha, that's not awkward, that's amazeballs!

 

[JennyNo1]

I once dated a guy who, on about our third or fourth date, made the comment "You're just stunning...when you try."

He was a really sexy guy...when he kept his mouth shut.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I know this bunch has to have a ton more awkward stories....spill!

Oh, just so many. Mentioned the shook soda, knocking over his drink with my boobs, knocking over a lamp with my boobs, not realizing my shirt was completely undone, not realizing it was inside out. I only wear patterned or heather shirts given the amount I manage to spill things on myself. There have been accidental crotch grabs, one accidental high heeled boot to the crotch. Countless trips, slips. Accidental mooning, purposeful indecent exposure. I say a lot of awkward shit, but it doesn't hold a candle to my level of clumsy sometimes.

I ended up just limiting my pick up game to sitting, giving looks, hair twirling, crossing and uncrossing legs, undoing some buttons, and encouraging the skirt to ride up. It was just safer for everyone if they come to me.

 

[DavidVGKFan]

last time I flirted..

I think it was in tenth grade. My friends kept telling me I needed to talk to this girl because they said she liked me. I finally worked up the courage to approach her.

I said hi and called her by the wrong name. Then I got flustered and tried to introduce myself but forgot my own name. It was the most epic fail. My friends howled in laughter and I ran out of there.

I never spoke to her again. Wonder if she still likes me?

 

[Taegul]

Would you like to be my friend with benefits? Because I could use some medical and definitely a whole lot of dental.

 

[Cyberbella]

I think it was in tenth grade. My friends kept telling me I needed to talk to this girl because they said she liked me. I finally worked up the courage to approach her.

I said hi and called her by the wrong name. Then I got flustered and tried to introduce myself but forgot my own name. It was the most epic fail. My friends howled in laughter and I ran out of there.

I never spoke to her again. Wonder if she still likes me?

So like can I bang yer chalk board erasers and stuff? *wiggles brows*

 

[Lord Pmann]

“Do you also have herpes?”

 

[alwaysaway]

“Do you also have herpes?”

“Not even pubic lice!”

 

[Lord Pmann]

“Not even public lice!”

Public lice sounds even worse than pubic lice. I mean, they’re like shared lice. Like from a local library.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Public lice sounds even worse than pubic lice. I mean, they’re like shared lice. Like from a local library.

I want you to be my cellmate. I'll carve you a shank, if you'll be mine.

 

[alwaysaway]

Public lice sounds even worse than pubic lice. I mean, they’re like shared lice. Like from a local library.

Well if someone’s gonna know, it’s you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I want you to be my cellmate. I'll carve you a shank, if you'll be mine.

I’d rather you carve me a skank. It’s prison and I’m lonely.

Well if someone’s gonna know, it’s you.

I’m just thankful I got them from you.

 

[Richard_C]

Wait, there's flirting?

 

[Cyberbella]

Wait, there's flirting?

Mmm hmmm. I bet I could pop your cork. *winks*

 

[Richard_C]

Mmm hmmm. I bet I could pop your cork. *winks*

I do like to gamble!

 

[Cyberbella]

I do like to gamble!

Wait... should I be feeling lucky or you?

 

[Richard_C]

Wait... should I be feeling lucky or you?

Ideally both!

 

[Cyberbella]

Ideally both!

See I am awkward! lol

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

See I am awkward! lol

So, I am bumping this for the lit competition.

Well, Cyberbella, I see you completely closed your social account, but now, two years later, I see the new one. I shall send you a vague, uncomfortably overly complementary note, with no stated purpose, leaving you to wonder if I am flirting, or if I am about to make a sales pitch for Herbal Life or some other MLM.

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

So, I am bumping this for the lit competition.

Well, Cyberbella, I see you completely closed your social account, but now, two years later, I see the new one. I shall send you a vague, uncomfortably overly complementary note, with no stated purpose, leaving you to wonder if I am flirting, or if I am about to make a sales pitch for Herbal Life or some other MLM.

Soo umm... a couple of us are going out cow-tipping and I thought I'd ask if you'd like to come along

 

[Azuldrgon]

The most awkward flirt I remember was asking a girl I got close to if I could kiss her.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Soo umm... a couple of us are going out cow-tipping and I thought I'd ask if you'd like to come along

Oh Oh yes. let me just change into a mini skirt and stiletto heels as then I will look sexy running in a field from a farmer.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

The most awkward flirt I remember was asking a girl I got close to if I could kiss her.

oh hold that thought, let me check with my girlfriends and see what they think