Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Posts
- 50,279
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10.22.19 (suggested)
Is there a song that reminds you of an ex? How does that change the song? How do you feel when you hear it?
Enough said there.
For me, it was a lot of gothic music from the 80s and early 90s that I couldn't listen to without thinking about my first real love. I guess it was actually more like a whole sub-genre of music that I couldn't listen to. We're friends now, so it's all good, but I still don't really listen to that music.
I don’t have any Lit ex...
Allow me to introduce myself, I’m the future ex-Mr. AF...
This can be our song (well, your song for me): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ONcCGOabyyg
10.22.19 (suggested)
Is there a song that reminds you of an ex? How does that change the song? How do you feel when you hear it?
Lol....are you the kind that gets pissed when you dont get a new pair of nikes so you throw all your lovers shoes in the tub and burn them? And then the house catches on fire...burning it all down?
10.22.19 (suggested)
Is there a song that reminds you of an ex? How does that change the song? How do you feel when you hear it?
This version of "Dream a Little Dream of Me" always reminds me of an ex whenever I hear it. We dated many many years ago, and this was our song. It was my first real relationship as an adult - she was older, and, while things eventually ran their course, I look back on it as a very positive experience overall. She was good to me, even when she broke up with me. I learned a lot both from the relationship and the ending of it. We managed to remain friends for a while, but eventually lost contact. Whenever I hear this song I think of her for a moment, and wherever she is I hope she's doing well.
10.22.19 (suggested)
Is there a song that reminds you of an ex? How does that change the song? How do you feel when you hear it?
Attraction:
I'd have to say "no". Relationship status doesn't really play any role in whether or not I am attracted to someone. It certainly plays a role in how I interact with them, but that is because the devil is a gentlemen who never goes where he isn't invited.
More Flirting: Yes, I have observed that more than a few times over the years.
It seems to be a certain personality and I think it stems largely from one of two things. First, there are people who just enjoy flirting and for them, flirting with someone already in a relationship is "safer" - it that they assume they can then "just flirt". Flirting is an art form and some folks have risen it to a high level. The second bucket is the competitive/challenge bucket. Yes, there are people who see it as a challenge and it stokes their competitive nature - "I can make them desire me" or "I can make them have an affair with me". That's all about the ego. So, it's divided between the two - conquest and safety. There is a third group out there who are just naturally flirtatious and it's just who they are.
The Primal Thing: I agree that, when you see someone being excellent to another human being, whether it's their spouse, their kids, their friends, or just strangers, I personal find that attractive. It's a hard world. Compassion is a beautiful thing, no matter how it is expressed.
*A note on wedding rings: I have a ring that looks like a wedding ring, it's a simple gold band. (It's actually a total geek out ring - it's the ring of power from Lord of the Rings with the elvish inscription.) I will deliberately put it on my ring finger sometimes, generally in two circumstances - both of which are coldly calculating. I will wear it to work meetings with clients and I'll wear it when I am flying. Here is the reason - a wedding ring is a very subtle symbol of a lot of things that impact how people think of you - and they will noticeably treat you differently because it has allowed them to safely categorize you. (There is a lot of psychology that underlies subtle symbols.) To the "conquest/ego motivated" it's catnip. There is a whole lot of psychology under that as well.
On kind of a random and related tip - when you're flying dress UP not down. You will be treated significantly differently by the TSA, gate personnel, and flight attendants. Again, it is that subtle signaling that allows people to categorize you so you're not an unknown, but rather a known quantity that allows them to treat you as they believe that category should be treated. They're signals of a certain social class and status and though we'd like to think people don't notice, they do.