❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AlwaysFara]

Excuse me?

Rhetorical.

 

[John_Q_Public]

Rhetorical.

Thank you.

 

[seela]

There's where the 'flit' comes in handy. There's so much going on, no one notices that you've suddenly taken off. But, there's much more there... word games to keep your mind busy and I found the first edition of Daddy's Little Girl there. It felt comfortable.

I probably should have specified that it's the flirt part that I suck at. I just lack the light, flirty and witty banter gene.

The flit part I have down. I've disappeared for months at a time and usually no one's noticed here either. Except that one time when I disappeared for like 5 days when I was traveling and people went to panic mode, which was a bit odd.

 

[John_Q_Public]

I don't think my hard limits have changed. Maybe some of the more bizarre stuff has been added to the list (but I doubt being asked to snort someone's cum would actually come up in real life... right?).

My soft limits have certainly grown. And I'm echoing most people here when they say it's partner specific. Some people just make you want to do things for them...

I've definitely had to get better at explaining my reasons for some of my hard limits. Keep your feet to yourself and I'll keep my feet to myself. Thanks!

I think the original question was regarding limits. Being dead serious now, this has been rolling around in my head since I read it. Now I'm interested to find out what in particular is appealing about being made to snort cum.

Also, I feel like you were being vulnerable in sharing and were sort of scorned for it. I have some things in my "well, I didn't expect that to turn me on" list that I would be hesitant to share. I'm not sure if it was for shock value (which was awesome) or if it is a legitimate thing for you, but I'm impressed with your courage to just throw it out there.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I probably should have specified that it's the flirt part that I suck at. I just lack the light, flirty and witty banter gene.

The flit part I have down. I've disappeared for months at a time and usually no one's noticed here either. Except that one time when I disappeared for like 5 days when I was traveling and people went to panic mode, which was a bit odd.

We are more hyper vigilant when people tell us "traveling". Then, we are on pins n needles.

 

[cascadiabound]

It is partly because it's small. Partly because most of you are knowledgeable. And there are just WAY less threads to participate in.

It is true the the BDSM board is a much smaller group - it moves more slowly (esp compared to the PG) and it is impossible to hide if you are posting. I think that sometimes gives the appearance to newcomers that everyone knows everyone already and there is no room for one more at the table. Sometimes it also can feel a bit like a person has to prove themselves (I recall feeling like this) worthy of being here - serious enough or smart enough or experienced enough or something.
And to the idea that "most of us are knowledgeable" - well some of us are. Some of aren't. We are a mix. We know what we know. But a new person could show up in 5 minutes and know a million things I don't know and no one else knows here either. To me this has been one of the beauties of this thread - the town hall sharing of experiences and thoughts - all of us are smarter than any one of us.

When I first came to Lit, it was to talk, meet people, etc. It just didn't feel welcoming here at that time. It could be me. I hate starting a conversation, I'm shy. I do much better at "flirt and flit".

I am not very good at flirt and flit. I am better at watching and writing considered paragraphs. I can flirt and flit, but it feels more difficult to me. The ability to be at ease in this on line environment is something I admire about you and others bfg.

^^^THIS^^^

This is good stuff. We had a similar discussion around these parts three or four years ago. Maybe it’s a good thing to bring up seriously again.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

hear hear!!

Agreed. Incredibly insightful and could probably be shared in the PG too.
I always felt like what differentiated a group of friends from a clique was an exclusive attitude. The whole "can't sit here" mind set.
Everyone (mostly everyone) is trying their best and it costs nothing to be welcoming.

Thanks Paul!

Agreed. The make of the board is always changing. New folks showing up and folks we have had around for a long time drifting away. All of us need to make an effort to acknowledge worthwhile contributions and help people feel valued and not ignored. It can be a big hurdle to post something of yourself in such a small group here.

I prefer vintage

"vintage" *nods - I resemble that.

I like how this has become a town hall of sorts

It has. Thank you for being the mayor of our town hall PLP.

 

[midwestyankee]

It is true the the BDSM board is a much smaller group - it moves more slowly (esp compared to the PG) and it is impossible to hide if you are posting. I think that sometimes gives the appearance to newcomers that everyone knows everyone already and there is no room for one more at the table. Sometimes it also can feel a bit like a person has to prove themselves (I recall feeling like this) worthy of being here - serious enough or smart enough or experienced enough or something.
And to the idea that "most of us are knowledgeable" - well some of us are. Some of aren't. We are a mix. We know what we know. But a new person could show up in 5 minutes and know a million things I don't know and no one else knows here either. To me this has been one of the beauties of this thread - the town hall sharing of experiences and thoughts - all of us are smarter than any one of us.

[snip]


It has. Thank you for being the mayor of our town hall PLP.

Occasionally a new member has shown up who has claimed to know a whole lot more than anyone else here without offering any substantial proof and those folks were, I think reasonably, asked to put up or shut up. Most shut up or slinked away. However, when someone knowledgeable has shown up and contributed good stuff to the discussion of the day without fanfare, their strengths and wisdom have been acknowledged pretty congenially as far as I can recall.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Occasionally a new member has shown up who has claimed to know a whole lot more than anyone else here without offering any substantial proof and those folks were, I think reasonably, asked to put up or shut up. Most shut up or slinked away. However, when someone knowledgeable has shown up and contributed good stuff to the discussion of the day without fanfare, their strengths and wisdom have been acknowledged pretty congenially as far as I can recall.

Is this the equivalent of the GB and their "show me your tits"?

I think a part of me simply hesitated to do much interaction because I wasn't sure what I really wanted from Lit. Nothing that was done here, but things I needed to deal with. I'm not the same person I was in 2015. Even knowing my desires at an early age, I was discovering they had NAMES and I wasn't the only one!!! I wasn't crazy. Well... anyway. The biggest thing, though, is now I can talk about who I am, and there's no worry about those who think I'm weird.

 

[cascadiabound]

Occasionally a new member has shown up who has claimed to know a whole lot more than anyone else here without offering any substantial proof and those folks were, I think reasonably, asked to put up or shut up. Most shut up or slinked away. However, when someone knowledgeable has shown up and contributed good stuff to the discussion of the day without fanfare, their strengths and wisdom have been acknowledged pretty congenially as far as I can recall.

I agree. There are always gonna be posers showing up in on-line forums. Put up or shut up is not unreasonable. And because there is a safety concern as well (Domly Doms preening and seeking new conquests) this bar is higher here than on other parts of Lit)

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#26

#26
Orgasms!


Orgasm Denial. Forced Orgasms. Ruined Orgasms. Orgasm Owning. There has been lots of talk of orgasms lately (well more than usual). Is there a particular way you like yours during bdsm play? Have you experimented with a certain type of orgasm play that just didn't work for you?

(Confession: PLP has lots of questions about your orgasms but she is being a good girl and not being too nosey.)

 

[AveryElle]

#26
Orgasm Denial. Forced Orgasms. Ruined Orgasms. Orgasm Owning. There has been lots of talk of orgasms lately (well more than usual). Is there a particular way you like yours during bdsm play? Have you experimented with a certain type of orgasm play that just didn't work for you?

(Confession: PLP has lots of questions about your orgasms but she is being a good girl and not being too nosey.)

Alright, this is what I find amazingly fun in the right hands. I am on the sub spectrum of things (though not labeling myself except that I am decidedly not a little. At all), but I like edging my partner with my hands and mouth. There’s so much power there, with the understanding that it can end when he wants by taking control back. It is in the realm of cock worship in my view. I’m doing, but a throat fuck isn’t far off on his timeline.

For me, denial is amazing because I can cum fairly easily (that does not mean they are all always amazing). The teasing and delaying is what does it (it = strong vaginal orgasm). Add being told to keep my eyes open or whatever else, yep. It gets me. Then there’s the post orgasm teasing. Because it can easily lead to real strong aftershocks. I know I am lucky in that I can usually cum from clitoral and vaginal stimulation, but having partner(s) who knows how to make the ability worth it is the gem.

Oh I also forgot - being in a situation where you need to cum but can’t be loud or give cues as to what’s happening is a form of torture in its own way for someone who is vocal. You can’t cum in your normal way so have to be aware of what you’re doing. This happened relatively recently (a concert) and it was perfect.

 

[Eliphaz]

Orgasm Denial.

I like subjecting others to this more than I like being the victim. Maybe because at some point for me it stops having the desired effect, and I feel like I'm ruining it for everyone if I eventually don't really care.

Forced Orgasms.

I adore being in a position of having to fight it and resist as long as I can, knowing that ultimately I will lose the fight. One of my favorite things.

Ruined Orgasms.

Not a fan, though the ancillary activity leading up to them can be enjoyable, especially looking back on it from afterward. And when they're being perpetrated upon me by someone who's inexplicably really into it.

Orgasm Owning.

I like being the source and arbiter of someone else's sexual release. The feeling of being needed for something so basic, I guess. And the trust that they won't cheat. I've never experienced it from the sub perspective. I'd probably give it a try for a fixed interval if someone were really into it.

There has been lots of talk of orgasms lately (well more than usual). Is there a particular way you like yours during bdsm play?
Have you experimented with a certain type of orgasm play that just didn't work for you?

I mean, it's frustrating sometimes to want to control the time and place of someone else's orgasm but not getting the timing quite right to make it happen.
I do like (from both perspectives) orgasms that are brought upon someone not quite expecting or prepared for it.

(and i'm gonna post here occasionally even if i'm not in the "clique"

 

[cookiecat]

(and i'm gonna post here occasionally even if i'm not in the "clique"

ya better!

 

[midwestyankee]

I like subjecting others to this more than I like being the victim. Maybe because at some point for me it stops having the desired effect, and I feel like I'm ruining it for everyone if I eventually don't really care.

[snip]

(and i'm gonna post here occasionally even if i'm not in the "clique"

There’s a clique? Well, shit, you’d think in 12 years that someone would have taught me the secret handshake by now.

 

[Eliphaz]

there was apparently some talk about it further up the thread. i was beinig silly.

 

[barefootgirl69]

there was apparently some talk about it further up the thread. i was beinig silly.

I think the official PG spelling is "click".

Welcome to the thread.

 

[midwestyankee]

there was apparently some talk about it further up the thread. i was beinig silly.

So was I. In fact, I started the linked thread that was a weeks-long discussion of cliquishness here a few years ago.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Going back to the question of partner-influenced kink, my answer re: in person partners was (i think) pretty brief and not very exciting. Anal and Maglites. Not together.

Re: online partners, the list is quite lengthy. Everyone who has been important to me has made some contribution to my kink list, whether by introducing me to something new, or reinforcing my affinity for it.

Very often when i come across a thread or discussion or Tumblr pic or porn, i will immediately be reminded of the person with whom i experienced that kink. And my fantasies about whichever thing is turning me on that day will inevitably include them. Good memories, you know?

I wonder, sometimes, how my list might be different if i had grown close to different people.

 

[Eliphaz]

Very often when i come across a thread or discussion or Tumblr pic or porn, i will immediately be reminded of the person with whom i experienced that kink.

This has inspired me to start 1) inventorying my various kinks and trying to figure out with whom I first experienced them, and 2) inventorying my former partners and trying to figure which kinks they brought about. It seems like a fun cataloguing project, at any rate.

Some, maybe most, are obvious but I feel like there might be some hidden insights there.

 

[rae121452]

enquiring

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#27

#27 (suggested)

Collars. Leashes. Physical items of ownership.

How do you feel about these ideas/items? What experience do you have? Do they have meaning for you outside of play? What is their meaning during play? Have you used anything other than a collar to symbolize ownership etc?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Ugh. Ownership play.

 

[AlwaysFara]

This is a great question.
I’ll be back.

 

[AlwaysFara]

enquiring

Not on this side of the pond, Bub.

https://www.dailywritingtips.com/inquire-vs-enquire/

Maybe try contribution instead of critique, hmmm?

 

[Eliphaz]

#27 (suggested)

Collars. Leashes. Physical items of ownership.

How do you feel about these ideas/items? What experience do you have? Do they have meaning for you outside of play? What is their meaning during play? Have you used anything other than a collar to symbolize ownership etc?

I have pretty strong feelings about letting kink spill over onto uninvolved bystanders who didn't come looking for it. Collars, at least, are one area where I think it's okay to fly one's flag outside. They're not overtly sexual and anyone who gets twisted out of shape from seeing them has already thought about the subject plenty.

My experience doesn't range beyond their use during play, but good lord are they good at setting a mood and context.