Why do older men become bi-curious?

[none2_none2]

I agree. I haven't done it yet, but mentally consider myself bisexual because I am attracted and desire cock.

I am not a real big fan of labels, but I think some make a big distinction between physical cravings and emotional cravings. Some feel that as long as it is a craving for a body part (physical craving) such as a cock, but not the love of a man (emotional craving) that you can still use the str8 label.

I just cannot understand how one can make the distinction. For instance, if I was single and in the presence of my ideal man -- handsome, masculine, hairy, muscular, and a bottom, yet lets say we had so little in common. Odds are I wouldn't waste my time with him. I suppose if I was young and had raging testerone surging through my veigns. Perhaps, I would have a one time fling. However, I could not imagine being so excited by it, that I would want to make a habit of sex with that individual. No matter how attractive someone is or how compatible you are, if that is all there is, why bother? Sex is so powerful, why would I want to reduce it to where it is like finding a running partner. If all I want is orgasm, I know Mr Right Hand knows better than anyone what to do. I'm not saying that I only have sex after I have given someone a weding ring. Rather, I simply found a long time ago that there had to be some kind of connection.

Again, people can call themselves whatever label they want. I just know that for me, whatever label they use if their actions/words imply it is only about my junk that they are interested, then it just isn't enough for me to want to persue it.

 

[Y_Diner]

I am not a real big fan of labels, but I think some make a big distinction between physical cravings and emotional cravings. Some feel that as long as it is a craving for a body part (physical craving) such as a cock, but not the love of a man (emotional craving) that you can still use the str8 label.

I just cannot understand how one can make the distinction. For instance, if I was single and in the presence of my ideal man -- handsome, masculine, hairy, muscular, and a bottom, yet lets say we had so little in common. Odds are I wouldn't waste my time with him. I suppose if I was young and had raging testerone surging through my veigns. Perhaps, I would have a one time fling. However, I could not imagine being so excited by it, that I would want to make a habit of sex with that individual. No matter how attractive someone is or how compatible you are, if that is all there is, why bother? Sex is so powerful, why would I want to reduce it to where it is like finding a running partner. If all I want is orgasm, I know Mr Right Hand knows better than anyone what to do. I'm not saying that I only have sex after I have given someone a weding ring. Rather, I simply found a long time ago that there had to be some kind of connection.

Again, people can call themselves whatever label they want. I just know that for me, whatever label they use if their actions/words imply it is only about my junk that they are interested, then it just isn't enough for me to want to persue it.

hmmmm. Can one have emotional craving for the love of a man, and still be bi-sexual?

 

[monanympho]

answer: Experience makes you wiser and you decide why lose out?

 

[tedsbeds]

Personally, I think the 'straight or curious seeking cock' label involves a good amount of self deception. My definition is clearer: if you're male, and sexually attracted by a cock, you are NOT straight!

That's how I see it. Always loved woman. Never had any thought, interest or attraction to any cock other than my own!

 

[lvs2lck]

I agree. I haven't done it yet, but mentally consider myself bisexual because I am attracted and desire cock.

Im still without experience, but consider myself way past the curious stage!!!

 

[lvs2lck]

answer: Experience makes you wiser and you decide why lose out?

That's a realistic way of looking at it!!!!

 

[BiTodd]

answer: Experience makes you wiser and you decide why lose out?

I knew when i was young i was sexually attracted to men but the allure of women was always stronger.

 

[scott6251]

I just didn't want to always wonder what it would be like. It was scary to try - it's a big step for those of us brought up to believe it's 'wrong' - and I felt shame and guilt at first, but had to admit I liked it. It opened up a whole new range of emotions for me

 

[blowit]

I have to try if only the opportunity would present itself.

 

[none2_none2]

hmmmm. Can one have emotional craving for the love of a man, and still be bi-sexual?

That is one of the problems with labels. Sexuality runs the gamut. Trying to put labeles on such a wide spectrum is not very affective. If you want to identify same sex attraction as only an individual who exclusively desires physical & emotional intimacy with the same sex AND likewise identify opposite sex attraction with an individual who exclusively desires physical & emotional intimacy with the opposite sex, then in our 3 label system (homo, hetro, bi), bisexual becomes the catch all for everything but the extremes. Maybe bi- should by far catch everything except the extremes, but then it is harder to know what bi means as a result.


There is no good solution. I guess if one has to have labels, just find one that seems the closest to reality. Without labels you force others to get to know you -- not just buy into label stereotypes. Unfortunately, not all people want to take the time to get to know you. When I use labels for myself, I simply say gay as it makes things easier for those that don't have time to get to know me. However, on forus such as Literotica I simply take the time to explain that there is no one way gay men think and feel. Sometimes the ones that have the hardest time accepting the diversity of sexuality is other gay people themselves. Some gay men insist that if you even find one female on this earth attractive in the least that you are not really gay. Some feel that if you are not attracted to all males that you have biases. Some cannot comprehend that what attracts you may be very different from another gay guy. I really don't crave penises. I'm not revolted by them, but then I'm not a bulge watcher. I appreciate big penises because I wish mine was bigger -- not because I wish I could play with it. I appreciate big balls not because I have a fettish, but because I'm infertile, and appreciate that perhaps those with larger balls are fertile. I play with my partners junk because I love HIM -- not becausea I druel when I see penises. Likewise, I love male behinds on the type that turns me on -- masculine, muscular, hairy guys. It isn't because I'm a selfish person that just wants to "get off", but because I am mesmorized watching such a guy enjoying himself when something is up his ass. I'm more turned on by my type of guy getting fucked (be it by another man or even a woman with a strap-on) than I would ever be watching the same man fucking someone else (regardless if the other person is a man or woman). Now, your interests can change a bit over time. For instance, I used to crave photos of bottoms getting fucked with their cocks erect. If they were not erect, I felt that they were not really enjoying it and perhaps were only tolerating it (faking enjoyment). However, being with my partner for 13+ years (and he is someone who prefers you leave his cock alone when you are playing with his ass), I have learned that some men when they bottom must get so much pleasure that they don't want anything messing with their cock. So over the last few years, photos of bottoms with enjoyment showing in their face and them leaving their cock alone has become more erotic to me than a bottom with an erection. (I still hope he is leaking, but most mean don't leak much.)

So in summary, labels do best for grocery items -- not people. It is better to get to know the person without any pre-conceived notions as to how they think, feel, love, etc. I only have issues when people use labels on themselves which seem way off. I just hope that I always give another the time to get to know where they are really comming from. Some times the most important thing to give another human being is an open mind to get to know them for who they are -- not what you assume they are based on labels or whatever superficial things you observe about them.

 

[scott6251]

great point about labels. I think a lot of guys who find themselves attracted to another guy are just scared to go with their feelings/emotions.
I've always been more attracted to females, but never had a problem 'checking out' a nice looking guy. When I realized it could cause a little reaction 'down there', I was a little confused and tried to ignore it or even fight it.
As I got older, though, I started to be more comfortable with those feelings, and eventually got to the point where I accepted and was comfortable with this level of attraction and felt ok with being turned on.

 

[dobbins1]

Yep

All good points!

I'm kinda in the same boat, but I suffer from "arrested development"...to coin a phrase. I fantasize back to my youth and the discovery of my own sexuality and then the wonder of "experimenting" with a same sex cousin into our LATE + teens.

Sadly, I'm still attracted to the "fantasy" of a younger inexperienced smooth young man who wants to experiment again.

But alas, the reality of being a 50+ years old who no longer has the "high school figure" I once had and the fact that going back will never happen...I must resolve my desires to to my fantasies since most desire-able young men don't find us as attractive anymore.

 

[Lemoneesta]

I tried to deny it in my early '20's. I gave up trying...

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I'm a guy who is basically interested in hard cock. The rest of the guy is of no interest to me. Guys are ugly and smell. However, a little fem boi or tranny could arouse me to do the entire repertoire.

Also, for me, the domination/submission factor comes into play for some reason with guys. I didn't have the feeling to either dominate or surrender to a woman, but with a guy dom/sub is a big part of the arousal. I like to either be feeding cock and talking nasty to the sub or be the sub and have cock fed to me while being humiliated.

 

[blowit]

I'm a guy who is basically interested in hard cock. The rest of the guy is of no interest to me. Guys are ugly and smell. However, a little fem boi or tranny could arouse me to do the entire repertoire.

Also, for me, the domination/submission factor comes into play for some reason with guys. I didn't have the feeling to either dominate or surrender to a woman, but with a guy dom/sub is a big part of the arousal. I like to either be feeding cock and talking nasty to the sub or be the sub and have cock fed to me while being humiliated.

I can relate to this statement.

 

[IdahoRandy]

Arrested development

All good points!

I'm kinda in the same boat, but I suffer from "arrested development"...to coin a phrase. I fantasize back to my youth and the discovery of my own sexuality and then the wonder of "experimenting" with a same sex cousin into our LATE + teens.

Sadly, I'm still attracted to the "fantasy" of a younger inexperienced smooth young man who wants to experiment again.

But alas, the reality of being a 50+ years old who no longer has the "high school figure" I once had and the fact that going back will never happen...I must resolve my desires to to my fantasies since most desire-able young men don't find us as attractive anymore.

Of all the many different reasons why we older men want to try a man, I think this might be my case also. I am not attracted to women or men my age. Unless they look and act much younger; like me.

 

[Scotsbob]

I just started thinking dick all the time when about 49 now 57 only jacked off one

 

[Scotsbob]

True forme too although I did do a mutual jackin sesion

 

[winterxcaged]

This right here. I've dated guys in their 50s who came to the conclusion that their sexuality wasn't black or white.

One of them referred to it as hitting the "fuck it" stage.

Who cares what word the world associates with your thoughts and actions? Just be yourself.

That is one of the problems with labels. Sexuality runs the gamut. Trying to put labeles on such a wide spectrum is not very affective. If you want to identify same sex attraction as only an individual who exclusively desires physical & emotional intimacy with the same sex AND likewise identify opposite sex attraction with an individual who exclusively desires physical & emotional intimacy with the opposite sex, then in our 3 label system (homo, hetro, bi), bisexual becomes the catch all for everything but the extremes. Maybe bi- should by far catch everything except the extremes, but then it is harder to know what bi means as a result.


There is no good solution. I guess if one has to have labels, just find one that seems the closest to reality. Without labels you force others to get to know you -- not just buy into label stereotypes. Unfortunately, not all people want to take the time to get to know you. When I use labels for myself, I simply say gay as it makes things easier for those that don't have time to get to know me. However, on forus such as Literotica I simply take the time to explain that there is no one way gay men think and feel. Sometimes the ones that have the hardest time accepting the diversity of sexuality is other gay people themselves. Some gay men insist that if you even find one female on this earth attractive in the least that you are not really gay. Some feel that if you are not attracted to all males that you have biases. Some cannot comprehend that what attracts you may be very different from another gay guy. I really don't crave penises. I'm not revolted by them, but then I'm not a bulge watcher. I appreciate big penises because I wish mine was bigger -- not because I wish I could play with it. I appreciate big balls not because I have a fettish, but because I'm infertile, and appreciate that perhaps those with larger balls are fertile. I play with my partners junk because I love HIM -- not becausea I druel when I see penises. Likewise, I love male behinds on the type that turns me on -- masculine, muscular, hairy guys. It isn't because I'm a selfish person that just wants to "get off", but because I am mesmorized watching such a guy enjoying himself when something is up his ass. I'm more turned on by my type of guy getting fucked (be it by another man or even a woman with a strap-on) than I would ever be watching the same man fucking someone else (regardless if the other person is a man or woman). Now, your interests can change a bit over time. For instance, I used to crave photos of bottoms getting fucked with their cocks erect. If they were not erect, I felt that they were not really enjoying it and perhaps were only tolerating it (faking enjoyment). However, being with my partner for 13+ years (and he is someone who prefers you leave his cock alone when you are playing with his ass), I have learned that some men when they bottom must get so much pleasure that they don't want anything messing with their cock. So over the last few years, photos of bottoms with enjoyment showing in their face and them leaving their cock alone has become more erotic to me than a bottom with an erection. (I still hope he is leaking, but most mean don't leak much.)

So in summary, labels do best for grocery items -- not people. It is better to get to know the person without any pre-conceived notions as to how they think, feel, love, etc. I only have issues when people use labels on themselves which seem way off. I just hope that I always give another the time to get to know where they are really comming from. Some times the most important thing to give another human being is an open mind to get to know them for who they are -- not what you assume they are based on labels or whatever superficial things you observe about them.

 

[oralgami]

I just didn't want to always wonder what it would be like. It was scary to try - it's a big step for those of us brought up to believe it's 'wrong' - and I felt shame and guilt at first, but had to admit I liked it. It opened up a whole new range of emotions for me

I was in my mid-40's and in a sexless marriage and extremely frustrated. I had some flings with other women but that always seemed to get complicated fast. I watched a lot of porn and as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I got turned on watching a guy getting sucked off. I started fantasizing about trading oral with another guy but, as much as it turned me on, I couldn't imagine an opportunity to do it for real ever presenting itself. I didn't want to always wonder what it would be like and I came to the realization that it was never going to happen unless I made it happen. You're right - it is a big step to do something that we're taught is wrong. Actually, it's worse than just being wrong - many of my friends, co-workers and family members would consider it to be perverse, repulsive and otherwise disgusting. Nevertheless, one day I found myself walking up to the front door of a house to present myself to a stranger hoping to suck his dick. The shared secrecy, the forbidden nature of the acts we wished to perform on each other made our little meeting all the more exciting.

It was intensely pleasurable and when it was over, I drove away wondering if I just did something I was going to regret. Turns out, I didn't regret it at all.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

Perhaps the older we get the more open when get to possibilities and how far they want to go... there is ones who remain curious then there's the ones who go for the experience

 

[hubbyinstockings]

Why i dress

I'm a guy who is basically interested in hard cock. The rest of the guy is of no interest to me. Guys are ugly and smell. However, a little fem boi or tranny could arouse me to do the entire repertoire.

Also, for me, the domination/submission factor comes into play for some reason with guys. I didn't have the feeling to either dominate or surrender to a woman, but with a guy dom/sub is a big part of the arousal. I like to either be feeding cock and talking nasty to the sub or be the sub and have cock fed to me while being humiliated.

My feelings for guys and cocks came to me late in life after having a fantastic sex life with my wife and enjoying many different pleasures that will stay with me for the rest of my life my sexual thoughts changed to guys while home alone one day. I was going through the wife's things and found some of her many pairs of stockings and knickers, I can remember pulling my first pair of stockings on it felt so good I then put a suspender belt and a pair of sheer black panties on and then I found a pair of her many shoes that fitted me and looked at myself in the mirror and loved the way I looked and felt. To cut a long story short I would dress as often as I could and then decided to take things further I found a site and started chatting with guys who were in to this sort of thing and I loved it, then one guy asked if I would cam with him which I agreed to do, he was older than me and had an amazing cock much bigger than me and I loved the fact that he was getting turned on by seeing me and to watch him wank and cum that was it I was hooked.

 

[betabrad]

I'm like many men here, I have no desire to kiss a man or have a romantic relationship with a man but I enjoy looking at a big hard cock and have many fantasies of sucking cock and being fucked , preferably while a woman is watching. I guess I must have some kind of predisposition for these feelings and part of it must be due to environment.

Other than that, I also think its also due to these reasons - I have a low testosterone level, I also think I tend have submissive leanings ( again I think due nature and nurture), and the availability of internet porn ( thank the Goddess for that). I also think that the more porn you watch you tend to progress toward kinkier subjects to get off. And , honestly , I think because I have a small penis , the more porn I watched , I just couldn't help but admire those big hard cocks. I just cant seem to help myself - I just have this desire to submit to a big cock.

 

[Lazy_lay]

I was in my mid-40's and in a sexless marriage and extremely frustrated. I had some flings with other women but that always seemed to get complicated fast. I watched a lot of porn and as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I got turned on watching a guy getting sucked off. I started fantasizing about trading oral with another guy but, as much as it turned me on, I couldn't imagine an opportunity to do it for real ever presenting itself. I didn't want to always wonder what it would be like and I came to the realization that it was never going to happen unless I made it happen. You're right - it is a big step to do something that we're taught is wrong. Actually, it's worse than just being wrong - many of my friends, co-workers and family members would consider it to be perverse, repulsive and otherwise disgusting. Nevertheless, one day I found myself walking up to the front door of a house to present myself to a stranger hoping to suck his dick. The shared secrecy, the forbidden nature of the acts we wished to perform on each other made our little meeting all the more exciting.

It was intensely pleasurable and when it was over, I drove away wondering if I just did something I was going to regret. Turns out, I didn't regret it at all.

For me, women excite me when I see them. A girl stripping is hot, a guy stripping does nothing. There are a few exceptions, but those are guys who resemble women - soft, slender. At the extreme are trannies of course. What I always have been fascinated with was blowjobs and deep throat. Aside from receiving it, in most cases from women, I liked to watch it. Porn makes that easy. I found that the kissing and hugging aspects of gay porn were a turnoff, but I liked the blowjobs almost as much as watching them with a woman. I say almost as much because a woman is so beautiful doing a guy. This led me to guys doing guys. I realized that I liked seeing the cock being worked, and then exploding.

Guess where that led? To wanting to do it, and then doing it, of course. It's put a whole new aspect on the way I view men, and women too. But I know exactly what guys want - they want to get off, and then to walk away. Then maybe to come back and get off again. That's not terribly different than jerking off. That's what's interesting about it, sex without emotional clinging and all the embellishments that a woman puts on it.

 

[travler99920]

My case

Three things changed for me at about the same time. I got ED, became submissive, and started wanting cock. Not sure what caused what, but now I consider myself bi