Why do older men become bi-curious?

[Chicago69]

Me too but if I run across the right guy, I'd be willing to try alot as well

Exactly. I really do want to try a lot, but the hardest part is finding the right person to do it with.

I do enjoy chatting. I tried phone years ago and that was really fun.

 

[Chicago69]

For those who are bi-curious, do you find yourself checking out guys while out and about?

While I'm interested in being taken by a guy while I'm dressed in Sandy, I'm still not attracted to a guys looks. It's more about me being desired so my motivations may be different.

I'm rarely interested in other guys when I'm out. Every now and then one will catch my eye that I'll think looks really hot and I'll start imagining things for a few minutes. But for the most part, my attraction to guys comes from when I watch porn. And usually the hard core stuff. Gay or straight porn but lately more gay.

 

[xperthands]

Get a dildo, about 6 inches or so. I've never had anal with a guy, but jacking off while using a dildo is VERY intense.

Joso

You're right, cumming with a finger/butt plug/dildo/strapon in your ass IS really intense, but I am looking for the experience of having someone who's fucking me and isn't going to stop until HE has come. Psychologically, that's got to be quite different.

 

[xperthands]

To the original question: I don't know why. I am in my late 50s. My wife & I still have sex about 3 times a week, but I find my natural attraction to cock getting stronger as I age. She still turns me on, as do a lot of other women, but I find myself daydreaming about past experiences with cock and unfulfilled desires more and more the older I get.

 

[J1biboi]

To the original question: I don't know why. I am in my late 50s. My wife & I still have sex about 3 times a week, but I find my natural attraction to cock getting stronger as I age. She still turns me on, as do a lot of other women, but I find myself daydreaming about past experiences with cock and unfulfilled desires more and more the older I get.

I was the same way. My wife has passed, but before she got sick we still had a pretty good sex life, but I found myself thinking more and more about sucking cock. I've always had the urge but it has gotten stronger in my later years.

 

[dacoach44]

My poor wife died off, and I found a sissy,who sucked and fucked me silly. So much easier to date one of them.

 

[jackstud]

Lucky guy. Sad about your wife. I think she would approve

 

[Redhill123]

I read a lot of the forums on Lit, mostly just out of curiosity. I think there are a few her in my similar situation:

Just an observation, thought or comment; I’m not sure which it is? However, as a man approaching or already into his senior years, divorced – not having sex with anyone in 3 years, I’ve had a little time to reflect on what role sex plays a part in my life.

In deference to my ex, whom I still respect, I did not engage in affairs of either persuasion but yet I can understand the desire to. I understand the attraction but to me it seems like the old adage “any port in a storm” (for you sailor types).

Just as a reference point, my best friend was a gay man that I had known since freshman year in high school. No we never engaged sexually. We did sail, we did so many things around the world but it was a true friendship. Unfortunately, he passed away as many gay men have.

So my point; you should think hard about your life and desires and separate the immediate from the long term. This is preachy and I know I’m being very apostolic. I walk down the street and see a pretty woman and I’m a puddle on the sidewalk. This does not happen when I meet men. But as my best friend would say, “it does happen” I believe it.

Sex, as I have discovered, plays a substantial role in my life, (I’m here on Lit!) a life I need to get back to. I am responding here because I have thought, as many of you have commented that you are “curious” or wanting to explore? Bi is Bi, Gay is Gay, and porn today makes it all seem OK? But may I suggest “Straight & Lonely”, that’s probably me and perhaps a lot of you all.

Make up your own mind. But don’t deceive yourself. Despair is the worst sin of all.

This is a bit rambly and not as succinct as I would offer if I did a complete edit but It’s all off the op of my head, just thoughts, I will get flamed for this no doubt but it is my first barb into the throws of humanity.

I wish you all the best.

 

[piddlyass]

I believe I've always been bisexual. Becoming older has just made me realize how misguided I've been hiding that truth. I never wanted to be the "fag" everyone laughed at. I grew up and live in the south. Teenage rednecks, well adult ones too, can be cruel. I know I was afraid to act until my 30's simply out of fear. I was a lot more flexible in my youth. I could get the first inch or two of my penis in my mouth and was swallowing my own semen on a regular basis. I had already developed a desire for anal play. I can definitely say I was bisexual very early.
If you are wondering, I don't have a giant penis and no, I can't do that anymore.

 

[Jake1945]

I wonder if men become more interested in bisexual activity as they get older because men are so much easier to please. I find there is always a bit of guess work with a woman as to whether or not she is going to be interested or enjoy a romp in bed. You know when you hook up with a guy that he is going to want to have sex.

 

[tmmmbrrr]

I wonder if men become more interested in bisexual activity as they get older because men are so much easier to please. I find there is always a bit of guess work with a woman as to whether or not she is going to be interested or enjoy a romp in bed. You know when you hook up with a guy that he is going to want to have sex.

smart guy

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I wonder if men become more interested in bisexual activity as they get older because men are so much easier to please. I find there is always a bit of guess work with a woman as to whether or not she is going to be interested or enjoy a romp in bed. You know when you hook up with a guy that he is going to want to have sex.

It is definitely easier to find another guy online to cyber with than it is to find a woman.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

It is definitely easier to find another guy online to cyber with than it is to find a woman.

Cybering with a woman tends to take more lead time getting to know each other, whereas a guy will tend to be more direct ad start talking about cock after hi.

 

[Y_Diner]

At the dawn of social media, I usta frequent chat rooms looking for cyber sex. One interaction with a woman was something like, "What do you want?" "Cyber sex, of course..." "Typing is too slow; here's my number....."

Ever since then I've agreed with her. Phone is way more fun than typing. But I'm enough of a Luddite to not have a smart phone, so things like Kik are beyond me. Same with computer video camera....(yes, yes, I need to get with it...). That leaves phone for me. I love it. I give good phone....

The weird thing I've found, is that it's almost harder to have phone sex with guys, as sooooo many are on the DL.

Wanna talk on the phone and get off? Send me a PM.

 

[cuckolddaddy]

sucking

Where do you land on the intimacy question? The act itself is inherently intimate but was your desire based on having an intimate act with another male or just getting your rocks off and moving on?

I have a regular local guy for weekend nights,he is uncut and that is a huge turnon for me. I don't let him do me because when I come I lose the urge to suck and swallow like most men. I hope to have this as a regular gig on Friday nights.

 

[cuckolddaddy]

hooking up

That's the hard part, finding a buddy with the same interests... and safe and discrete

www.squirt.org for local hookups free and relatively safe

 

[Jake1945]

It is definitely easier to find another guy online to cyber with than it is to find a woman.

Especially since many of the women are really men pretending to be a woman.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

Especially since many of the women are really men pretending to be a woman.

Unfortunately, probably true. Cyber lets people be who, or what, they want to be

 

[photobuff56]

www.squirt.org for local hookups free and relatively safe

resinesd up

 

[Jerseyshore]

It's an interesting subject. I have been with two older men that wanted to experiment and it worked out well both times. In one case it started with mutual masturbation. Once my friend (age 55) gradually got more in tune with his desires it advanced to more intimate sex. Since I am basically a bottom it was less threatening to his masculinity and he was quite comfortable with gay sex.

The other time the man was much older than I was (53-33). I knew he was interested from his questions when he found out I was gay. I was attracted to him and eventually we had a night together. I did oral on him and then he jerked me off. He gradually relaxed about intimacy and he got very comfortable about expressing tenderness. My partner had just left me and I was more interested in casual sex.

I neither case were my friends interested in leaving their wives, and I understood that. Gay culture easily accepts casual sex and I enjoyed both men very much. You have to be careful with a married man since, as noted in the original Joy of Gay Sex, married men are more worried about their reputations than Spanish virgins. It's important to not question their masculinity but to let them ask the questions and take the initiative to try different things.

It can also work out rather interestingly. A friend of mine got into swinging from the urging of his wife, and he was initially was very uncomfortable. They eventually met a wonderful couple and he became quite close to the other man. They had a "gay" weekend together without the wives...just the two of them going to a gay bar and ending up having sex for a weekend. It changed his outlook and later he attended a job-related conference and met a gay man and had sex several times. His wife was mature enough to accept this. Later his wife was out of town and he went to a local gay bar and picked up a delightful younger man and they began a relationship. He eventually realized that he had repressed his desires for a very long time and came out as gay. His son had earlier come out to his parents and it was pretty awkward for the wife as you can imagine. However, they came to resolution. They still live together as man and wife, but he is still in his relationship with his partner and she took the freedom to explore her attraction to other women. She has a relationship with the local girl's basketball coach. They love each other very much and accept each other as they are.

Communication is the key in these situations. Let the other man take the lead, answer his questions forthrightly, and enjoy what happens

 

[Jerseyshore]

This has been the issue with me. I'd love to try an experience with another guy, but I get weary when a guy is willing to mess around without even knowing much about you. Without knowing if you're safe or not.

If I met someone and we got along, trusted each other, and played safe, I'd be willing to try a lot.

Good thinking Chicago69. Finding a man that understands you and is has the patience to accept your situation and let you get comfortable with him and especially with your desires makes it quite worthwhile. Good luck!!!!!!

 

[placerville99]

I had my first bi experience in my early 30's. I was invited to a colleague's house for dinner and we ended up in their spa. After enough wine to loosen everyone up, the wife left the spa and my colleague/friend commented that the wife seemed attracted to me. I did not know what to say. She returned shortly in a short robe which quickly dropped to the floor and she entered the spa nude. She at next to me and her husband sat opposite us. Well, it did not take long for things to happen and soon we were outside the spa and the wife was on my chest and I was enjoying her licking her. I was semi-hard and getting very excited and then there was a warm mouth on my cock. I was startled and began to sit up but the wife just tightened her thighs and said to me, "friction is friction honey, enjoy it." And, I did.

Since then my bi activities have been limited, but it seems that as I have aged the interest has grown. Maybe it is just less activity with my spouse, maybe it is just the idea of how sexy it is when I man has his mouth on me. Whatever the explanation, my interest has increased over the last few years and here I am.......

 

[none2_none2]

I read a lot of the forums on Lit, mostly just out of curiosity. I think there are a few her in my similar situation:

Just an observation, thought or comment; I’m not sure which it is? However, as a man approaching or already into his senior years, divorced – not having sex with anyone in 3 years, I’ve had a little time to reflect on what role sex plays a part in my life.

In deference to my ex, whom I still respect, I did not engage in affairs of either persuasion but yet I can understand the desire to. I understand the attraction but to me it seems like the old adage “any port in a storm” (for you sailor types).

Just as a reference point, my best friend was a gay man that I had known since freshman year in high school. No we never engaged sexually. We did sail, we did so many things around the world but it was a true friendship. Unfortunately, he passed away as many gay men have.

So my point; you should think hard about your life and desires and separate the immediate from the long term. This is preachy and I know I’m being very apostolic. I walk down the street and see a pretty woman and I’m a puddle on the sidewalk. This does not happen when I meet men. But as my best friend would say, “it does happen” I believe it.

Sex, as I have discovered, plays a substantial role in my life, (I’m here on Lit!) a life I need to get back to. I am responding here because I have thought, as many of you have commented that you are “curious” or wanting to explore? Bi is Bi, Gay is Gay, and porn today makes it all seem OK? But may I suggest “Straight & Lonely”, that’s probably me and perhaps a lot of you all.

Make up your own mind. But don’t deceive yourself. Despair is the worst sin of all.

This is a bit rambly and not as succinct as I would offer if I did a complete edit but It’s all off the op of my head, just thoughts, I will get flamed for this no doubt but it is my first barb into the throws of humanity.

I wish you all the best.

I wish I had the power to know where other guys were coming from. However, I don't even have myself 100% figured out all the time, so I'd be hard pressed to claim to figure out others. Perhaps not understanding guys is what attracts me to them...

I think there are a lot of lonely people -- regardless of gender and regardless of whatever labels on sexuality they give themselves. I've known plenty of self-identifying gay men who would stoop to have any kind of sex with any kind of guy because they simply do not want to be alone. I have to admit that I never knew any that would be willing to be str8 curious, but then I'm sure that permutation exists too.

As for Bi/gay curious, I'm totally at a loss. Though I have been almost exclusively with guys all my adult sexual life, I never was strongly attracted to penises. Perhaps some of it was loneliness from the fact that men in my life as a child were illusive -- dying, absent, pre-occupied with other interests. Who knows. Physically, handsome, hairy, muscular, manly guys are what tripp my trigger. But still it was more about some guy wanting to hang around me than it was just "getting off" with a hot looking guy. I do not find women unattractive. I simply felt that had I gone down the traditional "marriage" route, there still would have been a feeling of missing a man in the household. I suppose had I been fertile, such a marriage would have produced sons. However, eventually children grow up and leave home, so again I would miss a man in the household once they moved on.

I am going to guess that the bi curious runs the gamut. I will never understand those that want the label str8-crave-cock-not-men crowd. There is no penis that doesn't come attached to a man with a heart. Sure some guys crave sucking cock through a glory hole. That is their obsession. Perhaps they are lonely too, but how 5 to 30 minutes of sucking on an anonymous cock through a hole takes away lonliness, I would have no idea. Perhaps it is because that time their minds are solely on sex, and nothing about the stresses (including possible lonliness) that surround their regular lives.

Some say men are uncomplicated --they just want to get off. However, if that was all there was to it, we would have herds of unattached men, just out chasing whatever they can get for the moment. They say that married men live longer, so I do think that plenty of men (regardless of persuasion) do have a nesting desire. There is something comforting for plenty of us to come home to something other than an empty house.

Other permutations I just don't get are male porn stars who claim to be 100% straight, but do gay porn because the pay is so much better. I suppose with pills, etc, there is nothing to keep a male from fucking any hole given him if he is hard. However, how a supposed str8 man would take a penis in his mouth or behind seems wierd, but then I suppose everybody has their price. I'm gay and I don't crave penises which makes it all the more hard for me to comprehend str8 guys doing it... (It is too bad we cannot read other people's minds as it would be interesting to know what goes on inside such a guy's head when he is with a guy if he is str8, and also waht goes on in his mind when he has sex with his girlfriend when he has taken cock earlier in the day.)

I don't think there are any simple answers. I think as long as someone doesn't try to lead others on to believing that they care more than they do, then who am I to judge. I would just ask the person that while not deceiving others about their intent, make sure not to deceive themselves. There are still plenty of guys who have man on man sex who don't admit that the m2m companionship (though maybe very brief) is as much an enjoyable element of their encounter as is just a shooting cock.

 

[Y_Diner]

Personally, I think the 'straight or curious seeking cock' label involves a good amount of self deception. My definition is clearer: if you're male, and sexually attracted by a cock, you are NOT straight!

 

[edgrant]

Personally, I think the 'straight or curious seeking cock' label involves a good amount of self deception. My definition is clearer: if you're male, and sexually attracted by a cock, you are NOT straight!

I agree. I haven't done it yet, but mentally consider myself bisexual because I am attracted and desire cock.