The gay pride parade seems detrimental to the GLBT community to me

[sixstring1987]

I'm straight so it could just be that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. That said, the gay pride parade seems to do more harm than good in my eyes.

In my experience, the extravagant and flamboyant gays are a minority. Most gays dress like straight men than like that. But if you look at the gay pride parade, pretty much everyone there belongs to the extravagant and flamboyant group. It seems to me that this parade only reinforces the negative stereotypes about gays. Homophobic people will pay attention to the ones who are the most vocal, and they'll just have their stereotypes reaffirmed...

So I was wondering how others feel about that.

 

[trishcd]

I'm straight so it could just be that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. That said, the gay pride parade seems to do more harm than good in my eyes.

In my experience, the extravagant and flamboyant gays are a minority. Most gays dress like straight men than like that. But if you look at the gay pride parade, pretty much everyone there belongs to the extravagant and flamboyant group. It seems to me that this parade only reinforces the negative stereotypes about gays. Homophobic people will pay attention to the ones who are the most vocal, and they'll just have their stereotypes reaffirmed...

So I was wondering how others feel about that.

I feel like the 1st Amendment is working.....nuff said !

 

[stickygirl]

Meh... I think the Gay Pride marches are primarily for LGBT people, not run as a PR showcase to the hetero community. If I go to watch a circus parade, I don't come away thinking all circus people have huge feet like clowns. It is a festival, it's a party and to judge someone by what they wear to a nightclub is hardly fair.

Sure, there are plenty of straight acting gays and some of them may cringe as well, but I think they are more likely to say "Hey - it's a party, what's the problem?" than you. Lighten up

 

[CJontherocks]

While I see your point that those who are flamboyant in their sexuality might turn some people off, I disagree with the premise that gay pride presents an overall bad image.

First and foremost, we're not looking to present an image that heterosexual people who already don't like gay people can tolerate. Let's face it, there are a great many people who don't care whether we're straight-looking, straight-acting, dressed in outrageous garb, gray flannel suits, or as a tuna fish. These people don't want us to be gay because they want us to be like them. We're not. And we don't want to act like them simply so they'll like us better. THAT, as I see it, is the whole point of the pride festivals, parades, and associated merriment. It's about showing that we're proud to be who we are. Even if the image we present isn't what we wear to work every day, we reserve the right to be different, in whatever way we are, and insist that people respect that.

I am admittedly not "out," and I've never participated in or attended a gay pride event. It's definitely on my bucket list, though, as is "coming out." I applaud those who venture into the fish bowl in the interest of furthering the cause for sexual diversity.

Here are the great things I see about gay pride events:

1. People who participate are awesome, show great strength of character, and are not afraid to put themselves out there.
2. People who participate offer strength, camaraderie, and a general sense of wellness to others.
3. The event itself promotes a sense of community for GLBT people.
4. It looks damn fun.
5. It's a poke in the eye to all the haters and homophobes.
6. Non-GLBT people see it and either a) become more accustomed to us, or b) want to be like us. Win-win.
7. It gives us a forum where we can be as different from the hetero people as we want, or as similar (contrast and comparison), and show the world that we're pretty cool people all-in-all.
8. It gives hetero people a forum where they can show their support for us and thumb their noses at the closed-minded haters in their own circles.

That's all I can think of for now. This post was not intended to be politically correct, please everybody, or reflect the views and opinions of anyone but me.

 

[sixstring1987]

While I see your point that those who are flamboyant in their sexuality might turn some people off, I disagree with the premise that gay pride presents an overall bad image.

First and foremost, we're not looking to present an image that heterosexual people who already don't like gay people can tolerate. Let's face it, there are a great many people who don't care whether we're straight-looking, straight-acting, dressed in outrageous garb, gray flannel suits, or as a tuna fish. These people don't want us to be gay because they want us to be like them. We're not. And we don't want to act like them simply so they'll like us better. THAT, as I see it, is the whole point of the pride festivals, parades, and associated merriment. It's about showing that we're proud to be who we are. Even if the image we present isn't what we wear to work every day, we reserve the right to be different, in whatever way we are, and insist that people respect that.

I am admittedly not "out," and I've never participated in or attended a gay pride event. It's definitely on my bucket list, though, as is "coming out." I applaud those who venture into the fish bowl in the interest of furthering the cause for sexual diversity.

Here are the great things I see about gay pride events:

1. People who participate are awesome, show great strength of character, and are not afraid to put themselves out there.
2. People who participate offer strength, camaraderie, and a general sense of wellness to others.
3. The event itself promotes a sense of community for GLBT people.
4. It looks damn fun.
5. It's a poke in the eye to all the haters and homophobes.
6. Non-GLBT people see it and either a) become more accustomed to us, or b) want to be like us. Win-win.
7. It gives us a forum where we can be as different from the hetero people as we want, or as similar (contrast and comparison), and show the world that we're pretty cool people all-in-all.
8. It gives hetero people a forum where they can show their support for us and thumb their noses at the closed-minded haters in their own circles.

That's all I can think of for now. This post was not intended to be politically correct, please everybody, or reflect the views and opinions of anyone but me.

Great response, gave me some better insights.
I wasn't implying that they want to present an image. But that it could be a bad side-effect.

 

[haurni]

1. People who participate are awesome, show great strength of character, and are not afraid to put themselves out there.
2. People who participate offer strength, camaraderie, and a general sense of wellness to others.
3. The event itself promotes a sense of community for GLBT people.
4. It looks damn fun.
5. It's a poke in the eye to all the haters and homophobes.
6. Non-GLBT people see it and either a) become more accustomed to us, or b) want to be like us. Win-win.
7. It gives us a forum where we can be as different from the hetero people as we want, or as similar (contrast and comparison), and show the world that we're pretty cool people all-in-all.
8. It gives hetero people a forum where they can show their support for us and thumb their noses at the closed-minded haters in their own circles.

I think CJ said it well. The people who object to things like nudity and sexuality in Pride parades are the straights and assimilationists who want LGBTQ people to 'just blend in' and not attract attention. I might be overgeneralizing, but I think many of these are probably middle class gay white men. In a sense, I think its almost a case of wanting gays 'out of sight, out of mind' because being reminded that not everybody is straight, white and middle class is a bit of a shock to some people. And god forbid that someone has to explain to the kiddies why those women are kissing each other or why that man is wearing only leather straps.

I typically respond with one or more of the following:

1) there are many different kinds of LGBTQ people, and they don't all look/act the same or value the same things (or have the same values that you do),
2) outside of small areas ('ghettos') in some cities (and often not even there), a Pride parade is sometimes the only place that LGBTQ people can be 'out and proud' of themselves and celebrate what makes them different from the straights (and not be assaulted for it, verbally or otherwise),
3a) there's enough sex around you all the time - in magazines, billboards and on TV - but you don't see it because you're so used to it. We're fine with Calvin Klein ads, pre-teen beauty queens and rape culture, but ohmigodthegays!
3b) if North America was a little more relaxed about sex and a little more uptight about violence we'd probably be happier for it, and these questions wouldn't even come up, or at least not with the sort of shock that accompanies them when they do.
​

 

[haurni]

I wasn't implying that they want to present an image. But that it could be a bad side-effect.

Pride parades often do present an image of LGBTQ people as hedonistic sex freaks, but that's that's what straight people come to see. When labour unions, members of public service and community organizations, and half a dozen different police forces form a significant part of a parade and they're not all fucking on top of their cars, nobody is paying much attention to them.
Also, there's a lot more kinky straight sex going on in the world just by virtue of sheer numbers, but it tends to be low-level and spread out over time rather than concentrated in one day so it doesnt get noticed as much. Check out the front page of any issue of Cosmo (their online page today has articles on 'How a virgin and a porn addict got married' and 'Hot-tub hug: both of you can watch the action in this you-on-top position'. QED).

 

[Dyslexicea]

Wonderful reply, haurni.

 

[Amberchgo]

I have no issues with gays or lesbians but two signs on porta potties turned me off a couple years ago.

They were lined up on the route and said:

1). No sex in porta potties
2). 2 or more people not allowed inside.



They needed signs for this?

 

[stickygirl]

Wonderful reply, haurni.

He does a good line in replies. I hate him

 

[haurni]

He does a good line in replies. I hate him

Psh. I am a but a dilettante with a bit o' book larnin' next to you who actually walk the walk as well as talking the talk. I learn from all of you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If someone is homophobic, they will hate and fear queer folk, even though they are dressed like a banker.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm straight so it could just be that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. That said, the gay pride parade seems to do more harm than good in my eyes.

In my experience, the extravagant and flamboyant gays are a minority. Most gays dress like straight men than like that. But if you look at the gay pride parade, pretty much everyone there belongs to the extravagant and flamboyant group. It seems to me that this parade only reinforces the negative stereotypes about gays. Homophobic people will pay attention to the ones who are the most vocal, and they'll just have their stereotypes reaffirmed...

So I was wondering how others feel about that.

In my experience, two guys walking down the street holding hands are "extravagant and flamboyant" to some people. As I see it, the point of things like Pride isn't to reassure the Moral Minority that GLBT folk are safe and normal, it's more to say "we're here and we have as much right to exist as anybody else does". Playing respectability politics undermines that message.

That said, the fact that you're calling it a "gay pride parade" does underline a problem with these events: a tendency to erase B and T and pretend that things like Stonewall were all about cis gay guys.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I wish ours was a whole week, one day I 'll make it to a bigger one.

Anyway, not everyone acts a fool at these things. It's a place for many things, showing your true colors, letting go, buying what may be cheap overpriced merch, for those who aren't in tight capris and a sports bra(that was me this year), wearing somethinh casual, even for those who wants to show out- a safe place. Yeah, there's infighting us, morw than less, it brings a truce. Nomatter who you are, we are there for the same things.

 

[haurni]

We just had a whole week here in Toronto. It was great.

 

[stickygirl]

for those who aren't in tight capris and a sports bra(that was me this year)

Really?! Gosh you do surprise me Jax! I'm sure you looked gorgeous

 

[john415]

Saint Patricks Day is detrimental for the Irish community 635 views

 

[stickygirl]

Saint Patricks Day is detrimental for the Irish community 635 views

Nice one!!
...and soccer supporters are an offense to the sport

 

[jehoram]

I haven't seen the parade in San Francisco, but I hear that all the press coverage goes to the most flamboyant participants, but there are literally hundreds of participants in normal street clothes. These aren't the ones that the cameras are aimed at.

That said, I read an article by former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown in this morning's San Francisco Chronicle. He remarked that this last parade was considerably more subdued than previous ones in terms of shock value, and wondered if it reflected an aging of the gay community. Maybe. Or perhaps the ratio of flamboyant to non-flamboyant is diminishing because of the increase in participation of the latter crowd.

 

[stickygirl]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/46ff9cee26ca9d6d43d99ea63e894c95/tumblr_mgvv6oYO6I1rmnbeno1_500.jpg
Shocking

 

[Sasha69]

Hey, I Think ...

... if some adults WANT TO THROW A parade because they're feeling Fab about themselves, they sould be able to do that. Just let me know when they're doing it. I'd hate to leave it off my calendar, who knows, I might be feeling Fab that day myself?

 

[Sasha69]

Nice ....

Pride parades often do present an image of LGBTQ people as hedonistic sex freaks, but that's that's what straight people come to see.

So, I'm with the hedonistic freak crowd. All I can say is haurni, two sentences GOT IT!

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Really?! Gosh you do surprise me Jax! I'm sure you looked gorgeous

Oh, I think I looked pretty good, I wish I had a picture. There's something about womens clothes that I enjoy, something else about me I don't completly know yet.

 

[Elysium_Wynd]

I got to go to a pride parade on my birthday last June and I'm half with the OP, half against him. I'm bisexual myself and it was a hell of a hard time getting there, so I thought a pride parade would do me some good. There were normal people there, dressed in street clothes and holding signs and for the first time I felt like I could belong in this community (the local queer community doesn't like bisexuals, I'm afraid to say), like this community was something I wanted to be a part of.

And I get that some homophobes will always focus on the "weird sex", which just means the sex that they don't have, but muscled men dancing in what can only be called stripper outfits I think is uncalled for, or the fact that there was a lot of very sexual, out-there "leather pride" mixing with the LGBT pride at 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon. Maybe it was just the parade I went to, maybe I just live in a city that is more bondage focused than I realised and they all come out of the woodwork on Pride Week, but it doesn't seem to do any good. I always thought that the parades were meant to be political statements, since they're big groups of minorities showing great pride and demonstrating their uniqueness.
But, hey, I'm only bisexual.

 

[JerseyPrincess]

I am a straight ally and I love going to Pride! My first one was Indianapolis last year and then our local one this year and I also went to NYC...which was a blast! That being said, yes there are some very flamboyant people at Pride, but there are also less flamboyant ones as well. The way I see it, Pride is the one day you get to be who you truly are deep inside. No pretenses, no worrying if you will be outed, no wondering if someone is going to say something rude because they dont agree with your orientation. It should be that way anyway...but since it isnt Pride is the one day it can be