Are gay or bi men interesting to women?

[Britva415]

Someone commented in a completely unrelated thread in a completely unrelated forum:

I've seen straight AND bi women get excessively weird over a bisexual guy, insisting that sucking cock makes them 'gay'

Sure, I've seen this. But it made me think of some of the reactions that I (bi guy) have seen which weren't excessively weird but were still surprising.

After I dropped out of college and "went back" as an unenrolled person just to hang out with friends and party, I was fuckbuddies with a bi girl. After I spent the night with her in her dorm single, and her dorm friends met me the next day, she introduced me as gay to everyone. I was like "teehee, sure" and went along with it. After a few weeks of regular overnight visits, I realized she had a boyfriend in the dorm and was covering up for me. Teehee!

Another girl was like, "Is my pussy good enough for you?" I was like, "hell yeah, of course." I hadn't even brought up anal sex at all and she thought it was inevitable that I would. Keep in mind this was >40 years ago, before every straight porn went anal before the end.

One time I was at a bar and three girls I knew from around, came to hang out and drink with me. One of them liked me but her girls told her, sotto-voce, "Good luck with that, he sucks dick." I think they figured they wouldn't offend me because I was "out" and it wasn't any secret, but I'm not sure if they thought I was gay or were told I was bi and didn't quite get it. Anyway, I whispered in the one girl's ear, "I'll eat you out and fuck you, too." She ignored her friends after that and we went home together that night.

I love bi girls and through no particular effort on my own part, a majority of the women I dated or had sex with before my wife turned out to be bi. I guess I have a "type" and my bi-dar works unconsciously?

I was in a LTR with a gay man. For several years, he was a huge pain in the ass about constantly being insecure and fearful that I would cheat on him and/or leave him for a woman. I never did* but had at least 6 different opportunities - with very forward women who all knew I was in a gay relationship.

And a bi woman in a lesbian relationship made me her fuckbuddy. These two had an agreement that, if someone wanted cock, then outside sex with a gay man would be OK. I never knew whether her partner was aware I was bi and not gay, or that we were even doing it at all.

I don't know, just seems like I've seen a lot of horny eyes for the queer guy.

How about all you-all?

* Not until the very end, anyway, when things were already very clearly falling apart. It wasn't over a woman at all, there were other reasons, and I didn't leave him, he was the one who left rather than lift a finger to work things out, but I did cheat with a woman before it officially ended, and she and I wound up together afterwards.

 

[Escierto]

Someone commented in a completely unrelated thread in a completely unrelated forum:

Sure, I've seen this. But it made me think of some of the reactions that I (bi guy) have seen which weren't excessively weird but were still surprising.

After I dropped out of college and "went back" as an unenrolled person just to hang out with friends and party, I was fuckbuddies with a bi girl. After I spent the night with her in her dorm single, and her dorm friends met me the next day, she introduced me as gay to everyone. I was like "teehee, sure" and went along with it. After a few weeks of regular overnight visits, I realized she had a boyfriend in the dorm and was covering up for me. Teehee!

Another girl was like, "Is my pussy good enough for you?" I was like, "hell yeah, of course." I hadn't even brought up anal sex at all and she thought it was inevitable that I would. Keep in mind this was >40 years ago, before every straight porn went anal before the end.

One time I was at a bar and three girls I knew from around, came to hang out and drink with me. One of them liked me but her girls told her, sotto-voce, "Good luck with that, he sucks dick." I think they figured they wouldn't offend me because I was "out" and it wasn't any secret, but I'm not sure if they thought I was gay or were told I was bi and didn't quite get it. Anyway, I whispered in the one girl's ear, "I'll eat you out and fuck you, too." She ignored her friends after that and we went home together that night.

I love bi girls and through no particular effort on my own part, a majority of the women I dated or had sex with before my wife turned out to be bi. I guess I have a "type" and my bi-dar works unconsciously?

I was in a LTR with a gay man. For several years, he was a huge pain in the ass about constantly being insecure and fearful that I would cheat on him and/or leave him for a woman. I never did* but had at least 6 different opportunities - with very forward women who all knew I was in a gay relationship.

And a bi woman in a lesbian relationship made me her fuckbuddy. These two had an agreement that, if someone wanted cock, then outside sex with a gay man would be OK. I never knew whether her partner was aware I was bi and not gay, or that we were even doing it at all.

I don't know, just seems like I've seen a lot of horny eyes for the queer guy.

How about all you-all?

* Not until the very end, anyway, when things were already very clearly falling apart. It wasn't over a woman at all, there were other reasons, and I didn't leave him, he was the one who left rather than lift a finger to work things out, but I did cheat with a woman before it officially ended, and she and I wound up together afterwards.

Very good post. It's interesting that various people were in denial (or not?) so they could do what they wanted to do anyway.

 

[Britva415]

Very good post. It's interesting that various people were in denial (or not?) so they could do what they wanted to do anyway.

How about you? Among people who know your partner is a trans woman, do any of them appear to have ever tried to try you out, either out of curiosity, or to see if you were "still straight," or some other reason related to how your partner's identity made them interested in you?

 

[Escierto]

How about you? Among people who know your partner is a trans woman, do any of them appear to have ever tried to try you out, either out of curiosity, or to see if you were "still straight," or some other reason related to how your partner's identity made them interested in you?

Now that you mention it, some people have either assumed I must be gay or asked me if I am. Just from being in a relationship with a trans woman. If they knew the sordid details, they would definitely put me on the queer team. Which is actually fine with me - it's a good team.

 

[curiousitieskill]

Someone commented in a completely unrelated thread in a completely unrelated forum:

Sure, I've seen this. But it made me think of some of the reactions that I (bi guy) have seen which weren't excessively weird but were still surprising.

After I dropped out of college and "went back" as an unenrolled person just to hang out with friends and party, I was fuckbuddies with a bi girl. After I spent the night with her in her dorm single, and her dorm friends met me the next day, she introduced me as gay to everyone. I was like "teehee, sure" and went along with it. After a few weeks of regular overnight visits, I realized she had a boyfriend in the dorm and was covering up for me. Teehee!

Another girl was like, "Is my pussy good enough for you?" I was like, "hell yeah, of course." I hadn't even brought up anal sex at all and she thought it was inevitable that I would. Keep in mind this was >40 years ago, before every straight porn went anal before the end.

One time I was at a bar and three girls I knew from around, came to hang out and drink with me. One of them liked me but her girls told her, sotto-voce, "Good luck with that, he sucks dick." I think they figured they wouldn't offend me because I was "out" and it wasn't any secret, but I'm not sure if they thought I was gay or were told I was bi and didn't quite get it. Anyway, I whispered in the one girl's ear, "I'll eat you out and fuck you, too." She ignored her friends after that and we went home together that night.

I love bi girls and through no particular effort on my own part, a majority of the women I dated or had sex with before my wife turned out to be bi. I guess I have a "type" and my bi-dar works unconsciously?

I was in a LTR with a gay man. For several years, he was a huge pain in the ass about constantly being insecure and fearful that I would cheat on him and/or leave him for a woman. I never did* but had at least 6 different opportunities - with very forward women who all knew I was in a gay relationship.

And a bi woman in a lesbian relationship made me her fuckbuddy. These two had an agreement that, if someone wanted cock, then outside sex with a gay man would be OK. I never knew whether her partner was aware I was bi and not gay, or that we were even doing it at all.

I don't know, just seems like I've seen a lot of horny eyes for the queer guy.

How about all you-all?

* Not until the very end, anyway, when things were already very clearly falling apart. It wasn't over a woman at all, there were other reasons, and I didn't leave him, he was the one who left rather than lift a finger to work things out, but I did cheat with a woman before it officially ended, and she and I wound up together afterwards.

wish i could find a sexy masculine bi man to fuck and play with.

 

[Britva415]

wish i could find a sexy masculine bi man to fuck and play with.

One-on-one? Or would you want a MMF?

 

[LookB4UDuaLipa]

It's interesting how society deems bi and sexually fluid women as normal but not bi and fluid men. I've read a lot of bi reddit threads and there are more stories of bi men getting negative treatment from straight and even bi women than vice versa. Not to say bi women don't face problems too but bi men are rejected more for their sexuality from what I've seen.

 

[Britva415]

It's interesting how society deems bi and sexually fluid women as normal but not bi and fluid men. I've read a lot of bi reddit threads and there are more stories of bi men getting negative treatment from straight and even bi women than vice versa. Not to say bi women don't face problems too but bi men are rejected more for their sexuality from what I've seen.

I see that sort of thing more in the realm of activist communities than in regular-old attraction type situations. But erasure is real, and in my opinion/experience erasure is the form the negative treatments take. "You can't be bi, just come the rest of the way out, already."

There's probably a political/activism type thread about this around here somewhere. This one isn't it. Sorry for the tangent.

 

[LookB4UDuaLipa]

I see that sort of thing more in the realm of activist communities than in regular-old attraction type situations. But erasure is real, and in my opinion/experience erasure is the form the negative treatments take. "You can't be bi, just come the rest of the way out, already."

There's probably a political/activism type thread about this around here somewhere. This one isn't it. Sorry for the tangent.

I've seen that idiotic take too, for some reason the idea that a man could be attracted to men erases his attraction to women. "If you're willing to suck dick you're gay" I something I've heard way too many times irl and online.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

I've seen that idiotic take too, for some reason the idea that a man could be attracted to men erases his attraction to women. "If you're willing to suck dick you're gay" I something I've heard way too many times irl and online.

Honest question, is that a common experience in the bi community, negativity from both straight and gay/lesbian communities? I guess people often think "if you're not this, you must be that" and there's no thought of other possibilities. Asking as one who is strongly bi-curious but not out.

 

[LookB4UDuaLipa]

Honest question, is that a common experience in the bi community, negativity from both straight and gay/lesbian communities? I guess people often think "if you're not this, you must be that" and there's no thought of other possibilities. Asking as one who is strongly bi-curious but not out.

Unfortunately yes it is a common occurrence, some people cannot fathom a middle ground you have to be 100% one thing or another. A lot of straight people see bi people as gay people in denial and gay and lesbians see bi people as straights in denial.

 

[Britva415]

Honest question, is that a common experience in the bi community, negativity from both straight and gay/lesbian communities? I guess people often think "if you're not this, you must be that" and there's no thought of other possibilities. Asking as one who is strongly bi-curious but not out.

"Negative" is a strong word, especially to the people who are having these reactions and don't see it as "negative" at all because of all the privilege they think they have to judge us. And because it's not usually expressed as "bi's suck fuck you," and more like "bi's aren't real" or "bi's aren't relevant" or "bi's always pass for straight so they don't understand the queer struggle."

We're not queer enough for some gays and we're not straight enough for some straights. Which I think is maybe a reason why people on both sides want bi's to just choose one of those two orientations or the other.

Bi-phobia is usually erasure rather than explicit ostracism on the basis of acknowledging someone's bisexuality and making that the problem.

Anyway, I didn't want to turn this into something other than sexy talk. There's plenty more to say on the identity and phobia subjects, but I've already said it in other threads.

This one's for answering the title question

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

Thanks to you both for your answers, didn't mean to hijack this thread.

 

[cdstefi]

As a newly minted official bi man (with my wife's permission I had my first meetup with another CD guy yesterday after years of prevaricating), I can say some women can find it hot if they're open minded and appreciate that everyone's somewhere on the spectrum and nobody is pure binary.

I wasn't sure how she'd react on my return but she was genuinely interested in details both sexual and non-sexual.

 

[1OldFaithful]

Since my wife is bi and we have been involved with the swing lifestyle a few years, we have met with two other bi couples. She has no issues with men playing around with each other which is mostly just sucking cock anyhow. I have no interest in going out looking for men to play with.

 

[Travler99921]

I know my wife found me more interesting once I came out to her and started having gay sex. My openess led to her to be more open about her sexual needs. I did my best to meet those needs. The upshot was cunnilingus to orgasm became our most common form of sex. Her orgasms became more common and more intense. I found out that masturbating to orgasm after making her cum was more satisfying to me than cumming in her vagina without her cumming.

 

[drobert44]

I know my wife found me more interesting once I came out to her and started having gay sex. My openess led to her to be more open about her sexual needs. I did my best to meet those needs. The upshot was cunnilingus to orgasm became our most common form of sex. Her orgasms became more common and more intense. I found out that masturbating to orgasm after making her cum was more satisfying to me than cumming in her vagina without her cumming.

I think open minded women dont care if men are gay. And, those kind of women are fun to be with.

 

[stargame]

I absolutely positively love laying with a woman.

 

[Chi_Guy_68]

Unfortunately yes it is a common occurrence, some people cannot fathom a middle ground you have to be 100% one thing or another. A lot of straight people see bi people as gay people in denial and gay and lesbians see bi people as straights in denial.

I've actually seen gay people say that bi men are really gay but still trying to hold on to straight identity.

Of course that thinking from anyone is ridiculous. It's entirely possible to enjoy sex with both genders. I know that is the case for me. I love pussy and dick.

 

[Chi_Guy_68]

wish i could find a sexy masculine bi man to fuck and play with.

Let me know if you're ever in Chicago
I'd be happy to be you bi man lover

 

[Escierto]

I've actually seen gay people say that bi men are really gay but still trying to hold on to straight identity.

Of course that thinking from anyone is ridiculous. It's entirely possible to enjoy sex with both genders. I know that is the case for me. I love pussy and dick.

Of course it is possible. Not only possible but a reality for many people.

 

[Wanking_Frank]

In the online dating (women) world, I used to be a little more up front about having at least done it with a couple of guys before. Some of the apps had a set of questions you could answer and I did so honestly, but that hadn’t worked out very well so now I would only disclose it if it came up. But I still tend to be drawn more to bisexual women because at least they would probably understand and I could beully authentic with someone like that.

 

[bunny2hunny]

Someone commented in a completely unrelated thread in a completely unrelated forum:

Sure, I've seen this. But it made me think of some of the reactions that I (bi guy) have seen which weren't excessively weird but were still surprising.

After I dropped out of college and "went back" as an unenrolled person just to hang out with friends and party, I was fuckbuddies with a bi girl. After I spent the night with her in her dorm single, and her dorm friends met me the next day, she introduced me as gay to everyone. I was like "teehee, sure" and went along with it. After a few weeks of regular overnight visits, I realized she had a boyfriend in the dorm and was covering up for me. Teehee!

Another girl was like, "Is my pussy good enough for you?" I was like, "hell yeah, of course." I hadn't even brought up anal sex at all and she thought it was inevitable that I would. Keep in mind this was >40 years ago, before every straight porn went anal before the end.

One time I was at a bar and three girls I knew from around, came to hang out and drink with me. One of them liked me but her girls told her, sotto-voce, "Good luck with that, he sucks dick." I think they figured they wouldn't offend me because I was "out" and it wasn't any secret, but I'm not sure if they thought I was gay or were told I was bi and didn't quite get it. Anyway, I whispered in the one girl's ear, "I'll eat you out and fuck you, too." She ignored her friends after that and we went home together that night.

I love bi girls and through no particular effort on my own part, a majority of the women I dated or had sex with before my wife turned out to be bi. I guess I have a "type" and my bi-dar works unconsciously?

I was in a LTR with a gay man. For several years, he was a huge pain in the ass about constantly being insecure and fearful that I would cheat on him and/or leave him for a woman. I never did* but had at least 6 different opportunities - with very forward women who all knew I was in a gay relationship.

And a bi woman in a lesbian relationship made me her fuckbuddy. These two had an agreement that, if someone wanted cock, then outside sex with a gay man would be OK. I never knew whether her partner was aware I was bi and not gay, or that we were even doing it at all.

I don't know, just seems like I've seen a lot of horny eyes for the queer guy.

How about all you-all?

* Not until the very end, anyway, when things were already very clearly falling apart. It wasn't over a woman at all, there were other reasons, and I didn't leave him, he was the one who left rather than lift a finger to work things out, but I did cheat with a woman before it officially ended, and she and I wound up together afterwards.

I don’t think of fucking them but I love gay porn and watching the pure raw energy when one is really pounding it! So hot and sexy

 

[stargame]

Of course I love women they are absolutely gorgeous and beautiful.

 

[Britva415]

Of course I love women they are absolutely gorgeous and beautiful.

Uh huh, not really what the question was about, but