panty_chap
Virgin
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2022
- Posts
- 108
It's pride month so I suppose it's time to acknowledge a few things.
It's not an uncommon story. I grew up never questioning my orientation (straight). I've been attracted to panties and cross dressing since an early age but it never confused me, I was just a guy who liked to wear lingerie. Never wanted to be a woman. Never wondered if I was gay, never thought about being with another guy. It was just a lingerie kink.
But flash forward 50 years. Sexless marriage. Falling further into internet forums and I finally admitted to my wife I liked to wear panties and had that conversation. I assured her I didn't want to be a woman, only liked wearing some of their clothes. It was a kink, not a lifestyle.
That kink led to surfing forums late at night, and the more I surfed, the further I slid. Early on when the internt forums and chat sites were just getting started I realized most of the people I was chatting with were guys pretending to be women.
Me? LGBTQIA? Nah. I just had a panty fetish. That over the years had grown and now I was open to chatting with guys on fetish sites. And by chatting, I maen cyber play. Serving them. But it was just a kink. No LGBT
Being in panties and lingerie made me feel submissive. That led to a cyber dom. He convinced me to shave my legs. Everything below my waist actually. I loved the look and feel. I did pretty much anything he requested. When chatting with others I would go pretty much wherever they led too, but I wasn't part of the LGBT crowd. Mine was a kink. There's was a lifestyle.
And then I went down the rabbit hole. When having happy hours at home with my wife I would serve her while wearing only panties. When I vacuumed or did housework I would do it in panties. She had no reaction good or bad. She didn't know what to think.
I had seen writings on becoming a sissy. I already did some of the things that were mentioned.
Serving men became a huge fantasy. I had a strong desire to suck a cock just to feel what it was like.
My dom decided to step it up too. He requested I start anal training with the goal of being able to cum from just anal stimulation. I bought a vibrating butt plug. I had done a little anal play before, but not like this. I loved using the plug. At first it was hard to insert. Then it became easy. Simply inserting it led to a spurt of precum on a couple occasions.
It started to consider that this was more than a fetish. It shocked me a bit but I was realizing I liked playing the part of a sissy. It changed from the thought of serving a man being exciting to the thought that someday I was going to serve a man being exciting.
My dom told me to change my profile on the fetish sites. There was no way I could say I was straight anymore. I changed it to hetroflexible.
I'm still not confused about being gay - I'm not. But with my wife's complete lack of interest in any sort of sexual relationship I honestly think I'm more likely to have sex with a guy than I am with a woman.
So we're back to pride month. I still don't claim that I am part of the LGBTQIA community, but it's more than a fetish at this point. My everyday persona doesn't really understand it, but if I'm being completley honest, it's not just a lingerie fetish, I fit the description of a sissy and would be happy to wear lingerie and serve someone who enjoys such things. It's so not my public personality but yeah, the desires are there.
So I may be part of the community, I may not be. I don't know. Public me says it's just a fetish. Private me says I'm certainly not straight, so I must fit in somewhere...
It's not an uncommon story. I grew up never questioning my orientation (straight). I've been attracted to panties and cross dressing since an early age but it never confused me, I was just a guy who liked to wear lingerie. Never wanted to be a woman. Never wondered if I was gay, never thought about being with another guy. It was just a lingerie kink.
But flash forward 50 years. Sexless marriage. Falling further into internet forums and I finally admitted to my wife I liked to wear panties and had that conversation. I assured her I didn't want to be a woman, only liked wearing some of their clothes. It was a kink, not a lifestyle.
That kink led to surfing forums late at night, and the more I surfed, the further I slid. Early on when the internt forums and chat sites were just getting started I realized most of the people I was chatting with were guys pretending to be women.
Me? LGBTQIA? Nah. I just had a panty fetish. That over the years had grown and now I was open to chatting with guys on fetish sites. And by chatting, I maen cyber play. Serving them. But it was just a kink. No LGBT
Being in panties and lingerie made me feel submissive. That led to a cyber dom. He convinced me to shave my legs. Everything below my waist actually. I loved the look and feel. I did pretty much anything he requested. When chatting with others I would go pretty much wherever they led too, but I wasn't part of the LGBT crowd. Mine was a kink. There's was a lifestyle.
And then I went down the rabbit hole. When having happy hours at home with my wife I would serve her while wearing only panties. When I vacuumed or did housework I would do it in panties. She had no reaction good or bad. She didn't know what to think.
I had seen writings on becoming a sissy. I already did some of the things that were mentioned.
Serving men became a huge fantasy. I had a strong desire to suck a cock just to feel what it was like.
My dom decided to step it up too. He requested I start anal training with the goal of being able to cum from just anal stimulation. I bought a vibrating butt plug. I had done a little anal play before, but not like this. I loved using the plug. At first it was hard to insert. Then it became easy. Simply inserting it led to a spurt of precum on a couple occasions.
It started to consider that this was more than a fetish. It shocked me a bit but I was realizing I liked playing the part of a sissy. It changed from the thought of serving a man being exciting to the thought that someday I was going to serve a man being exciting.
My dom told me to change my profile on the fetish sites. There was no way I could say I was straight anymore. I changed it to hetroflexible.
I'm still not confused about being gay - I'm not. But with my wife's complete lack of interest in any sort of sexual relationship I honestly think I'm more likely to have sex with a guy than I am with a woman.
So we're back to pride month. I still don't claim that I am part of the LGBTQIA community, but it's more than a fetish at this point. My everyday persona doesn't really understand it, but if I'm being completley honest, it's not just a lingerie fetish, I fit the description of a sissy and would be happy to wear lingerie and serve someone who enjoys such things. It's so not my public personality but yeah, the desires are there.
So I may be part of the community, I may not be. I don't know. Public me says it's just a fetish. Private me says I'm certainly not straight, so I must fit in somewhere...
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