Transition

[kimuk]

So we have chatted for hours on line. We text each other until our fingers ache. We find time to talk on the phone as often as we can. We play on cam. He instructs me. I obey. We reveal our sercets. Discuss our fetishes. Tell each other things we have never divulged to anyone else.

And now its time to cross the line.

To move our "relationship" from on line to real life.

How was it for you?

When you made the transition? Awkward ? Perfect?

Did he feel like someone who were destined to meet or a stranger with which there was no connection?

The most amazing experiance of your life?

Or your biggest regret?

Share the story here of how you crossed the line.......how the D/s fantasy became your reality.

Prepare me for when I leave the virtual world and enter the flesh and blood one.

Kim

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here's hoping it works for you!

Because the biggest disappointment in the world is getting together with your soul mate and discovering that your bodies just... won't... match up.

The pheremone mix is wrong or something.

On the other hand when the matchup works, you've got some really great stuff happening.

I've seen it go both ways.

 

[kimuk]

nervous , excited , overwhelmed and sooooooooooooooo hot for it to happen
8 weeks and counting!

 

[kimuk]

oh come on share a little?

 

[seela]

I'm not really sure I "qualify" to answer this thread, as we didn't know each other very long before meeting. There was absolutely no domination or submission going on before meeting, but a lot of talking about things we like and don't like, some things about BDSM, but mostly we talked about life in general. And we talked about politics, a lot, as the new parlament had just been elected. He felt like a person I could really get along with and I felt comfortable with him online.

He had given me his phone number but he didn't have mine, I googled and made sure that his story checked out, checked his address and eventually when we talked a bit more, it turned out we even had a friend in common, so I felt more than safe meeting him. So we met, it was a bit awkward at first, but it eased after a couple of minutes of chit-chat. I stayed for the night and while having breakfast we talked about politics and mathematics, and I remember thinking he must be the most amazing man on earth for wanting actual intellectual conversation for the first thing in the morning. Turned out he really is, if not the most amazing man on earth (he isn't Chuck Norris, after all, and can't push the earth down instead of doing push-ups), then at least in the top three (with de Palestrina, oh wait, he's dead, does he count?).

I think it was good that we didn't spend weeks and months talking online. That way we didn't have any big D/s fantasies built up, that could come crashing down. Things just started to evolve naturally when we did meet; they evolved fast, but everything's worked out better than great.

We've been together for over four years now and just moved in together after having lived in different cities for the better part of the last 2,5 years. I'm excited to be with him every day now, but also a little weirded out, because OMG I'm living with a man!

I think really high expectations are one of the major things that could derail the transition from online to real life. Or the pesky pheromones, that Stella mentioned. So enjoy the butterflies in your stomach, but try to be realistic with your expectations. It can be everything you've ever dreamed of and more, but don't be too disappointed if it doesn't quite match your expectations. First times can be tough.

I hope to see you come back deliriously giddy after your first meeting, though!

 

[FurryFury]

I was just talking with my teens the other day about this. I would never be in a relationship where I had to text constantly or do any cam-ing or even phone. I might do phone if I were single without kids but rarely as that's just not my thing.

Online play can be great. I've done it but never with the intention of meeting up in real life and making that transition into real skin to skin time. I believe most people who play online do so for a reason that will keep them from meeting in real skin to skin time.

The stories I've heard about people doing that range from wonderful to horrific. If you do it, I hope you follow great safety protocols and it's really wonderful.

FF

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I was in this situation a couple of years back. The relationship is now sadly no more for other reasons but at the time...

I flew to Dublin, it had been 6 months since we first started talking. I KNEW it was right, I trust my gut 99/100 and it told me it was going to be right.

I booked into a hotel and waited. I was in the corridor (by mistake, going back to my room) and the lift door opened. There he was. I grinned and ran back into my room like a teenager, giggling.

He was as nervous as me. But he walked through the door, took off his coat and wrapped me in his arms. It was everything we knew it would be.

For us it was perfect. Everything we had talked about was there, continued to be discussed and respected on both sides. We had 2 years of bliss, albeit not often enough but the times we spent together were simply the physical side of everything else.

Good luck, be aware of your surroundings, make sure you can get out if it really is NOT what it appeared to be. I hope though, that it is.

 

[kimuk]

I was in this situation a couple of years back. The relationship is now sadly no more for other reasons but at the time...

I flew to Dublin, it had been 6 months since we first started talking. I KNEW it was right, I trust my gut 99/100 and it told me it was going to be right.

I booked into a hotel and waited. I was in the corridor (by mistake, going back to my room) and the lift door opened. There he was. I grinned and ran back into my room like a teenager, giggling.

He was as nervous as me. But he walked through the door, took off his coat and wrapped me in his arms. It was everything we knew it would be.

For us it was perfect. Everything we had talked about was there, continued to be discussed and respected on both sides. We had 2 years of bliss, albeit not often enough but the times we spent together were simply the physical side of everything else.

Good luck, be aware of your surroundings, make sure you can get out if it really is NOT what it appeared to be. I hope though, that it is.

Oh thankyou fot this so much.
I'm realistic.
I don't expect violins and love at first sight.
I'll be careful.
I'll let you know how it goes.
But maybe not in explicit detail.
lol
kim

 

[kimuk]

Oh thankyou fot this so much.
I'm realistic.
I don't expect violins and love at first sight.
I'll be careful.
I'll let you know how it goes.
But maybe not in explicit detail.
lol
kim

thankyou FF and seela so much to.
I need to know the good and the bad.
The pitfalls and the pleasure.
i need to know the ....truth.
And from a Doms point of view would be a hugh benifit too!

So share ?

kim

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Well, this isn't a "Dom's point of view", but, honestly, since you're talking about a RELATIONSHIP, I don't see how it would matter.

For us, it was a very happy and good beginning. We fit as well as we thought we would (in both contexts ) and it just has worked out very well.

Good luck with your meeting!

 

[kimuk]

Thanks.......excited and terrified in equal proportions!

 

[ecstaticsub]

We met on-line over 6 years ago. We chatted, phoned etc for about 5 months. Then I became his submissive. About a month after that my family was going to visit my mother who lived in the same state where he lived.

My mother babysat as my husband and I went to stay for a few days at a bed and breakfast. During that time I drove to a hotel and met Daddy for the first time in the hotel bar. I had planned on spending some time in the bar making sure everything was ok but we kissed and hit it off immediately as if we had known each other forever.

He followed me out to my car to get my suitcase and I then up to his room. After we made love for the first time. We had a simple collaring ceremony. That night I was caned for the first time along with other activities he had not told me about before hand. Under normal circumstances I would have freaked out and run away. But I felt so safe with him. I had felt safe while on-line and sharing my most private of fantasies and I felt safe in real life as I was restrained and shared.

After his friends has left and it was once again just he and I, We made love for hours, and I truly felt surrendered and HIS.

When I woke up a few hours later I felt the same way. It felt right. We kissed good bye and I drove back to my husband. (yes, hubby knew where I was going and I had called him before going into Daddy's hotel room and several times during the night and the next morning)

That was the good part. We are also still very happily together after 6 years and seeing each other in person often.

Now the bad part. I don't know if it was sub-drop, sub frenzy but it was more like sub-rebellion that followed about 24 hours after I returned to my family. This is my first and only D/s relationship. I think I was afraid of what being collared, and being owned really meant. He was older and much much more experienced in D/s. He had had a few submissives before me. I remembering telling him that I changed my mind that I would be his girlfriend but not his submissive. He told me no. It was either I stay his submissive or the relationship was over. Which sounds sort of harsh but in the end helped settle me. He stayed very calm and steady and allowed me to talk out my concerns over the next few days.

A week later before my family and I flew back home Daddy and I met again for just a few hours. I am so glad glad we did. That meeting helped reassure me that I had had made the right decision and that I could trust him to guide our relationship's growth.

That first year was a little difficult as I learned what he expected of me and I learned about what submission really meant to ME.

The one bit of advice I would give (though I know you weren't really asking for advice) is to remain really open minded. The first meeting and really Daddy himself was not exactly how I imagined in my head. But I went that first time with no expectations, no predetermined check lists, no walls up. I was going to do my safe calls and stay sober, but other then that I was going to simply obey and be open. I left very happy and blissfully satisfied. (until the sub-rebellion hit)

Now 6 years later I have no regrets. I am so thankful that I took the risk and met him and trusted him.

Be smart, trust your instincts and I wish you the best!

 

[kimuk]

What an amazing account ....thanks

 

[midwestyankee]

You asked for some input from the other end of the see-saw.

First, second and always: a bdsm relationship is just like any other relationship. If you can't imagine being able to spend a boring afternoon with him for some reason, or if you think it might be difficult to find something to talk about that isn't related to sex, bdsm, or your sex life then it's worth re-thinking the whole enterprise.

Thought experiment: try to imagine spending several days with this person in which there will be, by mutual agreement, no sex. What will the two of you do? How will you amuse yourselves? What does this imagined picture tell you about the foundation of your friendship?

From either end of the see-saw, the emotional and physical risks are similar. You. Do. Not. Know. One. Another. Yet. Period. This means that there will be surprises, disappointments, nervous mistakes, and a lot of doubt. How you handle these together will tell you if the friendship has any chance of survival.

He is not who your dreams tell you he is. He may still be a fine and wonderful guy, but he is not the guy you imagine any more than you are the woman that he may be imagining.

Surviving the transition from online to in-person is all about beating back or letting go of all your imaginings about each other and letting the friendship reboot under its new, in-person, operating system.

I have been through this transition a few times and I can tell you that no two such events are ever quite the same. I will also tell you that if all of your interaction with him has come in one-on-one conversations, you may not know him as well as you think you do. Do you both participate in the same online forums or discussion boards? Do you have a good sense of how he interacts with other people? The more you know of how he relates to the rest of the world, the more accurate your picture of him will be.

To succeed in this transition, you will have to find a way to forget nearly everything that has passed between you and to let the friendship reboot nearly from scratch.

 

[kimuk]

You asked for some input from the other end of the see-saw.

First, second and always: a bdsm relationship is just like any other relationship. If you can't imagine being able to spend a boring afternoon with him for some reason, or if you think it might be difficult to find something to talk about that isn't related to sex, bdsm, or your sex life then it's worth re-thinking the whole enterprise.

Thought experiment: try to imagine spending several days with this person in which there will be, by mutual agreement, no sex. What will the two of you do? How will you amuse yourselves? What does this imagined picture tell you about the foundation of your friendship?

From either end of the see-saw, the emotional and physical risks are similar. You. Do. Not. Know. One. Another. Yet. Period. This means that there will be surprises, disappointments, nervous mistakes, and a lot of doubt. How you handle these together will tell you if the friendship has any chance of survival.

He is not who your dreams tell you he is. He may still be a fine and wonderful guy, but he is not the guy you imagine any more than you are the woman that he may be imagining.

Surviving the transition from online to in-person is all about beating back or letting go of all your imaginings about each other and letting the friendship reboot under its new, in-person, operating system.

I have been through this transition a few times and I can tell you that no two such events are ever quite the same. I will also tell you that if all of your interaction with him has come in one-on-one conversations, you may not know him as well as you think you do. Do you both participate in the same online forums or discussion boards? Do you have a good sense of how he interacts with other people? The more you know of how he relates to the rest of the world, the more accurate your picture of him will be.

To succeed in this transition, you will have to find a way to forget nearly everything that has passed between you and to let the friendship reboot nearly from scratch.

Thanks
i understand everything your saying. We can talk for an hour on the phone and it passes in a flash and no the content of our conversations is not always sexual. He has a wonderful sense of humour. We have an opt out clause. If either of us dosent feel any connection or we have nothing to say to each other then we have already agreed to call it a day.

I appriciate your advice so much.

Kim

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Thanks
i understand everything your saying. We can talk for an hour on the phone and it passes in a flash and no the content of our conversations is not always sexual. He has a wonderful sense of humour. We have an opt out clause. If either of us dosent feel any connection or we have nothing to say to each other then we have already agreed to call it a day.

I appriciate your advice so much.

Kim

That's a good deal to have, but on the flip side, don't call it a day too soon.

Yes, if something just feels off or wrong, trust your instincts. But if it's simply a lack of connection, then give it a little while for the nerves to settle, and see if that connection grows.

No matter how long you converse online etc for, meeting someone in the flesh is basically starting over, and you have to go into it as such.

 

[the captians wench]

Jounar stumbled upon my pic thread here and became a regular viewer of said pics. He posted some what frequently, and often we were posting at the same time of day. One day, durring some flirting on my thread, we pmed each other at the exact same time. *giggles* We both thought the other was answering our PM. That night we chatted on yahoo.

We chatted on yahoo a few weeks before we started playing on cam, well mostly me performing for him. Four months later, we realized we had a real connection and professed that to each other, 8 hours of video chat with voice.

It took another 3 years before I got to see him the first time. I woke up and loaded my van at 3am my time before going to work. I didn't reach him until 4pm his time the following day ( 11 am my time) It was a long trip. I called him as frequently as possible, and my mom, and posted here. Before each flight, and after landing in each place I called him (sent him an email when I got to Philly because it was too late to ring him), then called my mom, then sent an email/text out to all of my family/friends, then posted here.

I remember waking up half way over the atlantic ocean, the sun was just starting to rize and the water was dark with just a hint of deep reds and oranges creeping in, and I freaked out. I whispered franticlly to myself "WTF are you doing?" and scolding myself saying this was the single most stupid thing I had ever atempted. The whole episode last 3 minutes, and then I went back to sleep.

I got lost in the airport in London. I called him, misserable, cranky, hungry, tired, lost, scared, feeling all alone, and sobbing that I just wanted to go home. He chuckled a bit, told me everything would be fine and I'd see him in just a few more hours, there was no sense in turning back now. He made sense, so I took a deep breath, asked him to text my mom as my phone card nor my phone were working any longer, and ran to my next gate as I only had 10 minutes before boading time.

In Dublin they lost one of my bags, I was questioned (though admitedly not as much as in London) by customs as to why I was meeting him (next time I'm just giving "holiday" as my reason for visiting), still hungry, now in need of a shower, exhausted and very cranky. I didn't even stop in the ladies' room to brush my hair or change as I had planned to. I walked out into the public area and he found me before I saw him. He called my name, made his way to me, and took me into his arms. I looked up and he kissed me, just as he'd promised to. . . only, it took me 2 days before I realized he had done that. I was still teary, and now one bag short (the one with most of my clothes in it), and hungry.

I remember feeling very scared and out of place, but not with him. It was like we were in this bubble and the outside world didn't belong. He kept my hand in his, and I rested my head on him, as the taxi took us to where we'd stay for the next 9 days.

The whole time felt just like we'd always been. It was like I was visiting from the next town over, rather than 3500+ miles away. Like we'd known each other since the begining of time. It was a dream that got better each day.

But it had to end. That last day and night he kept me laughing. He never let me cry, even when I tried to hide it from him, he noticed, took me up and said "it's our last night, you shouldn't be crying, you should be fucking me." It made me chuckle and that's what we did before snuggling into each other for our last sleep together. We woke early, I started to iniciate sex again and he pulled me in close to his chest and just held me. We went onto the balcony and watched the sun rise over the mountains, he was fighting crying himself, but kept me occupied so I wouldn't, and maybe so I wouldn't notice how close he was.

I stalled as long as I could once we got to the airport. Convinced him that I had to eat as it would be 8 hours before I would have a chance again, after checking in. He walked me to my gate, as far as he could go anyway. I stopped, and snuggled into him as deep as I could burry my head, then looked up and kissed him, he held me tight, we kissed again. I looked down, and he looked down with me. I whispered "I need to go", and he whispered, "go on", but instead I hugged him tightly again and said "is it too late to stuff you in my bag?". He chuckled out a "yes", kissed the top of my head and sent me on my way.

As I cued up to enter the duity free zone I could feel his eyes on me. He'd managed to keep me from crying this far, I'd make him proud and not cry until well out of sight, but returning his gaze would tip me over. I said I wouldn't look. I promised myself I wouldn't look. I could still feel him watching me, and as I crossed the last point I'd be able to see him, I turned and looked, he caught me and put his head down and shuffled his feet a bit, and I knew he was breaking too.

The flight seemed longer going home, even though it was actually less travel time. I had a long layover in Philly this time, so I got to chat with him for a few hours via IM before boarding my flight home.

The next two months were very hard. I had a hard time adjusting to not having him sleeping beside me. I dove in and out of depression. It was hard, but I knew I had to push through. Life had to go on.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Jounar stumbled upon my pic thread here and became a regular viewer of said pics. He posted some what frequently, and often we were posting at the same time of day. One day, durring some flirting on my thread, we pmed each other at the exact same time. *giggles* We both thought the other was answering our PM. That night we chatted on yahoo.

We chatted on yahoo a few weeks before we started playing on cam, well mostly me performing for him. Four months later, we realized we had a real connection and professed that to each other, 8 hours of video chat with voice.

It took another 3 years before I got to see him the first time. I woke up and loaded my van at 3am my time before going to work. I didn't reach him until 4pm his time the following day ( 11 am my time) It was a long trip. I called him as frequently as possible, and my mom, and posted here. Before each flight, and after landing in each place I called him (sent him an email when I got to Philly because it was too late to ring him), then called my mom, then sent an email/text out to all of my family/friends, then posted here.

I remember waking up half way over the atlantic ocean, the sun was just starting to rize and the water was dark with just a hint of deep reds and oranges creeping in, and I freaked out. I whispered franticlly to myself "WTF are you doing?" and scolding myself saying this was the single most stupid thing I had ever atempted. The whole episode last 3 minutes, and then I went back to sleep.

I got lost in the airport in London. I called him, misserable, cranky, hungry, tired, lost, scared, feeling all alone, and sobbing that I just wanted to go home. He chuckled a bit, told me everything would be fine and I'd see him in just a few more hours, there was no sense in turning back now. He made sense, so I took a deep breath, asked him to text my mom as my phone card nor my phone were working any longer, and ran to my next gate as I only had 10 minutes before boading time.

In Dublin they lost one of my bags, I was questioned (though admitedly not as much as in London) by customs as to why I was meeting him (next time I'm just giving "holiday" as my reason for visiting), still hungry, now in need of a shower, exhausted and very cranky. I didn't even stop in the ladies' room to brush my hair or change as I had planned to. I walked out into the public area and he found me before I saw him. He called my name, made his way to me, and took me into his arms. I looked up and he kissed me, just as he'd promised to. . . only, it took me 2 days before I realized he had done that. I was still teary, and now one bag short (the one with most of my clothes in it), and hungry.

I remember feeling very scared and out of place, but not with him. It was like we were in this bubble and the outside world didn't belong. He kept my hand in his, and I rested my head on him, as the taxi took us to where we'd stay for the next 9 days.

The whole time felt just like we'd always been. It was like I was visiting from the next town over, rather than 3500+ miles away. Like we'd known each other since the begining of time. It was a dream that got better each day.

But it had to end. That last day and night he kept me laughing. He never let me cry, even when I tried to hide it from him, he noticed, took me up and said "it's our last night, you shouldn't be crying, you should be fucking me." It made me chuckle and that's what we did before snuggling into each other for our last sleep together. We woke early, I started to iniciate sex again and he pulled me in close to his chest and just held me. We went onto the balcony and watched the sun rise over the mountains, he was fighting crying himself, but kept me occupied so I wouldn't, and maybe so I wouldn't notice how close he was.

I stalled as long as I could once we got to the airport. Convinced him that I had to eat as it would be 8 hours before I would have a chance again, after checking in. He walked me to my gate, as far as he could go anyway. I stopped, and snuggled into him as deep as I could burry my head, then looked up and kissed him, he held me tight, we kissed again. I looked down, and he looked down with me. I whispered "I need to go", and he whispered, "go on", but instead I hugged him tightly again and said "is it too late to stuff you in my bag?". He chuckled out a "yes", kissed the top of my head and sent me on my way.

As I cued up to enter the duity free zone I could feel his eyes on me. He'd managed to keep me from crying this far, I'd make him proud and not cry until well out of sight, but returning his gaze would tip me over. I said I wouldn't look. I promised myself I wouldn't look. I could still feel him watching me, and as I crossed the last point I'd be able to see him, I turned and looked, he caught me and put his head down and shuffled his feet a bit, and I knew he was breaking too.

The flight seemed longer going home, even though it was actually less travel time. I had a long layover in Philly this time, so I got to chat with him for a few hours via IM before boarding my flight home.

The next two months were very hard. I had a hard time adjusting to not having him sleeping beside me. I dove in and out of depression. It was hard, but I knew I had to push through. Life had to go on.

Beautiful.

I know one day you will be in his arms again.

 

[kimuk]

That's a good deal to have, but on the flip side, don't call it a day too soon.

Yes, if something just feels off or wrong, trust your instincts. But if it's simply a lack of connection, then give it a little while for the nerves to settle, and see if that connection grows.

No matter how long you converse online etc for, meeting someone in the flesh is basically starting over, and you have to go into it as such.

yes I know its a totally new dimension. But I go to him with my eyes open. In realistic mode. And although it will be like starting over it we will have some fore knowlege of each other and that has to be an advantage?

 

[kimuk]

Jounar stumbled upon my pic thread here and became a regular viewer of said pics. He posted some what frequently, and often we were posting at the same time of day. One day, durring some flirting on my thread, we pmed each other at the exact same time. *giggles* We both thought the other was answering our PM. That night we chatted on yahoo.

We chatted on yahoo a few weeks before we started playing on cam, well mostly me performing for him. Four months later, we realized we had a real connection and professed that to each other, 8 hours of video chat with voice.

It took another 3 years before I got to see him the first time. I woke up and loaded my van at 3am my time before going to work. I didn't reach him until 4pm his time the following day ( 11 am my time) It was a long trip. I called him as frequently as possible, and my mom, and posted here. Before each flight, and after landing in each place I called him (sent him an email when I got to Philly because it was too late to ring him), then called my mom, then sent an email/text out to all of my family/friends, then posted here.

I remember waking up half way over the atlantic ocean, the sun was just starting to rize and the water was dark with just a hint of deep reds and oranges creeping in, and I freaked out. I whispered franticlly to myself "WTF are you doing?" and scolding myself saying this was the single most stupid thing I had ever atempted. The whole episode last 3 minutes, and then I went back to sleep.

I got lost in the airport in London. I called him, misserable, cranky, hungry, tired, lost, scared, feeling all alone, and sobbing that I just wanted to go home. He chuckled a bit, told me everything would be fine and I'd see him in just a few more hours, there was no sense in turning back now. He made sense, so I took a deep breath, asked him to text my mom as my phone card nor my phone were working any longer, and ran to my next gate as I only had 10 minutes before boading time.

In Dublin they lost one of my bags, I was questioned (though admitedly not as much as in London) by customs as to why I was meeting him (next time I'm just giving "holiday" as my reason for visiting), still hungry, now in need of a shower, exhausted and very cranky. I didn't even stop in the ladies' room to brush my hair or change as I had planned to. I walked out into the public area and he found me before I saw him. He called my name, made his way to me, and took me into his arms. I looked up and he kissed me, just as he'd promised to. . . only, it took me 2 days before I realized he had done that. I was still teary, and now one bag short (the one with most of my clothes in it), and hungry.

I remember feeling very scared and out of place, but not with him. It was like we were in this bubble and the outside world didn't belong. He kept my hand in his, and I rested my head on him, as the taxi took us to where we'd stay for the next 9 days.

The whole time felt just like we'd always been. It was like I was visiting from the next town over, rather than 3500+ miles away. Like we'd known each other since the begining of time. It was a dream that got better each day.

But it had to end. That last day and night he kept me laughing. He never let me cry, even when I tried to hide it from him, he noticed, took me up and said "it's our last night, you shouldn't be crying, you should be fucking me." It made me chuckle and that's what we did before snuggling into each other for our last sleep together. We woke early, I started to iniciate sex again and he pulled me in close to his chest and just held me. We went onto the balcony and watched the sun rise over the mountains, he was fighting crying himself, but kept me occupied so I wouldn't, and maybe so I wouldn't notice how close he was.

I stalled as long as I could once we got to the airport. Convinced him that I had to eat as it would be 8 hours before I would have a chance again, after checking in. He walked me to my gate, as far as he could go anyway. I stopped, and snuggled into him as deep as I could burry my head, then looked up and kissed him, he held me tight, we kissed again. I looked down, and he looked down with me. I whispered "I need to go", and he whispered, "go on", but instead I hugged him tightly again and said "is it too late to stuff you in my bag?". He chuckled out a "yes", kissed the top of my head and sent me on my way.

As I cued up to enter the duity free zone I could feel his eyes on me. He'd managed to keep me from crying this far, I'd make him proud and not cry until well out of sight, but returning his gaze would tip me over. I said I wouldn't look. I promised myself I wouldn't look. I could still feel him watching me, and as I crossed the last point I'd be able to see him, I turned and looked, he caught me and put his head down and shuffled his feet a bit, and I knew he was breaking too.

The flight seemed longer going home, even though it was actually less travel time. I had a long layover in Philly this time, so I got to chat with him for a few hours via IM before boarding my flight home.

The next two months were very hard. I had a hard time adjusting to not having him sleeping beside me. I dove in and out of depression. It was hard, but I knew I had to push through. Life had to go on.

Oh God ...thats beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
To feel like that about someone and live sooooooo far apart.
My heart goes out to you hunnie girl.
Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for sharing such a personal story.
x

 

[the captians wench]

Beautiful.

I know one day you will be in his arms again.

Oh God ...thats beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.
To feel like that about someone and live sooooooo far apart.
My heart goes out to you hunnie girl.
Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for sharing such a personal story.
x

Thank you.

He reminded me last night of how nervous I was. I'm terribly shy, and though I felt like I'd known him forever, I also felt awkward and well, like a virgin not knowing what to do. He had to tell me to sit and relax even though I was in total zombie mode by the time we got to the hotel.

It took a few hours, but we fell into place fully. We both remarked on how weird it felt that it didn't feel weird to be together. I mean we were both nervous but it was more like that teenage first date type nervous, or wedding night jitters, than any sort of odd off feeling.

We were lucky.

 

[kimuk]

I hope the out come for me is as good as it was for you.
He makes me smile.
He makes me feel good about myself.
he accepts me sexually
He understands if my past means I cant obey him because it rakes up old stuff
Hes a kind, sexy, inrelligent , thoughtful man and I long to be in his arms and feel his hands on me. I want his kisses, I want everything we have talked about. I want to be his for a brief moment in time and give him as much pleasure as he gives me
everyday

 

[biffothebear]

So we have chatted for hours on line. We text each other until our fingers ache. We find time to talk on the phone as often as we can. We play on cam. He instructs me. I obey. We reveal our sercets. Discuss our fetishes. Tell each other things we have never divulged to anyone else.

And now its time to cross the line.

To move our "relationship" from on line to real life.

How was it for you?

When you made the transition? Awkward ? Perfect?

Did he feel like someone who were destined to meet or a stranger with which there was no connection?

The most amazing experiance of your life?

Or your biggest regret?

Share the story here of how you crossed the line.......how the D/s fantasy became your reality.

Prepare me for when I leave the virtual world and enter the flesh and blood one.

Kim

I'm the luck guy who is off to meet this wonderful lady. She is funny, intelligent, sexy and I feel very lucky to know her. She brightens even the dullest of days and time flies when I talk with her.

It's breaking new ground for both of us and I think were as nervous as one another. We've arranged to meet in a very public place first for a coffee so we can break the ice and hopefully calm our respective nerves before moving on to neutral territory (a busy hotel) for well, I'm sure you'll be able to work that out! We have an opt-out clause and either of us can walk away if it doesn't feel right. I'm very pleased she decided to seek advice on here about the does and don'ts of first meetings: I want her to feel safe and know she will be. We have talked at length about what we want and agreed everything beforehand and I want it to be a fabulous day for her.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I'm the luck guy who is off to meet this wonderful lady. She is funny, intelligent, sexy and I feel very lucky to know her. She brightens even the dullest of days and time flies when I talk with her.

It's breaking new ground for both of us and I think were as nervous as one another. We've arranged to meet in a very public place first for a coffee so we can break the ice and hopefully calm our respective nerves before moving on to neutral territory (a busy hotel) for well, I'm sure you'll be able to work that out! We have an opt-out clause and either of us can walk away if it doesn't feel right. I'm very pleased she decided to seek advice on here about the does and don'ts of first meetings: I want her to feel safe and know she will be. We have talked at length about what we want and agreed everything beforehand and I want it to be a fabulous day for her.

It should be a wonderful day for both of you. I wish you both luck.

And kim I havent forgotten you, just not had the peace I want to concentrate lol.

 

[Babyslave]

Wished I'd listened...

I think it was good that we didn't spend weeks and months talking online. That way we didn't have any big D/s fantasies built up, that could come crashing down. Things just started to evolve naturally when we did meet; they evolved fast, but everything's worked out better than great.

I hope to see you come back deliriously giddy after your first meeting, though!

Exactly right, NOT to build up the meeting to an unattainable level.

I should have known better. Listened more, trusted less. Instead sharing everything that we could have, and be and do, together. BIG Mistake. Because, as I have realized, in the most excruciating manner, sometimes things happen and the meeting never takes place. To share everything, and I mean everything with someone to whom you will experience the highest of highs with to have it disappear in the blink of an eye? Leaves one more bereft than anyone can imagine. To realize that this mutual need, matching desires that would be nothing but good, and real, and true, were nothing but an amusement, a lark, is more than heartbreaking; it's soul-breaking. No longer who you once were, not allowed to be who you could be, should be.

I never thought I'd have to live my life as a pyl vicariously, I thought I could have it for myself. I know it could have been soooo darn awesome. Sigh.

Gosh. I'm sorry. Happy for you and yours, wishing you the best of everything.