Are male Subs disposable?

[LittleMissLandmine]

I am sorry to read all that happened to you. I think it’s not just that male subs are treated as disposable. *People* are treated as disposable online. Not always, but often. We pour ourselves into these relationships but they aren’t fundamentally solid; some are, of course, but many are not. Wishing you much healing.

 

[artslut86]

A recent experience.
Obviously there are way more dick littles fembois, needy, sissies , cds, you name it males out there than are female Dommes to cater to. Even pay to play.

My Domme of 2.5 to 3 yrs just bailed on me.
There were reasons.
Sure.
But as a alpha type in real world rejection after the deep programming, promises, claiming etc. Feels like that was just the game all along.

Was i easy no?
Did we have bumps fuck yeah
But my domme never let me connect. It was always me trusting her wisdom
...... which was usually spot on. OR just highly manipulative and c%^ty. ???

Im kind of stunned. April 2022 to now on and off... I went from Vanilla to hours of pain, months of denial dozens of edges, passive milking... now to nothing. And I enjoyed it all, learned to trust, to let go of my needs, and focus on her wants.
No options.
No choices.
No help deprogramming [ I find it hard to cum let alone think, unless words are spoken... ] im lost, I don't know what I could do better or more or less of.
Daily im lost i can't focus. I can't be in my real world. I check our chat hourly. I ponder i pine. I'd accept changed cadence, changed rules...anything.

EDIT: A parting chat I get called out for 'outburst' instead of communicating...sigh. When I explain, I did get apologies, I dunno I just felt like if id spent so much time online with her [no fees] that what we did would matter. instead I feel like an Instagram feed that just got un subscribed. any way fuck it.

This is all according to her 'life' . I get it we did that dec Jan when she ghosted, for then valid reasons.

The thing that irks that hurt is the coldness the dismissal the qualified apologies. So abrupt, hence the title, disposable.
I so want to hate her and throat punch.

I need her voice in my ear to say her special secret words.
To deny me
Control me.
Redefine me.

This may take awhile. I think part of it was we were building up to a week of 24/7 play. It was 4 month plus since I cam and daily tasks all caged and the last two weeks on ED daily.dose pills while caged.
Intensity. The poof.
How do I fix that.
I feel like a fool and a fucking patsy on the dial.

An UPDATE.
I finally had a voice chat with the D.
There were some good facts and feelings shared.
And I will say that once again, it is kinda my fault. I have issues with trust, but worse - communication. COmmunicating with Boards, CEO's VPs, Wives...up and down the food chain. Im a flawed person.

Apparently my reactions and outbursts were taken at a time when my D had low tolerance for my b.s. She als0 shared more about how SHE is wired.
Much of the rest of the conversation really was about how I need to do better, but how she really is too busy to heavily manage me daily.

I caved like a wet blanked. 'so you do want me to be your boy?' LOL... pulling that out of her was hard.
We agreed that if I could self regulate she would try to plan a playdate monthly or every few months. But there would need to be some new boundaries around what im allowed to do.

I told her I just want to sit in the headspace of needing to please her and not cum & wanting to cum. I want to live in denial of my body enforced by her.

'Good boy, That is how and what I made you to be.'

So we will see how this new chapter evolves. Words and communication matter. I suck at the text thing. I am going to work on manage and sharing my emotions more effectively. She will work on making time to task me to a level we both feel fits our needs.

It was her suggestion, I get on here once we suspended and stopped the dynamic to get some support. ALL of you have been fab. I know there are many flaws in the dynamic we have, I know its not perfect. It is what I know, she did indeed build me, or rebuild me after breaking me down and making me into her toy.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Communication is key in all relationships, BDSM and vanilla. I’m glad you’re in a good place and hope you keep talking

 

[AnnieLit]

I am glad you got back together and got some sort of answers.

But... Be careful. Bottle those feelings you had when you thought she was gone for good and take a little sip every now and then when you get too cozy. Letting it go completely, feeling that you belong to someone forever and ever is the best headspace to be in, but it is not real. At least not online. So, try to keep a little bit of you for yourself so when she leaves again (and yes, eventually she will) you are not completely crushed.

If she is reading this, she is not going to be too happy about it, but so what. She can mindfuck you as much as she like and you will love every moment of it, but if she doesn't follow the basic safety rules and thinks that she is above them, it is on you to take precautions.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

No one is disposable.