Respecting All Subbies

[unowned_subby]

Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it? The problem with many people is that they don't respect Submissives.

For example, i have recieved extremely rude Pm's. Dominant males that assume that just because I am Submissive, I want to be treated like crap. This is not true to any extent.

A Submissive is someone who wishes to be controlled yes, but that does not mean that they want to be treated as less than human. People don't seem to realize that a Submissive such as myself can have a perfectly valid opinion. That we are intelligent thinking beings.

Granted, not everyone is derogatory, and that not all Dominants are condesending. My issue is with the many who refuse to believe that a Submissive can be themselves and still have a personality.

Feel free to comment any way you wish. All that I ask is that you do not attack other's opinions with your own. Remember that everyone's feelings and opinions are valid.

Respect each other, and learn from each other like adults.

 

[catalina_francisco]

My guess is they aren't Dominants.

Catalina

 

[MasterKinker]

I agree Dom's need to have some tact espeacially when they are trying to get the sub to be their sub, and when they are trying to gain their trust.

 

[unowned_subby]

The reason I posted this is that I have encountered this repeatedly. I don't believe that they should say that they are Dominants, when they refuse to be respectful of the Submissive's opinion and feelings.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The reason I posted this is that I have encountered this repeatedly. I don't believe that they should say that they are Dominants, when they refuse to be respectful of the Submissive's opinion and feelings.

Well the thing is they can say anything they want, right down to describing themselves as purple with yellow spots. What you do with that is then your responsibility. Perhaps it is more a clash of ideals or what you eaach expect of the relationship, or perhaps as I said, they are not Dominants and just amusing themselves.

Catalina

 

[eastern sun]

I think a lot of people are role-playing an idea called "Dominant."

Some of them are doing it because they think it's what they are supposed to do. Some of them are doing it because it's a handy excuse to insult people and act like a jerk in an anonymous setting. And some are doing it to take the piss out of you for some reason or another.

Very few of the dominants I've met are disrespectful towards a submissive's opinions and feelings, so I think you're encountering a phenomenon peculiar to the internet personals.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The reason I posted this is that I have encountered this repeatedly. I don't believe that they should say that they are Dominants, when they refuse to be respectful of the Submissive's opinion and feelings.

Allow me to offer you a soundbite response that you can copy and paste each time you get one of these guys;

*ahem*

My dear sir, who the fuck do you think you're fooling?

(If you wish to be less abrasive you can reword the "who the fuck" part)

 

[MasterKinker]

I think a lot of people are role-playing an idea called "Dominant."

Some of them are doing it because they think it's what they are supposed to do. Some of them are doing it because it's a handy excuse to insult people and act like a jerk in an anonymous setting. And some are doing it to take the piss out of you for some reason or another.

Very few of the dominants I've met are disrespectful towards a submissive's opinions and feelings, so I think you're encountering a phenomenon peculiar to the internet personals.

Haha forgive my bluntness... but have you seen the personal's section? Cause almost all of the replies to sub posts are "I am a Dominant hear me roar" or something along that line. I'll give you that all the intelligent Doms don't start out that way, but there are quite a few who think in order to get a sub's response they need to act that way.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Haha forgive my bluntness... but have you seen the personal's section? Cause almost all of the replies to sub posts are "I am a Dominant hear me roar" or something along that line. I'll give you that all the intelligent Doms don't start out that way, but there are quite a few who think in order to get a sub's response they need to act that way.

But I bet you're smarter than that, right?

 

[MasterKinker]

But I bet you're smarter than that, right?

No matter how I try to defend myself I just sound like an ass so I'll just let you think you made a smart remark, so good on you.

 

[eastern sun]

Haha forgive my bluntness... but have you seen the personal's section? Cause almost all of the replies to sub posts are "I am a Dominant hear me roar" or something along that line. I'll give you that all the intelligent Doms don't start out that way, but there are quite a few who think in order to get a sub's response they need to act that way.

That is precisely what I'm referring to.

 

[MasterKinker]

That is precisely what I'm referring to.

Aww okay... I think I misread your post.

 

[Stella_Omega]

No matter how I try to defend myself I just sound like an ass so I'll just let you think you made a smart remark, so good on you.

Darn, I was hoping you could say "yes."

All those guys, you see-- roaring-- all they are doing is reacting to each other. The smart Dom speaks directly to the sub, ignoring the ruckus behind him.

 

[midwestyankee]

Not to put too fine a point on the matter, but I would think it a reasonable first step toward respect would be to refrain from using a dismissive term like "subbie" in one's discourse when discussing submissive men and women.

 

[golfdude776]

Ok just my 2 cents.... Doms are only Doms because a sub is willing to submit to them, that being said the trust is given to the Dom and thus the sub holds some level of power and needs to be respected ... just saying

 

[CutieMouse]

Not to put too fine a point on the matter, but I would think it a reasonable first step toward respect would be to refrain from using a dismissive term like "subbie" in one's discourse when discussing submissive men and women.

That was my first thought, as well.

 

[midwestyankee]

That was my first thought, as well.

GMTA

 

[unowned_subby]

Not to put too fine a point on the matter, but I would think it a reasonable first step toward respect would be to refrain from using a dismissive term like "subbie" in one's discourse when discussing submissive men and women.

Its how I refer to myself and as you'll see in the actual thread, I use the word Submissive.

 

[unowned_subby]

Also, Subby/Subbies is about as derogatory as Dom/Domme. Its a shortening of the word being used (Submissive and Dominant) so I see no reason for anyone to find it offensive.

 

[CutieMouse]

Also, Subby/Subbies is about as derogatory as Dom/Domme. Its a shortening of the word being used (Submissive and Dominant) so I see no reason for anyone to find it offensive.

So it's okay for you to be offended at the way dominant men address/approach you ("treat you like crap"), but it's not okay for other submissive people to be offended by the slang term "subbies"?

Somewhere out there, there is a person claiming to be submissive, looking for hot and nasty cyber-sex, who thinks being "treated like crap" by some random asshat online is the sexiest thing evar. It has to work at least some percentage of the time, else there wouldn't be so many Horney Net Geeks [HNGs] utilizing the approach.

So what you think is rude, crass, offensive, horrible, blahblahblah... is happy kinky D/s for someone out there. Kinda like how what you think is a perfectly acceptable term - "subbie" - offends some people and sets their teeth on edge.

Just a thought...

 

[Cthulhu1138]

My two cents would be that the best way to describe the involved parties would be "strong" and "submissive."

Some people--on both sides--seem to be overcompensating for issues unrelated to the matter at hand (please note, this is not directed at y'all, but rather all the chest-thumpers elsewhere)

 

[unowned_subby]

So it's okay for you to be offended at the way dominant men address/approach you ("treat you like crap"), but it's not okay for other submissive people to be offended by the slang term "subbies"?

Somewhere out there, there is a person claiming to be submissive, looking for hot and nasty cyber-sex, who thinks being "treated like crap" by some random asshat online is the sexiest thing evar. It has to work at least some percentage of the time, else there wouldn't be so many Horney Net Geeks [HNGs] utilizing the approach.

So what you think is rude, crass, offensive, horrible, blahblahblah... is happy kinky D/s for someone out there. Kinda like how what you think is a perfectly acceptable term - "subbie" - offends some people and sets their teeth on edge.

Just a thought...

Though it may be horny and kinky for some, it is not polite to assume all accept and enjoy derogatory terms.

I used Subbies because it was a shorter word and because its generally used. I did not mean offense, but at the same time it DID make you look at and read my thread even if it was to comment scornfully.

I may say yet again that I use Submissive and Dominant in the thread itself. The title is to draw attention while the thread itself is to get the point across.

Food for thought.

 

[unowned_subby]

My two cents would be that the best way to describe the involved parties would be "strong" and "submissive."

Some people--on both sides--seem to be overcompensating for issues unrelated to the matter at hand (please note, this is not directed at y'all, but rather all the chest-thumpers elsewhere)

AHEM.. I do not speak for other Submissives, but I for one am a strong young woman. I need (not a weakness but a personal preference) to be Dominated and controlled as well.

 

[CutieMouse]

Though it may be horny and kinky for some, it is not polite to assume all accept and enjoy derogatory terms.

I used Subbies because it was a shorter word and because its generally used. I did not mean offense, but at the same time it DID make you look at and read my thread even if it was to comment scornfully.

I may say yet again that I use Submissive and Dominant in the thread itself. The title is to draw attention while the thread itself is to get the point across.

Food for thought.

[hijack]

First impressions and all that;
I'd have taken the thread more seriously and responded differently (more respectfully), had it not been for the "subbie" thing in the title.

Your thread is complaining about the same thing people have been complaining about for years - that online idiots/HNGs/asshats are idiots/HNGs/asshats. There's even a thread that's been going for 6 years now making fun of rude little twits who approach submissive women in a less than respectful manner.

[/hijack]

 

[unowned_subby]

Its not a hijack if its on topic At least we're civil now (not a barb)