Respecting All Subbies

[JamieJ424]

This.

I gotta say, I don't respect all subbies, nor do I respect all dommies.

I respect the people who have proven themselves respect-worthy.

 

[enrapturedmoon]

I get PMs like that and I tell them to go fuck themselves. Preferably after I've fucked their faces with my big hard cock.

I tend to answer in a similiar manner with those who want to show me their "huge hard cock as I stroke it" on cam. I always resond "yes sure, as long as I can show you mine as I stroke it for you". Seems to make them go away a lot though. Damnned if I know why.

 

[neci]

Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it? The problem with many people is that they don't respect Submissives.

For example, i have received extremely rude Pm's. Dominant males that assume that just because I am Submissive, I want to be treated like crap. This is not true to any extent.

A Submissive is someone who wishes to be controlled yes, but that does not mean that they want to be treated as less than human. People don't seem to realize that a Submissive such as myself can have a perfectly valid opinion. That we are intelligent thinking beings.

Granted, not everyone is derogatory, and that not all Dominants are condesending. My issue is with the many who refuse to believe that a Submissive can be themselves and still have a personality.

Feel free to comment any way you wish. All that I ask is that you do not attack other's opinions with your own. Remember that everyone's feelings and opinions are valid.

Respect each other, and learn from each other like adults.

think less. suck more cock.

it's all about respect and learning.

remember that everyone's cock has feelings and opinions, no matter how abrasive they are.

on a serious note, when i get unwanted pm's, i normally try to let the person know first what my personal limits are. for the most part i politely decline. if i've never posted with them before, i may just not respond. if they persist in being an ass, then it's gonna get slapped. a lot of men going around sticking their cock into every box, trying to get a bite. it's nothing unique to being a subbie. it has to do with having three holes.

 

[enrapturedmoon]

delete

 

[welkin]

To the original post.

Be thankful these people are showing you so plainly they are NOT for you.

This. I secretly enjoy it, and hope that those [expletives] never learn respect and civility. Otherwise I'd have to spend time to get to know them before finding out what they are inside!

 

[Aurantica]

Agreed.

Respect is earned, not innately deserved or taken.

That said, the easiest and fastest way to begin earning respect, is to show it.

I agree. Respect is also not supposed to be one-sided.

 

[ImOnIt]

a lot of men going around sticking their cock into every box, trying to get a bite

A box with teeth!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Agreed.

Respect is earned, not innately deserved or taken.

That said, the easiest and fastest way to begin earning respect, is to show it.

One can always start with self-respect.

 

[where]

I tend to answer in a similiar manner with those who want to show me their "huge hard cock as I stroke it" on cam. I always resond "yes sure, as long as I can show you mine as I stroke it for you". Seems to make them go away a lot though. Damnned if I know why.

yeah, But I actually DO want to fuck their faces with my big hard cock!

 

[pornxtv]

Bdsm

fuck all hole

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oof!

Was that supposed to be some sorta jab?

it felt more like a right hook.

No,no,no... I meant-- if I can't immediately respect someone, I can respect myself untill such time as that person shows themselves to be respect-worthy. meaning I don't belittle an unknown person right off the bat.

 

[Etoile]

Also, Subby/Subbies is about as derogatory as Dom/Domme. Its a shortening of the word being used (Submissive and Dominant) so I see no reason for anyone to find it offensive.

I'm a little late, but...no.

The word "subbies" is a diminutive, not just a shortening. The counterpart to Dom is sub - it's adding the second syllable that turns it into a word many of us find ridiculous.

 

[kimuk]

Can't say I have had this problem. Every Dominant I have had a conversation with here has been polite, respectful and helpful.

I know there are men here who who the submissive lebel as wank fodda ...i guess i have just been lucky not to encounter it

 

[janeyruth]

Or just wanks...

 

[Adakgirl]

It may be your "unowned subbie" nic that is attracting that kind of attention. Unless you have an add in the BDSM personals, do you? If you do then you need to realize that you will have to run the gauntlet of pretend dickhead dominants for quite a long time before you get an unrequested PM from a non-pretend one. If you ever get one at all.

Most Dominants who randomly PM submissive women on here are the pretend kind.

 

[CrowdedStranger]

This is why I have never fully submitted. Rude and Stupid are big turnoffs

 

[Etoile]

This is why I have never fully submitted. Rude and Stupid are big turnoffs

There's a whole lot of potential for elaboration here, like why the use of the word "fully" and the question of what you would do if you DID meet the right guy who wasn't rude and stupid, would you fully submit? I'm curious to hear more.

 

[welkin]

There's a whole lot of potential for elaboration here, like why the use of the word "fully" and the question of what you would do if you DID meet the right guy who wasn't rude and stupid, would you fully submit? I'm curious to hear more.

I have the same question... If they are rude and stupid, wouldn't you not submit at all?

 

[hotnessa]

AHEM.. I do not speak for other Submissives, but I for one am a strong young woman. I need (not a weakness but a personal preference) to be Dominated and controlled as well.

I hear you. I am also a strong woman who has to take charge and be controlling in my professional life. I need (and desire as a personal preference) to be Dominated and controlled in my personal life to achieve balance. Still learning about being a Submissive but it seems to me it involves respect and trust. . .

 

[Homburg]

I gotta say, I don't respect all subbies, nor do I respect all dommies.

I respect the people who have proven themselves respect-worthy.

My attitude towards the whole thing is that there is no need for me to care whether someone is dominant or submission or whatever unless I am in a relationship with them. Barring that, those are just character traits like "chatty" or "no sense of humour". As a result, my default setting at first introduction is the same sort of respect for a fellow (assumed) sentient as I offer to anyone.

Beyond that, it is the other party who has the burden of proof as to whether that respect is extended or discontinued.

It can get interesting at the (very) few play parties and socials that I attend because I flat refuse to differentiate between dominant and submissive people based on what they wear or project. They're just people, and I'll speak to whomever, in whatever order I choose. Though, honestly, I've never gotten a truly negative response out of anyone. Most people just find my behaviour polite. Gee, I wonder why.

As to the rude ones that send asshat unsolicited PM's, just imagine them as little dicked wankers looking so veryshocked as you hit the delete key. It's probably not all that far from the truth.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The people I've met who tried to enforce hierarchy have been newbie subs or else male DOMINANT DOMS in the het scene-- The kind who introduce themselves in public as "The Trapper" and "Count De Sade". And they do get shot down pretty quickly by other doms with less to hide and more to enjoy.

There was that one very old-timer out of the leather scene-- and that was only while he was drunk and maudlin.

 

[Ladybugsjoy]

I've noticed people on here can be very rude. I am very much a control freak in my normal life. What I do, when I do, where I do, how I do.. everything in my life I control. The one place that I like to give up control is in sex.. if I'm not in the mood I want him to force the initiation and physically with his body restrain me. That's how *I* like being submissive, it's a big turn on and I get very hot and passionate and loving that way. I do NOT like the whole humiliation, degrading etc type of dom/sub relationship. I posted things today about that even specifying that but still had people PMing me and in the FIRST message calling me a slut. I'm sorry... but I like my dom/sub type relationship to be a loving cuddling when we're done fucking type of relationship, not one where I'm called a bitch or slut etc. Why are there so many Dom's on here that assume that everyone likes that? I like flirting a lot on here and would MUCH rather someone say "what kind of submissive are you? What do YOU like?" I cannot and will not be forced to be the kind of sub they want, but they just assume right off the bat that that is ok. I'm glad they're doing it online at least where I can just delete... in person I would deck someone who said that to me that didn't know me! LOL! A Dom must remember that in order for them to be a Dom to a Sub that the Sub must give permission for that kind of relationship to exist in the first place. That is a respect that must be earn and not abused otherwise it just cannot last since both parties will never really be happy. (of course except those who like verbal abuse right off the bat ;-)

 

[sterculius]

Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it? The problem with many people is that they don't respect Submissives.

For example, i have recieved extremely rude Pm's. Dominant males that assume that just because I am Submissive, I want to be treated like crap. This is not true to any extent.

A Submissive is someone who wishes to be controlled yes, but that does not mean that they want to be treated as less than human. People don't seem to realize that a Submissive such as myself can have a perfectly valid opinion. That we are intelligent thinking beings.

Granted, not everyone is derogatory, and that not all Dominants are condesending. My issue is with the many who refuse to believe that a Submissive can be themselves and still have a personality.

Feel free to comment any way you wish. All that I ask is that you do not attack other's opinions with your own. Remember that everyone's feelings and opinions are valid.

Respect each other, and learn from each other like adults.

I agree!! I'm a guy who LOVES being very aggressively throat fucked! I enjoy being the focus and the beneficiary of all that unbridled erotic energy. I like becoming submissive and I'm proud of my cocksucking skills and of my ability to engage in and absorb this form of rough sex, but I DON'T want to be denigrated or humiliated in the process. I can't understand the need that other cocksuckers seem to have to be insulted and be made to feel inferior to those they service. I enjoy being USED, but not ABUSED!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've noticed people on here can be very rude. I am very much a control freak in my normal life. What I do, when I do, where I do, how I do.. everything in my life I control. The one place that I like to give up control is in sex.. if I'm not in the mood I want him to force the initiation and physically with his body restrain me. That's how *I* like being submissive, it's a big turn on and I get very hot and passionate and loving that way. I do NOT like the whole humiliation, degrading etc type of dom/sub relationship. I posted things today about that even specifying that but still had people PMing me and in the FIRST message calling me a slut. I'm sorry... but I like my dom/sub type relationship to be a loving cuddling when we're done fucking type of relationship, not one where I'm called a bitch or slut etc. Why are there so many Dom's on here that assume that everyone likes that? I like flirting a lot on here and would MUCH rather someone say "what kind of submissive are you? What do YOU like?" I cannot and will not be forced to be the kind of sub they want, but they just assume right off the bat that that is ok. I'm glad they're doing it online at least where I can just delete... in person I would deck someone who said that to me that didn't know me! LOL! A Dom must remember that in order for them to be a Dom to a Sub that the Sub must give permission for that kind of relationship to exist in the first place. That is a respect that must be earn and not abused otherwise it just cannot last since both parties will never really be happy. (of course except those who like verbal abuse right off the bat ;-)

They've watched waaaay too much bad porn.

 

[Ladybugsjoy]

They've watched waaaay too much bad porn.

I just had to laugh at that... but it's probably true.