Respecting All Subbies

[slavebitch]

So it's okay for you to be offended at the way dominant men address/approach you ("treat you like crap"), but it's not okay for other submissive people to be offended by the slang term "subbies"?

Somewhere out there, there is a person claiming to be submissive, looking for hot and nasty cyber-sex, who thinks being "treated like crap" by some random asshat online is the sexiest thing evar. It has to work at least some percentage of the time, else there wouldn't be so many Horney Net Geeks [HNGs] utilizing the approach.

So what you think is rude, crass, offensive, horrible, blahblahblah... is happy kinky D/s for someone out there. Kinda like how what you think is a perfectly acceptable term - "subbie" - offends some people and sets their teeth on edge.

Just a thought...

Okay, this is totally and completely random, but your comment reminded me of something my teacher once said that I love and so I felt compelled to share it.

"Insecure people tend to be the biggest asshats."


I probably thought of it because of your use of the word asshat, which I had never heard before my teacher said that and not again until now, but yeah.

Okay, my rambling is over.

 

[J D Danger]

Ok just my 2 cents.... Doms are only Doms because a sub is willing to submit to them, that being said the trust is given to the Dom and thus the sub holds some level of power and needs to be respected ... just saying

well said..so simple and yet so true

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Not to put too fine a point on the matter, but I would think it a reasonable first step toward respect would be to refrain from using a dismissive term like "subbie" in one's discourse when discussing submissive men and women.

Oh dear, I agree whole heartedly.

But it really doesn't help when the "subbies" are also referring to each other as such. Or sis. *shudders*

 

[seela]

Oh dear, I agree whole heartedly.

But it really doesn't help when the "subbies" are also referring to each other as such. Or sis. *shudders*

Oh yeah, what's with the subbie sis thing people insist on doing? It goes straight in the same category of weirdness as these Lit families some people have on their sig. A friend is a friend is a friend.

On topic, I tend to steer away from all people who don't treat others respectfully, no matter what their self-proclaimed title might me. Common courtesy goes a long way in human interaction.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Oh yeah, what's with the subbie sis thing people insist on doing? It goes straight in the same category of weirdness as these Lit families some people have on their sig. A friend is a friend is a friend.

On topic, I tend to steer away from all people who don't treat others respectfully, no matter what their self-proclaimed title might me. Common courtesy goes a long way in human interaction.

I'm assuming they think there's some sort of kinship in being submissive. Like we joined a sorority. If so, I missed out on getting my decoder ring.

 

[seela]

I'm assuming they think there's some sort of kinship in being submissive. Like we joined a sorority. If so, I missed out on getting my decoder ring.

Aww, I have never felt so left out in my entire life.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Aww, I have never felt so left out in my entire life.

I know. It's distressing.

 

[unowned_subby]

I'm assuming they think there's some sort of kinship in being submissive. Like we joined a sorority. If so, I missed out on getting my decoder ring.

You had to send in five boxtops from Submissive's Cereal to get it

 

[YourCaptor]

But I can't respect auto-submission!!!!!

I must earn it! I so desperately want to earn it!! How can she have any personality if I don't earn it?

 

[YourCaptor]

"I am a Dominant hear me roar"

I do that

"subbie"

and that

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

You had to send in five boxtops from Submissive's Cereal to get it

There's my problem. I don't eat cereal.

 

[unowned_subby]

There's my problem. I don't eat cereal.

*hugs* its ok. we can have a giggly sleep over and we'll share mine *hands you an invisible decoder ring to play with*

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

There's a decoder ring!?

If I denounce switchiness can I still get one?

Seriously though, there can be kinship where ever it is mutually fostered. Having an interest of some kind in common is the basis for many friendships, but I can certainly understand the annoyance when someone's behaviour looks like; "oh you like being spanked too!? That makes us instant BFF's!"

as for the term subbie, I see it used a lot as a generic term of endearment for that very "sorrority," more that for any individual, though I do remember it being used to refer to me a few times while I was in such a relationship.

I don't know about getting rid of it, so much as examining your own usage, or if possible, discussing a target audience's perception of it, before throwing it around carelessly.

Re: B1: Yes that's exactly what it feels like sometimes.

Re: B2: That there, is probably why I have such an issue with it. I hate, hate, hate randoms addressing me using endearments. The only person who gets away with it is the elderly Italian lady at my greengrocer. I *especially* hate it when so called Dominants do it in an entirely condescending way.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Carrots first. Sticks come later.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Carrots first. Sticks come later.

But I want the stick now, Mr Rosco. Please?

 

[rosco rathbone]

But I want the stick now, Mr Rosco. Please?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

What if I promise to eat all my carrots?

 

[midwestyankee]

I do that



and that

My point exactly.

 

[where]

Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it? The problem with many people is that they don't respect Submissives.

For example, i have recieved extremely rude Pm's. Dominant males that assume that just because I am Submissive, I want to be treated like crap. This is not true to any extent.

A Submissive is someone who wishes to be controlled yes, but that does not mean that they want to be treated as less than human. People don't seem to realize that a Submissive such as myself can have a perfectly valid opinion. That we are intelligent thinking beings.

Granted, not everyone is derogatory, and that not all Dominants are condesending. My issue is with the many who refuse to believe that a Submissive can be themselves and still have a personality.

Feel free to comment any way you wish. All that I ask is that you do not attack other's opinions with your own. Remember that everyone's feelings and opinions are valid.

Respect each other, and learn from each other like adults.

I get PMs like that and I tell them to go fuck themselves. Preferably after I've fucked their faces with my big hard cock.

 

[FurryFury]

To the original post.

Be thankful these people are showing you so plainly they are NOT for you.

Re: Subbies, subby and so on.

That term doesn't bother me but Sissy's does. Also "Mama" on certain boards really makes me flinch. I don't "identify" as a "Sissy" or "Mama" to anyone but on those boards, I understand the main streamers there consider it showing some sort of strange solidarity. So I say nothing and try to relax my jaw.

Other terms on the internet that I find difficult to appreciate include but are not limited to:

DH
DS
DD
DSIL
DDIL
DSS
DSD

and

"Love making" also in person this is not a term I enjoy.

In all these cases I don't take offense for they know not how saccharine sweet and false they sound to my admittedly jaded, ears, eyes and mind.

 

[neci]

testing the waters

if that doesn't work, the smart ones will come back with better alts.

 

[FurryFury]

testing the waters

if that doesn't work, the smart ones will come back with better alts.

LOL

So true.

FF

 

[midwestyankee]

testing the waters

if that doesn't work, the smart ones will come back with better alts.

Why did you come to Casablanca, Rick?

For the waters.

There is no water in Casablanca, Rick.

I was misinformed.


Rick should have tested the waters. But then he never would have spent an evening at gunpoint with Ingrid Bergman.

 

[Netzach]

Delete button is everyone's friend.

If you are shocked that horny people are stupid in PM's welcome to the internet.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I gotta say, I don't respect all subbies, nor do I respect all dommies.

I respect the people who have proven themselves respect-worthy.