Reinforcement

[YourCaptor]

We all know you punish em black and blue, but what do you do to reinforce good behavior?

And don't give me any of that my punishment is my reward mushy stuff.

 

[switchbitch]

We all know you punish em black and blue, but what do you do to reinforce good behavior?

And don't give me any of that my punishment is my reward mushy stuff.

What do I give a sub for good behviour?Thats kinda easy.The pleasure of the senses to excess!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Signs of his love. I mean, I know he loves me, even when I've been a shit, but when I've been good, he'll hold me, kiss me, touch me gently, and tell me I've been good and that he loves me. And that means the world to me.

Also, sometimes I get prizes. Material things that he knows I would like, but can't really afford for myself.

 

[Vixandra]

Chocolate?

Noticing that they did good, pointing it out and doing something you know they love to do, even if its not your favorite thing.

 

[ownedsubgal]

why would good behavior need to be reinforced? i mean, if someone actually wants you and wants to be there in the first place...don't they kinda naturally just want to be good?

 

[BiBunny]

why would good behavior need to be reinforced? i mean, if someone actually wants you and wants to be there in the first place...don't they kinda naturally just want to be good?

Yep, but if you're an attention whore like me, it's nice to be noticed.

Things that work for me: I like to be petted. A lot. I like snuggles and kisses. And if I'm really lucky, someone might hand-feed me, but that doesn't happen very often.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Yep, but if you're an attention whore like me, it's nice to be noticed.

Yup.

It's the eating of the cake, really. Or the icing on it. Whichever colloqualism you want to use.

 

[ecstaticsub]

My reward is him being in a good mood. When I am not on my best behavior he is grouchy and difficult. Life is easier and more positive for me when I obey and make his life easier.

I also get extra attention

 

[00Syd]

For me: Scritches and lots of face-touching and hair petting.

 

[sardoniclaugh]

We all know you punish em black and blue, but what do you do to reinforce good behavior?

And don't give me any of that my punishment is my reward mushy stuff.

For a masochist, punishment IS a reward. A punishment has to be something different, usually lack of attention. Which really means there have to be two sets of rules.

There's the "this is a fake rule that's cute when you break and will get you whipped" set. Like don't pass on my right side, or end a sentence with a preposition.
And the "no, really. don't do that" set.

Kind of like soft v. hard limits. Kind of.

As for rewards, obviously the joy of pleasing her beloved Sir du jour. Cookies. Privileges. Prezzies. Like the extent of the offense determines the extent of the punishment, the reward depends on the good behavior. Basic obedience and respect should be a baseline, and gets basic rewards of attention and care. Going above and beyond that baseline, anticipating wants and making extra effort can awaken a very warm and generous side of me, and when sufficiently aroused, this beast has been known to take over and make a lot of fuss over pyl.

 

[KoPilot]

Not having a single ounce of tension or bad vibes in the air is reward in and of itself. Why the hell would I deliberately do something I know would upset him? That would just make me an asshole.

 

[BiBunny]

For a masochist, punishment IS a reward. A punishment has to be something different, usually lack of attention.

Not necessarily. Even if one is a masochist, there is STILL something he or she can't handle/doesn't like/doesn't get off on. For example, I consider myself a masochist or a painslut, depending on which way the wind blows. But, even though I don't do "punishment" dynamics, I also can't stand to be hit with a paddle. If someone wanted to punish me, he or she would beat me with a paddle. But that'd never happen because I don't want to be in a "punishment" relationship, anyway.

 

[subwannabe]

I think a good Dom should know his sub well enough to know what pleasure his sub would like for positive reinforcement. It's actually not all about him.

 

[where]

depends on what she or he likes. it's human nature to crave comforting physical touch so the suggestions of petting, cuddling and kissing make sense.

 

[callinectes2]

YC, are you asking about rewarding general good behavior or for reaching a goal or completing a difficult task?

In my relationship it seems to work like this (we haven't discussed this, these are my observations)...

If my over-all behavior has been good it reinforces his confidence in my ability to follow his rules, etc. and his response to this is give me a little extra leash, (figuratively speaking) or to do things with me that he doesn't particularly enjoy but that give me pleasure....think shoe shopping or driving 2 hours just to to wander around Ikea.

If I have reached a goal then the reward is specific but depends on the task. It could be anything from a direct thank you to a special present or weekend trip.

 

[PenIsMightier1]

I do like to give positive as well as negative reiforcement, if you only give negative you make them develop an attitude that says I will do my best not to do anything wrong, if you reward positively as well they will also develop an attitude of I wonder what I can do to please my domme.

Not to mention I like to reward positively since then I get to do something nice that we both enjoy as well, so a kiss and stroking makes me feel kinder and more human and not some big crop in the sky to be feared

 

[YourCaptor]

YC, are you asking about rewarding general good behavior or for reaching a goal or completing a difficult task?

In my relationship it seems to work like this (we haven't discussed this, these are my observations)...

If my over-all behavior has been good it reinforces his confidence in my ability to follow his rules, etc. and his response to this is give me a little extra leash, (figuratively speaking) or to do things with me that he doesn't particularly enjoy but that give me pleasure....think shoe shopping or driving 2 hours just to to wander around Ikea.

If I have reached a goal then the reward is specific but depends on the task. It could be anything from a direct thank you to a special present or weekend trip.

Ya that's along the lines I was thinking.

You know, good behavior, reward it, make it more prevalent.

 

[callinectes2]

Ya that's along the lines I was thinking.

You know, good behavior, reward it, make it more prevalent.

I catch the sarcasm, man. Geez. I was just asking if you were talking general or specific.

 

[YourCaptor]

I catch the sarcasm, man. Geez. I was just asking if you were talking general or specific.

No sarcasm.

I'm just rolling my eyes at all the over analyzers and mushy philosophizers.

 

[unregistered]

 

[ownedsubgal]

no offense YC, but i'm still kinda confused by the idea that good behavior, from a submissive person to their Dominant partner, needs to be reinforced or encouraged. they want to serve you, please you, make you happy...that is a given. they don't want to disappoint or displease you, that too is a given. what more could you possibly want?

if someone actually needs rewards or little treats or congratulatory pats in order to be good, then i would question that person's submissiveness. yeah, everyone appreciates being appreciated, but to need that stuff to do what is your place to do anyway?...or to provide better service or behavior because of it? that just doesn't compute.

 

[neci]

no offense YC, but i'm still kinda confused by the idea that good behavior, from a submissive person to their Dominant partner, needs to be reinforced or encouraged. they want to serve you, please you, make you happy...that is a given. they don't want to disappoint or displease you, that too is a given. what more could you possibly want?

if someone actually needs rewards or little treats or congratulatory pats in order to be good, then i would question that person's submissiveness. yeah, everyone appreciates being appreciated, but to need that stuff to do what is your place to do anyway?...or to provide better service or behavior because of it? that just doesn't compute.

if you don't understand positive reinforcement, you should do some research on the psychologist B.F. Skinner. if you received the same reaction for every thing you did, how would you know what your master desired? have you ever been told "thank you" or "good job?" simple positive affirmations let us know that what we are doing pleases those around us. when your master takes your food to work, and comes home and lets you know that people thought he had the best meal, that is a positive reinforcement. it encourages you to continue doing good work.

 

[YourCaptor]

no offense YC, but i'm still kinda confused by the idea that good behavior, from a submissive person to their Dominant partner, needs to be reinforced or encouraged. they want to serve you, please you, make you happy...that is a given. they don't want to disappoint or displease you, that too is a given. what more could you possibly want?

if someone actually needs rewards or little treats or congratulatory pats in order to be good, then i would question that person's submissiveness. yeah, everyone appreciates being appreciated, but to need that stuff to do what is your place to do anyway?...or to provide better service or behavior because of it? that just doesn't compute.

Well it could be argued that for such a sub serving is naturally rewarding, but lets not get into that.

At the most basic level, reward = yes I like that, do it more, and punishment = no I don't like that, do it less.

Except that we aren't computers and have emotions which catalyze lots of our actions. So a reward makes the sub feel good, which causes the sub to favor whatever action produced the good feeling.

So you see if sub gives the perfect blow job, is happy about that, gets praised, and gets new shoes. That's a deal not to be resisted.

And then you can also go way deep into the science at which point motivation and quantity of behavior technically aren't linked. Reward pathways don't actually monitor the behavior itself, they control approach actions, which are then followed by the behavior in question. However even when motivation pathways are eliminated, some behaviors are still favored over others, they just aren't initiated. And then theirs a whole clusterfuck of crazy scientists fighting each other through article medium.

PS. Praise, even for adults is actually one of the strongest reinforcers.

 

[neci]

new shoes for the perfect blowjob?

on this one, i'm happy with a belly full of cum.

 

[unregistered]