The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

[TypicalDeviant]

Man, BLoved, I bet you're the life of the party.

 

[00Syd]

Man, BLoved, I bet you're the life of the party.

He doesn't like parties. They're teeming with predators and are breeding grounds for abuse, didn't you know?

 

[warrior queen]

The intimacies shared depend very much upon the preferences of my beloved and the degree to which she has developed.

developed? in just a few short weeks?

holy crap! it took me years to develop to where i am now, and i'm nowhere near finished!
and here you are talking breath-play which is something i won't go near because i have yet to find anyone experienced enough.
[sarcasm]or perhaps i should just 'trust in love' and let my equally-inexperienced-in-breath-play partner have a go anyway - we're both interested, and our love should allow us to 'develop' breath-play together without needing any outsiders instruction, right?
our love will protect us from any accidents or mishaps.....
i'm so glad i learned that! thankyou! [/sarcasm]

you are a complete ass.... and your true love won't survive your dangerous ego/superiority complex..

 

[warrior queen]

Only one species has arisen with the power to end all life on the planet.

Only one species has arisen with the power to leave the planet.

and that species aint humans.
we cannot leave the planet (not really - the furthest we've gone is the moon, and that's still within the earth system), nor could we possibly end all life on this planet (especially given that about 99.1% of all life is bacterial, fungal and viral, and almost all of the mass of those live deep within the earths crust and not up here with us anyway!)

get your facts straight, then get back to me, ok? - on ALL subjects, if you please!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

developed? in just a few short weeks?

holy crap! it took me years to develop to where i am now, and i'm nowhere near finished!
and here you are talking breath-play which is something i won't go near because i have yet to find anyone experienced enough.
[sarcasm]or perhaps i should just 'trust in love' and let my equally-inexperienced-in-breath-play partner have a go anyway - we're both interested, and our love should allow us to 'develop' breath-play together without needing any outsiders instruction, right?
our love will protect us from any accidents or mishaps.....
i'm so glad i learned that! thankyou! [/sarcasm]

you are a complete ass.... and your true love won't survive your dangerous ego/superiority complex..

Dude.

He's already said he knows all.

I've developed my skills as a master through three intimate relationships spanning more than 20 of the past 27 years. There is little I do not know and that which I do not know I deem unsafe to begin with. As neither of us wish to pursue a casual relationship with anyone, I feel confident that whatever direction she wishes to explore, I can accomodate her.

(Oh, and so I'm not putting words in people's mouths, the emphasis is mine)

 

[TypicalDeviant]

He doesn't like parties. They're teeming with predators and are breeding grounds for abuse, didn't you know?

Well, you know, the parties that are cool enough to have him. We're just not safe and loved enough to know about them.

 

[Netzach]

It's funny how I won't engage in breathplay with people I supposedly detest and devalue and abuse because there is that small chance that they throw TIA's and DIE INSTANTLY.

 

[BLoved]

you appear to be completely intollerant of anyone else who doesn't fit your rose-coloured profile.

I am not the one seeking to disrupt this discussion.

I am not the one who is inviting friends to disrupt this discussion.

Which of us, I wonder, has more difficulty with those who hold opposing views?

 

[BLoved]

LOL at you ignoring my advice to your "beloved".

My beloved was napping at the time. As I'm sure you will have noticed, she responded when she woke up.

I see how your relationship really is.

~smile~

And don't you get tired of being wrong.

 

[BLoved]

Seems to be working.

Which just goes to show how pathetic are the arguments in favour of casual 'bdsm'.

 

[BLoved]

I don't know how much there is left to distrupt. At some point, we have to agree to disagree.

I am not the one demanding agreement.

Believe what you will. I did not start this discussion to convince those hopelessly addicted to dysfunctional behaviour.

This discussion was always for the benefit of those not yet addicted, and those not yet hopelessly addicted.

 

[BLoved]

How are my claims less valid than your own, which are based on collarme.com, this forum and one visit to a party.

I've discussed this topic many times over the past two+ years here, on collarme, fetlife, b.com, mds.

As I have said repeatedly, people only interested in NSA play and sex are not huddling together. The public scene is not so monolothic.

And isn't it funny that the only people seeking to disrupt this discussion are the advocates of casual 'bdsm'.

 

[BLoved]

Awesome.

Now I'm extra dysfunctional because I divorced my husband of 12 years.
You know, the one that asked me to marry him on our second date, because he just KNEW I was his True Love. The one I married 6 months after meeting. When I was 20.

The thing neither of us knew was that he had an issue with falling in love. Repeatedly. He did it 2-3 times a year [with other women].

I'll be sure to inform our therapist (we saw her individually and as a couple for about a year... he fell in love with her at one point too) that she was wrong to support our decision to divorce as being emotionally and psychologically healthy, offering our children a much better opportunity to witness healthier relationship dynamics than our marriage offered them.

Only dysfunctional societies produce men who are emotionally incapable of raising their children.

 

[ImOnIt]

Only dysfunctional societies produce men who are emotionally incapable of raising their children.

No.

Trollololol


Would you like your statement deconstructed and logic applied to it? THOUGHT NOT.

 

[warrior queen]

Only dysfunctional societies produce men who are emotionally incapable of raising their children.

i said it before.... and now you have proven it beyond doubt.... you are an ass

i'm done here.

 

[BLoved]

I also am of the opinion that allowing someone who grew up in the atmosphere you describe to return to that environment (especially alone) to be extremely dangerous, risky, abusive, and highly improper.

I am well aware of my responsibility and she is well aware of my concerns.

She has assured me she will not be going into the lion's den alone.

*Background (recognizing BL will utilize this to excuse/defend his theories and label me a broken emotionally crippled individual...)- my mother is bipolar, borderline personality disorder, delusional (diagnosed when I was 15); my father abandoned me at 17. I broke off all contact with my parents 11 years ago; I maintain minimal contact with my sister. I am sorry you were abused; I am sorrier that you continue to put yourself in harms way. Being biologically related to someone does not obligate me to place myself in harms way (emotionally, mentally or physically).

On this both of us are in agreement with you.

As for labelling you ... my beloved has been through far worse than you've described here, and has managed to retain her faith in love.

It is that strength of character that makes her so lovable.

It is not the history of abuse that makes one dysfunctional ... it is giving up.

My beloved did not give up, on herself or love.

You will have to look to your fellow advocates of casual 'bdsm' if you are looking for those who would label you a "broken emotionally crippled individual" due to past abuse.

Daddy2mylilgirl and Stella_Omega have both done that to my beloved.

 

[BLoved]

I'm having trouble with most of what you posted; I don't understand, I guess. But, I can relate. I also suffered a childhood I would not wish on my worst enemy and live to tell the tale. I also believe these experiences made me the person I am today and I am a better mom for it. I also chose to not press charges or take action that would place my step-father in jail (I regret this decision today, 16 years later). I did, however, make sure I got my little brother out of that house. I'm not sure I could live with the knowledge that I allowed him to grow up in that environment. If you are in a position to get your brother out of the house, why don't you consider that? Are you of age? Could you be his guardian?

Her brother is the favourite child in the family. He is doted on, spoiled by both parents.

I have pointed out several times that she could bring her father up on charges.

She chooses the path of forgiveness, showing more love and grace towards her parents than she is ever likely to receive from them.

I have come to realize that in many ways she is more in tune with love than I, and I respect and admire her for the path she has chosen.

 

[ImOnIt]

On this both of us are in agreement with you.

As for labelling you ... my beloved has been through far worse than you've described here, and has managed to retain her faith in love.

It is that strength of character that makes her so lovable.

It is not the history of abuse that makes one dysfunctional ... it is giving up.

My beloved did not give up, on herself or love.

You will have to look to your fellow advocates of casual 'bdsm' if you are looking for those who would label you a "broken emotionally crippled individual" due to past abuse.

I don't think you understand your words. Make a point. What I'm hearing is 'Well I did something like this and it is the one right way'

 

[BLoved]

to label an entire community across continents in a negative way based on your limited experience is wrong. ... Everyone of us has warned or been warned

Apparently it is ok to make claims on behalf of "everyone", as long as you are saying something positive.

Since my claims are based on our shared humanity, and we are all humans, I do not see any difficulty with my analysis being applied to casual 'bdsm' as a genre.

 

[BLoved]

Again with the insults? Not too classy.

From the woman who accused me of having a messiah complex ... I guess you would know.

 

[BLoved]

And if "behavior is symptomatic of motive" I can tell you that the timing of your appearance on this boards, with your god complex & martyr complex is highly suspicious.

Why didn't you come to help and warn the newbies a couple months ago? Before you had found your beloved?

~smile~

I have posted my material here before, under the name LoveIsAllYouNeed.

I've had this discussion many times while seeking my beloved: collarme, fetlife, b.com, mds and here.

When I was seeking, advocates of casual 'bdsm' claimed I was a pred.

Now that I have a beloved they claim I have a messiah complex.

It appears the advocates of casual 'bdsm' are willing to use whatever insults they feel will have the most impact with readers under the circumstances.

Of course, doing it now, in the highly antagonistic way you are going about, helps give more credit to the fact that you are the only honest PYL, the only one that is all about Love, the only one that has the pyl's interest at heart. Of course the fact that we do not agree with you 100% (since you conveniently ignore or twist and refuse the parts we agree with you on) could be viewed as your way of proving (to your beloved) that indeed she is better off ignoring what everybody else will tell her.

Except she's been responding to the attacks made against her by the advocates of casual 'bdsm' who believe she can be used as a tool to undermine my credibility.

As I said, it appears the advocates of casual 'bdsm' are willing to use whatever insults they feel will have the most impact with readers under the circumstances.

 

[ImOnIt]

Apparently it is ok to make claims on behalf of "everyone", as long as you are saying something positive.

Since my claims are based on our shared humanity, and we are all humans, I do not see any difficulty with my analysis being applied to casual 'bdsm' as a genre.

Your claims are not 'based on shared humanity'.
We are both humans.

A--> B B--->C A---->C????

However A =/=B.

 

[BLoved]

You've made a liar out of your girlfriend who said that you both respect other people's choices and views.

I respect that others have the right to make their own choices.

I respect that others have the right to their own opinions.

Recognizing that someone has the right to be a racist doesn't mean I respect racism.

 

[intothewoods]

I am not the one demanding agreement.

Believe what you will. I did not start this discussion to convince those hopelessly addicted to dysfunctional behaviour.

This discussion was always for the benefit of those not yet addicted, and those not yet hopelessly addicted.

Neither am I.

I have no reason to believe otherwise.

I've discussed this topic many times over the past two+ years here, on collarme, fetlife, b.com, mds.



And isn't it funny that the only people seeking to disrupt this discussion are the advocates of casual 'bdsm'.

Excellent, but that doesn't address my point.

Everyone is free to post as they wish and interpret posts as they wish.

 

[BLoved]

Well what do you know ...

Thanks to all the posts attempting to disrupt the discussion, I've caught up.