Kinks - how open are you about them?

How do you find out they're like minded?
LOL, yeah--that's the 64 thousand dollar question!! In the most recent IRL relationship, I knew she was slightly bawdy, and said I liked that. Explored comfort with sex language, and moved quickly to recent history. Language is fine--we can say dick, tits and fuck without wincing. Unfortunately, either her libido is dead or the sight of my porky self makes her throw up in her mouth a little. We're friends without benefits. I haven't moved on to kinky things--don't see the need--but if her libido wakes up, I think the groundwork is in place for "Open and affirming" convos.
 
So how open and uninhibited are you with your kinks.
Share your kinks and tell us who knows about them, your family, friends, coworkers or are you secretive about them and keep your kinks hidden in your closet.
Do yo actually indulge in your kinks and have you made any effort from your end to indulge in them. Or you just keep your kinks as a fantasy.
I have developed many kinks over the years and have been indulging in them. Exhibitionism and being naughty / risky in public is one of my kink which I have worked to to make it a part of my daily life. I don't hide it from friends and family any longer and the result has been that many of my friends and family have chosen to ignore me.
But do I care, I don't think so. Life is too short and time will go so fast that soon I will be regretting that I did not enjoy myself. So I have really stopped caring what people think or say and do things which give me sexual pleasures.
Please do share your thoughts on this subject.
Some kinks and fantasies are hard to share, because a lot of the time. People confuse things you have fantasy about is something you really want to do. That’s just not true.

Many fantasies should remain fantasy. For example, I like family fantasies but zero interest in real world incest. It’s more the concept of the forbidden and crossing such taboo lines that excites me. I’ll more often use pictures of women I find online to by my fantasy stand-in MILF mother.

I’ve only had one girlfriend I told about this fetish. She loved dirty talk and it was kind of our foreplay. We’d say wild and kinky suggestions that kept getting crazier, like we were testing limits. Always knowing they were things we can’t or shouldn’t try for real. Just fun trying to shock each other.

One night, we were both kind of high on pot. Made some kinky suggestion about going to a swingers club and finding my parents there and no one knows us. Was pleasantly surprised when she suggested swapping with them so she could watch me plow my mother like a slut. Said we could cuckold my father by making him watch as I make her cum harder than he ever did.

After that, I felt a lot more open to tell her my mom-son fantasies. I have a pretty big variety of family fantasies. She was open minded enough to know these were just fantasy to me. She did enjoy it whenI showed her pictures of the MILF pornstars I’d imagine as my fantasy mother. Even did some roleplaying for me.
 
I guess mine are fairly vanilla, for Literotica anyways. Having been to sex clubs in the past and watching my then girlfriend get fucked and play with girls, I do like that sort of thing but wife will not go that far since marriage. My fantasy would be to see her take a really big cock, maybe a BBC, then lick a creampie out of her. She said that I’ve licked a few creampies out of her unknowingly while we were dating, which is pretty hot to think about.

A threesome would be nice, with a girl or a guy. Would I lick a guy’s cock if it had my wife’s juices on it? Hmmm….
 
Or is that just hot sex?
Trying to find the line between them.
Kink is like an extra which makes things hot, or hotter.

You can have hot sex without the kink, and a kink can be hot without the acts of sex.

So the definition basically is when there's a person who sexually enjoys something which generally isn't sexually exciting, or sexual at all, to most people. Whatever that thing is, that's their kink. Obviously not everyone shares it.

It could also be if it's already sexy but just extra hot to some individuals. Your examples of CIM and saliva are both things which most people experience/perceive as sexual or at least sex-adjacent, but some people don't enjoy them, many people merely put up with them as part of the sex, and most people don't lean into them and amplify their importance in sex. So, the people who do lean into them and amplify them are kinky for those things.
 
It is not good to share to much when a relationship is just starting.
oh, many will claim they can hang in there with you! BUT if you tell most everything at first
mostly Vallina people tend to run like you are Satan himself. :D
 
Yeah...One Leather swing hung from the ceiling by chains and a few leather restraints...maybe a Sybian and OH shit!:rolleyes:
 
None of my family or friends/co workers know about my kinks. When I was first married, I did share some with my then wife and we watched some porn on vhs tape, which included pee play. We talked about it and tried it. Was fun, so erotic to pee on each other. Also when she was heavily pregnant and her milk started to come, I told her how turned on it made me when her nipple would squirt milk on my chest etc as we made out. But over the years and we got older, she became more vanilla and even stated in the divorce that I sexually coerced her into doing things she didn't want, I was like wtf. I am now in another relationship woth a wonderful woman and we have talked about what we like sexually, although she wont open up much to me and just says she will tell me of she didnt like something. But wants to know what I like or want to do. I haven't told her abojt my pee kink yet but jave told her I like ass play both giving and receiving which she is ok with, even tk the point of rimming me with her tongue. We have spoken a little about BDSM as that was on my profile when we first met on a dating site. Im trying to push this further and she does enjoy being spanked, but life is getting in the way over the last year and dont want to push things further yet. We did statt to use the obedience app and gave her some tasks when we had been dating for a few months but that has been on hold for the last year or so.

I am open to talk more by pm but feel more comfortable talking to females about things rather than males🤷‍♂️
 
I’m into pegging but my current wife isn’t. However, she’s ok with my solo dildo play. I like sucking cock but haven’t done so in a long time and she doesn’t know about that except that I did before we met. I’m really into BBW. Is that a kink?
 
My wife and I have touched bases on all mine and I think hers. She isn’t into too many of either these days and doubt she knows how arousing mine are still to me, some even more so now than before. Friends and family are a different story lol, I have a coworker that knows some as she and I have gotten pretty close over the years and a couple friends that know about some kinks but not the more taboo interests.
On line when chatting I’m very open when asked about them.
 
When it comes to kink and/or fetishes, I think of them in two ways. There are the kinks and fetishes that I have done or reasonably expect to do. Then there are the kinks and fetishes that exist for me only in chat/fantasy.

Beyond regular intercourse, fellatio, cunilingus, which I love, I enjoy giving and receiving a finger, tongue, or toy in the asshole. I've been pegged a few times and love it. I've had anal a few times (giving). I've used toys and had them used on me. I've also been very rough with a woman who wanted that treatment. I've enjoyed all of these things. All with women. I am straight.

I've chatted about incest and pet play.

No one knows about any of this except the women who were involved. I don't talk about sex with anyone. That's why I'm here.
 
In my daily life, I’m not very open with my kinks and fetishes, including with my wife. Since we’ve been together, it’s been pretty clear that she has no desire to hear about or indulge any of my sexual desires. I’ve only divulged a handful of fantasies to gauge her response, which has caused me to close that side of me to her.

Online, I’m much less inhibited. I openly confess my desires and interact with like minded kinksters. I’ve gotten to the point of having repressed those desires for so long that I recently connected with someone to fulfill a long held fantasy. No regrets at all.
 
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