Do you share your fetishes with your partner?

[Dearelliot]

Well I've never mentioned mine to the wife or asked about he's to be honest

Over the years as conversations took place, fetishes have been mentioned, and she never responded positively to them, and in general as I said that is her attitude toward fetishes

 

[1789llx]

I’ve shared mine with varying responses. She claims not to have any sexual fantasies at all, ever, of which I am somewhat sceptical, and we have been married a while. I’d be interested if anyone else on here has the same claim, especially any women that may be reading or responding.

 

[9to5]

I’ve shared mine with varying responses. She claims not to have any sexual fantasies at all, ever, of which I am somewhat sceptical, and we have been married a while. I’d be interested if anyone else on here has the same claim, especially any women that may be reading or responding.

mine says the same no fantasy. I have tried to share mine and she doesn't like and have no interest. just vanilla sex is all. I was lucky to tie her once and get her to ride me cowgirl

 

[razor33a]

mine says the same no fantasy. I have tried to share mine and she doesn't like and have no interest. just vanilla sex is all. I was lucky to tie her once and get her to ride me cowgirl

Mine is the same. I have gotten her to use a dildo on me but she says it's "meh" and doing it for me.

 

[MamaBitte]

What a hellish life to have to hide who you are and what you like from your partner. But many people do. They get together and try to hide themselves from each other. Madness!

Let's put it this way, I've learned to hide myself ...

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

If there is something I do share it with my wife.

 

[ChuckWolf]

Usually mention my kinks around the 6-10th date or earlier if things are going well and/or it happens to come up in conversation.

For getting women to talk about their kinks/fantasies, it's either very smooth or it's like pulling teeth.

That said, the movie Secretary was a great icebreaker for one lady I was seeing.

 

[lovingpantyboy]

I’ve shared mine with varying responses. She claims not to have any sexual fantasies at all, ever, of which I am somewhat sceptical, and we have been married a while. I’d be interested if anyone else on here has the same claim, especially any women that may be reading or responding.

My wife had the same type of response, it’s either “I don’t really have any fantasies “ or “pleasing you is my fantasy “. I will say she seems open to discussing and even asking questions about my fantasies. So I don’t complain too much but it does make me ponder what she could be embarrassed or ashamed to tell me about hers.

 

[1789llx]

My wife had the same type of response, it’s either “I don’t really have any fantasies “ or “pleasing you is my fantasy “. I will say she seems open to discussing and even asking questions about my fantasies. So I don’t complain too much but it does make me ponder what she could be embarrassed or ashamed to tell me about hers.

My wife is not interested in asking about or attempting to fulfil my fantasies, even though they’re not too fantastic. Becomes a struggle to deal with from time to time and makes me want someone else to play with.

 

[MamaBitte]

(...) I know I can never tell her I want to try sucking a cock - that would be the end of us

I wonder where this widespread demand for exclusivity comes from? What's wrong with wanting to suck a cock? Normally, you would want your partner's desires to be fulfilled. Why is this different in the area of sexuality?

 

[razor33a]

I think it's based on what the relationship started as, especially marriage, and I think its usually this way and not new. Unless there was some agreement before hand exclusivity is implied at least. As people change and their desires open it probably doesn't fit with the initial agreement, although that can change too. If the other person is steadfast in their view of the relationship, changing it by the other person can be the end. Some are more set on 1-1 than others but they may all say "me only" but that may allow for playing out fantasies but only in the 1-1 group. Maybe it comes up more now as society's views on sex and relationships evolves. I know my wife is a hard no on adding anyone to the mix.

 

[Wantcox2]

My wife and I have been together for a very long time. We're in our 60s now. Years ago she found a picture of me sucking a cock, that opened up a lot of fetish talk! Now days the only sex we have is every few months she'll peg me with a strap on, while I tell her about the cocks I've had. But she was never interested in watching me suck a dick, she just wants to hear about it.

 

[LittleGreene]

I’m incredibly lucky to have a husband who is open sexually with me, and encourages me to be open with him. We’ve talked a lot over the years about our past experiences, our likes and dislikes and fantasies, and they have been the basis of most of my stories. We don’t talk as much nowadays, after 15 years together we know each other pretty well but occasionally something new will be mentioned that spurs another round of discussion and exploration.

 

[cadman7777]

I don't share fetishes or fantasies with my wife.....she wouldn't be very receptive at all

 

[ThatIrishGirl]

Yes but to us the most important thing to be aware of is the no judgement rule. We can share any kink and the other person doesn't have to be into it, it's just hot to shock him sometimes by sending him a porn link I got off to or an alien cock sex toy I might buy. It works both ways

 

[LittleGreene]

Yes but to us the most important thing to be aware of is the no judgement rule. We can share any kink and the other person doesn't have to be into it, it's just hot to shock him sometimes by sending him a porn link I got off to or an alien cock sex toy I might buy. It works both ways

This is very true . If you have open discussions then you have to go in and be very non judgemental. Just because you don’t get the kink doesn’t mean you should make your partner feel bad for having it.

 

[TheUKGent]

As we're getting older, I'm tending to share more of them as Mrs. Gent seems to be more open to some of the ideas and also shares hers.

 

[LittleGreene]

As we're getting older, I'm tending to share more of them as Mrs. Gent seems to be more open to some of the ideas and also shares hers.

That’s great. All healthy

 

[HornyKatie1979]

Some, though not all. She's definitely not into some of the things I'm into, though she does listen and try to understand.

 

[LittleGreene]

Some, though not all. She's definitely not into some of the things I'm into, though she does listen and try to understand.

Well that’s a good way to be. You can’t be aligned on everything

 

[abritishgentleman]

Yes, always. They don't need to be completely met, as the previous poster noted, however the idea of having to supress them or not mention them for the duration of a relationship is completely intolerable to me. They are part of who I am. If I can't discuss them, or allude to them, then I can't express myself to my partner fully. I've been there. I don't want to live that way anymore.

 

[Carson19820]

If it was my fetish the wife was somewhat shy, almost to the point of giggly embarrassment, so I was hesitant to bring mine up. But over the years she has revealed a few of hers to my shock: being with other men (which has happened), fisting (getting there), and once got turned on heavily when she thought her father was watching us fuck (ended up he wasn't).

 

[Medicalman13152]

This is very true . If you have open discussions then you have to go in and be very non judgemental. Just because you don’t get the kink doesn’t mean you should make your partner feel bad for having it.

Great advice from you both on being non-judgmental. That is exactly why most (I suspect) would not be more open, and have conversations as they would be harshly judged. Personally, that is my EXACT reason for never discussing them.

 

[lovingpantyboy]

I don't share fetishes or fantasies with my wife.....she wouldn't be very receptive at all

You never know until you open yourself up and find out. She may be waiting on you feeling the same way. Open , honest communication is key with no judgement as others have already pointed out. Best of luck and hope you give her a chance to decide if she likes or doesn’t like your interests.

 

[Icekiller56]

I just answered this question on another thread, so here's my answer I posted there:

I've opened up about my fantasies to my girlfriend, and she has never judged me. We share some of the same kinks which makes it easier. She never judged me for them and has embraced the ones we don't share. She has never shot down any idea and has been completely open to me. Knowing I'll never be judged for my interests is a major attraction. I have fallen more in love with her because of it. She truly is amazing and I can't wait to spend my life with her. Sorry for the ramble, but I'm madly in love with her.