Why do older men become bi-curious?

[jbird4]

I think it will be different in the future. I think guys who grew up in the 70s and into the 80s, like me were raised in a way that is different from now. Even though my first sex partner was a male, by my teens, being gay was not cool. Anyone who was gay, or could have been gay was talked about or ridiculed. So guys my age were never going to take a chance to be known as gay or bi.

When you get into your 40s and up you start realizing that sex is good. And there is lots of fun to be had. And also, frankly, guys are easier and less complicated that women. If you are a married man and you get involved with a woman they may make
Trouble. Guys on the other hand are fine with NSA sex and so it is just easier.

Younger people, didn’t have that same repressed societal attitude towards gay sex.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Subaurora]

I think it will be different in the future. I think guys who grew up in the 70s and into the 80s, like me were raised in a way that is different from now. Even though my first sex partner was a male, by my teens, being gay was not cool. Anyone who was gay, or could have been gay was talked about or ridiculed. So guys my age were never going to take a chance to be known as gay or bi.

When you get into your 40s and up you start realizing that sex is good. And there is lots of fun to be had. And also, frankly, guys are easier and less complicated that women. If you are a married man and you get involved with a woman they may make
Trouble. Guys on the other hand are fine with NSA sex and so it is just easier.

Younger people, didn’t have that same repressed societal attitude towards gay sex.

Just my thoughts.

Exactly. Married and having an affair or finding a woman for NSA sex is way too complicated and dangerous. Man to man interaction, no emotions, no baggage. Just recreational sex.

 

[Noor]

Exactly. Married and having an affair or finding a woman for NSA sex is way too complicated and dangerous. Man to man interaction, no emotions, no baggage. Just recreational sex.

Men have emotions, and baggage too

 

[lc69hunter]

I am a 64 y/o mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thinh. Is this a common phenomenon?

For many, it is the one thing they might not have ever done, and are past the fake macho gay bullshit they were taught as youngsters.

As for me, I do not like labels. If you are not seeking out another man for a one on one, you are neither gay or bi. However, in a threesome, foursome or moresome, you just tend to do whatever is in front of your face. It is common courtesy. It doesn't make you either one.

 

[Subaurora]

Men have emotions, and baggage too

Yes we do, but it has been my experience that NSA see between men carries little emotion. A man to man relationship outside a MF marriage would likely have baggage and feelings and the potential to get messy if done in secret.

 

[melimelissa]

I am a 64 y/o mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thinh. Is this a common phenomenon?

As they get slower some i know have got bike curious too and the sleepier sometmes get more bye byes curious even during sex.

Giggles

Méli

 

[Noor]

Yes we do, but it has been my experience that NSA see between men carries little emotion. A man to man relationship outside a MF marriage would likely have baggage and feelings and the potential to get messy if done in secret.

Men are really just as bad as women if not if more.

 

[Ciceri]

I have turned 70 in 2020 and due to not having a woman and I too thought about sucking a cock.

We probably long for physical contact and that need meanders. We're sexual creatures. I think women long for connections after middle age - incl other women for intimacy. Not always

 

[Britva415]

Men have emotions, and baggage too

It's nothing like women though.

You have to know this. I'm not saying you do, but I know you know women like this.

Even a man with baggage can (is culturally expected to) regulate himself. Women are permitted (and culturally expected to) make drama of it.

 

[Britva415]

It's nothing like women though.

You have to know this. I'm not saying you do, but I know you know women like this.

Even a man with baggage can (is culturally expected to) regulate himself. Women are permitted (and culturally expected to) make drama of it.

I think it's also very different when the interaction is between a man and a woman, vs between two men.

I think that a man, even one with severe and major baggage, even one with severe and major dysregulation, doesn't get into games-playing with men as much as with women.

I think part of that is because he might just get provoked by the games women are playing with him. But I think that even a guy who instigates game-playing all on his own (I know there are guys like that) is less likely to do it or take it as far when the other person is a man.

 

[Noor]

It's nothing like women though.

You have to know this. I'm not saying you do, but I know you know women like this.

Even a man with baggage can (is culturally expected to) regulate himself. Women are permitted (and culturally expected to) make drama of it.

lol! You haven’t met enough men…
Which sex is more likely to stalk and kill former sex partners? Who imagines relationships? And not only female sex partners.
As for drama, men are the ultimate drama llamas.

If we consider some of the men of lit, who writes these long drawn out stuff about sone women who had a sexual interest like cyber or phone sex and they are betrayed? And then on the politics board, it’s men who resort to name calling and drama when they can’t make a well reasoned argument.

You weren’t around for a byron but he was a drama lama if the highest degree, he wouldn’t freak out about someone not wanting to have it continue to have sex with him but heaven help anyone who didn’t want to watch game of thrones or some other show he thought was great, or someone got away breaking posting rules.

 

[OralAllOver]

Given old women, find a Plan B

 

[Britva415]

I get what @Noor and @YespleaseYesplease mean. And I get that women have a more heightened awareness of those examples than men do.

But in the context of MSM, my perception is that there's less of all that. My perception is that men do more of that stuff to women than they do to men.

 

[Noor]

I get what @Noor and @YespleaseYesplease mean. And I get that women have a more heightened awareness of those examples than men do.

But in the context of MSM, my perception is that there's less of all that. My perception is that men do more of that stuff to women than they do to men.

Gay male friends can be an eye opener.
I’m mainly saying don’t assume nsa will be as clean as it seems, there are no zipless fuck outside of pros and then they get paid.

 

[Noor]

Agree. Aggression and sulking are 'emotions' too, and much more common in men. Look how DV peaks after sports teams lose matches.

Women tend to be more emotionally controlled day to day because they are more used to having to placate people (men).
Look at those Everyday Sexism vids of women walking down the street getting harrassed every few metres.

But men having gay sex do seem able to have truly transactional activity. You dont see lesbians cruising or fucking in the toilets in clubs very much. Nor straight women.

Probably because you don’t frequent women’s toilets…

 

[Scareltt]

Gay male friends can be an eye opener.
I’m mainly saying don’t assume nsa will be as clean as it seems, there are no zipless fuck outside of pros and then they get paid.

I don’t see enough Erica Jong references.. nice!

 

[Noor]

I don’t see enough Erica Jong references.. nice!

Thanks!

 

[yowser]

I don’t see enough Erica Jong references.. nice!

From Bombshell in the Berkshires:

I told her about how nice it was, for both me and Roger. How much I enjoyed a pulsing, squirting cock going off in my mouth. And how sweet it was when he reciprocated.

"The 'zipless suck.' Ha!" She shook her head. "No strings attached."

 

[jbird4]

lol! You haven’t met enough men…
Which sex is more likely to stalk and kill former sex partners? Who imagines relationships? And not only female sex partners.
As for drama, men are the ultimate drama llamas.

If we consider some of the men of lit, who writes these long drawn out stuff about sone women who had a sexual interest like cyber or phone sex and they are betrayed? And then on the politics board, it’s men who resort to name calling and drama when they can’t make a well reasoned argument.

You weren’t around for a byron but he was a drama lama if the highest degree, he wouldn’t freak out about someone not wanting to have it continue to have sex with him but heaven help anyone who didn’t want to watch game of thrones or some other show he thought was great, or someone got away breaking posting rules.

I don’t think i am talking about relationships really. I am talking more about encounters, and opportunities for encounters. A sexual encounter and a relationship (of any sort) are very different things.

I am not the worst looking wretched man in the room. For my age I am complemented on my looks fairly often. But if I am horny and want an orgasm, men are quite honestly the easiest option. Most of my MM encounters since I have been an adult involved almost no communication other than a hand or a mouth or watching. I am in a large city right now and if I had a bit of time and the inclination I could walk out of this building and find a male sex partner, using an app or just my knowledge of cruising even.

If I wanted a MF encounter, there would understandably need to be a dialogue and the building of trust that could lead (sometime) to an encounter in the future. Female cruising does not exist.

 

[TryGuy35]

I don’t think i am talking about relationships really. I am talking more about encounters, and opportunities for encounters. A sexual encounter and a relationship (of any sort) are very different things.

I am not the worst looking wretched man in the room. For my age I am complemented on my looks fairly often. But if I am horny and want an orgasm, men are quite honestly the easiest option. Most of my MM encounters since I have been an adult involved almost no communication other than a hand or a mouth or watching. I am in a large city right now and if I had a bit of time and the inclination I could walk out of this building and find a male sex partner, using an app or just my knowledge of cruising even.

If I wanted a MF encounter, there would understandably need to be a dialogue and the building of trust that could lead (sometime) to an encounter in the future. Female cruising does not exist.

The excitement of cruising makes my heart race

 

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

I had been bi-curious probably my whole life. I would go to arcades I would find the booth playing gay 'porn' and it was so "naughty" to watch men sucking and fucking men.

Lack of sex..... So We start looking for "No Strings Attached" sex. And we know there are other men in the same situation. In short. We become bi-curious for NSA sex

I am 75 mwm that has experienced the same thing. The common link must be that our wives are no longer interested but men still want their cock played with.

Married and having an affair or finding a woman for NSA sex is way too complicated and dangerous. Man to man interaction, no emotions, no baggage. Just recreational sex.

So many good answers, but I think these I've quoted sum it up in a nut-sack.

I too have been bi-curious, (OK, bi-experienced) for a good part of my life. I love my wife, but because she's not really interested in sex anymore, I still want my cock played with. I don't want to have "an affair" (heterosexual) which is rife with complications, but M2M recreational sex is, by definition, "No Strings Attached".

 

[vandelayatx]

Fear of missing out

 

[badonkadoku]

One signficant difference between us and other mostly-straight curious men is, we no longer require the alcohol to get us there.

 

[Unusedhard]

So many good answers, but I think these I've quoted sum it up in a nut-sack.

I too have been bi-curious, (OK, bi-experienced) for a good part of my life. I love my wife, but because she's not really interested in sex anymore, I still want my cock played with. I don't want to have "an affair" (heterosexual) which is rife with complications, but M2M recreational sex is, by definition, "No Strings Attached".

This. Exactly this for me. I need to be touched, and anonymous men at my local ABS are the only people who have been interested in doing the touching recently

 

[Jeph77]

So many good answers, but I think these I've quoted sum it up in a nut-sack.

I too have been bi-curious, (OK, bi-experienced) for a good part of my life. I love my wife, but because she's not really interested in sex anymore, I still want my cock played with. I don't want to have "an affair" (heterosexual) which is rife with complications, but M2M recreational sex is, by definition, "No Strings Attached".

It's almost like starting dating all over again, making a buddy get hard, and vice versa.