Your Hot Wife Conversation

So, my story, which Ive told over and over at this point - we would mutually masturbate and tell each other stories or fantasies and they always tended to end up talking about group sex, or her being taken by a bunch of guys, etc. One day she says she wants to be more submissive - and I tell her I would be slut training her and we would be doing this for real.

Unlike most hotwives, she prefers anonymous sex, so we started with adult theaters and getting her comfortable there, then gloryhole action, then meeting up at a hotel, now group play. We have regulars we can meet up with, and its been wonderful for both of us.
 
Humiliation isn't exactly fun! It's more a by-product of your wife being satisfied by another man and letting you know that she finds it more satisfying, Especially if it was your idea in the first place for her to experience an another man. The other man also recognizes this and will let you know that he is in charge. He is the dominant one. You are terribly sexually aroused, your mind is racing, your breathing labored and you thus feel humiliated while on the verge of cumming intensely.
Your words..."It's more a by-product of your wife being satisfied by another man and letting you know that she finds it more satisfying." I agree...seeing another man pleasing your wife is incredibly arousing...and the humiliation is "a by-product" of the act...you will undoubtedly question her love and desire for you...it's all part of the gut-wrenching envy of wanting her to want you as badly as she seems to want him...I would not be aroused or pleased by any humiliation from him...but my own, self-induced humiliation is terribly arousing...
 
For me and Hubby it was trying to find something to spice up our relationship. We never plan it. After 20+ years together, 2 kids, and him working 7 days a week. There wasn't that much romance/fun left. We roleplay, dress up, toys, etc nothing really work. We finally decide to bring in another person. It took a while to decide who. We didn't want to bring in something we are close with or some stranger off the street.

There was a male friend a friend of ours was seeing. She vouch that he was good and experience. He was a part time escort and keep himself in good shape. I didn't tell Hubby about that part. I just told Hubby we meeting someone and see what he thinks. We went to dinner and the new guy (Hans-Peter) had everything plan. He got us a room at the hotel close by and we went to the bar for a few drinks and then up to the room. Hubby was like a deer in headlights.

Once we got into the room. Hans-Peter got some bottles out of the mini bar and pour each of us a drink. I took one sip and Hans-peter took the glass from my hand and kiss me. One thing lead to another and Hubby watch me with another. We found out that night. He love watching. He was so turn on we went home and were like teenagers.
 
For me and Hubby it was trying to find something to spice up our relationship. We never plan it. After 20+ years together, 2 kids, and him working 7 days a week. There wasn't that much romance/fun left. We roleplay, dress up, toys, etc nothing really work. We finally decide to bring in another person. It took a while to decide who. We didn't want to bring in something we are close with or some stranger off the street.

There was a male friend a friend of ours was seeing. She vouch that he was good and experience. He was a part time escort and keep himself in good shape. I didn't tell Hubby about that part. I just told Hubby we meeting someone and see what he thinks. We went to dinner and the new guy (Hans-Peter) had everything plan. He got us a room at the hotel close by and we went to the bar for a few drinks and then up to the room. Hubby was like a deer in headlights.

Once we got into the room. Hans-Peter got some bottles out of the mini bar and pour each of us a drink. I took one sip and Hans-peter took the glass from my hand and kiss me. One thing lead to another and Hubby watch me with another. We found out that night. He love watching. He was so turn on we went home and were like teenagers.
Both you and your husband are lucky people
 
The summer of 1994 and all of my senior year in college, I was in Indiana due to an engineering internship. It was that summer that my wife lost her virginity to a guy she was casually dating. I would have been very jealous and upset if I had known then but I did not find out until we had been married a few years. I thought she was a virgin when we got married. Turned out six guys had her before me. Still, she is MY wife and I love her and trust her to always come home to me.
 
Thanks for sharing this. I do think the initial response from most wives is that the husband is looking for approval to seek things with other women. For most husbands this is not the case at all.

I liked on how your friend helped your wife learn that sexy is not a one size fits all situation. I find women of all shapes and sizes to be sexy. I liked that your wife felt better about herself from his attention.

I have often wondered if a single friend would be helpful for my wife, if she had some attraction to him. I think not loving the other man would help a wife to give it a try. Glad it worked out for all three of you.
You are so right in thinking that most wives are suspicious of their husband's intentions, when approached with the 'free pass' situation. For a hubby to say, "Go ahead and have sex with other men," is just not something most wives think is normal. They think there is an ulterior motive, like hubby wanting to fuck other women.

When I first began having this conversation with my wife, she thought it was just bedroom talk to spice things up. When it carried on to a more detailed discussion, she asked me that exact same question. She also wanted to know if I still found her sexually attractive. This was very important to know for her too. She needed to know I still found her sexy, and that I still loved her. All very important.

As far as picking that 'special' friend, I'm sure that she may have a few candidates in mind. After all, our wives do not live in a vacuum. They are out and about, working, shopping, visiting friends. They have most likely been hit on many times, without us ever knowing. If she picks a friend of yours, who knows?
 
I think there will come a time when having sex outside of marriage will cease being considered a kinky behavior and will instead be seen as healthy and normal. And at that point, we'll see the demise of gross terms like "Hot Wife."

Health care providers have long recommended exercise for our physical well-being. And more recently, to see a therapist for our mental health, AND to do crossword puzzles and other brain exercises for our cognitive health.

Well, I predict a day will come when Health Care Providers will encourage older couples in longstanding relationships - especially those where intimacy has slowed to a halt - to pursue it outside of their relationship because remaining sexually active is highly correlated with better physical, mental, and cognitive health and overall longevity. But for this to happen, people need to stop seeing their partner as their property and need to stop conflating Sex with Love. Sometimes, the desire for sex is just a biological itch that needs to scratched. ..And if it's not scratched, people become less healthy and die younger.

Another helpful change would be the legalization and normalization of Sex Work. ..It's predictable there would be many people who would find being visited in their home by a licensed and bonded sex worker as the easiest, safest and most discrete way to scratch their healthy and normal itch for sexual variety.
 
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I think there will come a time when having sex outside of marriage will cease being viewed a kinky behavior and will instead be seen as healthy and normal. And at that point, we'll see the demise of gross terms like "HOTWIFE."

Health care providers have always encouraged us to exercise for our physical well-being. And more recently, we're being encouraged to see a therapist for our mental health, AND to do crossword puzzles and other brain exercises for our cognitive health. These are fairly new recommendations.

Well, I predict a day will come when couples in longstanding relationships where their sexual activity has slowed to a halt will be encouraged by Health Care Providers to have sex outside of their relationship to improve and maintain their sexual health, which is as highly correlated with longevity as Physical, Mental, and Cognitive health. But for this to change people need to stop seeing partner as property and need to stop seeing Sex an expression of love - which it CAN be but is not always. Sometimes, it's just a biological itch that needs to scratched.
I definitely think it’s different the perception now compared to even 10 years ago. I look at some young couples and I’ve met at least 2 that are open to so much more than anything we thought about when we got together.

My husband and I have discussed opening up the marriage to couples and solos but haven’t made the step. I think we’re worried the effect on us as a couple and parents, and any outside perception of it was known.

Doesn’t stop us fantasising about it
 
I think there will come a time when having sex outside of marriage will cease being viewed a kinky behavior and will instead be seen as healthy and normal. And at that point, we'll see the demise of gross terms like "Hot Wife."

Health care providers have long recommended exercise for our physical well-being. And more recently, to see a therapist for our mental health, AND to do crossword puzzles and other brain exercises for our cognitive health.

Well, I predict a day will come when Health Care Providers will encourage older couples in longstanding relationships - especially those where sexual activity has slowed to a halt - to have sex outside of their relationship to improve and maintain their sexual health, which is as highly correlated with longevity as Physical, Mental, and Cognitive health. But for this to happen, people need to stop seeing their partner as their property and need to stop conflating Sex with Love. Sometimes, the desire for sex is just a biological itch that needs to scratched. ..And if it's not scratched, people become less healthy and die younger.

Another helpful change would be the legalization and normalization of Sex Work. ..It's predictable there would be many people who would find being visited in their home by a licensed and bonded sex worker as the easiest, safest and most discrete way to scratch their healthy and normal itch for sexual variety.
It is posts like this that encourage me to finally buy that condo at The Villages in Florida.

Why does it have to be so taboo? I do not think it is odd when we get massages. Why not sex?

I think it is easier when you are older and more secure.
 
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So I have recently learned my husband has quite the active imagination on sex....( Several years ago)
Now I am vanilla and in menopause and I tried to be the sexy woman and dressed up for a couple years and tried some different stuff. But as the years go by i just don't get it, and I am not super comfortable with it.
Husband has revealed he is quite into porn and kinks...
I Have told him he can hire a Dom or strippers but he just ignored me
I am thinking maybe I should start by saying he could find himself an online friend who could help him live out his kinks would be a good start?
I feel bad that all these years he has had all these feelings and I am just vanilla (I am super happy being boring vanilla me)
I have admitted to him several times that I am mystified that he is still with me.
And I have no desire to join him or watch.
 
I feel bad that all these years he has had all these feelings and I am just vanilla (I am super happy being boring vanilla me)
I have admitted to him several times that I am mystified that he is still with me.
Why are you mystified he's still with you?

Yes, sex is a very important part of a fulfilling life, but it is not the ONLY part of a fulfilling life. Perhaps he's with you because he loves you and prefers a bit of sexual frustration with you at his side to being with someone else and not being sexually frustrated. Besides, very few of us is getting precisely the amount and kind of sex we want. So quit feeling so bad for him ;)

And from what you've shared, it seems you've done all you reasonably can to accommodate his kinky interests. It's not your fault that they are his interests but not yours, so you shouldn't feel bad about it. As for allowing him to pursue those interests, elsewhere. ...Well, your openness to that is admirable but I'd suggest the two of you first see a sex therapist, for two reasons: 1) They may help you find that intersection of kink/ interests that you both find sufficiently enjoyable so opening your marriage isn't necessary. 2) If you DO open your marriage a therapist may help you establish rules and guardrails to minimize the risk it will pose to your marriage - which can be quite considerable. Besides, it will be good for YOU @Sweetdreams71 to hear it said by a professional therapist that there IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU and it would be good for your husband to hear that, too!!!

You need to stop feeling bad about yourself - you hardly sound like a sex-hating, man-hating prude. You're here on Literotica, for goodness sake - that alone means you're more sex-positive than most.

I will add that men need to understand that porn, while seemingly harmless, often has this affect on marriages. It takes one person's sexual interests (usually the mans) in directions and distances the other finds they simply cannot follow, leaving that person feeling left behind or sexually irrelevant.
 
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My husband and I have discussed opening up the marriage to couples and solos but haven’t made the step. I think we’re worried the effect on us as a couple and parents, and any outside perception of it was known.
I think such concerns are normal, healthy and well placed. ..And no couple should be in a rush to do this.

My granting my wife permission to be with other men didn't happen until after our kids were raised and out of the house. It only occurred to me after our marriage reached a point where I felt 100% secure in its permanence. The thought of her being with another guy when we were in our 30's was unthinkable, for the reasons you mentioned...and others.

But now, it literally makes me smile. Doesn't worry me in the least. She's mine, I'm hers and nothing is going to change that, least of all a few hours of sex with another man. And if she were to tell me a hookup gave her the best orgasm of her life, I'd hug her and tell her I'm happy for her. Would it bother me? No! ..It would happen for only one of two reasons: 1) he's just someone other than me - so it was the newness that made it better, which means it's nothing personally related to me. 2) he did something that I don't do in which case she can teach ME how to do it..:).

Here's the bottomline: If you've given your partner much more to love about you than just the sex you give them, then you have nothing to fear about them having occasional sex with someone else.
 
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I think such concerns are normal, healthy and well placed. ..And no couple should be in a rush to do this.

My granting my wife permission to be with other men didn't happen until after our kids were raised and out of the house. It only occurred to me after our marriage reached a point where I felt 100% secure in its permanence. The thought of her being with another guy when we were in our 30's was unthinkable, to me. For the reasons you mentioned, and others.

But now, it literally makes me smile. Doesn't worry me in the least. She's mine, I'm hers and nothing is going to change that, least of all a few hours of sex with another man. And if she were to tell me a hookup gave her best orgasm ever, I'd hug her and tell her I'm happy for her. Would it bother me? No! ..It happened for one of two reasons: 1) he's just someone other than me - so it was the newness that made it better, which means it's nothing personal related to me. 2) he did something that I don't do in which case she can teach ME to do it...

Here's the bottomline: If you've given your partner much more to love about you than just the sex you give them, then you have nothing to fear about them having sex with someone else.
This is absolutely perfect. I’m so pleased for you guys.
 
@Sweetdreams71 to hear it from a professional therapist that there IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU and it would be good for your husband to hear that, too!!!
Thanks for this
You need to stop feeling bad about yourself - you hardly sound like a sex-hating, man-hating prude. You're here on Literotica, for goodness sake - that alone means you're more sex-positive than most.

I will add that men need to understand that porn, while seemingly harmless, does seem to have this affect on marriages. It takes one person's sexual interests (usually the mans) in directions the other finds they simply cannot follow, leaving that person feeling left behind or sexually irrelevant.
The gap is so wide, I feel very inadequate and totally out of my league. I feel we would be better suited if he found his slut and I would be free of the pressure. (Which I have put on myself)
He has not pressured me but I have seen whom and what he watches in porn. He has bought me outfits and toys and himself stuff, and I can sometimes enjoy it but deep down I cannot compete. I refuse to ask him to change because I myself cannot change who I am either.
 
He has not pressured me but I have seen whom and what he watches in porn. He has bought me outfits and toys and himself stuff, and I can sometimes enjoy it but deep down I cannot compete.
I don't mean to be annoying, but you shouldn't feel like you're competing with Porn or fantasies. And a sex therapist can maybe help you understand that. NO ONE can compete with someone's sex fantasies and they shouldn't be expected to. My wife can't compete with my fantasies about Julie Newmar (the original cat woman) and I can't compete with her fantasies of Rège-Jean Page (and perhaps also Julie Newmar, but she won't admit it :LOL: ).

Now, if he pressures you to engage in the sex he fantasizes about or he has lost interest in engaging in the sex that YOU enjoy... Well, that's different, that's letting his fantasies damage his real-world relationship.

In any case, I feel bad for what you're going through. Again, if you enjoy Literotica, then you seem like a pretty exciting woman to many of us here.
 
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I have had this desire for every woman I was involved with. And, as you point out I was questioned if it was a ploy for me to be with another woman. With my first girlfriend I assured her it wasn't. I didn't know much about it except that I wanted it to happen.
She admitted a guy had been hitting on her, so I suggested he would be the perfect guy. I encouraged her to start dating him so they could become sexual partners. He was twice her age and hung. Once she had sex with him she wanted more, like two or three times a week. This went on for over a year, until it turned out he was married and his wife was not happy about his unfaithfulness.
I was delighted it added a new dimension to our relationship, in a positive way. She showed me all the new techniques he was teaching her. Being more experienced that both oof us, he brought her to orgasmic heights that we didn't know existed.
 
Tell us the techniques he taught her and you.
1) She became an excellent cock sucker
2) She learned to swallow cum
3) She learned about erotic spankings
4) He knew how to make her cum multiple times, with his big hard cock. He fucked her like she had never been fucked before. She went from being non responsive to starting to excitement when my cock touched her pubes.
5) Put his finger in her ass when she was ready to cum. He suggested I do anal sex with her because he was too big.
 
As a fellow who enjoys the idea of his SO (wife, gf) being naughty and, perhaps occasionally having sex with other men, I have given this quite a bit of thought; even when I'm not jacking off or having sex with her .... 😄

I also wonder what makes me want to see or know about my mate having sex with other men. And it occurs to me there is no one, right answer. I can think of several motivations or reasons.

I have been meaning to create a poll for those of us who have this desire and find out how those among us (and apparently we are many) view ourselves ...

For my part, I am quite sure the term "Cuckold" does not apply to me. I am not into the humiliation or deprivement angle.

There's no way I could watch or help my gf get ready for a date. Or have her sext or call me while she's out getting laid by someone else.

I don't want to catch her cheating on me. I'm also not into her or her "Bull" feminizing me.

After a lot of contemplation, I think the term that best describes my desire is "Stag". I am more than capable of satisfying my woman without finding someone else to do that in my stead. But I do like the idea of her acting on her desire for sexual satisfaction and getting it with my knowledge and consent.
 
How did that conversation go?
Well. I neglected to mention that GF/wife-sharing and to a much lesser but still detectable degree hotwifing turned us both on (and we both knew it).

Spoiler: It is not. To be corrosive to a marriage, an offense must attack trust, as deception or concealment does. You can cope or even fix damn near everything else.
 
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