Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Bloodandglitter]

Hope it works for you. Nothing worse than when a medication stops working. Been through that cycle too many times.

Thank you! I have that same issue quite a bit thru the years

 

[Bassytian]

This weekend, I have been struggling with a bout of the most crippling loneliness I have felt in years. It’s such a paradox, I’m a very solitary person and require several hours of alone time every day, and yet I’m profoundly lonely.

And it’s not like being around people and trying to form connections helps, in fact it has the opposite effect, trying to connect with people makes me feel even more disconnected. I don’t think I belong in this world, so the question is “where the hell do I belong?”

As hard as I work to fight this, every step forward means four back. I’m a complete mess…

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

I have more become a solitary person, but only due to me marrying about the "wrongest" person I could have, just because I (ironically) can't be alone. I'd like to think I learned a dire consequences lesson from that, but it provided my beloved children... only to find out they were to develop into her genetic predisposition towards selfishness and apathy.
Leaving me to become the wreckage of a broken-hearted, wretched wreck. Yay for me.

"I don’t think I belong in this world, so the question is “where the hell do I belong?”"
What a spectacular question. I wrestle with the same.

While it wouldn't be a complete panacea, just finding a relationship I could truly be a part of, have a connection with... would fix a massive amount of wrong in my life.
It's so simple, yet so evilly unobtainable. Especially the older you get, and the more broken you become.

 

[Wetkitty09]

As much as I think it would be nice to have someone in my life I have come to realize that I don’t really have the energy to be available to anyone the way I feel it’s required to have a relationship. So I muddle through alone.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

I have zero energy for anything anymore, as well as having lost love for the things that helped me through the days (textbook classic depression symptom), like playing my bass or guitars (I once thought I'd be a rich/famous musician and/or actor).
But I KNOW that finding "that special someone" would give me back what I need to survive. It's historically been the case.

Unless I'm just too damaged now, which i hope isn't, but fear might just be the case.

 

[Bassytian]

I often feel as though I am too damaged, but looking through posts on this page, I was reminded that the divide I seem to have with most people, and whatever causes it, hasn't been entirely a curse. In school, I nearly fell into "the wrong crowd". We got together and smoked weed to begin with, which is fine, but then they wanted to move on to harder stuff. The first time I said "I don't know about this...", they were done with me. Today, a lot of those guys are either in prison, convicted felons, or dead. This is just one example too. Sometimes when you're in so much pain, it's hard to see that it could always be worse.

So, as lonely as I feel at times, it has been a blessing in disguise. It often hurts, but I'm not so desperate for a connection that I'll throw myself at just anyone. You have to be very careful, especially these days. And, as @Wetkitty09 said, I don't have the energy for a relationship, it's hard enough to do my job at the moment.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

I've learned that no matter what's going on, it REALLY COULD be worse, no matter what hell you're trying to survive at the moment.
But to me, IMO, that's not something that should be held or even perceived as a positive, because everything really could be less bad, if only a little good was to occasionally happen.

Every day anymore, without fail, I have more crap that just rears its ugly head to crush me further. It's not just a perception, they're demonstrably destructive and potentially game-changingly bad (up to and including today).

The late-great Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday had an awesome line (of many) in Tombstone - "There's no normal life Wyatt, It's just life. Get on with it.”
I wish I could.

​

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. Two more days then I’m off to the coast for a month of solitude. I can’t wait to step away from the chaos that is at home right now.

Be safe out there.
Love you

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

That sounds great. Hope it's everything you want/need it to be, and more.

 

[Bassytian]

I've learned that no matter what's going on, it REALLY COULD be worse, no matter what hell you're trying to survive at the moment.
But to me, IMO, that's not something that should be held or even perceived as a positive, because everything really could be less bad, if only a little good was to occasionally happen.

Every day anymore, without fail, I have more crap that just rears its ugly head to crush me further. It's not just a perception, they're demonstrably destructive and potentially game-changingly bad (up to and including today).

The late-great Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday had an awesome line (of many) in Tombstone - "There's no normal life Wyatt, It's just life. Get on with it.”
I wish I could.

​

Yeah, fair point. I have always hated being told "it could always be worse", so I really only say it to/about myself because in my case it's true, but it may not be for someone else.

I often mourn the fact that not a single woman I have ever asked out has ever said "yes", and I've asked dozens. The only woman I have ever been in a relationship asked ME out, but it turned out I was just the intermission between her ex and a guy she really wanted, a "rebound boyfriend" as it were. The last straw was in 2015 when I thought I was hitting it off with a coworker. I asked her out but she said "thank you, really, but I want to be single for a while", fair enough. But less than two weeks later, I saw her in the arms of a guy 8 years younger than me. It feels dumb now to have let that break me the way it did, but it happened. I had to go on anti-depressants, and came close to taking my own life.. more than once.

After that, I have never wanted to even try to enter into a relationship, trying again would likely be my end. Yes, the loneliness is there, but maybe that relationship could have been the worst thing that could have happened to me. That's what I tell myself to soften the blow anyway and must of the time it works. So, I'll live with my loneliness knowing "it could always be worse". Yeah, it could be better too, but I've grown quite fond of not having to share my time/energy/life with someone else and having no drama.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Yeah, it really could be worse, but IMO, that's comparable to saying - I'm being eaten by a mountain lion, but at least it's not a grizzly bear. Is what the murdering entity is really matter, if it can destroy you?

If it matters, I've learned that NO ONE is worth taking your own life over, EVER... but I know that doesn't make it easier or less painful.

If you can get by and survive without anyone else in your life, that's awesome. Logistically, at least to me, you'll probably be better off. A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
But if you can't, then why try and fight fate/destiny/WTF-ever? I feel that certain things might just be worth fighting for.
If you can, ya know?

The whole "could be better/could be worse" ideology seems like a crutch to me. But you can't ever speak to, or even begin to comprehend what someone else is going through.

I've always had a Superman complex, from my earliest childhood. If I could help, or defend someone from a bully, I did. Man, the stories I could tell you...
Then, I found out how many people didn't want to be "rescued". Shocking, but true.
But... a lot of people welcomed any help they could get.

Drama-free is a fantasy concept to me, but then again, so is happiness. I wish that wasn't the case.

 

[Bassytian]

I don’t entirely agree with your point on the better/worse thing, but I do respect it and understand where you’re coming from. The ability to agree to disagree is sadly a dying concept these days..

I look at it this way: “I may be depressed about x, y, or z, but I could be terminally ill instead” or be in some other kind of horrible situation. Honestly, if being lonely is all I have to worry about, I’m more fortunate than I can imagine, even if I can’t always see it. Not trying to invalidate your opinion on it, just offering a different viewpoint, that’s all.

While I do think I would be happier alone, it’s not like I have a choice anyway. My inability to attract anyone aside, I have lost interest to such a degree that I can’t remember the last time I felt any sort of attraction to anyone. I see women coming into my work place wearing low cut tanks and short shorts. While my male coworkers check them out, I’m thinking “damn, isn’t too cold to dress like that yet?”, no sexual thought whatsoever. And yet the biological yearning for a connection is still there.

Though something within me died at that time, it feels as though something new is trying to grow in its place. I just need to pull the dead weeds out so it will have room to flourish. The fight to help it grow is a battle worth fighting, I think so anyway.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

>The ability to agree to disagree is sadly a dying concept these days..

Nope. I'm right and you're wrong.
JK. You are right, because too many people are infallibly right, all of the time, without fail. In their own minds. My opinions are just that - my opinions, and I've found that the stress and depression have very negatively affected my mental acuity anymore.

That too is kinda my "at least" - at least I'm not dying (or my children).

When I do manage to get out at all, the women I see are still physically attractive to me, but I moreso hope they'll come to me with some corny - "where have you been all my life", or "you look so sad, wanna talk?", or various and sundry cheesy lines. Knowing full-well that's not only not going to happen, I can't even find it in me to smile and say "hi". Just too broken and empty.

Whatever is growing inside of you to replace what died, make sure it's worth propagating then fight for it, like you said.
If it will help you, it's worth that fight.

 

[Drummersi]

Really feeling it today. Zero fucking energy, motivation or tolerance for anything.

I start back in therapy for like the 6th time tomorrow. Hopefully this time it will help.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Well the shit hit the fan then fell into the fire. If it was possible to turn the chaos up to 11 then it certainly has happened.
I feel that I have to postpone my trip to be here to help mitigate the damage as much as I am able. That’s mostly in support of my son and grandson.

Be safe out there.
Love you

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Me too. Everything seems more bleak and hopeless, but that happens every day.

Some days are just so much worse than others, and today totally qualifies. It just doesn't stop.

 

[Rocky_Balboa]

Well the shit hit the fan then fell into the fire. If it was possible to turn the chaos up to 11 then it certainly has happened.
I feel that I have to postpone my trip to be here to help mitigate the damage as much as I am able. That’s mostly in support of my son and grandson.

Be safe out there.
Love you

I'm sorry. I hope it gets better for you.
I'm sorry I don't have better to offer, but I don't have better at all.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I'm sorry. I hope it gets better for you.
I'm sorry I don't have better to offer, but I don't have better at all.

Thank you for your caring. That is enough.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Well my trip is canceled.
I’m not super upset because I’m needed here. Hopefully there will be other opportunities.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I haven’t been on in the last couple days. I hope you’re doing well.

Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I would like to chat about a big problem that not too many people discuss. Sorry to be a downer. But there are too many people out there who are dying because they are depressed. I suffer from depression (not sure why) but I wouldn't think of killing myself. I've always been told that is a perminant solution to a temporary problem. I think it would do a good service to discuss what has worked for you to overcome your depression or what has helped someone you know.

First, thank you for your courage in bringing up something so important. You’re right—too many suffer quietly, and often the hardest conversations are the ones we most need to have. I believe healing from depression isn’t a single moment—it’s a series of tiny victories.
For me (and for people I’ve supported), a few things have mattered deeply:

Connection. Not forced positivity, but real, raw conversations with someone who listens without trying to fix you.

Purpose. Even small things: a project, a pet, a ritual—something that makes you feel your existence matters today, even a little.

Movement. Not just exercise, but any physical expression—walking, stretching, even just getting out of bed when you didn’t want to. It signals to your mind that you’re still here.

Permission to feel. We live in a world obsessed with “happiness.” Sometimes the most healing thing is allowing sadness to be a valid visitor, not a failure.

And you’re absolutely right—Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary storm. The storm always feels endless when you’re inside it, but storms do pass.

They always, always pass. If even one person reads your post and feels a little less alone, you’ve already made a difference today. Thank you for being part of the light, even while fighting your own darkness.

That’s bravery most people never even recognize.

Stay strong. And stay.

 

[Wetkitty09]

First, thank you for your courage in bringing up something so important. You’re right—too many suffer quietly, and often the hardest conversations are the ones we most need to have. I believe healing from depression isn’t a single moment—it’s a series of tiny victories.
For me (and for people I’ve supported), a few things have mattered deeply:

Connection. Not forced positivity, but real, raw conversations with someone who listens without trying to fix you.

Purpose. Even small things: a project, a pet, a ritual—something that makes you feel your existence matters today, even a little.

Movement. Not just exercise, but any physical expression—walking, stretching, even just getting out of bed when you didn’t want to. It signals to your mind that you’re still here.

Permission to feel. We live in a world obsessed with “happiness.” Sometimes the most healing thing is allowing sadness to be a valid visitor, not a failure.

And you’re absolutely right—Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary storm. The storm always feels endless when you’re inside it, but storms do pass.

They always, always pass. If even one person reads your post and feels a little less alone, you’ve already made a difference today. Thank you for being part of the light, even while fighting your own darkness.

That’s bravery most people never even recognize.

Stay strong. And stay.

Morning.
I agree wholeheartedly with your post.
Thanks.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hello all. I hope you’re having the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Hello all. I hope you’re having the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

We all hope same from you too.

 

[Helpme01]

Hello all. I hope you’re having the best day you can.
Be safe out there.
Love you.

It was better than yesterday but not as good as tomorrow will be. I’m calling it now